# How To Avoid Being Suspended From Lumberjocks.....some thoughts.................



## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

What a great Superbowl half time show ! Very enjoyable . In fact, I think I enjoyed that and the commercials more than the game itself. Just a few more millions of dollars and technical expertise and we will start to rival the truly spectacular events like the opening ceremony at the Beijing Olympic Games . Half time will half to be *much* longer though , with more music , and more Go Daddys ,and more Bud Light .

Football season is now over ,so there will be the usual separation anxiety for those of us addicted to Professional Football , as we ponder how to fill up the hours with some other activities ; those now lonely and vacant Sunday afternoons and Monday nights . Perhaps some will consider doing more woodworking .I had an unsane thought just a short while ago ,since now, with the absence of football I will have so much extra time for those extra thoughts . I have noticed that some have been suspended for a short while from Lumberjock.com recently . I was thinking of a way to avoid or eliminate these unfortunate events completely It would be nice if members who were having an issue with one another could simply send each other private messages instead of having all the public 'drama' in the forum. Thereby avoiding all those suspensions. I am fully aware that this idea will not be everyone's cup of tea . Many need a public 'venting' and I respect that. The logistics of everyone un-blocking everyone else may not be practical . The end of the Mayan long count calendar is only a few months away ,so time may play a factor.

Being a musician , I ,for one , would not mind a fellow member sending me a short Video-Gram expressing his or her thoughts on how I had inadvertently slandered or upset them over one thing or another . I would open my private message in-box and receive my video-gram , and then send an apology in a timely fashion .

As an example , I am including a video-gram below . Feel free to download it and send it to me in case I mess up and forget to use my own suggestion, because now that football season is over my brain will not be what it use to be now that I have so many more non-important unsane thoughts to fill it with . Thanks and best wishes ~Moment .

!



!


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

If You suspect that you are about to be suspended , please send me this Pic-Gram asap !
so that I can contact you !


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

*If you are a new member and simply wish to say hello , please send this..Thanks !*
!



!


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## Sodabowski (Aug 23, 2010)

Hahaha seriously, does that also happen here? I thought woodworkers were all adults 

> TROLL ALERT <


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## Porchfish (Jun 20, 2011)

Oh moment, you have been missed.
I too, am concerned about the passing of feetsball season ! What will happen to bud lite sales, and oh god what will happen to the corn dog market ? Ye gods ! And I am really worried about the over taxed local gendarmes who's numbers have been greatly diminished by our tea party generated cut backs on "gubmint" spending ! Now how are they supposed to deal with the explosion in the coming weekends of the annual increase in domestic dispute calls ? I guess we'll have to try and talk the local churches into picking up the slack by opening new battered spouse shelter annexes in their compounds ! I guess we could pray for the continuation of this mild weather and a rapid rise in interest for an early fishing season. Perchance there is a silver lining out there (Besides Willard's tax returns)! 
It is way , way , too early for an increase in woodworking shop productivity to take us through these difficult times. Still too cold in some of our environs. Besides ,we have cut back in ER personnel too (mo' wasteful "gubmint" spending alleviated) and probably would be inundated with sander burns, thumb stitchings etc. if we just jumped into shop time before we have been acclimated ! (post feetsball shock and reactive depressions effects can linger on, doncha know ?)
I knew nothing of the banning of LJ's ! This comes as a shock to me ! Who are the keepers of the golden attitude key ? Have I been banned without even noticing it. ? I have been too busy finishing up my kitchen to submit any new projects or forum questions ? .... How will I explain this to the children ….?

