# Busted



## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

My wife busted me last night looking at forbidden material. I innocently told her that I was reading the articles and she somewhat pointedly told me that the new Lee-Valley/Veritas catalog does not have articles and that I was up to something with all the the dogeared pages. I guess that any mystery packages that show up at our door will only make it worse …I guess I better stop digging the whole I am in before I get completely buried.

Oh well, I can always fantasize, can't I?


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

make stuff for her and the kids

then the tools 
and the catalogs
will have some respect

but don't be surprised

when they come to you
with their own catalogs

and ask you to build things from them


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## superstretch (Jan 10, 2011)

+1 to what Patron said. When my wife found out she could have a nice bed frame, I was surprised to found out how much money she allotted for my upcoming tool and wood purchases


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## Manitario (Jul 4, 2010)

man Greg, you made me laugh out loud with this. I've spent the last week reading the new LV catalogue in bed by headlight…haven't dogeared the pages but made several mental lists!


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## patcollins (Jul 22, 2010)

Next time hide it in the middle of a playboy.


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## BarbS (Mar 20, 2007)

Lee Valley is one of the best Dream Catalogs around! Start sharing the Gardening catalog, too, maybe then she'll understand you better!


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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

I'm a straight man who likes to cook and garden. Go figure. That LV gardening catalog is as sinful as the tool catalog.


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## mafe (Dec 10, 2009)

Laughing here, big time.
For me it is Ebay, if I look there I am in trouble with the GF.


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## learnin2do (Aug 5, 2010)

oh, great!!! I've never heard of it…now i have…I'm too broke to find out about goodie magazines!


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## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

@Patron and Dan-I'll have to give that a try. I did install trim in a room once and needed a new nail gun. Perhaps, I should be more creative in my thinking.

@Rob-I really envy Canadians because of Lee Valley. Unfortunately, my wife won't consider a move north. She does not handle the cold very well.

@Pat-It would be easier for me to survive the delivery of a brand new Unisaw than one peek at at Playboy. I'll just stick with Lee Valley.

@Barb-I am not sure that a gardening catalog would help my wife understand me. I think that she gave up years ago. However, our two little boys are doing more on that front than any book or expert.

@Al-I like to cook and garden as well, but I am a bit off center. Do I still get to keep my man card?

@ Mads-I am in the same boat with ebay. Fortunately, my last purchase was only $10.50 for a nearly complete Stanley 78 so I didn't get too much grief. I haven't told my wife that I just have to have a fence a fence …

@ Christine-lee valley has great products and I really enjoy flipping though their catalogs.

Thanks for all the suggestions and support. I knew I could count on Lumberjocks to understand!


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## SSMDad (Apr 17, 2011)

haha always the same here with me and the wife too.  No matter what the catalog I get scolded and told I don't need anything. She really flips when I go to CL or eBay. lol Oh well, gotta have something to annoy them with. At least we don't look at Prada, Gucci, Coach, and Luis Vuitton.


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## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

You guys crack me up. You have to hide the catalogs inside a comic book. Yes, you'll get a high brow sneer about the reading material, but that's about it.

I personally don't read comic books though, it's just a suggestion. I have no worries about getting caught looking through a woodworking catalog. My wife easily spends 5X on her quilting than I spend on woodworking including what I spend on the tools. I've seen the receipts. You may not believe what that cloth costs. It's up there with rosewood! And most of my wood working ends up used in the house, anyway. Even so, she has the nerve to call my tools toys. Her sewing machine alone cost more than every mechanic tool I own, including the tool boxes, and I used to earn a living at it.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Tool porn. Oh, the shame.


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## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

@ Atom, can you have your wife send me quilt? That might mollify my wife ….

@ Charlie, acceptance is the first step. Yes Lumberjocks, I like to look at tool porn. Lots of it. Big tools, little tools, power tools, hand tools, everything. I really can't stop. I really don't want to.


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## tom427cid (Aug 21, 2011)

After decades of reading"unauthorized material" I have tried to quit-something about old habits.lol
Yes I still read,but now my eyes don't cloud over thinking about things I don't have-so there is hope!
Not to mention that my list of"gotta haves" is pretty small-take comfort the disease does diminish.
tom


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I would work on my memory and quit dog earing those pages ;-))


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

as David say make project´s for them or start on the honey to do list 
and in no time you will have a big tool collection …...
why … every new project demand a new tool ….. simply a naturel law 
if she don´t get it … then just make a math formel like E=m2 in the Einstein catagory
and say he proofed it …... LOL
but don´t get busted on that one ….... LOL

take care
Dennis


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## redryder (Nov 28, 2009)

I keep mine under the mattress….......


