# An actual Craigslist personal ad



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..
my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head

... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking
bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with
me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help
mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station,-on
your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
the curb …. after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell
just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little
over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in
two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel
this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex


----------



## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

I don't know if that actually happened, but I'd sure love to believe it did.


----------



## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

some justice in the making

somehow we need to get our moral compass 
working again

and learn to help each other
instead of going it alone

a good story
but some bs mixed in too


----------



## C_PLUS_Woodworker (Jun 10, 2010)

Love it, Rick. Thanks. I have just sent it on to some of my buddies. Best.


----------



## Maverick44spec (Aug 7, 2011)

I love it! Thats really funny.


----------



## LepelstatCrafts (Jan 16, 2011)

A mugger is a fool
To attempt to steal from a marine
Semper Fi bulldog


----------



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Well guys, I don't know if it's true or not, but it sure is a good story…..

Like Charlie said, I'd like to believe it really happened…..If it is, the sucker got what he deserved…..lol.


----------



## BarneyTomB (Jul 5, 2011)

This really brightened my day. I'm going to chose to believe it did happen. I'm sure Homeland Security will help that mugger get those sludge stains out of his drawers, maybe with a little water boarding.


----------



## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I'd like to believe it too. I have seen this in my inbox several times. I always wondered what the low life who tried to steal my tools out the van thought when they got hit by an electric fencer jolt tyning the back door to see if it would open ;-)) That got to be a pain to set up every night, so I just wired the back door to my truck alarm and 3 500 watt quartz lights; instant daylight!! and lots of noise ;-)) Never did see any signs of brown in the driveway. Must have had good tight diapers on ;-))


----------



## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I just remembered an action pistol shooter who was told to surrender his cash at a cash machine in Tacoma one night about 20 years ago. He just glared at his potential assailants. They wisely fled ;-)) That was a wise move, he could easily have dropped all three before they figured out where their trigger was!!

One night I was coming home from the range after the Sat night Bar-B-Que at a match. I needed a little cash for Sunday's entry fees. There was a bank on South Tacoma Way that I had to pass going to the freeway. I drove around it but didn't see a cash machine. I parked and walked around it, but couldn't find one. It finally dawned on me, only totally brain dead fool would use a cash machine in that part of Tacoma in those days. ;-)) The bank knew better than to put one on their building.


----------



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

I can say there is nothing like a good s#@t stain to ruin a good pair of drawers when there's a .45 leveled at your head….He's lucky the Marine didn't blow his head off. But….fact or fiction…..we don't know.


----------



## bluekingfisher (Mar 30, 2010)

You have to love the story Rick - good one. Maybe you guys should bring Dirty Harry back out of retirement - couldn't we all, just too much of that cr*p taking place these days.

I was reading in this mornings newspaper you have some serious rain coming to your part of the country mate? no doubt you could could use some, just not a years downpour at once.

I hope your well buddy.

David


----------



## sbryan55 (Dec 8, 2007)

Rick, this made my day!


----------



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

When I first read this story, I was wondering why he posted it on Craigslist, of all places. Do you think he might be a woodworker in the real world? It is possible, you know…...!!!!


----------



## knotscott (Feb 27, 2009)

Love it! (true or not…)


----------



## Sawkerf (Dec 31, 2009)

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but that "letter" has been around for years. Different cities and details, but the story is basically the same. An oldie, but a goodie. - lol


----------



## Howie (May 25, 2010)

Although what you stated was enough to get you at least 20 years, I liked the story.
Difference in you and me(I carry also,legally) when he pulled the knife it was all over for him.


----------



## jeepturner (Oct 3, 2010)

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Yeah, too many wistful things in that letter to actually be true.

IMO, it's kinda like the GOP debate, and even Rick Perry returning to Texas for a little fire near Austin. Perry never bothered about ANY of the FIRST 3+million acres of Texas that burned earlier this year in Texas. Perry even refused to use the 8-Billion dollar Texas Rainy Day Fund to fight any of it. Instead, Perry leached off of the Federal Teat, even after Eric Cantor insisted that all Federal aid for disasters be billed back to the individual States that suffer such disasters. But *just believe* that this snake oil is the cure and everything will be right for the world. Sorry, just couldn't help myself… *;-)*


----------



## Manitario (Jul 4, 2010)

awesome post Rick, gave me a good laugh over my morning coffee. I can only hope it's true.


----------



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Hey Mike,

What does your post have to do with the oriiginal topic? Nothing that I can see. I posted this as a good-humor story, because it was sent to me, also. It wasn't meant to be a thread about politics..That was not my intent….It was merely to have a laugh, and that's all….So let's leave the politics out of it, ok? Thanks…..


----------



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Yea Manitario, it was pretty funny when I read it, too…..It's probably not true, but we would like to think so.


----------



## tom427cid (Aug 21, 2011)

Yup,thats funny.
tom


----------



## Gregn (Mar 26, 2010)

If nothing else it gives food for thought to other thugs out there.


----------



## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

My son just sent me another version of this story….only this time it happened in Nashville, TN. where he lives. So, I don't know how much of this is true, if it actually happened (?), or wheather it is a fabrication of someone's mind….Either way, it still makes for a good chuckle, and as Gregn said, it gives food for thought if other would-be thugs ever tried it…...When I lived in Memphis, Tn. for 20 years, I went packed everywhere in that town…I had a permit to carry, but it's no good here in Arkansas, and Ar. doesn't issue permits to carry.
Besides, where I live, I wouldn't need one unless someone elderly tried to mug me…...lol.


----------



## jeepturner (Oct 3, 2010)

I posted the link above to the snopes investigation of the story. The story is not true, it's just more misinformation.
If you read the explanation it's kind of sad. It was a complete fabrication to by a guy who had his house broken into. In order to exercise those feelings of helplessness he pinned this story to make him feel better. Now it's taken a life of it's own, perpetrated by well meaning people on the internet who unintentionally spread the untruths.

Yeah it would have been neat if it had happened but it didn't. Normally those predatory folks chose there marks because they know they have the upper hand. Having your house burglarized leaves one feeling vulnerable and used, and the worst thing is you don't know who to take the inevitable anger out on. So you pen a story…..........


----------

