# British Isles



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Since a lot of the LJ's are from England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales (?) I've been doing a little reading. I'm assuming the British Isles refer to everything floating off of the coast of Europe? Secondly, a lot of migration occurred from Europe, Celts, Saxons, etc and each had their own language? When did everyone adopt English? Are there still languages spoken that are not English? Are the heavy accents of the Irish and Scots a result of their original language? I could look this all up in "the bible" but I figured you guys could help alot prior to me jumping in.
Thanks,

PS - This is a serious post from the most serious part of my heart…


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

The Vikings taught the Brits everthing they know to this day.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

If you are really serious DKV, you could get a history book and learn all about the British Isles from reading what some historians wrote.

I love history me, not that I'm a boffin or anything.

As far as my understanding of it goes, pre Roman invasion, the Brits were all Celts (probably a lot of gingers in the populace).

Enter the might of Rome, Celts defeated except Welsh ones and Scottish ones who ran away to Wales, Scotland and Cornwall. One Briton heroine of note was Queen Boudica of the Icini tribe (the same tribe as Agron, from the TV series 'Spartacus, Blood and Sand'), who defeated many Romans. Hadrian's Wall which divides England and Scotland was built by a Roman named Hadrian to stop the Scottish Celts plundering England - now a part of the Roman Empire.

Crumble the Roman Empire, the middle ages begins, enter the Saxons to create the age of Anglo Saxons, then came the Vikings.

There was once a gay Viking King who came to conquer part of Northern England. 
"Kill the women and rape the men!" he cried as they went to sack and plunder a village, 
an aide corrected him, "My Lord, don't you mean, kill the men and rape the women?" 
to which the gay King replied "speak for yourself, duckie".

This is documented somewhere, it actually happened, or it could have been one of my Dad's bad jokes, circa 1978.

Then came the Normans, not an army that all had the name of Norman, but from the Normandy region of France. William the Conqueror owns King Harold who got an arrow in his eye as depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry.

After that there were centuries of feudalism, crop rotation and the industrial revolution. In answer to your question about when did English become the spoken language, I don't know. Definitely before last Tuesday.
But I do know that Cornwall has it's own (dying unfortunately) Celtic language, Welsh is it's own language (it even has it's own dedicated tv station) Scotland again, own dialect, and Ireland has it's own language - Irish, begorrah! It is important to point out that Northern Ireland (six counties of the Island of Ireland) is part of the United Kingdom, whereas the Republic of Ireland is a Republic and has been since 1926.

Regional dialects can be found in all regions of the British Isles. The Scottish accent can be hard to follow, I am not going to say anything about alcoholism, but Scottish people live the most unhealthy lifestyle of anyone in Europe. Welsh people are mostly unemployed since the mines and steel works were closed by Margaret Thatcher in the 1980's

England now is very much a multi-cultural society, the result of having an 'empire' stretching from the West Indies to the Far East.

English youth is disaffected, hence the disgraceful rioting of 2011, Football (Soccer) is our national game but we haven't won anything of note since 1966. As a nation, we eat a lot of pies.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Thanks renners.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

No problemo!

You would not fare well in England, as we all enjoy a 'nice cup of tea' and you can't get kool aid.


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

DKV: Try reading a book called " A Man Called Intrepid". Shows the UK during WWII. Pretty good stuff.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Renners, madts, I would enjoy something comparable to what Michener would write. I would enjoy a book that combines the history of the Isles with a good fiction story to pull it all together. James Michener had a special talent at telling a good story and teaching you history at the same time. Any ideas?


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

I'll have it ready for you in a couple of weeks DKV.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Can that be Science Fiction?


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Dr. Who? Love it…


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## murch (Mar 20, 2011)

Football (Soccer) is our national game but we haven't won anything of note since 1966. As a nation, we eat a lot of pies.

Always had you down as a Cat renners.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Murch, I have lived in Co. Kilkenny for the last 10 years, but I am as English as a pair of oven gloves with kittens on them.


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## Howie (May 25, 2010)

@renners, very interesting read. Thanks


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

without the British people, we would all be wearing the following


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Anyone read this?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

There is nothing wrong in being British. In fact the humour is better there.


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

its gonna take forever to teach people the language of peace










or 2 seconds










of after thought where the dialect makes the conversation mute : )


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

And renners, there was a Viking that was very light in his loafers.


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

Fact of the matter is

English with every dialect of it, no matter where spoken, will eventually die as any stats I read would tend to prove it to be true ? Men fight wars and population demographics, language demographics tell me, that the generations born after me, will choke the "English to Death", its a genetic "inevitability" to which I will long be dead by (NOT my problem : )

Gotta love the English as I do believe its the language of love, be it by my Viking cousins and Scottish brethren, my Newfie friends and Irish drinkn buds, my American family, Aussie and Kiwii friends, rich with all things loved, my roots run deep enough to dig up dirt in any country where language breaks barriers of conflict where custom dictates you to be kind……maybe ?

or are the english just doomed to be a bunch of a$$holes like all my best friends ?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

over and out


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

language, its all in the mind so thank your many memories










pick your poisons wisely


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Not much in between, is there Moron.


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

nope


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

how about you ?