Well it is good to see you active my friend ! I hope you can avert the cravens and stay with us as long as you like. Please defer your 'occupy LJ's move until we at least find out who is sneaking through the underbrush looking for subversives. A list of the gatekeepers would be of assistance to those of us who are lacking in experience ! We don't want to respond to the wrong LJ member in a way that could be construed as threatening. We ALL need to know how to avoid the wrath of the righteous ! Me thinks we should consider not considering what condition our condition is in till our attitudes have been given the requisite 'nihil obstat' . Not knowing from whence problems may arise is burdensome for those of us who are blissfully ignorant O' the rising?
I didn't know you were a magician ? What instrument/s do you conjure ? See how much I has to learn ?
I didn't watch the Stupor Bowl, so I missed the reportedly maaaaavelous half time show. About the commercials, well I'm certain they will all surface during some friggin rerun of "Murrican Idol" ! 
Best of everything to you and kit and kin . Your North Florida friend, don s.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

"Me thinks we should consider not considering what condition our condition is in till our attitudes have been given the requisite 'nihil obstat' . "


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

If you are feeling football withdrawls and cannot get out of bed….have your wife come sing Soft kitty


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

FWIW, if you think posting openly on LJs is offensive, PMs are MUCH worse. For THAT very reason the only way to clean up your PM 'inbox' is to place a block on those with such limited vocabulary that they only speak in a series of four letter words. At least the open forum brings a modicum of civility, though even that needs some administrative assistance on occasion.

My 2-cents…


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

@ Mike , You just had to mention the word ' Block ' didn't you . That was not nice of you . I told you I was in

Withdrawal stage from Football . I don't need to be hearing words like 'block' , 'tackle' ,or ' passing situation' .

I sent a p.m. to Breznov , requesting that you be suspended until the next football season starts or at least

until I get out of rehab . I'm real tight with management , so you are surely history for a while ! Everything

you have posted up until now has been so nice , but you crossed the line this time !

There will be a couple of burly Czech gentlemen dressed in black suites and sunglasses showing

up at your residence soon to collect all your computers and stuff . Please cooperate with them . If not ,

a non-descript fairly nice guy will show up from the power company to discontinue your electrical service .

I am good friends with your town's Mayor , so believe me , just one phone call and it will happen .

You will be sitting in the dark eating cold beans , while I will be at rehab eating hot food and watching game

shows in the T.V. lounge ! Sorry I had to do this , but you will probably thank me later. After all ,

It's for my own good , and that's what's important . I'm sure we will put this behind us when you

return from your ban in the fall . Sincerly …Moment


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

Dear Don ,

As I sit here in the T.V. lounge at rehab, using the community computer, just outside of Malibu , I am reminded of what is important in life.

Well it's not really a 'community ' computer at the moment , because the rest of the ' guests '

are so zombied out that there is no way they would be able to type . I , on the other hand ,

Have been hiding my drugs under my tounge and then spitting them out when the nurse leaves .

I'm not taking unidentifiable drugs and tuning into a zombie . At least , the kind of zombie they expect.

Besides , I have my own drugs out in the car and I don't want to be impaired when I try and sneak out

to retrieve them . I keep telling the staff that I am only here for football withdrawal , but they just

give me strange looks and say " Of course you are , you're going to be fine!" But then I hear them

laughing and snickering in the hall . They are not fooling me for a minute , because all the sports

channels are missing on the cable !

I have only been here for a few hours and it is kinda rough . there was no one at the pool when

when i went for a swim , and the lobster they served at lunch was rubbery, and the only wine they

have is moscato , yuuk .

I read what you wrote above , and was laughing very loud . Apparently , this is unusual

behavior for rehab , so the attendant immediately brought me more drugs . This is serious ,Don , you are

going to have to tone it way down and not be writing such funny stuff , They are already suspicious

of my antics , and you are not helping . I am a little stressed out . Please try to be less funny until

I can make it out to the car later . Thanks Don . I will send you an e-mail later .

Well , I guess I will gently push one of the zombies out of his chair onto the floor so I can sit

and relax and change the channel to 'Adult Swim ' . To my other LJ friends , please

don't post funny stuff for a while . If you receive the Pic-Gram( illustrated below) in your in box from me ,

It's a reminder not to be too funny . Pretty self explanatory , thanks . Carpe Crinis !


