# The Jesus says...



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Religion is to science as a moron is to intelligence.


----------



## FatherHooligan (Mar 27, 2008)

Grass is to rock as oil is to rights….


----------



## ClintSearl (Dec 8, 2011)

Which you (DKV) so convincingly demonstrate.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Kansas is to enlightenment as the model T is to Tesla


----------



## FatherHooligan (Mar 27, 2008)

Lightening is to chocolate as dust is to improvisation…


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

roses are to cactus as perfume is to flatulence


----------



## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

Is is to his as as is to has.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

A timeout is to discipline as an ice cube is to a hot sidewalk.


----------



## Milo (Apr 24, 2009)

Zero Tolerance is the last refuge of the incompetent and impotent.

Political correctness is the death of the intellect and the soul.


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

surely at some point in life

there is a time to put this behind you and go and listen to an owl ?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Moron, put The Jesus behind? Never!


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

they work for me ; ))


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

y not ?

i think yr supposed to pay it forward ?


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

be kind


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Moron, owls are kewl but can never come before The Jesus. No matter the reason. Give me a J, give me an E…


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

above all other things










be kind


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I am kind…don't you think?


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

No ur not

ur more provocative the J was

ur down right alarming in a good way










ur almost huggable if not " Santa Claus "


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

some say horse manure is good for the soul ?










I agree


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Moron, you've tempted me with owls and horses. Are next going to take me to a mountain top? Give me an S, give me…


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

u might not think so, but I remain surrounded by owls

the wise old birds who oh so rarely speak

most often

they alone

and are "perfectly"

silent










they are a horses best friend


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I have an owl for a neighbor…go figure. Hoots a lot but has never introduced him/herself.


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

but always use caution as sometimes life "bites"


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

u need to get out that city that torments you

and catch a fish


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Sometimes I feel bad for Charlie and Rick but then they say something and the feeling is gone.


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)




----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

suddenly being budda has come full circle


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Uncanny, that's a week's worth of wasted food.

Moron, I feel vulnerable. I've never opened up like this before.


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

if the "J" comes back or when he duz cuz he will

will he look like this










no need for words, quiet like an owl


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

some things simply don't make lies


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

You do not need Obamacare…all healing is through me.


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

Nope I dont.

I'm a Canadian and we have universal health care


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Deek,if all healing is through you, would you mind if I send you the bill for my chiropractor? Obamacare would take care of it , but since you are offering!!!


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Madts, if you had come to me instead of the chiro it would have been free…your mistake, your bill.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

So you are telling me to come to California to get fixed. Maybe Obamacare will be the answer, with your blessing of course.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

madts, no need to travel. I work through all Jehovah Witness outlets. Find the one nearest you and tell them I sent you.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Since I am an atheist, that will not work. The Jehovah Witness's have worn out their welcome in our area. Baptist, and such, you know. Would you have any other ideas that might work?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

madts, eventually we all die. Until then, stay away from sharp objects, sick people and risky endeavors.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

So now you are telling me to give up woodworking. But , but that is all that I have left to do, and my house is not finish. My wife will kill me and the dog will not go for a walk with me if I give that up.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

This group of humans is a poor representation of my ideals and teachings. They do not speak for me.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

When giving advice to the handicapped we feel better about ourselves.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

What's the deal Deek, you were Muslim a couple of months ago, albeit, a bacon munching muslim.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Switch hitter…


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

and then again










i wonder if one will ever get the boot for inappropriate content ?

moderators must be snoozing ?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Moron, I do not see anything inappropriate. Give me an example.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I am in no way associated with this organization.


----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

As Dennis Miller said on the O'Reilly factor last night.

"When I go to Confession - - I wan't to say "YOU FIRST" "


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

These people are evil and have no relationship with me.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

"Preachers" that use my name to blackmail people have absolutely no connection to me.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Is child sex abuse more prevalent amongst Priests than in any other profession? If so, what is the cause?

Discuss.


----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Renners - - anymore it seems Teachers having sex with their students is reported with alarming frequency

WHere were the hot teachers that VanHalen sang about in my mispent youth LOL


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

I thought I'd inadvertently 'Godwinned' this thread, I raise the question because it's apparent a small number of men in black frocks can't keep their hands to themselves when it comes to children. But how many times have we seen DKV post news stories about child molestation by members of the RC clergy. Lots. This isn't a personal attack on Deek, but keeping on posting the same sorry stories is just the same as sensationalizing it in the news. What I'd like to know is does the celibate life of a Catholic Priest and the close proximity of children make them do these vile things? Is there evidence of this, do they not have a screening program?
I mean, I don't ever remember hearing any stories of Church of England Vicars (who are allowed to marry) abusing a child and their position of trust. What about Monks?
Feel free to pitch in with some statistics Deek.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

renners, I just post what I see in the news. What really bothers me is the chaste, celibate, pious, moral, upright bull******************** the RC puts out. Beyond that it's the pedofile coverup, money laundering, rat******************** and yet we are supposed to believe, contribute and put our souls in the hands these people. It is similar to do as we say not as we do. Rome lacks a moral compass and is past the day they could scare us into subservience


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

fair enough. It goes all the way to the top doesn't it, and throughout history.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

This woman should drink some of my kool-aid.