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

seriously ?


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Why a dead cat?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

​


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

no guns


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

be glad we can read, most of the world cant, even on this side, its subjective ?


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

common language every soul knows


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

balls to the wall

artist unknown


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)




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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

languages become redundant when skill levels surpass them


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

sometimes artists unknown never leave a number and the language is known to few

: ))


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Renners, Great historical , albeit skimmed history of the Brits - including some of the tribes. Boudica (Bordacia) was from my part of England and there was also another tribe called the Angles, who at one time must have been dominant and gave the country name of England.
As noted, English, Brits stock is found all over the world, not surprising when you realize that the Brits conquered or ram 25% of the world's countries/population, a feet that America will never attain. 
Brit humour is effeminately and acquired taste, and brilliant too. 
I constantly have to remind people here in the US that my "cute accent" is NOT an accent, it's a dialect and that YOU GUYS have the accent.
They usually stare and don't understand, so I just say "Why don't you speak proper, like wot I do?"

Love real history.


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

history










has a time line


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

fun factor vs space


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

the british cow


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

All, just started reading Sarum. Starts at the time of the landbridge still existing to Europe. Seems like $9 well spent. More later…


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

There was a line in "Robin Hood: men in thights"

"Unlike other Robin Hoods, I speak with a british accent"

Same scene:

Sherrif of Rottingham: "he killed a Royal Boar!"

Robin of Loxsley: "No, i killed a Royal deer, that ( pointing to the sherrif) is a Royal Bore!"


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## murch (Mar 20, 2011)

Irish men built the British empire and then you gave us drink so as we wouldn't rule it. Fair enough.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

The Scots are about to have a vote on whether they remain British and have their affairs dictated non democratically from Westminster London, or not.
We want to run our own affairs completely and not have most of them dictated from London via Westminster English Parliament.We currently have our own Parliament in Edinburgh but have no real powers re our future and we don't want England to tell us what we have to do in the future.We currently have a prime minister with just one m p in power in Scotland, telling us exactly what we must do and not do.We did not vote for Cameron and the same with Thatcher but had to endure eighteen years of her rule without demaocracy where are we slaves to westminster.Even the people in northern England don't feel well served by LOndon westminster mp's who couldn't care less about north they only are interested in the rich southern counties and London. A bit like Canada being run by America without say or vice versa.Alistair


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Just as the Coal Industry was wiped out† by the Tories, I am convinced devolution was encouraged so this day would come. North Sea Oil isn't going to last forever and once the revenue from that dries up, it's going to cost a lot to keep Scotland in the UK. A pre-emptive amputation to suit the exchequer.

†There's 300 years worth of coal still to be dug out of the UK. Closing the UK Coal Industry is keeping it in reserve. Nevermind the human cost.


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## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

Those costs have been well discussed and the Scotish nationalists always win their argument that we will be better off financially and. Anyway it isn't all about us being wealthier just that we want to decide whether to go to war when we don't want to, or have nuclear missiles in Scottish waters, or deal directly with Europe, without first asking the english government if it is ok and being denied the right ,seems the tories want out of Europe altogether we don't. We would be made welcome in Europe as a country that doesn't always bitch and moan like a little schoolboy etc etc etc the way the southern english do constantly undermining europe.The benefits would be many unfolding but not ever that we would be rich or anything like it we need to run Scotland by Scot'smen and women not english tories that we never voted for in the first place. Alistair


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Good for them…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

How touching…


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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

*DKV*
Care to share a cup of tea and a slice of toast with marmite with me?

Btw… this is marmite…
Love that stuff


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Alex, don't partake of anything named tea, love toast, have never tried marmite…kind of sounds like an infection.


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

The world is getting smaller and countries are multiplying by leaps and bounds.
I do understand the concerns of nationalists, but am concerned where all this "independence" is leading.

In Alistair's case, a first step may be a break with the UK parliament, setting up a separate country of Scotland with all that entails, like passports, immigration and defense etc.. what would be the next step? Perhaps Clans will demand their own countries, perhaps villages too, what a nightmare?
I just use Alistair's example of what seems right, but can, if democratically followed on, can become extremely complicated.
Citizens of small countries, insisting that the country is divided into different ethnic sub-countries? - Oh, that's already started.
What if the US was broken up into 50 Independent "State" countries and it's overseas processions become Independent? All with their own government, military, health care ad infinitem. The I guess Counties will want their Independence next …Oh, what a mess.
If each of the "new" countries produced were members of the UN, where would they find a building big enough in the world to house their meetings?

I today's shrinking world it would be far more logical for countries to join together rather than to become segments. In fact, it will mean that we will be going backwards in time instead of forwards.

Something to think about?


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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

DKV, Marmite is a yeast extract…. Butter and marmite on toast tastes salty… Problem is, its addicting.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Damn Poles…


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Marmite is one of those things you either love or hate.

In the case of Marmite, I am a hater.
.









Bovril is a salty bovine extract. It has never been in my kitchen cupboard as I'm not taking any chances.


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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

renners, bovril switched to a yeast extract some time back..


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Roger: Look at Skandinavia. 5 relatively small countries. All Doing relatively well. The same with the Baltic states. You do not have to be a big country to be able to function. Maybe big is bad.


