# Keeping it positve



## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

In a way this post is juxtaposition in it self. Days and weeks gone by I've seen and unfortunately been involved with some post that seem to grow more and more negative. Some of the post were suggesting that we should limit how and who should post, and of course like any post they had a variety of responses including PMs to posters . The one I was involved in I PMed someone and suggested they were bringing down the posting standards of LJ. After a day or so I realized I was doing what I think is a 110% wrong by telling others what to do and how to post thus I sent an apology to the person I PMed. Shortly after this episode a LJ member that had sent me a number PMs several months ago saying I should post in more detail and keep track of past post in and that one word post were a waste of time in a way that I thought was a very negative way, in short this person sent me a Pm to apologise(thanks again) for the PMs of the past himself realizing it's not our place to tell others how to post. So when I post now I try to speak in general rather than to engage in personal attacks . This seems to be a good way (as far as I can see) to express a difference an opinion with out making LJs a negative unfriendly place(the complete opposite of what it usually is) In saying that we should *keep it positive and friendly* I know that I'm suggesting a proper way to post thus the juxtaposition. 
I want to wish you and yours all a joyous holiday season.
Jim


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## BarbS (Mar 20, 2007)

Thanks for the reminder Jim. I've learned the hard way to stop and read my postings, and try to consider them from the receiving end, before hitting the send button. My sense of humor is sometimes misinterpreted, sadly!


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## cstrang (Sep 22, 2009)

I too have been involved in some racy posts the past few weeks, I must say I agree with you 100% Jim. If we feel the need to disagree with anyone's personal views, do it in a private, constructive and non-confrontational way. As Barbs said,thanks for the reminder. And I wish you, your family and all of my fellow Lj's out there happy holidays and a prosperous new year.


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## NBeener (Sep 16, 2009)

Thank you, Jim, and … thank you, David (Patron) for your contributions on this subject.

I try to remind myself-frequently-that while the computer DOES NOT allow people to gauge tone of voice, body language, or other contextual clues (and that little emoticons [;-p] may not say enough), I also try to remember a PLUS to the written word:

I shouldn't really ever write anything that I have to take back, later (I surely have!!! But I shouldn't!).

Writing gives us that critical moment to pause, exhale, take a walk, get some coffee, or … in some other way … remove ourselves from the passion and the tension of the moment.

Since we *cannot see* the impact of our words on the reader, we should all take the time required to at least *re-read* our words before hitting the "Send" button (or equivalent). As *BarbS* implied, sometimes waiting an hour … or a day … before hitting the send button … will allow you a fresh perspective.

I wish everybody a happy, healthy holiday season, full of too much food and sawdust!!


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## BlankMan (Mar 21, 2009)

I agree Jim, and I think we all need to remember that they are just opinions and they are based on what the person knows/believes. And if we step back for a moment especially when sometimes gets our ire up and remember the persons intentions are meant to be good and maybe they don't express themselves the best or it's misinterpreted maybe that might help. I catch myself when I see something and think that's the wrong way, no, it might not be my right way but usually there are many right ways


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Hey barbs 
I have the same problem, a sense of humor that leaves some saying, huh 
When I think what I'm saying is suppose to be funny I put the good old" LOL or ) "but it still leaves some folks confused about my twisted or corny sense of humor.


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## 33706 (Mar 5, 2008)

Thanks for the words, a1Jim!
I tried to express a minor epiphany a month or so ago, about how we are all very diverse people tied by our one single bond: our love of woodworking. This was due to the fact that I'd see reactions from people that were totally unexpected, sometimes downright contrary, and even the occaisional personal attack that takes everyone by surprise. I too am puzzled by the users who wish to put an element of control over our participation here, such as limiting the participation in forums or controlling our project postings. Most of us used to think that it was the subjects of religion or politics that erupted in flames here; but now we've all seen how *any* topic can bring out the worst in some people.
I look forward to your typically pleasant, astute observations, and kind words for all.


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## BlankMan (Mar 21, 2009)

Neil, very good point. You don't know how many times I let something upset me, started writing an email didn't finish it or put it in the draft folder and came back hours or a day later and was soooo glad it was never sent. I try to do just that now, walk away for a while, I slip up, but not near as much as I used to. Even more, I try to head it off by not letting things upset me.