----------



## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

So, I guess we should stop fretting over the government shutdown.


----------



## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

if the government ran the golf courses

it would never shut down


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

These people are not my people.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The Jesus asks, which twelve men pulled off the greatest flimflam in the history of the world?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I can heal sickness but even I cannot replace a lost limb. Who does this guy think he is…Me?


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

*YUCK*
data:image/jpeg;base64,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


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I will forgive anyone who shoots this sinner and shuts him up.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

This man has no ties to My Father, to Me nor to humanity. His only ties are to his greater enrichment.


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

*HYPOCHRISTIAN*
hyp·o·crist·ian 
noun \ˈhi-pə-ˌkrist, yun\

Definition: A person who claims or pretends to have christian beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs


 A person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or christianity


 A person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated religion

Example of HYPOCHRISTIAN usage


 the hypocristian who criticizes other people for not attending church but who doesn't always attend church themselves

Adjective HYPOCHRISTIC


 It is hypochristic to both support the Death Penalty and claim to be Pro-Life.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Right on HM, right on. You understand what I've been saying. You are my first "saved" LJ. I could never have guessed in a million years you would be My first disciple. Go out and preach and spread the message.. Thank you Mike…


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Deek: I like you more as a Muslim, with or without camels.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

madts, why? Aren't they all devious and self-serving?


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Yes that is true, but as a muslim camel driver you just seemed more in touch with the earth.


----------



## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

Next you are going to post that Military Intelligence is actually helpful? LOL


----------



## Hinge (Oct 11, 2013)

You are not a nice person.


----------



## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

True, but then I have had to carry out missions that MI gave info on. How odd when it came to go time on the ground they were safe and sound back at the ship and my team was getting pummeled. It was those moments that I learned being nice gets people killed, being mean as a snake and refusing to give up kept me alive. Before every mission our CO gave us one simple instruction, live to tell the stories, they sound better that way. (laughing)


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I did not say that nor do I have any part in their silliness.


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

DKV,
Look at your AVATAR, and your byline "The Jesus", and then remember the following definition, because you are living it on LJs:

*HYPOCHRISTIAN*
hyp·o·crist·ian
noun \ˈhi-pə-ˌkrist, yun\

*Definition:* A person who claims or pretends to have christian beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs

A person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or christianity

A person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated religion

*Example of HYPOCHRISTIAN usage*

the hypocristian who criticizes other people for not attending church but who doesn't always attend church themselves

*
Adjective HYPOCHRISTIC*

It is hypochristic to both support the Death Penalty and claim to be Pro-Life.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Mike, I think you just defined the tea party. Thanks for helping me out again.  you've changed a lot. Maybe you'd like to share with the rest of us. What brought you to your senses?


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

contest…
put them the correct order for nut, nutty and nuttiest


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone with half a brain that I have no, none, nada connection to this guy no matter what his delusions may tell him.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)




----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

"Religion is to science as a moron is to intelligence."

Hey …..is that a compliment ?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Smart, very smart. More small business, more income, more donations…


----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)




----------



## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

file it


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)




----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

HMike, I'm working from the inside to fix many, many problems. You can help…


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)

"Let's not forget, American Jesus…. 
http://theamericanjesus.net/?p=10943&utm_content=buffer64618&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer":http://theamericanjesus.net/?p=10943&utm_content=buffer64618&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer





































I think these two should be fatter and hairier to truly invoke the spirit of America.


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)

Let's not forget, American Jesus…. 
http://theamericanjesus.net/?p=10943&utmcontent=buffer64618&utmsource=buffer&utmmedium=twitter&utmcampaign=Buffer





































I think these two should be fatter and hairier to truly invoke the spirit of America.


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)

You should check out the link. These images got cut off a bit.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Little known fact, Chuck Norris was the life model in the above painting.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## 111 (Sep 2, 2013)

I see a new intro coming for "Blue Collar Woodworking…"

(that's just wrong)


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Do not think bad of me but one drone or suicide bomber would fix this picture.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

What should we do with this guy? Most conservatives would say he needs to be rewarded. What do the truly honorable amongst you say?


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

I think that you should superimpose him into to the picture above. Then call the NSA for a drone with a big one.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

^
^
Death by 'Bongo'


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Not by bongo…he would enjoy it.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Are all tea party members and their sycophants wackos? What drives this sort of person? I'm sure there is a tea partier amongst us that can answer the question. Maybe HMike has researched it.


