# Just plane too serious



## dennis (Aug 3, 2006)

Woodworking for me has been a statement that our lives have value. The act of creation is important. The stories of fathers passing this skill on to our kids is more important to me than if someones dovetails are off center. I remember the saw stop drama, the critique dilemma, and tantrums, including my own, at the contest votes. (just don't like rustic, I guess) Lumberjocks has been a place of light hearted jokes and friendly banter. I see lots of new folks showing up every day and I can't help but think they are attracted by the fellowship. It sure can be a shelter from the crap I get out in the "real" world. My family has lost young kids in a strange war. Kids are losing their parents due to meth. People are working much to much. Medical bills have ruined my life. If you just want to learn to cut perfect dovetails someone here will direct you to the knowledge you need. If you want to know why Jesus was a carpenter or just why a high school shop teacher can save a kid from a life of despair pull up a saw horse and dust off a corner it will take many voices and a long time to tell that story. The best lesson I got was from an old drunk. During a major period of trauma in my life he told me "Dennis, Life is just too important to be take serious". I guess I feel that way about Lumberjocks.


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## offseid (Jan 16, 2008)

Nicely put. I'm a newcomer here and sure have enjoyed my stay thus far.


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## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

Thanks Dennis,

I used to tell the guys that worked under me, let's have some fun today.

Why make things seem like a lot of work.


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

on my personal journey, loss of a loved one made the point real clear-life is important. All the rest is just stuff. 
The intensity of emotions that get riled up over the most trivial of things.(I shake my head)... and life goes by.

I'm reading a book right now that talks about how "things" are our way of trying to discover or label who we are. What we are really looking for is that inner peace, that connection with all things (life). I personally think that the reason LumberJocks.com is so successful is because underneath all the "stuff" there is that connectedness with each other and with wood, and thus trees, and to all things. There is a calmness that goes along with this craft (and this site) because we "know" what life is all about. Friendship, nature, peace…


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## rikkor (Oct 17, 2007)

I never realized you were a philosopher Dennis. I appreciate the atmosphere around here, as you do.


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## scottb (Jul 21, 2006)

I had a boss once tell someone about me "Scott's great. He doesn't take life too seriously." I thought it an odd thing to say at the time (when I was in college), but I responded "You can't." My girlfriend at the time (studying science, not art) said that I had better take life seriously. Guess where she is now?
Life is too important to take seriously. When we're at the end of our days looking back, we aren't going to wish we spent more hours at the office, billed more OT. We're going to wish we made our days more fun!


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## Karson (May 9, 2006)

Amen Brother Dennis Amen. Preach it brother. We're listening.

Thanks for your comments.

This is a great place. All are welcome. Even us galoots.


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## woodnut99 (Dec 17, 2007)

Hey Dennis , Haven't been here in a bit , I remember all your comments and now I'm a bit embarrassed to be one of those "dovetail" guys… You said to me early on , Spend more time in the shop and not on LJ. Well I took that to heart… I need to hear the bold truth sometimes. The tough Love… You also commented on Siddhartha , my all time favorite book… Helped save my life from "a strange war" Your surely not alone here. Woodworking is one of my other worldly places I can retreat and find answers in… Strange I never thought it would turn out like that. But I had that shop teacher your talkin' about. Old biker hippie maniac sculptor genius… You just reminded me Ya gotta GIVE BACK !!!! PAY IT FORWARD !!! Thanks Dennis . 'RESPECT" , Patrick


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## woodnut99 (Dec 17, 2007)

Hahahah , This is great ! a cute girl writes Hi where youa'll from , and I think it broke a lumberjocks record for replies in shortest amount of time. Sucks I only got one reply for my dovetail help , hahahaha ! I can't stop laughing , looks like I'm lightening up. Take care brotha.


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## North40 (Oct 17, 2007)

I'm with you, Dennis! I've been thinking along similar lines, but hadn't figured out how to express it to the group. You said it just right.

Hey, you never told me to spend more time in the shop instead of on LJ. Why does Patrick get sage advice and I don't? I want some sage advice!!


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## Hutch (Sep 24, 2007)

Thanks Dennis. I just received an email from my sister with much of the same sentiment. I don't know who to credit for the original.