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## cloakie1 (May 29, 2011)

just reading through these comments makes me laugh but as an avid reader of workshop porn myself i completely understand. but one thing i have noticed on most of these posts is that we are all in the same boat, always in the crap….it's just the depth that varys
i get my online purchases sent to work, i find it much easier to sneak them into the workshop cos i park the wagon right beside the door and cos it's a large car the door is concealed…perfect cover for sneaking in contraband.


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## mafe (Dec 10, 2009)

My girlfriend is French and since I love old tools of course I bought a few in France, this meant that it was delivered at her work… So I was not always popular when she had to carry home 12 kilos of old draw knifes or two metal leg wises that looked when wrapped like two machine guns… But even she always said Madsssss, she did smile, so I guess it is me with me at the end. Since we don't live together she luckily don't see it all happen I must admit.


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## racerglen (Oct 15, 2010)

Oh, and Lee Valley's got free shipping until the 26th…


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## Flyin636 (Jul 29, 2011)

Wifey here has developed her "spidey sense" enough that she knows sumthins brewing(equip'ly speaking)even without having to see tool/equip catalogs laying around.30 years of marrige "bliss" isn't without pitfalls?636


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## chrisstef (Mar 3, 2010)

I keep my tool porn underneath the bathroom sink for quiet, uninterupted reading. Wife wants a kitchen remodel, walnut countertops, im thinkin id need a new jointer.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

@cloakie1: The best thing that ever happened to my marriage was separate incomes and separate checking accounts. Like you, I have my purchases shipped to work. I don't flat out lie about it… we both agree that once financial obligations are met we each have the right to do what we want with our money. But keeping my toy purchases somewhat under the radar seems to make for smoother sailing.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Rumor has it that they will soon be carrying some of the major power tools such as:

++PornStop Tablesaws

++PornOmatic Drill Presses, Jointers etc.

++Pornley Hand Planes

BTW, I bet you could talk the wife into a brand NEW PornStop TS.

*;-)*


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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

^yeah, their garden stuff is the best around. TFWW and the Japanese guys have some nice stuff too. 
Does the PornStop tablesaw stop on any flesh or just….


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

John Bobbitt's wife bought the first one, so you will need to ask her.


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## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

I really like the quote (to paraphrase) "when I die, I hope my wife doesn't sell my tools for what I told her I paid for them" and would love to put it on my tag line. However, if my wife ever saw it, my interrogation would make Guantanamo Bay look like Club Med. My wife missed her calling, she could make anyone crack under cross examination.


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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

I have dreams about being busted for stuff I didn't do by my fiance'. I had a dream the other night that I discovered $80 in my wallet (more than I've had in my wallet in the last year and 1/2); I was trying to figure out how to get rid of it before she found it. I also dreamed that I was about to smoke a fine Cuban cigar with a friend when it dawned on me that she would smell it on me. And this is in my DREAMS!


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## KentS (May 27, 2009)

I hide my catalogs in the middle of her cookbooks. She will never find them there!


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## superstretch (Jan 10, 2011)

@Bertha - Pre wedding jitters? BTW, I'm snagging a newish Delta tenoning jig for $40. When I asked my wife about it last night, she went off on a tirade, then asked how much it was.. Then she chuckled and said she'd deduct it from my Christmas gift.

Which reminds me of something-
The best gift a girl can get her guy: permission to buy something. Especially if the checking account is joint, what difference does it make?


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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

Mine's got all kinds of scams worked out through the credit card. Discover for this; Chase for that; only link THROUGH the CC company's site for this; free shipping with this, miles with that, etc.

I'm usually not in trouble for the BUYING; it's more the method.


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## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

@ Kent-Ouch, you better not let your wife see that comment, or you'll be toast.

@Berta-the best thing that I have learned in my short marriage (11 years and counting) is the two simple words "yes, dear." It avoids a lot of friction and grief and I highly recommend it.


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## cloakie1 (May 29, 2011)

yes dear is the best saying of the lot i reckon….but you just have to be careful how you say it…sarcasm is alive and well in this house so the tone of yes dear is very important unless i want to sleep on the couch


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## bobkberg (Dec 26, 2009)

I have said this before, but it bears repeating under the circumstances.

I built my wife a better house than we could afford to buy - So she does not question my tool purchases.


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