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Well the Giants did a FINE job BLOCKING passes. Why are you punishing ME. That Brady character is the one who NEEDS grounded, er uh, after all HE was intentionally grounding the ball on the Saints very FIRST offensive play. Ground Brady, NOT me!


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

The Saints FIRST Play???
What game were you watching?
I saw the Giants and Patriots play


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Perhaps this would be a golden opportunity for the site operators to introduce a kind of automated 'singing telegram' service, adding a lighthearted dimension to forum debates and instant messages.

*A few examples:*

Someone posts a project, tiger maple table in the style of Queen Anne

Because you admire it so much, you send a few bars of *Mud
*
That's right, that's right,
That's right, that's right,
I really love those tiger feet

Something else catches your eye:

Send a little blast of *Blur*

'You're so great'

You disagree over which TiteBond to use for a given application:

Something by *Guns'n'Roses* perhaps,

"You know you're crazy, oh yeah, you know you're crazy"

*Heated debate in the NSTF*,

Something from *Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention* should fit the bill,

"You think you know everything,
but you don't…" 
from "The Idiot Bastard Son"

"I just can't believe 
You are such a fool 
I just can't believe 
You are such a fool" 
from "Son of Orange County"

The potential is endless, I didn't even get to *Green Day* "F O D" or *Beck*'s "Motherf&cker"


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Yeah Dirt, I guess THAT is how much I care for the er uh Old English Patriots (the ones who failed to respond to Katrina).

*;-))*


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

I used to date Katrina , she was a waitress on Bourbon street , but that's another story…literally.

@ renners , funny stuff ! Why didn't i think of that…..clever . would be a good feature .


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

What a wasted thread!!!!!!!!!


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

Thanks oldnovice , I'm putting you on my buddy list as soon as you upload

a goofy picture into your buddy icon , or any picture , those monotone overalls give me the willys .


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

speaking of Willy's, this one's for you moment


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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

I still love the Saints. There's just not enough drugs, booze, and hookers with other teams.


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

One of my favorite movies . thanks .


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

Well , this is my second full day at rehab for football withdrawal , as I'm sure you know .

I would like to thank you all for your

continuing support . It means a lot . Being a sports addict is

not a laughing matter . I have high hopes of beating this addiction and I am being treated by the most qualified

professionals that money can buy . I just want to share some photos with you from my stay here at rehab

so that you will know that I am OK and will be back to my normal self in a few weeks . No one wants to spend

time in a drab place like rehab , but sometimes it is for the best . I took these pictures on my cell, so

the quality is not that good so bare with me . When I arrived at reception and checked in , the first

thing i notice was this sign . I was a bit startled upon seeing it , but then I realized that it was very

reassuring , in it's own way …....










After checking in I was shown to my room by Dr. Chow . He seemed like a very nice guy and explained

some of the rules and procedures of the facility and the schedules I would be on. He gave me an

orientation package that contained some papers and explained that I should read them carefully .

He then proceeded to give me some preliminary tests that , I guess had something to do with

my addiction . He gave me one test that totally confused me He called it the five finger test .

I grabbed my cell phone a took a shot of the tests so that I might study them later ,with his permission.

He held up his hand and said " how many fingers am I holding up ?" I hesitated , believing that it

was a trick question , so I said nothing . He laughed and said " don't worry , no one gets it right

the first time ." He left , and I still haven't figured out what the hell he meant ! Can you ?










I sat there in the sterile unfamiliar surrounding , I felt cold , I slowly started reading the orientation

package and realized that there were several people here for sports addiction . I read and studied

the pages carefully . Most of it was pretty cut and dry , but I ran across a few things that seemed out of

place and inappropriate for my condition . Well, they are the pros , so I will have to trust them .

I wanted to share them with you . Do these seem normal for orientation ?




