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Marmite is the best. Dissolve some in soup. Just great.


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

madts, Let's wait and see if China breaks up into tiny countries.
History tells us that a Juggernaut rolls over anything small.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Alexandre, it is true that Bovril switched to a yeast extract recipe for a while (in the wake of BSE), but they switched back to the salty bovine extract.


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

madts, Yes I do understand that there are countries in Scandinavia, the Baltic and Australasia that enjoy a good way of life, but aren't these countries great friend with big mean brothers who will defend their way of life?

What we are talking here is countries divided into small countries because they have a big problem with being UNITED as ONE, hence they are a force to be reckoned with, On the other side of the coin, we see China EXPANDING, claiming other countries, territories and even oceans as belong to it. How do you think 120,000 mini countries are going to oppose that situation. Remember the premise is that, countries who can't get along with ethnic citizens, divide into smaller multiple countries where none of them for some reason can get along ….yeah great allies right??


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Madts, Alistair has already stated that the New Scotland does not want any nuclear weapons on it's soil or waters -- so exit the USA.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

How is your cheese quest going madts?


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

I have been trying the stuff at the local box store. Not that great. Going to venture into broader fields.


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

What started out as an interesting historical thread, has turned into an absurd concoction of frozen tundra silent photography, political opinions, yeast extract discussions and volatile headlines from obscure sources.

What perceived to be an interesting historical learning experience has been turned into a farce….. And as they say on Sharks, for that reason, I'm out.


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

What was the question again??


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

see ya later alligator


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

renners, I like both, just don't buy CANADIAN MARMITE.
it looks like youknowwhat.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

We've upset Roger talking about yeast extract, though I would like to point out in fairness that throwing Marmite in the mix was probably done to illustrate the peculiar tastes of the British public.

Another peculiar English delicacy, the Steak and Kidney Pudding, also known as a "babbies 'ead" in Manchester.

This is not a dish for top athletes.










Another one from Scotland, the deep fried Mars Bar










And so any Welsh Lumberjocks don't feel left out, their national vegetable, the leek.










Which makes me wonder, can you get a leek in WalMart?


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## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

Roger no we wouldn't want nuclear warheads in Scottish waters. Britain now has a system which it buys from you guys but just the hardware not the software so we pay billions fot it and cannot use it without your permission.The English don't want to have it near them in case of emergency so they stick it in Scottish waters just across from my house in gareloch next to the holy loch were I live as a matter of fact.They want it but not near themselves we say if you want to pay all that money in times of austerity then do so but not with our money currently funded from Scottish oil and stored well away from harm to westminster and the posh part of England as said here with us in Scotland . Also southern Ireland exists without passports we won't need them if the English want to come and go over our borders nothing will change.They will be most welcome. we might have to review that if Cameron comes out of Europe with england and we get independence and remain in Europe which is what we want also.
here is no comparison to the 50 states as we sCOTTISH were always a seperate nation with our own queen and kings, own monetery system, own laws, own eductaION SYSTEM, ETC ETC ETC we want rid of the monarchy as people don't longer have a hankerring after a monarchic system certainly not in Scotland as she is always regarded and called the queen of England.We want rid of this system and replace it with what they have in europe an elected representative.How would the united states like to have a british system of nuclear warheads but not the software to use it bought from England at a rediculous cost.I think not.


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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

Scotsman, sorry I know you have parkinsons disease, but i don't like huge stories…
On the other hand, renners, leeks in Canada are freely available for sale..


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Alistair,
As a Bruce, I have Scottish blood in my veins that runs deep.I can understand and appreciate the conceived plight of the Scots,Irish,Welsh, Falkland Islanders and a myriad of countries within countries around the world.

What does concern me is that breaking up entities into even smaller entities in this shrinking world is the wrong way to go. It is a time when entities should come together, for the reasons I have stated before. The United Kingdom is only one part of a growing trend for small or tiny separate countries to be formed from larger united countries. In today's world, I find that notion to be a dangerous and an illogical path, bickering divisions make everyone weak, and eventually a target for larger, less civilized regimes to take advantage of.

I see the United Kingdom as a country of significant value, even though stupid open immigration has opened up the country to the dregs of society who wish to impose the ways of life in their former countries.

I live in a great nation that has grown, not split itself into smaller less significant pieces, after all how them would it have stood up to the Russian Communist Bear?
Even after the Brits gave up on military conflict during Independence here, they did not give up on the US, in fact they provided the money for the then, small US, to double it's size by the Louisiana Purchase, the Brits effectively stopped this country from having French and Mexican (not pure Spanish) as the two languages used here.

I do understand where you are coming from Alistair, but I have my own personal reservations.


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## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

I want to point out we are not anti English far from it.Just want to run our own country democratically.and I do consider you a good friend of mine Roger really I do anyway ther will always be an England so fear not.seriously England itself is devided noth and south too much power is in the hands of a small number of mps in westminster Londoion and they serve us and the north of England poorly as they show more interest in London and the southern countiesI want a free Scotland to run it's own affairs being told we cant by the english Parliament makes my blood boil.Alistair


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## BigYin (Oct 14, 2011)

DKV … Ive tried the Tea Americans provide, a cup of warm water with a lipton yellow lable tea bag beside it. No wonder the bloody yanks drink coffee.

