# "Massacre" Through Tenons



## SixPants (Jan 24, 2015)

I think we've all had enough of perfect joinery. As a newbie, I've decided to blaze a new path - "Massacre Joinery."










See example A: These expertly executed through tenons. Note how the "failure" of pieces to actually join creates zones for airflow. Do you know how hard it is to create those precise gaps? You don't.










See the massive chip out? Not me. I see strategic flex points. Things that don't bend break, right?










Note how the pieces join at a 80 degree angle? Strategic again. It would take extensive math to explain it and, frankly, you still wouldn't understand.

So please, sit back and be awestruck with not only my very first but arguable the most ideal through tenons you're ever going to witness. Forgive my lack of humility but it's quite obvious my skills are superior to everyone and anyone who has ever posted on the Internet. Ever.

If you would like a video tutorial on Massacre Joinery, it's coming. I'm in talks with a producer now.


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## lateralus819 (Mar 24, 2013)

Bravo sir. This is hilarious and gave me a good chuckle!

The air flow zones are key! Not enough joinery allows for airflow.


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## vikingcape (Jan 3, 2013)

That was really funny! Thanks for the laugh


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## Buckethead (Apr 14, 2013)

That white pine is very difficult to achieve exposed joinery on. It's amazing how you executed these to your satisfaction.

I did a trial run on my first dovetails in white pine and I was not as pleased as you seem to be. I went to a big box store and bought a single piece of red oak which served my second attempt much better. Simply stated, the corners you create stay more intact when using hardwood.


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## NoThanks (Mar 19, 2014)

Dude, this is over the top.
You need to dull your tools a little bit, and get you some cheap plastic layout tools.
You keep posting this type of work and everybody will be too intimidated to post pictures of their projects.
Carry on, it's all downhill from here.


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## Ghidrah (Jan 20, 2015)

When I grow up I want to do it like that. Will you be giving classes?


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## gcsdad (Dec 28, 2014)

Nice. That's awesome. Gotta have a good sense of humor!


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## gfadvm (Jan 13, 2011)

Now, the challenge is to make exact duplicates!


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## ElChe (Sep 28, 2014)

You done good son. Send it to Fine Woodworking asap.


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## ChuckC (May 13, 2010)

My only critique to this otherwise pristine specimen would be that the angle should have been 78 degrees, not 80. What a newbie …


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## Randy_ATX (Sep 18, 2011)

Mind sharing the sketchup on this one?


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## j1212t (Dec 7, 2013)

> Note how the pieces join at a 80 degree angle? Strategic again. It would take extensive math to explain it and, frankly, you still wouldn t understand.
> - SixPants


That was freakin' hilarious, thanks for the great chuckle! And I agree as previously stated - replictaing the joint is what's going to be the key difficulty here.


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## SixPants (Jan 24, 2015)

I'm perplexed how this is perceived as amusing? It renders your thousands of hours of experience and thousands of dollars of tools utterly irrelevant. Seriously. Why do you try?

- - -

In seriousness, I thought I was being smart getting cheap wood to practice on. In my mind it's a little bench - cherry top and shoe shelf, maple elsewhere. Kinda of expensive stuff to learn on.

I love the pocket hole jig but really want to execute "proper" joiints. Hence this experiment.

I didn't realize this white pine stuff was very much like an ice cream cone on the inside. No exaggeration - the loose flaky grain makes sounds like i'm eating it.

Say… there's an idea… gnawed through tenons. I'll be back.


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## Tony_S (Dec 16, 2009)

Pine 1×8's? Russell….is that you?

Meh….throw a coat of paint on it and call it good.

It's find it's difficult to capture both texture and angulation in one shot, but you nailed it. There's always room for improvement though. If you'd thrown in a gap…or two(ventilation) So big you could read a book through it….WIN!!

I can be a real plywood whore though, so take it for what it's worth.


