# Can anyone recommend a good toilet paper?



## upinflames (Jun 24, 2012)

Holy crap, this place is getting to be great for a laugh, several times I have nearly shot coffee from my nose. I have since quit getting a drink when reading some of the stuff here.

Let's be honest, is it really that stressful and mind boggling to hang a watchamacallit somewhere, or buy a dohickey for the thingamabob.

What color should I paint my new gadget to match my old one?

I know a friend of a friend of the guy down the road that knows another guy that knows a lady that makes great brownies, do you think I should buy 1 or a dozen?

I have a dog that likes cats but when I turn on my chiwanese bandsaw( by the way, their customer service is excellent) they both bark.

If I buy wood from the big box stores, will I be humiliated when it all turns purple?

I want a good shovel, but I am limited in space, so I want one that is about 2 foot long but I need to dig a eight foot hole.

Come on folks, say some of your questions and answers out loud. You might be surprised how silly it sounds.


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## SuperCubber (Feb 23, 2012)

I wasn't even phased by the title of your post. What's that say? Haha


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## Picklehead (Feb 12, 2013)

I'm just glad the title doesn't refer to your cornhole project!


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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

I recommend using something that you probably already have around the shop:


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## longgone (May 5, 2009)

*Toilet paper for complaining asses…!*


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## wseand (Jan 27, 2010)

When I first started on here it was great to get my stupid questions answered. Yeah, I get annoyed with a lot of them now but I try to answer them. I probably still ask stupid questions. You barley contribute to this site so why do you even care?


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## upinflames (Jun 24, 2012)

Well, wseand, when I first joined , I tried to help. THEN I found out that with all the perfessionals on here, that "do it this way because that's the way this guy that sells this crap you need in order for it to look exactly like mine"

I have been in business for over thirty years doing this stuff, I have learned just a few tricks here and there, thought I could pick up some here when I joined, well I don't do cutting boards or spend months making jigs.

When a perfessional tells you " oh no, if you do it that way it is going to look horrible" I figured out real quick, most weekend woodworkers are in their own little click.

SO, I just sit back and laugh at most of the posts, I admire DKV, he just rubs it in everyone's face in a tactful way.

BTW, I misspelled professional on purpose, I doubt you would understand why. Have a good day.


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## mudflap4869 (May 28, 2014)

Menopause is a bitch! My wife hated everything about a certain establishment, yet she went there all the time. She didn't buy anything, but she bitched about the service and products. I learned that sometimes it is just best to ignore a menopausal bitch who knows everything.


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## distrbd (Sep 14, 2011)

upinflames,the off topic forum here is very popular ,it looks like you have been reading those"funny" threads from that forum,but when you look at* all *the threads being posted you get a different impression,these are a few examples of the leading threads:
2-3 threads /questions on Cherry,few on hand tools,one on upcoming sale, one on dovetail,woodworking tips,etc,etc,etc.
What's wrong with this site with so much stuff to read?sure you can pick a few posts from the whole lot that are " boring" and judge the site on those but why would you?specially if they make you laugh so much that you " have nearly shot coffee from your nose".


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## wseand (Jan 27, 2010)

UpInFlames
I couldn't care less why you would misspell a word. Obviously, you are better then everyone else on the site. 
So why not answer a few questions and help us less fortunate Perfessionals? Hey look at that I can misspell it too.


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## OldWrangler (Jan 13, 2014)

Hey stop that. You guys play nice. This is a family forum, seems like we all have grandkids.


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## upinflames (Jun 24, 2012)

This is for two goobers that can't read…...I never, anywhere in this post, or on any other post, have claimed to know everything or be better than anyone else. I have answered questions in the past, tried to show how to save money on cartridges for dust collectors, I was about as dumb as a box of rocks from what I was told. Then, one of the weekend gurus said the exact same thing in a later post( go figure there would be numerous posts about stuff….)and by cracky, he was a genius. So I gave up a long time ago trying to compete with stupid. I do wish everyone well, I'll not be posting any further comments or starting any threads.


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## murch (Mar 20, 2011)

In answer to your original question - it really depends on how hairy you are in the underpants department &
what you had for your dinner.
I reckon most of us could get away with a rub of a moist wipe to finish after a yard of paper 1st.
Or you could just use a deck-scrub for the morning after a feed of Guinness.


