# right on ranting



## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

with all the influx of directional and divisional posts lately

and the inherent problems of getting the point across
to any wandering listener (especially one that cares)

it came to me that we might help some of these 'ranters" 
by having a 'SOAP BOX CONTEST'
so they can be seen and heard easier by the passing public

as we are all woodworkers 
it seems only right 
that anyone wishing to rant and rave
should have a legal and trusted aid
to do their work from

i propose a box to stand on
i shall make a few rules
to keep this equal for all

1 - the box must be made of wood and be posted on the project pages
as a completed project (or it might be removed thereby making it invalid)

2 - it must fit under the seat in front of you
if carried on an airplane
(not in the overhead rack
lest it fall and hurt someone
in case of an emergency)

3 - it must be an original work
no plans or links to other tried and tested boxes allowed
(no live trees cut down to get lumber from)

4 - it must be portable and light enough
for the average riot cop to conveniently
take to the storage room and to court

5 - any add-on's must fold into the box
and not obstruct any innocent passing pedestrians

6 - the finish must comply to all codes
and be approved for water and smoke damage
and not leave a stain on anyone's clothes
that may come in contact with said box

7 - a maximum of 50 bd ft of lumber allowed
(no super-pac's allowed to help)

the judging will be on thursday the 17th of march
by anyone on LJ's that cares 
(and hasn't been barred or removed)

well that about covers it folks

i of course will not vote or enter in this contest
as it might be construed as a conflict of interest
or a rigged vote


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## superstretch (Jan 10, 2011)

Ha! I'm thinking 50bf might not be enough ^_^

Also, no need to build in a birdcage, since no one will ever admit to eating crow


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

*;-)*


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## BarbS (Mar 20, 2007)

;-) Good one, Patron!


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## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

Just brilliant!

Since the judging is March 17th, St. Patrick's day, i would like to suggest that entries all be painted green.

Greg


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## Manitario (Jul 4, 2010)

best contest ever! Thanks for the smile Patron!


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## stefang (Apr 9, 2009)

How about some alternatives, like a high horse for example?


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

well so long as it ROCKS *mike*
so you can move on down the road
when the police tell you to

we may have to create a committee to augment the rules
and you know how long that takes 
to get anything done


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

A pedestal, maybe.


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## RandyM68 (Jan 20, 2012)

I'd love to enter, but I couldn't build a box without plans.


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

*randy*

can you stack boards ?

i can't offer any more than this
as it might be construed as coaching


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## shinju (Apr 11, 2009)

One great contest,thanks for the laugh….shinju


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

The top should be a cutting board


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

*rex*

you mean like for making sandwiches
to garner votes
that would sure get the homeless to listen


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## Karson (May 9, 2006)

I was thinking that the contest closing date be changed to April 1st.


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

No Karson, that would be foolish


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

that is a good point* karson*

and should give time to do some inlay
and carving if needed


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

This would work better David:


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

*;-)*

*;-)*

*;-)*

Patron, you are even MORE absolutely correct here. +10


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

i always thought these were reserved
for professional ranters
not the beginners we have here


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## SquirrelNuts (Apr 25, 2011)

Mike is funny. He completely agrees with your sarcastic post about soap boxes, yet he has probably the biggest soap box on this site. He's like a politician - always changing his beliefs/views/behaviors to fit the crowd.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Patron,
SO true, so true…


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

one thing i learned through observation
and comments posted

is to post at a time
when everyone is able to comment
(like friday evening and week-ends)

that way i get more responses
with less negative input


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## jack1 (May 17, 2007)

funny


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## shipwright (Sep 27, 2010)

Good topic David. 
While I think that a noose might be a bit too much, I definitely think a trap door is in order.


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## JoeLyddon (Apr 22, 2007)

Patron… David,

Do you know the Maximum dimensions that cover the Airline Under-Seat storage space?