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## GFYS (Nov 23, 2008)

OH! Barbs is your NAME! I thought it was your posting style! JUST KIDDING!


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## Abbott (May 10, 2009)

I have been attacked a couple of times as well and it always seems to be the same people that also attack others. But all in all this is a very calm place to hang out with adult posters when compared to the rest of the Internet.

I think the same way *Jim* and try to be careful what I post so some folks don't take (to much) offense to something I might say. I also try and keep my true thoughts on some subjects to myself as not to start a negative thread or send a thread off on a negative tangent. Sometimes I am amazed at some of the complaint threads that seem so petty to me but I do try and realize that some folks have egos with a need to be fed. Overall its only a small thing and this is a friendly, helpful and useful website.

Merry Christmas to all!


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## GFYS (Nov 23, 2008)

Principles before Personalities people!


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## BarbS (Mar 20, 2007)

Dan-
why do you think I Chose Barbs? heh.


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## SEE (Sep 23, 2009)

Jim, This is a good post that makes some excellent points. We SHOULD keep things positive. Most of us are here to learn, share what we've learned and to encourage and be encouraged.

I've found that on many forums, woodworking and other topics as well, that there will always be a few people who are simply antagonistic. Generally, I try to ignore those people.

There's a huge difference in constructive criticism and personal criticism. On another forum that I frequent there's this one fella that will always, and mean always, find something to criticize about another person's work. Furthermore, it's not in a constructive way, usually mean spirited. I've learned to ignore jerks like that when they criticize my work. However, when they criticize a fellow woodworker, I make it a point to rebut his criticism in the topic thread, hoping that the person who is posting pics of their project will realize that the mean spirited fella is simply expressing his always negative point of view.

AMEN, keep it positive.


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

as we all know ,
even with our loved ones ,
face to face ,
it is sometimes easy to miss communicate .

some times i don't feel good ,
sometimes they don't feel good .

we can only be ourselves ,
and be as kind and considerate as we are capable of .

across the e-waves , 
it can even be harder .

thank you jim ,
your comments to me ,
show the caring person that you are ,
whether short ,
or humorous ,
the fact that you noticed ,
is always welcome , 
and many new LJ's welcome your comments also .

everyone wants a little ' atta boy ' once in a while .

if we can't say hello in a friendly way ,
we can forget world peace !

wishing you all a great holidays !


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## LesB (Dec 21, 2008)

You are right Jim, but I think it is all about the 10%ers of any group. There are always 10% who cause conflicts. 
10% Jerks
10% insensitive
10% ignorant
10% do-gooders
And .1% who are just evil
And so on.
I just try to ignore them and hope I haven't occasionally slipped into one of those groups.

Conversely too much sensitivity leads to a reluctance to make any constructive comments at all for fear of offending someone. Some of us seek constructive comments on our work and a few even put the request for them in the comments of their posting.


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

and remember that sometimes "no comment" is the best comment. When negativity sets in even good intentions keep it growing. In such cases your wisdom is best kept to yourself and let the negativity fizzle.


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Good point Debbie
Hey Les
I guess No matter what we think the percentages are we can focus on the positive folks. I know what your saying about zero constructive comments but it takes some cautious tack to do that with out folks taking offence even if they ask for all comments.


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## REK (Aug 30, 2009)

If only everyone were perfect like me Jim, we'd have less foot- in- the- mouth- its, or more!!!!lol…


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

WE can only try Bob LOL


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## lilredweldingrod (Nov 23, 2009)

With todays technology, we can just point the little arrow, click, and poof, no more negativity. Besides, it is not nice to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. Life is just to short.


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## Abbott (May 10, 2009)

*I just try to ignore them and hope I haven't occasionally slipped into one of those groups.*

Well said *Les*.


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## rhett (May 11, 2008)

Well since I looked at your projects and saw your level of craftsmanship, I will reply to your post =). I often times find myself comming off a bit crass, I am beginning to realize that some times keeping it to yourself is the best place to keep it.