Madts … <the> Yes, sounds about right, but did they teach us everything the vikings knew?.

Renners … Bovril - Grew up on it, & still spread it on toast every morning, its a true food of the gods. Marmit however is not allowed in the house.

Im a Geordie from Newcastle, which means about half of the UK cant understand me, their loss not mine.
If I drop into bedlington pitmatic dialect no one understands a word. "Hoya hamma owwa heer bonnie lad, then haway owwa heer, an giz a hand ta put the gallawas ahint the limas" 
Most of the UK has strong local dialects with local slang, some sound similar but not to the speakers, scouse from livepool, geordie from newcastle, pakistani from birmingham etc.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Marmite is made of yeast. Bovril is made of liquidised cows. Both can rock a piece of toast's universe. Or, if you get the one you don't like, make you want to cut your own face off and eat it instead.










Look the same to me.


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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

DKV, you should seriously consider buying the small bottles of each, or go to a british hotel and take a sample of each, and taste it on a slice of toast.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

The guy answering the door is from BigYin's neck of the woods.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Alex, ever had kimchi?


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

Ever drink a shot of Worcestershire sauce?


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Walker's. British Lay's.


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Have you ever tried to LAY a FRITO?


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Who knows more about making chips than the British? It may not be a coincidence that some of the most daring chip flavors are made by British companies. Walkers, for example, is so innovative that it accepts challenges from the public for new flavors.
The Cajun Squirrel was a Walkers flavor competition winner and, lo and behold, Walkers went and made them. I've no idea what these taste like, and I'm not sure I'm adventurous enough to even try one.

1. Walkers Cajun Squirrel Potato Chips

2. Walkers Lamb & Mint Potato Chips

3. Calbee Seaweed & Salt Potato Chips
If you're into Japanese, you can bet that Calbee has chips to your taste.

4. Walkers Roast Chicken Potato Chips

Feel like a drink about now? Well, here are a few Chip Shots (for you drinking golfers).
5. Chip Shots Margarita & Salt Potato Chips
From Beer Chips, the company that makes potato chips with beer, comes the Margarita & Salt chips, presumably made with margarita fixings. The order page may be down temporarily, but be patient!

6. Walkers Steak & Onion Potato Chips
(Glad they passed on the Liver & Onion flavor.) A six-pack of the Steak & Onion chips is available in the U.S. from Amazon.com.

7. Route 11 Chesapeake Crab Potato Chips
Route 11 is in the Shenandoah Mountains in Virginia. And the company named after Route 11 is busy every day making hand-made potato chips in many flavors. From the land that knows there's nothing better than a Chesapeake Bay crab and the chips will soon be in at Amazon's grocery. If you would like to try all 11 Route 11 chips, you can purchase a mixed case from Amazon too.

8. Tasto Tuna Salad Potato Chips

9. Walkers Prawn Cocktail Potato Chips
Absolute bliss (I have tasted these). Fortunately, for those in the U.S. the Prawn Cocktail Chips are available at Amazon.com.

10. O'Malleys County Mayo Ham

11. Route 11 Dill Pickle Potato Chips
Also coming to Amazon!

12. Hot Potatoes Spicy Bloody Mary Potato Chips
These goodies are also made by Beer Chips. See above information.

13. Calbee BBQ Corn Potato Chips
You don't even need to love Japanese to appreciate the flavor of barbecued corn!

14. Tayto Fusion Sweet Chili & Red Pepper Potato Chips

15. Walkers Crispy Duck & Hoisin Potato Chips

16. Golden Wonder Sausage & Tomato Flavour Potato Chips

17. Calbee Korean Cuttlefish Potato Chips

18. Herr's Heinz Ketchup Flavored Potato Chips
Get Herr's here!

19. Wise Smokin' Grill Hamburger & Fixins Potato Chips

20. Walkers Chili & Chocolate Potato Chips


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_scat_16322761_ln?rh=n%3A16322761%2Ck%3Awalker%27s+crisps&keywords=walker%27s+crisps&ie=UTF8&qid=1360288654&scn=16322761&h=029e0816253e0423f4f16d126c3a652d866f9a63


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Love those Japanese rice crackers.


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

Just try a "Gin and tonic". That makes you real British in a hurry.


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## Simon2822 (Oct 16, 2011)

Walkers make crisps, not chips.

If Scotland get independance, they will not be a member of the EU and will have to apply for membership.


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## BigYin (Oct 14, 2011)

Simon2822 
-If Scotland get independance, they will not be a member of the EU and will have to apply for membership.-
Well I hope they have the luck to get trading partner status not full membership an so avoid all the bollocks from Brussels interfering with their lives. If they do I'm off over the border.

Renners
Allan Partridge video - Guy in house sounds like a Mackem/Smoggie not a Geordie
I cant stand AP, even so, Cup of beans and a sausage, i thought i was going to die laughing


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

I heard that Tesco and others are now offering Jockey Pies along with their Shepherds Pies.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Is this a big deal?


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

It is if you work there.