If not, perhaps someone could find it & post it… saving us a little time…

I'm assuming that it can be used to store Soap… yes? LOL

Thank you.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Roger, so dry…

how about turned pen storage too?


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

renners: What about a cutting board supported by four pen columns?


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Here's the irony, those that should be making soap boxes for the April 1st deadline, won't have time because they're too busy slagging everyone off…


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## ShopTinker (Oct 27, 2010)

As an interested bystander, I just read an article where it was stated that the under seat spaces varies depending on which seat you have in which row. I'll offer these dimensions published by Southwest Airlines for under seat dimensions. 
8Hx17Lx12W.


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## REK (Aug 30, 2009)

I do not want to make a box….

You've filled this box with rules….

Only fools would want a box made with rules….

I do not want rules chains or locks…..

As is this box ….

Not to big, nor to small, built from the dead, but you can paint it red…...

Extras must fold, Cop must be able to hold…

As dark as night, able to store out of sight…..

Must not stain, or cause anyone pain…..

What fun is that?????


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## Howie (May 25, 2010)

I've been thinking outside the box so much I haven't got a clue how to build one.(Or is it I don't have a clue period?)


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## Tootles (Jul 21, 2011)

Nice idea Patron - possibly the best contribution to all that has been going on here lately.

And Bob, keep that up and you will be able to publish it under the title "Jocks in Box."


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

thanks guys
i didn't mean to stop so soon

and old friend came by
on his way to bury his mother
i guess you know how that goes
and what we talked about


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## devann (Jan 11, 2011)

I like the sound of you idea David. The box I'm wrangling with today isn't much fun.

FYI, it's a box that fit's over a mini refrigerator with a microwave oven on top of it. That's the easy part. It occupies the former passenger seat space in a 379 Peterbuilt, fit, adjust,refit, adjust…..


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## Martyroc (Feb 1, 2012)

Great idea Patron, finally an off topic post with no bad will in it


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

How about a soap box with a trap door?


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

great idea *roger*
one we can pull 
the lever on


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

David. A remote would be nicer than a lever.


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

hmmmm …...

a remote controlled toilet

now that sound like a winner to me


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Yeah David, that'll flush em out for sure.


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

and get all the passerby's their attention too

how often do you see a guy standing in a toilet
raving on a street corner


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## devann (Jan 11, 2011)

David, I'll make one with a bidet feature. You can hose 'em down before flushing.

Y'all know any plumbers?


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## spanky46 (Feb 12, 2009)

Very good Patron but I would add no one can show their box until a specific date as that will keep the copycats at bay! There I had my say! oops, no box, sorry!


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

good morning all

well we all can't be stars

we can however be extras
milling around the set

gathering at the corner

when the curtain goes up


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## RandyM68 (Jan 20, 2012)

David,

you are more

of a character actor

than an uncredited extra.

A familiar face that everyone knows,

but not enough,

to blame,

a bad movie on them.

A welcome additon,

on any set,

you might even,

save the show.


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## Karson (May 9, 2006)

I was thinking something along this line.


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## Karson (May 9, 2006)

David:

Here you are on your soapbox. Even a handcart to bring it around to your favorite street corner.


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

thanks *randy*
let me know when the tabloids arrive
i'll strut around 
looking cool

wow *karson*

i could play that part

but as i can't enter in the contest

is there something 
that calls for laying down
i'm getting pretty good at that
maybe a cameo
like hitchcock


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## NormG (Mar 5, 2010)

Makes perfect sense to me


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## Karson (May 9, 2006)

David; I agree that we are having too much of this.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

I think it should be an ACTUAL soap box. The "soap" could really come in handy at times *;-)*


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## KentS (May 27, 2009)

David, Best thread I've seen yet on Non-shop Talk

Thanks!!!!


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Did someone ask for a soapbox with rules????


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## EPJartisan (Nov 4, 2009)

I don't like being told what to do… so I am building a ball to stand on instead .. just don't expect me to stay upright for very long. LOL


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