# Just the headlines...



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

This is a thread that I am going to use to display headlines that I see throughout the day that interest, amuse or shock me. I am only going to post the headlines. If anyone cares to dig deeper with me then I am up for that. I also welcome all others that care to post their headlines. Woodworking is fun but we need to broaden our horizons occasionally and keep track of what is happening in the real world outside of wood. This is my first headline.

Consumer Reports Rates Several Android Phones Over The iPhone 5


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

More Guns = More Killing; from the New York times


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

10 REASONS TEXAS SECESSION WILL FAIL; chron.com


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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

*Modern-Day Robin Hood Just Sleeping In Woods, Shooting Rich People With Arrows*

*Scientists Debut Robot That Can Run A Half-Marathon, Smugly Brag About It*

*Obese Salmon Unable To Swim Upstream To Spawn*

*Environmental Ad Campaign Encourages Turning Shower Off After Showering*

- the Onion


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Chuckv, ya gotta love the onion.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

WHERE DO YOU STAND ON ABORTION? The Daily Beast.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Depends…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Good thing for the mom and kids we are still allowed guns…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Wow, who wudda thunk (there's that word again).


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

It's Official: 2012 Was Hottest Year Ever in U.S.

By JUSTIN GILLIS

Published: January 8, 2013 Comment

FACEBOOKTWITTERGOOGLE+SAVEE-MAILSHAREPRINTREPRINTSThe numbers are in: 2012, the year of a blistering March heat wave, a severe drought in the Corn Belt and a massive storm that caused broad devastation in mid-Atlantic states, turns out to have been the hottest year ever recorded in the contiguous United States.


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

'Armed Mafia Are Stalking Us'-Conspiracy Peddler Alex Jones Melts Down: The daily beast


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## teejk (Jan 19, 2011)

New poll shows root canals, cockroaches more popular than Congress


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## Howie (May 25, 2010)

@madts: I saw that exchange with Piers Morgan and I am firmly convinced that Jones has sniffed one too many empty shotgun shells. But….if I could find the petition to deport PM I'd sign that too.


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

*Ted Nugent unloads: Gun owners the next Rosa Parks*

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*Dutch official: Save H20, pee in shower*
AA EN HUNZE, Netherlands, Jan. 9 (UPI)-A local government official in the Netherlands is recommending people save money and resources by peeing in the shower.
Bert Wassink, a council member in the Drenthe municipality of Aa en Hunze, said residents can reduce water consumption by combining shower time with toilet time, DutchNews.nl reported Wednesday.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

DrDirt, I'm way ahead of the Dutch. I've been peeing in the shower for years and let me tell you it sure does "piss off" the wife.


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Doozies


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

WOMAN TRIES TO CHANGE CAT FOOD BRAND


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Oh my…where am I to get my sashimi when the tuna runs out?


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

This one sounds like some of those awsome *buy it now * Ebay prices


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Oldie but a goodie


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack


Mentally Ill Man Not In Mood To Gun Down Strangers, But Glad To Know That Option There If Needed


Ford: New F-150 Pickup Truck Capable Of Crushing A Big Turtle In One Go


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

On Huffington Post….

*Bill Clinton Named 'Father Of The Year' By National Father's Day Council *
Posted: 01/10/2013 11:37 am

I guess running around without pants…. screaming "Who's your Daddy" is ripe for an award?
Chelsea now 32 years old…. I am not sure what happened in 2012 for Bill to win this.


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

CHRISTIAN VS CHRISTIAN…Why?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

DaN, does Rick know he's a hunted man?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

not unless one of his Buddies tells 'em


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## cutworm (Oct 2, 2010)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Oh, puh-leeze…Harvey Milk International Airport?


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I'm guessing the US is the only country in the world that let's their kids play violent video games.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Do use a spoon or fork?


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Gun Found in 7-Year-Old's Backpack at Queens School
By MARC SANTORA and CHRISTOPHER MAAG
Published: January 17, 2013

A handgun was found in the backpack of a 7-year-old student at a public elementary school in Queens on Thursday morning, New York City officials said, leading to a tense few hours as the school was placed on lockdown while the police made sure there was no danger.
Connect with NYTMetro

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The police declined to say why the child, a second grader, was carrying a .22-caliber handgun or how it had been discovered. It was not fired at the school, Wave Preparatory Elementary School in Far Rockaway, they said.

Students there described a nervous few hours that began when the principal went on the intercom to say that the school was being locked down and that they were to remain in their classrooms.

"I thought we were going to get killed," said Javier Ferrufino, an 11-year-old in fifth grade. "We went to the back of the classroom. I hid with my friend behind some computers."

Officials at the school declined to comment.

The city's Education Department released a statement confirming that a gun had been found in the backpack of a second-grader and that the school had been locked down, but it did not provide further details.

When parents arrived in the afternoon to pick up their children, more than a dozen police officers were still at the school.

A notice given to parents said: "Due to an incident today there was need to secure all students in their classrooms. This procedure is called a lockdown. Our school-based support team is prepared to assist you with any emotional needs as a result of today's lockdown."

Giovanni Dennis, an 8-year-old third grader, said he hid under his teacher's desk after the principal announced the lockdown.

His mother, Cecelia Dennis, said she was upset that she did not know about the lockdown until she arrived to get Giovanni.

"I think they did a good job of locking down the school," she said. "But they could have notified the parents earlier. I am very upset."


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## JollyGreen67 (Nov 1, 2010)

I'm glad I am not the only nut case around here.