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## murch (Mar 20, 2011)

Of course this is primarily a woodworking site, so I suppose you could start off with 80 grit wet/dry sandpaper and work your way up to 1200.
Maybe the professionals & w/enders could let us know their preferred sandpaper brands and methods of use,
eg straight up and down or a brisk circular motion.
This would surely provide for lively debate.


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## darinS (Jul 20, 2010)

but *murch*, which is better, hand sanding or using a ROS? Maybe a finish sander for the higher grits?


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Going postal.


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## splatman (Jul 27, 2014)

> Going postal.
> 
> - madts


Are you trying to say, with just 2 words, that there is a bathroom use for junk mail? I think that is going to keep the toilet plunger up all night.
I've heard, on the History Channel, of all places, that Sears catalogs came in handy, before TP became commonplace.

If you need any suggestions regarding TP holders, this idea has to be my fave.


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## robscastle (May 13, 2012)

Humm I wonder where DKV is?


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## Hinge (Oct 11, 2013)

DKV is over on another thread giving tablesaw buying advice.

Upinflames, hang in there.


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## Daruc (Apr 20, 2015)

It's hard to be in 2 places at once…..unless it's the internet!


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## distrbd (Sep 14, 2011)

> DKV is over on another thread giving tablesaw buying advice.
> 
> Upinflames, hang in there.
> 
> - Hinge


It's always good to get his advice before they pull the trigger.


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## Ghidrah (Jan 20, 2015)

upinflames,

Many people don't have enough experience, technique and or tools to do the projects they're involved with, can't afford to waste money buying the wrong tool and come to places like this for help. Many may not have the common terminology to properly ask the questions they need answered. The ones with experience often must drag it out by playing 20 questions.

34 yrs cutting wood allowed me to collect lots of tools that make my life simpler, like many of the posters here simpler. What some may forget is how they accomplished things the hard way when they didn't have all the bells and whistles.

If you've been in business over 30 something jaded the crap out of you. I know it sounds hackneyed but, "The only stupid question is the one you don't ask, it probably will be stupid, but unless you ask how will you know". It's better to look stupid and be right than smug and be wrong.

Some people are tool snobs, so what, my 1st bed frame was built with a circ, jigsaw, rasp, framing chisel, screw driver and sandpaper we slept in it 24 yrs, and it got me 4 bed frame projects.

Cut the beginner some slack, you were one once yeah.


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## upinflames (Jun 24, 2012)

Holy cow, old one brought back to life, Ghidrah, I don't have a problem with beginners asking questions, I learn something new every day, when I know it all I will hang it up, that's when somebody will get hurt.

This post came about from a "experienced" hand asking " where on my bench should I mount a power strip"

The only one that can answer that is HIM…..


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## Ghidrah (Jan 20, 2015)

Did the "experienced hand" have any posts under the belt? There are meat puppets just trying to make post count because they may believe it gives them credibility and background but can't brain out a non douche-y way to do it.

In the framing trade, I tried learning something new everyday, but mostly it was once a month if I was lucky. I worked for and around many Gens and subs, many had at least one thing the rest didn't that saved time, effort, waste and manpower. About 20 yrs into it I ran out of people that knew more than me, (regarding framing, roofing and siding).

The one guy I would have liked to study under when it came to ornate staircases got himself into trouble taking on frames too big and convoluted for someone that could only construct simple "A" frame roof structures. However, the guy could talk the panties off a nun and got a lot of work because of it. Eventually it got him divorced, bankrupted and out of the trade in the state.

Sad or not, no one ever gets to know it all Hoss, when you find yourself in a stab myself in the neck situation, walk it off; take a knee. 
Sorry, I always wanted to say that to somebody.


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## Bluepine38 (Dec 14, 2009)

Up in flames, seems like you can not even be a comic without attracting hecklers. Having been the 
Chick Sales route with Monkey Wards and Sears as a kid, any of the new TP is great, mainly because
the seat got moved inside where it is warmer in the winter.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

upin, your original post was hilarious. Closer to the truth than anyone likes to admit. Ignore ghidrah. I think either he has personal issues or he was one of the posters you mentioned in your op. Hang in there and keep contributing. This site needs more tongue in cheek humor…


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## TheFridge (May 1, 2014)

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?