God's Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups-porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite-telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup,
we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups. Enjoy your coffee!

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything."

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.

- Sorry for the long post but I thought it fit.


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## Boardman (Feb 7, 2008)

I just recently came across this forum and this is my first post. By the way, thanks for the welcoming comments. Right of the bat I noticed a decidely more pleasant and thoughtful tone to the forum, and I've pretty much seen all the others.

Personally, I find arguing or heatedly discussing anything with font on a screen to be completely inane. Really now…the normal course of everyday life offers more than enough opportunities for pointless conflict. Do I need to search out someone half a world away so I can trade barbs? Surely you jest…

I've always used these forums as a learning tool, and I can't begin to describe how valuable they've been. Those of us who grew up sans computers can only marvel at the amount of knowledge that's right at our fingertips today.

One of my favorite questions to myself is "How important is it?" Usually…..not very.


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## Tangle (Jul 21, 2007)

Yeah, Dennis, we gotta keep havin' fun. Some times, while beating our brains out trying to make a living, we forget that we used to enjoy the time we spent in our shops. I guess that's why I sometimes just stop and build something I want. I too, enjoy the comraderie and friendship we share here. When I signed on there were a few over 1200 of us. It was still a small community. It still is. I don't want to come here and argue or make anyone feel bad. This is where the gang hangs out and I would miss all of you if you weren't here.


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## MtnManMEP (Feb 7, 2008)

Well spoken Dennis, and everyone else. From someone who dedicated 110% for 18 years in the corporate world, has lost many loved ones, both young and old, and spent the better part of my life to date obsessed with what society currently paints as success, I can fully testify that true happiness does not come from money, possessions, accomplishments or power; it's about relationships and sharing of ones life and experiences with others. Obviously, we are each different and exactly what works for me may not work for anyone else. But I know that keeping a light heart and positive outlook every day is necessary to keep me from being drawn back into the must have, must do, drive-for-more mentality.

Fly fishing and woodworking are two activities that tend to be more intrinsically satisfying for me. As Dennis stated, it's not so much the finished product or outcome, but rather the process that is fulfilling. (Drinking good whiskey or scotch also falls into this grouping but for obviously different reasons.) I've fished since I was a boy but I've continually found most fly fishermen to be stuffy and overly obsessed with perfect technique, gear and results. That's fine and good on occasion, but to fish like that always is not satisfying, at least not for me. Woodworking is something that I've only recently taken up and while my exposure to other woodworkers is limited, I'll have to say that they generally seem to have a more relaxed and positive approach to the craft than the fishermen I've met. While I've only been a member here shortly, this forum has done nothing to dispel that perception of woodworkers and I certainly hope that will continue to be the case.

The bottom line; spend time in the shop, spend it on the river, spend it on LJs but spend it positively and in a manner that really provides true happiness and fulfillment, otherwise, you're just in it for a ride and when you reach the destination, I'm sure you will find it not nearly as fulfilling as the journey could have been.

That said, it sure is getting deep in here, better bring be wearing boots before visiting Dennis' next topic.


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## scottb (Jul 21, 2006)

I've been thinking about this post on the drive in the job today - and its nice to have that little reminder every once in a while, whether the anecdote about the coffee, or Boardmans simple rhetorical question, how important is it?
So much energy is either spent on things we can't control or debating between too many nearly identical options.
As someone who let his possessions possess him as a youth, I'm so glad it didn't take me long to realize I didn't have to keep up with the Joneses. Sure their 60" TV looks nice, but I bet their bills don't! (and we don't have cable anyway!)


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## gene (Oct 8, 2007)