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## muleskinner (Sep 24, 2011)

Today is Gun Appreciation Day


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*Hey DKV, why the blank expression?*

Actually, a lot of headlines cause me to have a blank stare too! Sometimes I wonder if the newspapers are trying to be real cute or if they don't really understand what they wrote!


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

Here is another example of poorly contrived headlines!










And this one too!










And finally!










*What's up with these news people!*


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

!







!


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

​


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Program DNA, load up a syringe, give it a skull shot, instant genius. Evolution at it's best. Ya gotta luv it…


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*OK?!*


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Oldnovice, ok to which one?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

​


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*DKV*, OK?! to the Adonis statue "lover"!

Don't know what to make of that … I guess to each his own? What else can you say and/or think?

*If she does it with underage statues is that statutory rape?*


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

For those Etsy folks…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

That boy needs a manssiere or bro (from Seinfeld)!


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

This is disturbing










http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/north-korean-cannibalism-fears-amid-claims-starving-people-forced-to-desperate-measures-8468781.html


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

The ONLY difference between an AR-15, and an M16/M-4 is in the selector switch. Switch out these between the two, to make an AR-15 FULLY AUTOMATIC. Easy as can be. (BTDT)


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Good for them…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

One way ticket to hell…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Sweet couple…She should have shaved..


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

It is about time…How many pot smokers are here?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

I'll never tell Bud…. but to each his own.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

This brings a whole new meaning to the term "eat ********************".


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

*
bacteria ...*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_bacteriotherapy


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*Dan, what a ********************ty picture!*


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

How do they know? I mean, how does someone even think of that? Is it like, oh, I know, I'll put a bit this guy's poo up that other guy's bum?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*DKV*, one of my wife's friends had an intestinal issue that was solved by that means as nothing else worked!


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Bachmann and intelligence should never be used in the same sentence.


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

Couldn't agree with you more.


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*Ditto DaN and DKV, something we can all agree on!*


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

There's a convent in my little village. I think they are down to four nuns, the youngest must be about 80. Not one of them looks like Julie Andrews. Like everything in life, there are good nuns and bad nuns, and downright evil nuns.
Imagine standing over a seven year old girl brandishing a pair of scissors and threatening to cut off a thumb if it is seen to be sucked again. Just one of my wife's experiences growing up in Ireland.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## Tony_S (Dec 16, 2009)

renners

My father went to Catholic residential school here in Canada along with one brother and three sisters.
The horror stories that man could tell! Till the day he died at 75, it was quite an emotional topic for him. One he wouldn't even discuss with most people.

He was left handed.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Tony, I'm convinced that some of the Nuns and Christian Brothers behaved in such a sadistic fashion because they were forced into that life and that sadism was borne from resentment. My wife's experience would have been in the late 70's, so not that long ago really. Her mother is left handed, was forced to write 'correctly' with her right hand.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Hawaii is happiest state…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Tracking the crime wave…


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

DKV the California archdiocese officials really must have believed they were … Holier-than-thou


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

DKV - interesting that the scale on the happiness tweets from Blue to Red, is a whole 5.9 - 6.15

Sooooo I suppose saying as an entire countrie we are pretty much a 6 +/- 0.1

Who wouldn't be happy living in Hawaii… if you're bummed out there, you may as well go ahead and end it all anyway.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Dr, we are a happy, privileged society. When compared to the rest of the world how can we not be happy. We take what we have for granted. We look at it as something we deserve. Something we were destined to be and have when born. Hell, even the poorest amongst us has it better than the majority of the world. BTW, I don't just mean money. We have it great physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Agree?


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

True -
Also in how we help eachother out… looking at Tornadoes and Sandy etc.

Mr Rogers famously said when he was descibing how to explain tragedies to children, that when he was a boy and saw horror on the new, his mom always told him to look at all the helpers… knowing that even when it hits the fan, there are a lot of charitable folks that will lend a hand to those in need.

One of the quotes I have posted on my corkboard…. from a Jimmy Johns Sandwich shop poster - - 
-I Believe… that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Sorry for a momentary Hijack - - We are closing up shop here for the day as the storm is bearing down on the midwest… Some Thoughts:

-I Believe… that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
-I Believe… that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you once in a while, and you're going to have to forgive them for that.
-I Believe… that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
-I Believe… that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
-I Believe… that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
-I Believe… that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
-I Believe… that you can keep going long after you can't.
-I Believe… that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
-I Believe… that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be something else to take its place.
-I Believe… that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
-I Believe… that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
-I Believe… that my best friend and I can do anything and nothing and have the best time.
-I Believe… that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
-I Believe… that sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
-I Believe… that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
-I Believe… that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthday's you've celebrated.
-I Believe… that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
-I Believe… that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
-I Believe… that just because two people argue doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue doesn't mean they do.
-I Believe… that no matter how badly your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. 
-I Believe… that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
-I Believe…that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
-I Believe… that that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
-I Believe… that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
-I Believe… that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
-I Believe… that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
-I Believe… that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

On the whole, people are kind and decent. But, there are those among us that are evil, evil, evil. Some are even in disguise…


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Like decepticons?


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

California Highway Patrol now has this thing called Silver Alert. Something like Amber but different.










Ya gotta figure this is very, very cool. Drop your parents off at the park in the morning and call them in as missing in the evening.


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*The Dr. Is in and he has made the proper diagnosis!*

Well stated DrDirt!


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The crime investigation moves on…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

GREAT IDEA!


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

This is even related to woodworking:
Horse Meat In Ikea's Swedish Meatballs, Czech Authorities Say


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The church can act quickly if they want.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The plot thickens…


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