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## Ghidrah (Jan 20, 2015)

Oh DVK,

I'm sure that because you were raised in a home with far sighted parents and low ceilings you likely suffered head trauma when they played toss the baby … whoops … crap! Don't worry hun, get the crazy glue, he'll be alright once we glue the sagittal sutures back together.

Likely the reason you can't tell the difference between honest critique and derision. I sympathize with upinflames, however I avoid the question threads that don't interest me especially if the sarcasm urge rises in my throat.

I'm not a doctor, but I often thought I'd be a good one after watching an episode of House. I feel confident we could improve on your looks and possibly your demeanor if we flapped that extra thick calcified slab of dermis back and removed most the excessive bone growth due to the previous trauma. We could do it with a Stanley #4 smoothing plane, you'll look good!

I have no use for smiley faces or emoticons, but if I did I'd place one at the end of this sentence.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Now that's what I'm talking about. A little humor.


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## upinflames (Jun 24, 2012)

I rest my case….........


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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

> What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
> 
> - TheFridge


What do you mean? An African or European swallow?


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## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

> Going postal.
> 
> - madts
> 
> ...


My mother grew up on a farm in the southwest corner of Minnesota, and yes indeed, they used the Sears' catalog pages for wiping. Ice would form on the inside walls of the house on really cold nights; her dad would go put another log in the stove on those nights. They did not go outside during the winter. Must have had a chamber pot. I dunno, I never thought to ask my mother about that, and now she's gone.


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## crank49 (Apr 7, 2010)

> upinflames,
> 
> Many people don t have enough experience, technique and or tools to do the projects they re involved with, can t afford to waste money buying the wrong tool and come to places like this for help. Many may not have the common terminology to properly ask the questions they need answered. The ones with experience often must drag it out by playing 20 questions.
> 
> ...


Some times it is better to be silent and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.


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## Ghidrah (Jan 20, 2015)

Well crank that was profound, what other enlightened morsels have you pulled out of your crackerjack box of truth?


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Ghidrah, you're not doing to good. I'm glad you're dealing with it so well.


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## TheFridge (May 1, 2014)

Chuck. You made my day bud.


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## Smitty_Cabinetshop (Mar 26, 2011)

This new learning amazes me. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes…...


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## tomd (Jan 29, 2008)

I used to be dumb but now I'm better.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Fridge, headed east or west?


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## BadJoints (Jun 3, 2015)

You people need help.


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## theoldfart (Sep 9, 2011)

Is it hotter in the south than it is in the summer?


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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana"


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## TheFridge (May 1, 2014)

If it was European, I'd say east. We all know African swallows are larger but non migratory.


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## Blackie_ (Jul 10, 2011)

> Holy cow, old one brought back to life, Ghidrah, I don t have a problem with beginners asking questions, I learn something new every day, when I know it all I will hang it up, that s when somebody will get hurt.
> 
> This post came about from a "experienced" hand asking " where on my bench should I mount a power strip"
> 
> ...


This reminded me of some techniques I learned during my shop addition, just by watching the guy that was helping me, I learned that by using several small 2×4 blocks cut offs under your sheet of plywood as it lay across the saw horses on top of two 8' 2×4s positing the smaller blocks under the ply allowed the blade to pass over the 8 footers without cutting into them, I would have never thought of this on my own, in the past I had been positioning roller stands under the cuts, it's these simple things that one might never know unless they see with their own eyes are ask the question.


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## Blackie_ (Jul 10, 2011)

> Oh DVK,
> 
> I m sure that because you were raised in a home with far sighted parents and low ceilings you likely suffered head trauma when they played toss the baby … whoops … crap! Don t worry hun, get the crazy glue, he ll be alright once we glue the sagittal sutures back together.
> 
> ...


Now that's a good one right there, I laughed.


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## HamS (Nov 10, 2011)

The New York Times.


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

NYT's Yes one of the better news papers of the free world. I would choose any one of Fox News papers, because they are all ready full of doo-doo.

Madts.


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## upinflames (Jun 24, 2012)

Ahhh, but nowadays all newspapers are full of crap, the question is, which section is least irritating to the rear end…..............


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