# Why Teachers Drink...



## Brit (Aug 14, 2010)

Just a few of the answers teachers have come across when marking tests.

Enjoy!


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## lysdexic (Mar 21, 2011)

Awesome. Just awesome.


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## mojapitt (Dec 31, 2011)

Very cute


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## BrandonW (Apr 27, 2010)

Can't get enough of these!


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## DS (Oct 10, 2011)

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.










After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington


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## Brit (Aug 14, 2010)

Nice.


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## whitebeast88 (May 27, 2012)

very funny!!!!


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## Cosmicsniper (Oct 2, 2009)

I teach high school math for a living. That one on binomial expansion rings a bell!!!


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## lysdexic (Mar 21, 2011)

You know, if I was a teacher I'd have to give some of these credit because they do, in fact, answer the question. I value the creativity.


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## ShaneA (Apr 15, 2011)

Oh my, looks like some of my test answers.


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## JJohnston (May 22, 2009)

I think I saw an application of #2B on the Coyote and Roadrunner show. Unfortunately for the coyote, the roadrunner's spring at the bottom of the long gutter didn't obey conservation of energy, and the rock came all the way back up past the top and nailed the coyote.


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## 47phord (Apr 10, 2012)

I've seen that before, and it never gets old. Thank-you, I had a bad day today and I needed that!


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## derosa (Aug 21, 2010)

They don't get any better in college either. 
During my year as a TA I had to read some really bad answers. 
q: What is bronze made of a: Diluted gold
q: What did the Athenian use to build their fleet a: Silver from the [Larium] mines (this was a correct answer)
followup q: What were the ships made of a: silver from the mines. 
These were classics that I don't think I'll ever forget.

Worst was the bonus questions in a Roman archaeology class. 
They were 1. What is the color of Napolean's white horse. 2.Who is buried in Grant's tomb? (Mrs grant would have been accepted). 3. What holiday are we about to celebrate? (exam was given the day before Easter break). and 4. What class is this? which was actually on the top of the front of the exam. 
Only 11 people out of a class of 150 actually got all of them correct.


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

A very close friend of mine taught a high school shop and on a test he asked "on what stroke does a file cut?" 
The funniest answer was "on the thirty-second stroke"

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I took a calculus final with the instruction written on the test were "read all of the questions, pick one to answer, sign you name, give yourself an A, turn in the test paper, and leave the room quietly".
It was amazing how few people actually read the complete instructions. And I was not one of them!


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## mloy365 (Oct 30, 2009)

Very funny stuff.


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## derosa (Aug 21, 2010)

I had to take one once on the aztec gods which were originally all designated with single letters A-Z. The professor handed out a paper with 20 of the gods in 2 rows, marked off 10 and we had to name them. I figured the prof couldn't really expect the class to memorize all the aztec names nor to try and actually memorize over 20 god images out of context. Therefore I assumed they were all in alphabetical order and the ones marked were whichever was next in line. My A was the only passing grade on the exam.


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

thanks for the laugh Brit 
i´m going to get some hard water to my single malt 
its have been a long time since I had been in such a good spirit 

Oldnovice  that instruction is a classic famerous number to make with a test 
but long time since I last heard about it … learned the hard way myself to read all … before answering .. lol

take care
Dennis


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## DS (Oct 10, 2011)




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## IsaacH (Aug 29, 2012)

Stuff like that is both why moy mom kept teaching for 20+ years AND why my wife quit teaching after 4 years!


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## superdav721 (Aug 16, 2010)

Andy that is good stuff and the ones to follow as well. I know this because I have 30 years of education. 
~
~
~
I went through the 10'th grade 3 times


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## TechRedneck (Jul 30, 2010)

Nice diversion.. Thanks


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## Cosmicsniper (Oct 2, 2009)

ScottyB - I do give partial credits sometimes for creative responses. It's better than doing what most of my kids do, which is diddly-squat! You do want to keep them in the game sometimes instead of disappearing.


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## donwilwol (May 16, 2011)

I had a student once (tech school) come to me and ask for extra credit work. I said but you haven't handed in the original assignments yet. She said that's why I want the extra credit work. I said so as soon as I get the original assignments we'll talk about extra credit. She said but the original assignments are to much work.

She didn't pass the class.


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## superdav721 (Aug 16, 2010)

Andy that is good stuff and the ones to follow as well. I know this because I have 30 years of education. 
~
~
~
I went through the 10'th grade 3 times


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## donwilwol (May 16, 2011)

At least we know you don't quit Dave.


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

thats why you are so smart Dave ….. 

the teachers let me out after seven years in a school with straws as roof 
they told me I had a 1.class brain …........

Dennis


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## Surfside (Jun 13, 2012)

This hilarious post made my day.


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## DS (Oct 10, 2011)

*Teaching Math In 1950 *

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

*Teaching Math In 1960*

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

*Teaching Math In 1970*

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

*Teaching Math In 1980*

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

*Teaching Math In 1990*

By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers.)

*Teaching Math In 2010*

El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es…..........


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*Love the above!*


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## Sanity (Jan 13, 2011)

The thing that I learned recently is that there are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't.


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## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

I thought there were 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't.


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## superdav721 (Aug 16, 2010)

Hey I had to learn to count in octal.
letters and numbers dont mix.


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

you just have to learn the hexidecimal system Dave …. then you have no trouble 
of mixing numbers and letters …... glad I on the digital system now …... its either on or off …... LOL


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