HMV, His Master's Voice. Record store where you can't buy a record. Plenty of crap DVD's.

Not surprising really, it's all downloads now and PirateBay.com.

British High Streets now have hardly anything in them apart from £ Shops, Discount ******************** and Cards, and Charity Shops.

Even the Pubs are closing as the supermarkets are offering booze below cost to tempt people in.

I hate Tesco's, they are trying to take over everything. Argos is the same.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Renners, is a discount *************** someone out of their prime? How are ******************** graded?


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

*************** = cigarette


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Oh. I knew that…


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

In the town where I grew up, the once vibrant (well ok, that might be pushing it a bit) town centre is just a ******************** hole. It's the only way I can describe it. Anything that was ever any good has gone. Woolworths, WH Smith, the Record Shop, the Sports Shop, the Butcher's etc. 
All gone, obsolete. Retail parks on the ring road draw all the shoppers with the free parking and discount pricing. Get as much as you can for as little as possible. Pat your backside in triumph.
I remember the site being cleared for the original Tesco Supermarket. Must have been about nine or ten, in school, the whole class looking out the window as the claxon sounded, signalling the iminent fall of the factory smoke stack.
That was a great summer, playing in the rubble before they started to build.
Then, the last time I was home, the original Tesco was gone, in it's place a MEGA Tesco. The death knell for the Town Centre. This has happened the length and breadth of England.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Renners, we are the transition generation. We remember and love the downtown, the mom and pop's, the small stores. We have lived that era and now are living in the big box era. No other generation can say that. I loved my small downtown with the single screen theater where everyone shopped and the grocery store was right in the middle of the mix. Now it's everyone drives 10 miles to the mall, Costco, Home Depot, etc. It's a whole generation of fun that our kids and grandkids will never live. Of course I'm sure every generation has something they've lost and are sorry to see go. I'm sure there are a few that still miss the witch hunts and burnings of old Salem, Mass…


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## helluvawreck (Jul 21, 2010)

One of Ireland's biggest exports has been people over the years. They're all over the world. I've got mostly Scotch/Irish blood in me. My great grandfather came over here in the potato famine and decided that he'd just stay here. ;-| Well, actually he probably couldn't afford to go back - even if he had wanted to. ;-|

helluvawreck aka Charles
http://woodworkingexpo.wordpress.com


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Now Charles, you may have Irish blood in you, but Scotch is what you drink, it's Scot's blood.

renners, I used to live in a country village called Stanford le Hope, then they decided to build a post war "new town" right next to it, hence Basildon was born. We moved further into the country to get away from it, to Suffolk, Sudbury, until they decided to build a "London over-spill" estate next to it, so we moved again to Clare Suffolk which is still a quaint country village.

Basildon town center looks like your pic, businesses closed and a "ghost town" now.
Sudbury is still is a country type area, but with a large estate of "foreigners" mixed in.

That's the story of England, as of Wales, Scotland and Ireland, nice small towns becoming ugly cities, with all the bad things that brings. "Free for all" immigration from people of different cultures and sub standard education and questionable living styles has added to the demise of what was once, a good, safe and enjoyable place to live, where tradition was everything.

Alistair, my friend, is the same sort of thing happening in Scotland as well? I have not been to Scotland in 20 years, even then I stayed away from the big cities preferring Bannockburn and Sterling areas (for obvious reasons) and some other small country areas. The "country" Scots are no different than the "country" English, that's the sad part of the Scottish/English debate.


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## ubermick (Feb 5, 2013)

The exportation of people from Ireland has been primarily down to our neighbours over the water. The great famine, that Charles' great-granddad came over from which occurred in the mid 1800s, took out a quarter of the Irish population. A quarter. The main cause was the fact that the potato crop failed (hence the stereotype) but the country still had plenty of food to feed itself - unfortunately, the British government at the time taxed people so heavily, potatoes were essentially the only thing the farmers were allowed to keep. At the time, the Irish weren't allowed to possess land in Ireland - when the British colonized the country, it claimed the land as their own, distributed it amongst their gentry, and "allowed" the native population to stay on a much smaller plot of land. Everything grown on the farm became the property of the "landlord", who "graciously" gave their tenants the bare minimum to survive. Anyone who tried anything differently was promptly kicked out and generally died on the streets.

So when the potato blight hit, there was plenty of meat, grain, butter, eggs, milk, etc. being produced in Ireland to feed the population, but the population wasn't allowed to have it. Lords and landowners dined on lavish banquets, while the working men starved in their homes or on the streets. The choice for many became stay and die, or leave on a coffin ship for America or Australia, and most likely die on the way.

Of course all this was 160 years ago, and is water under the bridge to many. Some of the older generation back home cling to their hatred of the English, as they can remember first-hand the stories from their parents or grandparents. But for the majority of us, it's just a part of our history that we read about, are apalled about, but holding a grudge to anyone in England because of it is pointless.

Of course, Northern Ireland is a whole different kettle of fish…


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## helluvawreck (Jul 21, 2010)

So right you are, Roger. I had to give up the hard stuff many years ago. Since then it's been Bud Light for me.