I used to keep up with the Joneses and try to out run them at times. In 1982, all changed over night. After a long night at the hospital and the joy of being there for my child's birth at 2 a.m. and it probably being the high point of my life. Next came the worst day of my life. At around 9 a.m. the next morning, I was awakened to the phone call that would forever change my life. The doctor said that we had some serous problems and that I needed to come in for a talk. (Downs Syndrome) I will dispense with the filling sorry for myself and asking why stories.
I will say that the worst nightmare of my life turned my values completely around. What had mattered, expensive house, new car, nice cloths, didn't matter, and what didn't matter, did, your family and then you really find out what true friends if any, you have.
It took me a while to understand the true gift that God had given me. To be satisfied with what life brings, to change for the better the things you can and to live with, what you cannot.
The people that have truly inspired me in life were my parents and in present day is my son Gregory. He has been and is a true blessing from God to me.
For any family that has gone through having their child being born with a birth defect. You have my utmost respect and well wishes and may God bless you. I wish the world were a perfect place, but it's not. Things happen that are not in our realm of control.
Before joining LumberJocks, I had been a member of a couple of other sites. I saw the bickering, complaining, the mad at the world attitude of a lot of the members and therefore I did not join in on forums or discussions.
That's the reason that this site is so great. A real family type atmosphere. People having respect for other peoples feeling and yes, occasionally a little bickering. Like every family, sometimes its nice to clear the air.
I as many of you, would find it hard to worry about daily problems and build something at the same time. Just imagine what that project would look like? (LOL)
As the old saying goes. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade! And as for we LumberJocks here? GOT WOOD? BUILD SOMETHING !
Life is truly too short to worry about the small things. Tomorrow, something serous could happen to change our lives forever, and today just could be the last day of our life here on earth. So folks, lets enjoy it to its fullest! Lets just chuckle at the small stuff and keep on getting up.
This is just my point of view and what I feel is important to me.
May God bless all !


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

several months after my husband died my boss talked to me and said that she hoped I'd be back to my 110% soon. I looked at her and realized that my 80% was good stuff and to push myself to 110% was for what benefit? It wouldn't benefit my life or my family. Why do we think we need to give 100%+ ? Why are we good workers only if we give, give, give and put life second to the job? 
Yah.. relax and enjoy the coffee!!


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## SPalm (Oct 9, 2007)

Gall Dang it fokes. Now I am all choked up.

I have been floundering around trying to decide if I should put the time and money into building a new shop. Is buying new tools just trying to keep up with the Jones'? I came to realize that this is what I really wanted, and it was not a power trip or trying to out do the other guys. What is the saying? "Follow your heart". So I will.

I love this place,
Steve


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## BelleCityWW (May 28, 2007)

Well said everyone and I couldn't agree more!

John


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## scottb (Jul 21, 2006)

Bless you Gene.

No Steve, new tools and shops aren't for keeping up with the Joneses. (unless you don't use them). They are for creating hand?crafted greatness in your home and your family's.


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## saddlesore (Oct 17, 2007)

This morning I attended the funeral of the 17 yr. old daughter of one of my best friends after her suicide by hanging. Reading this terrific thread was just what I needed. I realized how blessed I am.

I resolve to savor my coffee every day! Thanks everyone!


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## LeeJ (Jul 4, 2007)

There's quite a number of posts here that are worth reading several times. Probably all of them.

Hutch, I especially enjoyed your post, and the meaning behind it. Very appropriate in my case anyway.

Ms. Debbie; You're right, 80% ought to do it. I don't know where I fall in the percentage of effort, partially because I'm always "working on something", but it's not something I have to do, it's something I want to do.
I can honestly say when I don't feel like it, I don't do it. (plus it interferes with my nap time) LOL.

For all of you trying to keep up with the Jones's, I've been told they're no longer doing woodworking, so do what you must to keep yourself happy, and out of the poor house. Sometimes it's better to want than to have.

As Tom Angle says; build something for the fun of it, and generate real friendships here with people you may never meet, but become part of your extended family anyway.

Tom Keegan; I can't imagine the pain you witnessed / experienced today. Crazy to live in a world where a teenager felt it unbearable to live in.

I'm going to go get a cup of java in a paper cup!

Lee


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## Boardman (Feb 7, 2008)

MsDebbie - Personally, I can never give any credence to someone who doesn't realize that the percetage scale stops at 100. I had hoped that the 110% idiocy would be confined to meathead athletes giving meathead interviews to ESPN folks.


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

yah, that math just isn't quite right, is it?

Tom, I'm so sorry about the tragedy. Horrible


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## scottb (Jul 21, 2006)

80% - yep work smarter, not harder.


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## Blake (Oct 17, 2007)

True dat, Dennis. Great post. I agree with the drunk.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Just ran across your post, Dennis. You said it beautifully.