Dr. Chow returned to my room earlier than I had expected ,to take me on a personal tour of

the Facility . He waited patiently in my bathroom while I finished getting dressed . I snapped

This casual shot . I was curious to see the rest of the campus .










We first stopped at one of the several 'wellness centers ' that are located on each floor .

Dr. Chow explained that he believed firmly that ' looking good ' was a big part of 'feeling good ' !










Next , He showed me the Doctors Lounge , where the medical staff could meet and discuss

their caseloads and hold informal meetings after an arduous and very focused shift . He pointed out that there

were quarters in back for the ' on call ' staff ' so that they could be available 24/7 . I remarked that

that was very reassuring , and he smiled .









Next stop was the dining room where , as Dr. Chow explained , All the patients dined . The only

exception being breakfast , where many guests preferred to order room service , which was available

until 10:00 am .










Well, that was the end of the formal tour and Dr. Chow took his leave . He urged me to walk around the

the campus and become more familiar with things on my own. We shook hands and he assured me

that as the days progressed I would think less and less of sports , and would be in recovery before

very long . I was dying for a cigg by this time so I stopped a genial attendant and asked where

the smoking area was and she was kind enough to take me there . It was good to be outside on

a sunny afternoon . Here's a snapshot of the designated smoking area :









This morning I attended my first encounter group for sports addicts . Being new I did not participate

that much. Here is a snapshot of one of the therapists consoling a fellow group member , and trying

to persuade him that " Hockey isn't that big of a deal " .










That group session was stressful . I was glad that I had a scheduled hydo-therapy next ,before lunch.

Here is the hydro room on my floor :










There are a lot of celebrities here . I read in the orientation package that we were not to photograph

celebs , but I was sitting in the smoking area and began a casual conversatin with Ke$sha . and I forgot .

Things were going well until she realized I was taking her picture ! She began punching and

and kicking me and trying to take my phone . Luckily an attendant tackled and sedated her

before it got out of hand . She must have been having a bad morning !










After lunch , it was time to go to the Nurses Station and take all my medications .

I believe it is round so that none of the more serious guests can sneak up behind them !!










Next , It's time for to head to the T.V. lounge and watch some shows , and try to forget

about the absence of football . The meds certainly help .










I had only one class scheduled before dinner and it was Aroma Therapy class . I think I liked it OK.

Here's a shot of my therapist , can you see her ? I can almost make her out .










Well, by 5:00 pm I was pretty zombied out so it was time to head back down the hall…...










Stopped to take a pic of Tiffany , I met her yesterday . She doesn't say much . Her door is

always open , and she always seems to just be sitting in front of the big screen watching an

aquarium loop . strange ….maybe it's part of her therapy….who the heck knows around

this place !










Here is a shot of my bedroom . It's very uncomfortable sleeping in a strange bed . The decor is not

bare bones ,but it does lack a lot of amenities that I am used to . I will just have to tough it out

and make do . After all it's just rehab ! Think I'm going to get some well needed rest now, it's been

a grueling day .










Hey , they put another computer in my room , cool . goodnight . keep in touch !










.

.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

"...He then proceeded to give me some preliminary tests that , I guess had something to do with
my addiction . He gave me one test that totally confused me He called it the five finger test …."

*JUST STOP IT!*


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)




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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

That's one helluva smoking area.


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

Sporsts adiscts r summ belavaa smockers . plez flyy yur leer jet outand cun getme , Al thnxxx


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## Bertha (Jan 10, 2011)

I'll be right over to pick you up!


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

thnxxxxxx huryyyy !!


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Telegram for Mr Moment


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

*Have you seen that Pozidrive No. 3 bit ? It's about this long .*


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Touché!


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

friendly fencing !


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

As a musician and recovering sportaholic, you'll appreciate this

(hope it doesn't send you over the edge)


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## S4S (Jan 22, 2011)

no. that was pretty mild . contained no ( ft ball )

Do you like tractor tire lifting ?


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