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## BlankMan (Mar 21, 2009)

lilredweldingrod, LMAO, the unarmed person thing. This is one of the many reasons I like this place, getting a good laugh.


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## FirehouseWoodworking (Jun 9, 2009)

Well said, Jim.

I have made a rule for myself in posting comments to any of the blogs in which I participate. If I have something POSITIVE to add or wish to POSITIVELY encourage the discussion, then I will post my comments. If I have nothing to ADD beyond what has already been posted or if my comments would be negative, I hit the back arrow key!


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## degoose (Mar 20, 2009)

Hear Hear!!


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## Schummie (Feb 3, 2008)

Jim,

maybe strange, but what is now the intention from your message?
I searched the word "juxtaposition" in didn't know that word (so as many more)
is this a normal word in the US?
It seams the mean:
1. an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, esp. for comparison or contrast.
2. the state of being close together or side by side.

Schummie.


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## lilredweldingrod (Nov 23, 2009)

Curt,
Glad you enjoied it. I was just thinking, with all the beautiful projects reflecting what has to be a beautiful heart, with tons of love, how can things get so out of hand occasionally. It definitly amazes me.

With over 14,000 Ljer's, I will probably never see all of your sites. But what I have seen and the way everyone is so willing to mentor us new ones, I don't feel those that have made a few off the wall remarks, are really agitators. Remember, we all have a bad day once in awhile. Surly we can look the other way and continue to enjoy the beautiful creations produced by all.

Jim, see what you did, you got me up on me bully pulpit and we're not susposed to be preaching here. lol


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## ND2ELK (Jan 25, 2008)

I totally agree with you Jim. Life is too short to sweet the little stuff. MsDebbieP is right, sometimes "no comment" is the best comment.

God Bless
tom


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Hey Schummie
My understanding of the word is that that although you compare to items and the seem compatible they have a contrast .
For example, Michael Moore uses juxtaposition in Fahrenheit 911, when he plays the song What a Wonderful World while playing scenes of war and violence.
I don't know if this helps. It's possible that I have not used this word properly. I'm sure there must be someone with a much better command of the English language than myself. Just about anyone LOL
To answer your question I rarely use this word.


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

It is beyond me why people post their pet peeves; it's not going to change anything and usually causes trouble. I wonder why people let such petty little things bother them in the first place ??? I have noticed the world is full of @$$#0les, so there are enough without me being one too )


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## BlankMan (Mar 21, 2009)

Not that you'd wanna be one eh Topa?  LOL (just kidding) etc.


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## Bothus (Sep 14, 2009)

Boy I don't know what I did to piss you guys off but I'm sure glad you have gotten over it.

(that was a joke).

Jiim and Schummie, I think this is an example of how things can be misunderstood. I never looked up the definition of juxtaposition until right now and you are right Schummie, it doesn't seem to mean what I thought it did.

I always thought juxtaposition meant that two things were switched around so that they created a conflict or were obviously opposites or something like that.

So what I took it to mean when I read Jim's post was that while the title said "keeping it positive" he felt the body of the post could be considered negative.

I didn't consider it negative myself but I'm easy.

On a personal note, I love this place and you would have to be pretty negative to get me riled up. But having said that in the past (not here) I have been misunderstood because of my writing style. Like MsDebbie said not everyone understands my humor.

That's why I do videos whenever I can. Less chance of being misunderstood. I don't mind someone disagreeing with me but if they do disagree I don't want it to be because they misunderstood what I meant.

Love, Peace and Happiness,

Bothus


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

Curt, S'pose I could be if I had too )


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Hey Bothus
MY use of juxtaposition was meant to be a contrast between saying we should not tell others how to post while telling them to post more postive post.


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## spud72 (Oct 31, 2008)

Life is too short to be bitching and complaining. People bitch and complain because they don't like where they find themselves. If your not happy with the situation you are in at the present, just look in the mirror and you will see the best person that can do something about it.

Words of wisdom from the great white north


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## cabinetmaster (Aug 28, 2008)

Jim, I try to stay out of these if at all possibble. But that guy who posted over 800 times in 4 hours yesterday really p…..d me off. I sent him a really bad PM and then sent Martin a PM. It was just shortly after I sent that PM he did stop his postings and I noticed Martin removed him and all his posts tonight. I have to say that is the first and hopefully last time I do this on here.