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## mrtrim (Oct 11, 2007)

well done dennis , lumberjocks is not my job its my passtime . great post !


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## Alphie (Jan 13, 2008)

There's a lot of wisdom in many of these entries. I have been blessed by many of you on this website. It truly feels like within this website is a great neighborhood filled with people who care deeply about people. Thanks for sharing, Dennis, along with everyone else.


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## gusthehonky (Feb 26, 2008)

"Why do angels fly?", I asked, hoping to stump the wise man.

"They take themselves lightly.", he replied.


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## Radish (Apr 11, 2007)

Thank God posts like this come back around and don't end up permanently archived on page 539 and beyond.
I have always learned a great deal more than woodworking on this site (I was a weekly attendee at a 12×12 meeting for years and yet I learned about rule#62 right here from you, Dennis - strange cosmos we landed in, eh?).


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## SteveKorz (Mar 25, 2008)

Well, here it goes…

Overall, I tend to take myself very lightly. So, please don't take my post as egotistical, I'm writing it this way to try and convey my story, I want nothing from it but for my point to be conveyed how I see it. Please don't misinterpret it.

In the course of my duties over the years as a Trooper, I have seen many, many things. I can count on my fingers and toes (x3, maybe) about how many times I've come close to death, or seriously maimed. I can't accurately convey how many times I've encountered guns, almost been shot, stabbed, sticked… beat, spat on, or how many times I've pointed a pistol or a rifle at another human being, just like myself. I've lost track of how much dope I've seized, or how many tornadoes I've run from, chased, or tracked to keep the warning sirens in the towns on. I can't tell you how many cocaine/ meth babies that I've seen, or how many children I've taken from parents, or how many people have died in accidents. I try to forget the people that I've lost while doing CPR. I try to forget how many people I've told that thier loved ones aren't coming home. I can't remember how many cars I've dodged to avoid being hit (dozens and dozens), how many guardrails I've jumped, or how many vehicle accidents I've almost been involved in. There are times that the only true explanation I can give for my physical well being is a miracle.

That being said, those very moments when everything around you falls to pieces or you experience a taste or a whisper of death, it is a very emotionally moving experience. I'm sure many of us in this community have been there. This is what made me realize very early on, that life isn't about the collection of "things," but more about loving the "who's." There have been so many times that I've left for work, thinking of things that are totally trivial that I make out to be such a big deal, then have something happen at work that completely changes my point of view. I've come home on many occasions after handling a bad domestic, and I just latch onto my wife and hug the life out of her, and thank her for just being herself. I love my wife down to my very core. It never fails, whenever I think that someone else's life might be a better deal (or the grass is greener on the other side of the fence), I'm put in one of these situations and it totally brings me back to reality.

I've learned that if you can't laugh (especially at yourself), you're a ticking time bomb. You can't harbor your feelings from your mate or children (or take'em for granted), tell'em you love'em every single day, or more often than that. I've come to realize that it's not the "things" in life that matter, the new tools or 58" zero turn mowers, or new cars. The world is going to continue to turn, make life matter instead.

Hutch in the post above said it absolutely perfectly, it's not the "cups" but the "coffee." And I love my "coffee."

Dennis, I absolutely agree… Life is waaay too important to take seriously… if we did, I think we'd all go nuts.

I'm sorry this was such a long post. Thank you all for listening, I've got so much in my head that sometimes I just have to lay some of it on the table (vent a little, I guess). God bless you all… thanks for your time.

-Steve


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## dennis (Aug 3, 2006)

Thanks Steve. It was just what I needed this morning!


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## saddlesore (Oct 17, 2007)

Amen, Steve. And thanks for being there as a layer of insulation between us and the more miserable, misdirected, or just unfortunate portion of the population.

Go Stars!


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## rikkor (Oct 17, 2007)

This is still a very significant thread that is worthy of an occasional re-reading. Thanks again to all the contributors to this. Thanks Dennis for launching it in the first place.


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## rsharp (May 6, 2008)

I attended a Toastmasters International Disctrict Convention two weeks ago as a guest. The keynote speaker said something that absolutely changed my way of thinking about a lot of things. He said this, "If you have a job to do, whether you choose a bad attitude or a good attitude, the work is still the same." How true.


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