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## HornedWoodwork (Jan 28, 2015)

Wow I have at least 5 good attempts on display in my shop, the wall of shame I calls it. Nothing comes close to this though. 80 degree angles are my bread and butter though.


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## bobro (Oct 24, 2014)

Fast-growing "super-tree" pine (spruce, hemlock, what have you) "big box" lumber is a nightmare to do joinery in, give me a rock-hard tropical hardwood any day.

That being said, you can get some pretty darn clean joints even out of that stuff. Sharpness of the tools is obvious, but it's more than that: you have to delineate everything both sides with clean stop cuts. For example, if you're chopping out a mortise, it will blow out unless you have the backside already cleanly chiseled around, and backed with sacrifical stock. Also, you can't "crowbar" stuff out like you can with cherry or walnut: just like with the hardest woods, you have to continually chop into a distinct stop.


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## jacquesr (Jul 3, 2014)

I can't wait for the prequel "Eat your dove, tail!"


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## kwolfe (Feb 12, 2014)

Slather that bad boy in wood filler, paint and you are good to good. If you can't see it, it's perfect!


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## Rivercitykenb (Jan 26, 2015)

Man, those are good. I might have to add the 1st attempt at dovetails I ever made. (about a month ago) also in pine, and equally glorious (horrific)


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## Andrewski (Sep 22, 2013)

Nice!

That's what an architect I worked with for several years would call "charming irregularities".


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## haskins (Jan 4, 2015)

I feel your pain.

We made a box joint jig for the router table And tested it on some pine. A little snug but It worked (tight joints are the goal right). The hardwood box we tried to make next produced results simillar to (not claiming as good as) yours. took a sharpie and wrote "softwood only" on the jig. Haven't touched it since.


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## ColonelTravis (Mar 19, 2013)

Bravo, sir.


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## Hermit (Oct 9, 2014)

Nothing a couple tubes of caulking won't fix.


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## ElChe (Sep 28, 2014)

Fixing? FIXING?!!?!? I bet Hermit is the kinda guy that would glue arms on the Venus de Milo. This is dysfunctional art. Oops meant functional.


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## NinjaAssassin (Sep 5, 2013)

I see you've been studying, grasshopper.



You are almost ready.


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## GregInMaryland (Mar 11, 2010)

We are indeed witnessing greatness. In generations to come, this will come to be seen as the pivotal moment in time where form, function and craftsmanship come together and form an inseparable troika.

Christopher Schwarz will soon be contacting you for publication rights.

Greg


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## MrRon (Jul 9, 2009)

Lots of Bondo and paint and your're good to go.


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## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

Whats all the fuss about ? I don't see anything wrong here,or even unusual about this everyday type of joinery.
I would have never bothered with needless joints what is wrong with roofing nails? or A$$ big head brass tacks and make a feature out of it. Making wood joints especially complicated ones like butt joints , can be so time consuming and look outdated *old technology*.Did Stradavarious use dovetails or mortice and tenons? NO he did not He simply used metal dowels and glue from the toupee shop.If it holds yer wig then it can be tuned to sound good, that was his company motto. Alistair


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## oltexasboy1 (Sep 25, 2013)

Funny but true. I have discovered as you point out ,cheap wood ain't always a pleasure to work with. I wondered for a long time why all my S#$t looked so ragged until I found hardwood. After years of making stuff out of pine trying to learn, what I learned, was that there is a reason people make so many "Rustic" items. If you are not a super duper, master blaster joiner your stuff is going to look like you used a dull tire tool to cut the joints. 
Good post ,I needed a dose of reality and a laugh this morning. 


> I m perplexed how this is perceived as amusing? It renders your thousands of hours of experience and thousands of dollars of tools utterly irrelevant. Seriously. Why do you try?
> 
> - - -
> 
> ...


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## crank49 (Apr 7, 2010)

Like they say, " A little caulk, a little paint, makes the carpenter what he ain't."


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