A friend of mine went in recently to have a colonoscopy. The doctor told him to climb up on the table and stick his butt in the air. Then the doctor told the nurse to bring him a butt light. A few minutes later the nurse brought in a nice cold Bud Light on a tray. 

helluvawreck aka Charles
http://woodworkingexpo.wordpress.com


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

ubermick,
That's history and water under the bridge as you rightly said. History is a sign and action of the times. In that way it could be argued that those extra heavy taxes imposed in Ireland were do to the loss of taxation revenue from the US Independence, so could it be that the root problem was getting enough money to fight off the French, who were at that time trying to take over the world?
The one thing I have learned in my life has been a humorous statement that actually tells it like it is; To be clever, is to only believe half of what you hear, but to be brilliant, you need to know which half.

History has many foggy areas and does not always give you the complete set of circumstances and facts, so I have always found it best to have an open mind about it.
You will also find many Scots who were driven to other countries many years ago, and a great deal of it was due to banishment and Waring clans.


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

A man went to the Doctor and said, "Doctor, I seem to have a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bum hole"

The Doc tells the man to undress and get up on the table, puts on the gloves and examines him.

"Hmmm!" he says, "that's just the tip of the iceberg".


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## Alexandre (May 26, 2012)

DKV, I have had kimchi before… But thats Korean.


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## BigYin (Oct 14, 2011)

Roger
"Free for all" immigration … No S*** Sherlock
I dont mind most of the imigrants as long as they learn to use soap to wash, learn to speak english, then learn to damn well drive. I get along fine with the Poles, Thai's, Turks, Ausie's, Kiwi's etc who integrate into the community but there are other groups who are a royal pain and expect you to learn their language and customs because they are just so damn special.


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## ubermick (Feb 5, 2013)

Ah Roger, don't get me wrong - the issue at the time was fairly straightforward in that the British Empire and it's government/monarchy were a bunch of greedy self righteous imperialists who saw the Earth as something that existed to provide for them. Mind you, that attitude didn't just extend to the Irish, Scots, Welsh, Indians, or any other "subjects of the Empire", it extended to the working classes of England as well. (And that was up until recently - ask any working class Englishman of a certain age what they thought of Margaret Thatcher, for example, and 99 times out of 100 the response wouldn't be legal to print!)

It's water under the bridge in the sense that I think it doesn't get anyone anywhere to carry on a grudge based on what someone's great-great-grandfather may or may not have done to my great-great-grandfather. I've known many, many, many Englishmen in my time (my parents were English, and I have a brother and sister who were born there before my parents moved to Ireland) and the majority of them are as horrified as your average Irishman about the things the atrocities carried out under British rule around the world.


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

ubermick, I believe people all over the world, both now and then have been oppressed. The rule of the Jungle, the might of the Sword, the number of populations, all have their ramifications, hence it will always be a problem to be aware of.
My post to Alistair (who is to good friend of mine) was suggesting what a bad idea it might be to become a smaller and more vulnerable country. It is not that I don't appreciate what Alistair is saying, it is that an ideal goal may lead to other problems. I am parts Scots myself so I do care very much about Scotland.

Bigyin, you got that right. It is not everywhere in this world where in the dead of winter, you can see someone wearing a sari and sandals with a leather bomber jacket on.

Be back later.


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## BigYin (Oct 14, 2011)

Roger
... It is not everywhere in this world where in the dead of winter, you can see someone wearing a sari and sandals with a leather bomber jacket on…

True, but in Newcastle's winter they are also a hyperthermic shade of pale blue, quite fetching realy…


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## helluvawreck (Jul 21, 2010)

For whatever it's worth, I don't hate anybody nor any people for any reason.

helluvawreck aka Charles
http://woodworkingexpo.wordpress.com


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Alexandre, in exchange for trying Bovril or/and Marmite I was going to have you try kimchee. That is the only food I can think of that I had a hard time getting to like. The other one is bagoong (fermented shrimp paste) but I could never get past the smell. I wanted to be fair about it.


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)




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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

The British Empire was the largest empire in history and for a time was the foremost global power. It was a product of the European age of discovery, which began with the maritime explorations of the 15th century, that sparked the era of the European colonial empires. By 1921, the British Empire held sway over a population of about 458 million people, approximately one-quarter of the world's population. It covered about 36.6 million km² (14.2 million square miles), about a quarter of Earth's total land area. As a result, its legacy is widespread, in legal and governmental systems, economic practice, militarily, educational systems, sports (such as cricket, rugby and football), and in the global spread of the English language. At the peak of its power, it was often said that "the su
n never sets on the British Empire" because its span across the globe ensured that the sun was always shining on at least one of its numerous colonies or subject nations. During the five decades following World War II, most of the territories of the Empire became independent. Many went on to join the Commonwealth of Nations, a free association of independent states.


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## rejo55 (Apr 5, 2012)

DKV, I totally agree with you about Michener. My (hopefully) soon-to-be granddaughter-in-law introduced me to 
an author that has moved Michener down to number two favorite. Diana Gabaldon wrote (is writing) the Outlander series, seven Michener-sized books about a modern woman who walked through a split rock at a henge in Scotland in 1947 and ended up in the Scottish highlands two hundred years earlier. She meets and marries
a Scotsman. This is a very good story with a lot of love, fighting the Sassenachs, love, sex, adventure, sex, history, travel and travail.
I have the first seven in the series and, stacked up, are 13 inches thick. Book eight comes out this fall.
I highly recommend her books. You will learn a lot of Scottish history and a lot about the Highlanders.