----------



## Hinge (Oct 11, 2013)

Dkv, the Tea Party is the only thing holding this great country together.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Possibly forced to eat soggy biscuits at public school.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

"Dkv, the Tea Party is the only thing holding this great country together"
I would rephrase to be:
The Tea Party is the only thing holding this country apart.


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

I think he meant to say that ******************** is sticky and smelly, and when your party is associated with ********************, ******************** gets all over you. That *G*ood *O*ld *P*oop (GOP) will long be remembered for the stink it created… Just sayin'...


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## Tooch (Apr 6, 2013)

I was once at a Gathering of Catholic Men, and heard an enthusiastic preacher (not a priest, just a preacher) yell "GIVE IT UP…. GIVE IT UP…... GIVE IT UP FOR JEEEEEESUUUUUUUUUS!!!!!"

It was awesome


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Are there any real Americans on this site?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Ranting. Now there's a good word that needs to be used more often.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

The Tea Party is destroying the Republican Party. I am appalled that the Republican Party has fallen for their BS. Then again, realize that politicians have sold their ethics in the backroom deals that have gotten them where they already are. A good politician is one who stays bought. Unfortunately, they are usually bought by the wrong elements.


----------



## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

Post 108- That woman is obviously deluded. 'nuff said.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The Jesus thinks if you make a large enough donation the Catholics will let you take all the pictures you want.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The Jesus wants to protect those that can't protect themselves. What are these parents thinking?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

The Jesus ponders the following heavy question: How many members of congress leave at the same level of wealth that they entered with?


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## toeachhisown (Eddie) (Mar 30, 2011)




----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




----------



## GFYS (Nov 23, 2008)

hahaha THATS FUNNY!
LET'S PUT A BANDANA ON HIS HEAD AND SUNGLASSES and I scraggly mangy looking beard in some rubberbands and see of whom he reminds you.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

If I had a son he'd look like Philip Chism. Come on Obama…say it. Please?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Obama's son?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

What is wrong with this?


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

I don't see any beer.


----------



## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

That is not my lacking, is it yours?


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

I agree with renners. Stout. and several of them.


----------



## MarkE (Feb 26, 2008)

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Mark, The Jesus understands…


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I love experts. Experts are the smartest people in the world.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)




----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)

Life is an opportunity.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

TSA keeping us Safe

"She said 'this is a gun,'" said May. "I said no, it's not a gun it's a prop for my monkey."

"She said '*If I held it up to your neck, you wouldn't know if it was real or not,'* and I said 'really?'" said May.

The TSA agent told May she would have to confiscate the tiny gun and was supposed to call the police.

(I personally would laugh at someone trying to hijack a plane with a 2 inch plastic revolver from her puppet)


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

EXCERPT -
And the law is enforced. As recently as October, a man was *arrested in New Jersey for shooting an airsoft gun at a rubber duck for target practice, in his own yard*. Idyriss Thomas, 22, was arrested in Glassboro, N.J., after police responded to multiple 911 calls from neighbors who reported seeing a man with a gun. Once police determined the gun was unlicensed, Thomas was taken to jail and charged with unlawful possession of a weapon. His family posted a $2,500 bond.


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)




----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Funeral ettiquette 101 says….. Not Cool!


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

*Christ Kills Two, Injures Seven In Abortion-Clinic Attack*
News • Local • religion • crime • ISSUE 34•17 • Nov 25, 1998

HUNTSVILLE, AL-Jesus Christ, son of God and noted pro-life activist, killed two and critically wounded seven others when He opened fire in the waiting room of a Huntsville abortion clinic Tuesday.

A U.S. Marshal leads Christ to a holding cell. Inset: One of the injured is loaded into an ambulance.

Security guards at the Women's Medical Clinic of Huntsville were able to disarm the Messiah before He could reload His weapon, a secondhand Glock 9mm pistol that authorities said He purchased legally at a Jackson, MS, sporting-goods store. "Abortion is a sin," said Christ as He was led away in handcuffs. "It is an abomination in the eyes of Me." Witnesses said the attack, which took the lives of Dr. Nelson Woodring, 51, and clinic nurse Danielle Costa, 29, came from "out of nowhere."

"He walked up to the admissions desk and asked if He could see Dr. Woodring," receptionist Iris Reid said. "The next thing I knew, He was shouting Biblical verses and opening fire on everything moving."


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

What a wacko. The jesus says?


> ?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Mike is making this all up. I would never do what I am accused of. I am the way and path…


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

DKV, the article NEVER mentions YOU. I NEVER made a comment about YOU and made NO comment AT ALL.

And yet YOU accuse me of accusing YOU of something. Get a life already.

The news is the news.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Mike, you left out the sentence that you copied the moderators.


