# I heard ROY UNDERHILL and CHRIS SCHWARZ were ARRESTED!!!



## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

Did you hear the news? Turns out there was this HUGE fight at Woodworking in America and Roy Underhill took out his anger on Chris Schwarz with a big hunk of Iron!

The way I heard it, Roy was whittling a little wooden boat out of a larger wooden boat and Chris came up behind him. Words were exchanged about hand tool skills. Chris took hold of Roy's mustache and cut half of it off with a paring chisel. Flushed with anger, Roy pulled a carving mallet from under his hat and threatened to mess up Chris' hair. That's when it all hit the fan!

Schwarz grabbed Undrehill by the suspenders and began swinging him around in circles while Underhill flailed his arms, shouting some kind of backwoods profanity until he tripped over a bench dog and landed on the convention center floor. When he came to his feet he was wielding an iron bench hook with murder in his eyes. A couple of swings was all it took to knock Chris Schwarz silly, but Roy wasn't done. Before storming off he let out a manly roar as he tore his shirt from his chest, his sinewy muscles bulging from years of cutting down trees with a dull axe. Then he lifted all 300 pounds of Schwarz's bench over his head and threw it into the crowd!

The end result was a severely cut knuckle on Chris's left hand and a broken bench.

At least that's how I heard it. Of course, Schwarz tells the story differently on his blog. But you'd expect that…


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## BrandonW (Apr 27, 2010)

Yup, I'm pretty sure you have the correct details on that one.


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I heard it a little different. He tripped over the yeller dawg that follows him into the shop everyday.


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## redryder (Nov 28, 2009)

Wait a minute, is that true?


> ?


??


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Whew! And I thought I heard:

…The end result was a severely cut *TV Episode*...

*;-)*


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

*Wait a minute, is that true????*

Would Stumpy say anything that wasn't true??!!


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## TimC (Sep 17, 2009)

Must be a hard life out there at WIA11. Here's the full story, pay special attention to the cracking over the head part. thanks to Stumpy for getting us the story.


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

Is it true? Photos don't lie…

Head Chuck- You honestly believe that rediculas story Chris told on his blog? Like THAT'S plausable…


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Dang! They BOTH have the SAME Inmate number! I knew it, they are Siamese Twins!


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## GMman (Apr 11, 2008)

1st thing I noticed just like Mike SAME Inmate number


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

GMan & Mike- Are you saying those photos may be fake? Are you saying I may have gotten my information from an unreliable source?

Besides- you're mistaken. Look again…


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## mikema (Apr 27, 2011)

Wow! I didn't realize that WIA so popular with the Little Rock police that they were stationed all the way up in Covington, KY!


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

Mikema- My sources tell me that they had to be taken out of state to a more secure location to avoid the paparazzi, you know… because of their big celebrity status. Since nobody cares what happens in Arkansas, it was a good place to book them.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Stumpy,
So when did the operation take place to separate these conjoined twins? And was it at the local county Hospital? Guess they got tired of sharing a cell?

*;-)*


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## mikema (Apr 27, 2011)

StumpyNubs- Okay, that explains it then! I shudder to think how much worse that already bad situation would have been with the paparazzi, and hand-tool mob for that matter, had they not taken those added steps for security.

HorizontalMike- I have been wondering that myself. I was thinking more along the lines of woodshop for the operating room, a 100 year old workbench as the operating table, and a large, 100 year old, two person saw for the actual separation..


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

*Doctor mikema!*


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

Mikema- You're dealing in the realm of fantasy now. This thread is about reality, and I'll thank you to abide…


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## pierce85 (May 21, 2011)

^ only The Dude abides…


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## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Hey bub, watch those cracks about Arkansas…..I live in Arkansas…..We just don't care what happens to all you Yankees…...).


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

what´s up with you over there … can´t anyone have a great evening at the local bar
with the usual barfight anymore without geting arrested …........... 
glad you still have ww otherwise it would get tooo boreing

thank´s for sharing Stumpy ….. its better than the news on the television

Dennis


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

"I feel your pain" Rick.


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## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Hey nubs,

Oh…I feel no pain….some of us down here even "gradsiated 6th grade".....


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

upon further review… I may have gotten one or two of the facts wrong…


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## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Well nubs, it was a good story, anyway….not two of my favorite actors, but the plot thickened at the end…


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## Knothead62 (Apr 17, 2010)

Did anyone in Vegas put odds on who the winner might be?


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## Sawkerf (Dec 31, 2009)

Mug shots from Little Rock AR? The show is based in NC, isn't it?


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## helluvawreck (Jul 21, 2010)

Hey, I didn't hear anything about this on the news. Who came out on top?


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

You have to read the comments for that info, Sawkerf…

Helluva- The story above seemed to say that Roy Underhill wooped some butt. I personally wouldn't mess with him, he's been known to go into the forest with nothing but an old draw knife and a week later come out with a piece of furniture and a couple of fresh bear hides…


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## pierce85 (May 21, 2011)

"Mug shots from Little Rock AR? The show is based in NC, isn't it?"

Given their budgetary problems, AR and NC merged a couple of weeks ago.

My deepest sympathies to North Carolina… ;-)


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## BillWhite (Jul 23, 2007)

I just blew my Coca Cola outa my nose. That's just too much.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bill


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## WayneC (Mar 8, 2007)

I agree. Well done.


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## Jacoblucas (Sep 28, 2011)

Ahaha thanks for the laugh!


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## mikema (Apr 27, 2011)

"Mikema- You're dealing in the realm of fantasy now. This thread is about reality, and I'll thank you to abide…"

StumpyNubs- My sincerest apologies. Although I do not have an MD, I do work in hospital's IT department, so I am positive that makes me an expert in medicine, right? Perhaps I did make the poor assumption that these two were joined together with a hidden dovetail joint using 24/4 lumber, as these two live, breathe, eat sawdust and plane shavings. Based on that assumption, I made the judgement call that I did.

From this point forward, I will do everything in my will power to abide. I promise. Maybe.


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## WayneC (Mar 8, 2007)

Anyone know if they made bail?


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## mafe (Dec 10, 2009)

Thank you, that was laugh of the month on LJ.
Big smile,
Mads


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## CartersWhittling (Jan 29, 2011)

Thats why I don't have a mustache or wear suspenders.


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

Yeah, And….......wearing a tie is like going to a hanging ;-))


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## StumpyNubs (Sep 25, 2010)

Nobody knows what the heck you're talking about- Topo…


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

Roy's moustache had one side cut off and is now loop sided. He was whirled around and round by the suspenders. Isn't wearing a tie just like going to a hanging in a similar situation?


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

yep topa …. thats why I use safty tie on the job

Dennis


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## mikema (Apr 27, 2011)

UNBELIEVABLE! Roy and Schwarz took their fight to Roy's show, with an innocent Lie-Nielsen smoothing plane caught in the middle! I thought maybe the fight was a simple misunderstanding, but this is proof that there is something more deep rooted! (Woodwright's Shop Episode title "Hand Plane Essentials With Chris Schwarz")


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## thedude50 (Aug 13, 2011)

thats right i abide


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## SalvageCraft (Jun 26, 2011)

You know neither of them look 6'3" on tv…


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## Racer2007 (Jan 13, 2011)

81A3827 for Roy and 81A3828 for Chris, these are not the same Inmate numbers.


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