# ONLY IN AMERICA! Spread  > the Stupidity



## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

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Only  >in America …...do  >drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store  >to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes  >at the front.

 > Only  >in America …..do people order double cheeseburgers,  >large fries, and a diet coke.
 >

 >  > Only in America  > ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain  >the pens to the counters..
 >

 >  > Only in America  > ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the  >driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
 >

 >  > Only in America  >.........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in  >packages of eight..  >
 >

 >  > Only in America  > .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
 >

 >  > EVER WONDER . >  > Why  >the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our  > skin?
 >

 >  > Why  >can't women put  > on mascara with their mouth closed?
 >

 >  > Why don't you ever see  >the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
 >

 >
 >  > Why is 'abbreviated' such  >a long word?
 >

 >  > Why is it that doctors  >call what they do 'practice'?
 >

 >  > Why is lemon juice made  >with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
 >

 >  > Why is the man who invests  >all your money called a broker?
 >

 >  > Why is the time of day  >with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
 >

 >  > Why isn't there mouse-flavored  >cat food?
 >

 >  > Why didn't Noah swat those  >two mosquitoes?
 >
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 >  > Why do they sterilize the needle  >for lethal injections?
 >

 >  > You know that indestructible  >black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole  >plane out of that stuff?!
 >

 >  > Why don't sheep shrink  >when it rains?
 >

 >  >  > Why are they called apartments  >when they are all stuck together?
 >

 >
 >
 >
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 > I  >like this one!!! > If  >con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
 >

 >  > If flying is so safe, why  > do they call the airport the terminal?

Spread  > the Stupidity!*


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## wmodavis (Aug 28, 2007)

Thanks for those tidbits. Good chuckles there. Could have been titled "Ever Wonder Why…"


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## jbertelson (Sep 26, 2009)

I have some complaints…............(-:

Practice makes perfect….............

And I like Diet Coke better than regular, so yes, that could be something I would order…......I may be dumb, but I am not stupid…...........(-:

Have a good one, thanks for the laugh…....

Jim


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## daltxguy (Sep 7, 2007)

My car is useless junk and the stuff in my garage is worth thousands - that's why the car stays out of the garage. ( I think I even washed that car…once)


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## jbertelson (Sep 26, 2009)

I am totally green when it comes to my car….......I let the rain wash it…............(-:


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## Artist (Feb 10, 2007)

Loved them all.


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## ksSlim (Jun 27, 2010)

Ignorance is curable through education and experience, stupidity is terminal.
Thanks for helping us think and chuckle.


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## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

*Jim!*
We don't have to wash cars here, they just rust away.


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## rivergirl (Aug 18, 2010)

Only in America do millions of people own their own homes, with lawns and yes, garages overflowing with superflous junk. Only in America can you experience tropical heat, beaches, oceans, mountains, snow, deserts, prairies all under one flag. Only in American can you drive for miles and miles and miles and miles and still be viewing the same continuous field of wheat, or corn, or oats. Only in America can you eat Chinese, Japanese, Italian, French, Indian cuisine all in the same week. Only in America!


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## Gregn (Mar 26, 2010)

Only in America do you go to fast food places to pay for your food first and then wait to be served slop.


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## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

I like those responses, I think I'll change the title of this thread.


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## jbertelson (Sep 26, 2009)

You know, if they made cars out of that steel that protects itself with a thin coat of rust, they made highway lamp posts out of it, then we would never have to paint them or wash them. Take some scouring powder to it if it got out of hands….........(-: And remember the stainless steel DeLorian?

Jim


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## LeeJ (Jul 4, 2007)

Very amusing, Dick.

Lee


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## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

The *DeLorian* was a great concept, but it ended up in about the same dilemma as the *Tucker* did, back in 1948.


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

now I know why they say that the old world (europe) is such a blessing to live in…..LOL

thank´s for the laugh

take care
Dennis


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## Raspar (Oct 12, 2009)

Gregn, would you pay for it after you ate it? LOL Thanks for the chuckles, I needed that today.


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## helluvawreck (Jul 21, 2010)

Those are all real good.


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## Maclegno (Jan 6, 2010)

Only in Scotland do we have Deep-fried MARS Bars. (Honestly! this is NOT a joke).
Gerard


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## rivergirl (Aug 18, 2010)

Mac- Wow- what do they coat the Mars bars with to keep the chocolate from melting? We have deep fried pickles.


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## Maclegno (Jan 6, 2010)

Rivergirl: I think they coat it with batter like a fritter, I now live in Italy so I'm not very uptodate with the latest Culture LOL
Gerard

PS you have a lovely home, but are you sure the ladder is Mission?


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## OttoH (Feb 27, 2010)

Not to turn political, but there is a campaign going on in Oklahoma with billboards and a lot of hand written signs in Mom and Pop establishments that fits in this posting

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out


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## reggiek (Jun 12, 2009)

Silly stuff, but we laugh at it because it is true - the best comedians make fun of these things. We humans have worked hard to make nature's laws not applicable to us….in nature…if you are stupid…you get eaten by the smarter predator….so there are very few stupid animals left to breed…not so in human kind…why else would we require safety warnings and rules meant for morons - "don't use a match to check levels in gasoline cans and tanks", "don't put live animals in microwave ovens".... the list is endless - yet they have to put these warnings on because the fools keep doing the most idiotic things…..and the comedians continue to have mountains of material.


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## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

*Only in America!*

I just seen on TV the other day, were they have deep fried beer.

It's made like ravioli's filled with beer.


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## jockmike2 (Oct 10, 2006)

You got that right Dick only in America. YOU DON'T HEAR OF OTHER COUNTRIES HAVING PROBLEMS WITH ILLEGAL ALIENS SNEAKING INTO THEIR COUNTRIES. IF THEY DID THEY WOULD PROBABLY GET SHOT IS WHY.


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## bobkberg (Dec 26, 2009)

Not to get too political, but remember Will Rogers - Among many other things, he said:

I don't tell jokes - I just watch the government and report the facts

I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.


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## Grumpy (Nov 9, 2007)

Too many why's there for me Dick.


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