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## SteveMI (May 19, 2009)

Good post Jim!!

Steve.


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## Wood_Chuck (Feb 19, 2009)

Heh Jim!, we are human and the sky isn't blue everyday, but we keep plugging along. I for one am glad to be part of the LJ's group, I have learned a lot of cool stuff from all of you. It has helped me be a better at what I do.


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Good one spud
Yea Jerry I let Martin know about that guy too.
Thanks Steve
Hey Mike
Your right every day is not perfect nor is every persons day. We just do the best we can. I'm glad there is a LJs and I get to be part of the LJs family. Along with everyone I've learned tons of new and cool stuff every day too.


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## russv (Sep 21, 2009)

well, if i make a comment that makes you (anyone) mad i deny any complicity. it was the not-me-ghost when i was away from my computer.

now quit with the mussy talk. (just kidding)

russv


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## Loucarb (Dec 19, 2008)

Jim, I'm with you too. I also think that sometimes no comment is the best comment, with this electronic communication it is very easy to misinterpret what is trying to be said. Keeping it positive and friendly is what this place is all about I hope it stays that way.
Lou


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## Padre (Nov 5, 2008)

Absolutely Jim, positive and supportive is the way to go.


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## Quixote (Jun 9, 2008)

Jim, we have such an interesting mix of people with a wealth of experience.

Not all of it is in woodworking, and certainly not all of it is positive, ( Holding up my hand here, I could offer a graduate course in not what to do in small business…lol 

But that bad experience doesn't give me license to rain on someone else or their parade.

My personal craftsmanship level pales in comparison to some of the real artist's who contribute their works, but I always feel welcome here, and comfortable in sharing that I can produce some decent work, quickly and on a budget.

Glad to see you're smilin' again.

Q


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## Gary (Jul 24, 2006)

Jim,
I've always found your posts straight up and to the point.
It's not always necessary to say a lot to contribute things others can appreciate, learn from, 
or just enjoy a simple compliment.
Cheers,
G


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## KentS (May 27, 2009)

Right on Jim!

Thanks


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## lumberdustjohn (Sep 24, 2009)

Jim, you were one of the reasons I joined LJ.

I was skeptical at first and read what people were saying about projects listed.
Finding most of the comments kind and rewarding or somewhat sugar coated was O.K.

I enjoy reading the post and looking at the fantastic creations.
Thanks to all.


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## ellen35 (Jan 1, 2009)

Good post, Jim.
You have always been a positive person on this site.
I think if we treat others as we would like to be treated, we will be OK.
NEgativity and nastiness has no place on a site like this. We are all in this together; we all learn from each other and teach each other. That is the value of friendship and camaraderie. That is what makes us different on ths site.
Ellen


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## stefang (Apr 9, 2009)

It's good to discuss how we want to behave on this site off and on so we don't ruin it. So thank you Jim for bringing about this discussion and your concern with keeping us moving in a positive direction.

I do often comment on projects where I'm not adding any value, but if it's something I like, I do want to say it. On occasion I have made critical, and I hope constructive comments to a project (not about a person or his comments), but I do this on a PM so the person knows I'm not trying to score points at his expense. The responses to these very few PMs have always been positive and I have always been thanked for being constructive.

When it comes to people who are trying to stir up trouble I think the best thing is just to ignore them. If they don't get a response they will quickly lose interest and go elsewhere.

Maybe this site tends to bring out the best in us because we feel the positive vibes and it makes us want to contribute towards maintaining that spirit. For me LJ is an oasis in desert of negativity and I sincerely hope it stays that way.


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## BillyJ (Aug 18, 2009)

Jim: I am glad you posted this. After posting what I felt was just some venting on my part, I noticed how quickly it turned negative. I have found LJ to be a great place to gleam knowledge from professionals, see interesting designs, and just awe at the artistic projects. I have always felt woodworkers are a different breed - a lot more friendlier than others.

Thanks for the reminder, as this is something that I need to keep first in my mind before posting anything.

Happy holidays!


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## GFYS (Nov 23, 2008)

no comment


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