Try it-you might like it

Have a good'un

Joe


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Joe, right now I'm reading Sarum: The Novel of England, very Michener like. Written by Edward Rutherford. Good book. I'll investigate your recommendation.


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## roman (Sep 28, 2007)

The British Bitch from some Isle


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

There are two names I dislike: Black & Tan. As I am a "Mic", everyone else can look up what those did.

my "People" settled in Angland WAY before Bill the Bastard invaded. Got tired of the Norman lifestyle, and crossed the Irish sea to get away from them. Bloody thieves followed us over to Ireland. We "hid" down in the south for awhile. Came the 1700s, had had enough of the English BS, and that Cromwell nut. Left for the Americas. First settled in the Finger Lakes area of New (Amsterdam) York. Did our service in two wars. By 1812, started to think about moving on. The English Army raising hell in the area delayed that. About 1820 or so three families bought Government Land in the Ohio Area. riverboated down the Ohio River. Went North to the Logan/Champaign area. Started a local Methodist Church as The Newman Society/Olive Chapel. Most of the "clan" moved on over the years, but Abner Newman's little bunch stayed here. I am still here.

Any other such stories out there???


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

OMG Bandit, we may be Angle brothers. My ancient Angle people were the ones without a mustache though.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

British Slang

A

air one's dirty linen/laundry 
To discuss private matters in public.[21]
all to cock 
(Or all a-cock) Unsatisfactory, mixed up.[22]
all mouth and no trousers 
All talk and no action, a braggart, sexual bravado.[23]
all piss and wind 
All talk and no action. Originally the phrase was, "all wind and piss" (19th C).[24]
anchors 
Brakes. "Slam on the anchors" to brake really hard.[25]
argy-bargy 
An argument or confrontation.[26]
arse 
1. The buttocks.[27] 2. Someone who acts in a manner which is incompetent or otherwise disapproved of.[27]
arse about face 
Back to front.[27]
arse around 
Mess around or waste time (17th C).[27]
arsehole 
1. The anus.[27] 2. General derogatory term.[27]
arse bandit 
homosexual (offensive, derogatory).[27]
arse over tit 
Head over heels, to fall over or take a tumble.[28]