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

It was horrible, said injured clinic nurse Jessica Combs, recovering at a local hospital with bullet wounds to the leg and abdomen. He put his hands over Dr. Woodring's head and told him He forgave him for his sins, and then He shot him right in the face. Huntsville police officials are not certain how the Messiah was able to bypass clinic guards and proceed undetected past security cameras and into the clinic waiting room, where He produced the gun from its hiding place in the folds of His robe. Federal investigators are similarly baffled, saying that the heavily armed Christ had moved in mysterious ways.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Turn the other cheek, Deek.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

...for the Deek shall inherit the earth.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Pretty funny TLFKAR.


----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

Court decides that it is OK to kill people if you are rich.
We have a new "plea deal" called AFFLUENZA

*His defense team had argued Couch suffered from "Affluenza," a psychological malaise that affects young people who may come from families with money, and that caused his reckless behavior.*

So all the teen stars and Justin Biebers of the world have Carte Blanch to terrorize the communities because Mommy never set boundaries for him.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

I am sure that somewhere in the bible it is ok to use the poor as step stools so what is wrong with affluenza? If you are a genetic step stool then accept your role in life.


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)

Fists of Jesus... The fun really starts around minute 3 and there on.


----------



## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

i heard this and found it impressive
It is nice to be important but it is also important to be nice. Alistair


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Let's take an LJ poll. How many LJer's have infected their children with affluenza? How many LJer's would infect their kids if they had the ability? How many LJer's have accepted their roles in life as foot stools? How many LJer's are fighting their role as a step stool?

Remember, as renners said, the meek shall inherit the earth. Meek and step stool are synonymous. Before you vote remember The Jesus loves foot stools. Be proud of your heritage.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Deek, you were such a nice Muslim. Now you are just a LJ-evanglist, or a pretend-to-be one.


----------



## MrRon (Jul 9, 2009)

If the scientists are trying to discover how and why God created everything, they are wasting their time.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Scientist are not wasting their time because, they know god did not create anything. Human beings created several gods to explain the unknown.


----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

Yo Saturnalia! Remember to celebrate it this year, from December 17--23rd!


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

No mate, I said the Deek shall inherit the earth.

The meek shall inherit nothing.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

I like the idea of that HM, party like a Roman for a week, wine, song, pleasures of the flesh etc, better than stuffing your face with turkey for a week.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Thanksgiving, to me is the best celebration in the States. Good food, drink, family, etc. Down to basics. That is just like the Romans. The Norse for that matter.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Ever watched 'The Vikings' Madts? (1958 Kirk Douglas/Tony Curtis) They knew how to party too.


----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

No renners I have not watch that one. I will make a point of doing so.


----------



## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

BS Thread!!!


----------



## UncannyValleyWoods (Apr 18, 2013)

Is no one going to watch "Fists of Jesus"? Seriously folks, if you had, there's no way you could keep the awesomeness inside you…You can also watch it here. The zombie killing starts at around minute 3….Jesus miracleing fish and decimating zombies by 3:50.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

This one really has The Jesus confused. If great ideas come from the back of a napkin then what comes from the front?


----------



## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

All Kinds Of Colors! I blew my Nose on The Front. Which was a Great Idea at the time.


----------



## DrDirt (Feb 26, 2008)

So it would be great if the rover would drive to one of the Apollo sites and beam back streaming video to finally quell the rumours of the Apollo landing being a Hoax.

Too bad we don't really believe in space anymore in this country - - it seems that there are no "Big" ideas anymore that capture the imaginations of a generation.


----------



## 280305 (Sep 28, 2008)

So it would be great if the rover would drive to one of the Apollo sites and beam back streaming video to finally quell the rumours of the Apollo landing being a Hoax.

I'm afraid that would just convince the conspiracy types that China is now cooperating in the hoax. Imagine the uproar of "stop outsourcing our hoaxes!"


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Dan'um, you are one sick puppy. You just made my day.


----------



## Milled (Dec 15, 2013)

Dan, not very kind of you.


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Bit of Sock Puppet action going on?


----------



## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Is there a Michael Jackson version of that light switch? woo-hoo


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

No kidding Dan''um, he just looks TOO excited.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Liberals, liberals, liberals. What am I to do with all the crazies?


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Please get along. Abraham is your common father and he is not happy.


----------



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

PC madness bordering on insanity. Doesn't anyone have a brain?










http://www.foxnews.com/world/2013/12/26/uk-retailer-apologizes-over-muslim-employee-controversy/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fworld+%28Internal+-+World+Latest+-+Text%29


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

The Parable of the Good Samaritan sums it all. If you can grasp the meaning thereof.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## suesue1 (Apr 9, 2014)

I need 5 posts before I can ask some guy a question. This should be number 5.


----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------



## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




----------

