# Jokes in the woodshop



## Justin1110 (Apr 9, 2010)

Let me start off by saying that I do not encourage dangerous pranks in the shop. I am simply just wondering if you have ever pulled a "harmless" joke in the shop when someone new comes in or if you ever had one pulled on yourself? For example asking them to find the wood stretcher or to stain a door natural stain. I wasn't ever asked to find something like the wood stretcher but I've heard of a few storys where someone in a shop will tell a new employee to ask the boss for the natural stain.


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

what about the smoke-turner
and a bucketfull of those punch-dots (the Danish name is kørnerprikker)
the woodstrecher I think is known worldwide
the wood strecher is posted somewhere on L J 

in the older days when they used this cloth that was pulled appart and was one big
bag of cotton waste / twist that they use to sort of cleaning there hands from oil and grease
in the garageshops if one have such a handfull hanging
out of the backpocket you cuold bee sure that after a while someone set fire to it
very funny to look at but allso little too dangerus I think

Dennis


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## Justin1110 (Apr 9, 2010)

ya the wood stretcher is well known by just about anyone that deals with wood. Wouldn't mind finding that wood stretcher that someone posted on here, i could really use one right about now.  I gotta say that it would be funny to see someone trying to put out the fire but its so dangerous with all the chemicals and flammable material in a cabinet shop i wouldn't dare try that lol


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

its the same in a garage shop
and its realy the one who being joked that has to take out the fire
but every one was warrent not to have twist like that in the first place 
becourse its look awefull and is too dangerus beside if its full of grease and 
you have forget it is there and take a costummers car out …OH BOY you
are in trubble

Dennis


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

find a sky hook

board stretcher

pull the pin on the dust bag so when they turn it on it goes "Boom Dust"

loosen the lid on the glue bottle

nail their clipboard to the bench

punch tiny holes under the rim of their starbucks paper coffee cup

screw the bathroom door shut

wait till they climb in the job site "Johnny on the spot" then drive the folklift so that ot blocks the door.

screw their work boots to the floor

a bucket of fine saw dust in the back seat of their car on a hot summer day

boys will be boys


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## Gregn (Mar 26, 2010)

Jokes in the shop of that nature are common. I can't begin to tell you how many people I've sent off on a wild goose chase looking for a copper magnet. Another thing I enjoyed doing to people when I worked in the warehouse was to send them looking for shelf wedging. When I worked in the metal plant guys would love to watch me jump by dropping their 3 LBS. hammers on the metal sheets I would be preparing the edges on. My most favorite one was when I had this smart mouth teenager looking for the tube of air dope for the air drill. we laughed for weeks at that one. As long as the victim isn't put in harms way its open season. By the way don't step in that! Ah, made you look. LOL


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## KentS (May 27, 2009)

When I was a teenager working for my dad, we had an older guy in a shop next door to us. I had always gotten along with him---until the day my buddy and I decided to set off firecrackers outside his shop door. We did wait until there were no machines running before we did it.

He *did not *see the humor in it!!!!!!!!! After chewing on us for a while (a long, long while), he proceeded to jump on my dad. How dare he raise such a heathen, undisciplined,#%@#!, piece of &$*#, son.
After he left, through his laughter, my dad commanded us to never do that again. He didn't particularly like the guy anyway. My dad was normally pretty cool.

We have since repented and have become "respectable" human beings.


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

in electronics and amplifires speciel is there some big capacitors thats act like battery´s
you can drag high volts from them in miliseconds if you got a new one were the + and - 
come out of each end then is the metaltread just long enoff to go the hole way
down the side , then you do it on both side so they are opposit of each other
and load it, after it is full load you throw it to a person and yell catch (name)
very funny faces from them when they are electriccuted and one they will remember

but they still catch it two weeks after….LOL

Dennis


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## ClayandNancy (Feb 22, 2010)

Send the new kid to the hardware for a can of welding sparks. Use to send the new guy back to our body shop and ask the body man (same body man all the time) where the basement steps were had to get some air freshener for the new tires, there was no basement.


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## hairy (Sep 23, 2008)

My favorite is gluing a penny to the floor.


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## degoose (Mar 20, 2009)

When I was in the navy… we would send the new guy down to the galley for a saucer of milk for the sea cat…sea cat is a missile…
send him down to the electricians workshop for a box of short circuits…
send him down to the shipwrights shop for a long weight… or wait… after 10 minutes the chippie would ask if that was a long enough wait… lol


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## 33706 (Mar 5, 2008)

I recall sending a newbie plumber apprentice back to the shop to get a spool of pipe thread. I've also heard of buckets of steam. These days, I see no humor in that crap, and indeed new general guidelines for inappropriate workplace behavior, i.e. harassment, include "Vexatious Behavior". I'm glad to see this added to the list. Nobody should have to endure the hazing rituals people of my generation went through.


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## degoose (Mar 20, 2009)

Yes hazing is not a good practice… it made us what we are today…


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Send him looking for the shop dog that got out ,when there is none,


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## cranbrook2 (May 28, 2006)

When i used to frame houses we used to always play pranks on the new guys . We used to send them to another framing crews site and ask them if they had a extra box of toe nails , sky hook , left handed monkey wrench or whatever .
We also used squirt a line of chalk in their hard hat so they would have a strip of blue or red chalk in their hair for a week or too ) 
Anytime i saw a big gob of sap on a piece of wood i would take a nail and scoop it up and throw it in someones pouch .


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## KnotWright (Nov 6, 2008)

another all time favorite…. Would you please go to the truck, and bring me the "mattababy" its blue with a 220 power cord.

They come back after looking for it …"What's a 'mattababy'?"

and the answer is always "Nothing what's a matter with you BABY?


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## Knothead62 (Apr 17, 2010)

My uncle was a welder in NE Ohio. One guy thought he would play a joke on another welder. He grabbed a high pressure air hose and stuck it up against the fellow's backside and pressed the trigger. The guy died of a ruptured intestine and massive internal bleeding!


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## Justin1110 (Apr 9, 2010)

"My uncle was a welder in NE Ohio. One guy thought he would play a joke on another welder. He grabbed a high pressure air hose and stuck it up against the fellow's backside and pressed the trigger. The guy died of a ruptured intestine and massive internal bleeding!"

That was just plain stupidity and I hope he got charged with what he deserved. Stuff like that I wouldn't tolerate for a second. There is a huge difference between a harmless joke and killing someone.


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I was on a job with some pipe fitters who were using Vic grease to slide their pipes into the rubber gaskets in the fittings. One of the first days on the job, a little after lunch when they had finished in the area, everything I touched was greased!! My drill motor, my cord, my conduit bender, everything!!

They were good at it and hard to get back at. One of them would be holding the end of a tape for another one and when the tape rolled up, the end would be greased. This was before cell phones were everywhere. I greased the phone in their job shack. The foreman went in, put it to his ear and got a bit of grease on his ear as he started to make a call. As soon as he got greased, he put the phone down on the desk and called to his brother who was working right out side the door that there was a phone call for him. Ralph stepped in and got his ear greased ;-)) That is one of the few times I got them.

It was getting fairly warm in the spring, so I got some skunk scent that hunters use to cover their scent. I put a little on a rag and left it in the corner of the job shack over the weekend by the garbage can over the weekend.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Every time we hire a new electrician at the university, his first assignment is to head up to the front of campus and change the batteries in the sundial.


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## JJohnston (May 22, 2009)

Darn it, I WISH I could get a "board stretcher" joke played on me. I figure it's a good chance to disappear and take a nice, long break.

Okay, here's one: I once worked on a construction site, back when people had both pagers and cell phones, with a guy whose boss was constantly paging him. He unknowingly dropped his phone one day; I picked it up and started paging him about every 5 minutes and leaving his boss' number. He came up to me later, all flustered, and said, "Bob keeps paging me and I can't find my phone!"


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I could handle that Charlie ;-)


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I was on a job in Tacoma, I work by myself normally and nobody but my wife or the engineer for the job I'm doing usually know where I am. A laborer come up to be and says somebody called and left a message for me to call them. I'm extremely skeptical under the circumstances. It is long distance to Seattle to boot. (before cell phones) I pointed out to him it is long distance and I still don't believe anyone left that message for me. He finally convinces me it is ok to use their job phone to call Seattle. I called, it was some kind of sex hotline. After that, I heard him doing after some one else to call it. Wonder what that cost his boss that day?? Phone bill was probably nothing compared to his wages!!


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## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Reminds me of the joke where the newbie construction worker is making fun of the older guy.

The old guy bets the newb lunch that he can haul a load in a wheelbarrow over to the machine hut that he couldn't bring back.

Once the newb accepts. The seasoned pro tells the newbie to 'get in'


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