B

ball bag 
Scrotum.[29]
balls up 
A bungled or messed up situation. (WWI Service slang).[15]
bang to rights 
Caught in the act.[30]
bang up 
1. To lock up in prison (prison slang).[31] 2. To inject an illegal drug.[30]
barney 
a noisy quarrel or fight. Sometimes claimed to be rhyming slang (Barney Rubble, trouble) but actually dates back to 19th century.[32]
bender 
1. a drinking binge.[33] 2. A homosexual (derogatory)[citation needed]
bent 
1. dishonest or corrupt, 2. homosexual (mildly derogatory).[34]
bent as a nine bob note 
Extremely dishonest or corrupt. A nine shilling (bob) note never existed and would therefore have to be counterfeit.[35]
berk 
(also spelled burk) idiot, stupid person (from Berkeley Hunt, Cockney rhyming slang for ********************)[36]
Billy 
1. Amphetamines (from Billy Whizz, a British comic strip character.)[37] 2. Friendless (Billy No-Mates)[citation needed]
billyo 
(also spelled billyoh) an intensifier. Going like billyo (travelling quickly).[38]
bird 
1. Girl, woman.[39] 2. Jail time (From the rhyming slang: Bird lime) [39]
Birmingham screwdriver 
A hammer.[40]
bizzie 
Policeman (Scouse).[citation needed]
blag 
As a noun, a robbery or as a verb, to rob. Not to be confused with blague, talking nonsense.[41]
blah 
(or blah blah) worthless, boring or silly talk.[41]
blimey 
or sometimes 'cor blimey'(archaic). An abbreviation of 'God blind me' used as an interjection to express shock or surprise. Sometimes used to comic effect, in a deliberate reference to it being archaic usage.[42]
Blighty 
(or Old Blighty) Britain, home. Used especially by British troops serving abroad or expatriates.[42][43] A relic of British India, probably from the Hindi billayati, meaning a foreign land.[44]
bloke 
any man or sometimes a man in authority such as the boss.[45][46]
blooming, blummin' (archaic)
euphemism for bloody. Used as an intensifier e.g. 'blooming marvelous'.[47]
blow off 
To fart.[48]
blue 
1. Policeman.[48] 2. a tory.[48]
bobby 
Policeman. After Robert Peel (Home Secretary in 1828).[49]
bod 
A male person. Short for body.[50]
bodge 
(also botch) To make a mess of or to fix poorly.[50]
bog 
Toilet [51]
bog off 
Go away (originally RAF slang)[52]
Bogtrotter 
Derogatory term for an Irishman particularly an Irish peasant.[51]
bogroll 
Toilet paper.[52]
bollocking 
A severe telling off.[53]
bollocks 
(or ballocks) Vulgar term used for testicles. Used to describe something as useless, nonsense or having poor quality, as in "That's a load of bollocks". Is often said as a cry of frustration or annoyance.[53] Also see "dog's bollocks".
bomb 
A large sum of money as in 'to make a bomb'. Also 'to go like a bomb' meaning to travel at high speed.[53]
bonce 
Head, crown of the head. Also a large playing marble.[54]
booze 
As a noun, an alcoholic drink; as a verb, to drink alcohol, particularly to excess.[55]
boozer 
1. a pub or bar.[55] 2. Someone who drinks alcohol to excess.[55]
Bo-Peep 
Sleep (rhyming slang).[56]
boracic
without money. From rhyming slang boracic lint = skint (skinned).[56]
bottle 
1. nerve, courage.[57] 2. Money collected by buskers or street vendors.[57] 3. As a verb, to attack someone with a broken bottle.[57]
bounce 
1. To con someone into believing or doing something.[58] 2. To forcibly eject someone.[58] 3. Swagger, impudence or cockiness.[58] 4. Of a cheque, to be refused by the bank due to lack of funds.[58]
bouncer 
Someone employed to eject troublemakers or drunks.[58]
bovver boy 
A youth who deliberately causes or seeks out trouble (bother).[59]
bovver boots 
Heavy boots, sometimes with a steel toecap, worn by Bovver boys and used for kicking in fights.[59]
brass 
1. Money.[60] 2. Cheek, nerve.[60] 3. a prostitute.[60]
Bristols 
The female breasts (Cockney rhyming slang, from Bristol bits = tits, or Bristol City = titty).[61]
broke 
without money. Also 'stoney broke', or just 'stoney'.[62]
brown bread 
Dead (Cockney rhyming slang).[63]
brown-tongue 
Sycophant, toady or someone who attempts to curry favour with another (from the idea of licking another's backside).[64]
buff 
1. Bare skin, naked as in 'in the buff'.[65] 2. Having a lean, muscular physique (usually referring to a young man).[66]
bugger 
anal sex but in slang terms can be used : 1. As a term of abuse for someone or something contemptible, difficult or unpleasant.[67] 2. Affectionately, as in 'you silly bugger'.[67] 3. As an exclamation of dissatisfaction, annoyance or surprise.[67] 4. To mean tired or worn out as in 'I'm absolutely buggered'.[67] 5. To mean frustrate, complicate or ruin completely, as in 'You've buggered that up'.[67]
bugger about (or around) 
1. To fool around or waste time.[67] 2. To create difficulties or complications.[67]
bugger all 
nothing.[67]
bugger off 
go away.[67]
bum 
buttocks, anus or both.[68] Not particularly rude. 'Builders' bum' is the exposure of the buttock cleavage by an overweight working man in ill-fitting trousers.[69]
bumf 
derogatory reference to official memos or paperwork. Shortened from bum fodder. Slang term for toilet roll.[70]
bumsucker 
a toady, creep or someone acting in an obsequious manner.[70]
bumfreezer 
any short jacket but in particular an Eton Jacket.[70]
bung 
1. a gratuity or more often a bribe.,[71] 2. Throw or pass energetically; as in, "bung it over here".[72]
bunk 
1. To leave inappropriately as in to 'bunk off' school or work.[71] 2. To run away in suspicious circumstances as in to 'do a bunk'.[71]
butcher's 
Look. Rhyming slang, butcher's hook.[73]

C

cabbage 
1. A stupid person or someone with no mental abilities whatever. 2. Cloth trimmed from a customer's material by a tailor. 3. Pilfer or steal.[74]
charver or charva 
1. Sexual intercourse (Polari).[75] 2. A loose woman, someone with whom it is easy to have sexual intercourse, an easy lay.[75] 3. To mess up, spoil or ruin; to ******************** up (from 1.).[75]
chav, chavi or chavvy 
Child (from the Romany, chavi. Still in common use in rural areas).[76] Also used in Polari since mid 19th century.[76]
Chav 
Someone who is, or pretends to be of a low social standing and who dresses in a certain style, typically badly or in sports clothing. Often used as a form of derogation. Sometimes said to be an acronym for 'Council-Housed and Violent' but this appears to have come later. Most likely to come from the Romany for child; chavi.[77]
cheers 
a sign of appreciation or acknowledgement, or a drinking toast.[78]
cheesed off 
fed up, disgusted or angry.[78]
****************************** or ****************************** chonky 
Chinese takeaway79
chippy 
a carpenter;[80] chip shop
chuff 
The buttocks or anus.[81]
chuffed 
to be very pleased about something.[82]
clock 
1. The face. 2. To spot, notice. 3. To hit as in "clock round the earhole".[83]
cock 
1. Penis. 2. Nonsense. 3. A friend or fellow.[84]
cockup 
as a noun or verb, blunder, mess up or botch.[85]
codswallop (archaic)
Nonsense.[86]
collywobbles 
An upset stomach or acute feeling of nervousness.[87]
conk 
The head or the nose. To strike the head or nose.[88]
cop 
1. A policeman (short for copper). 2. An arrest or to be caught out, as in 'It's a fair cop'. 3. Used with a negative to mean of little value, as in 'That's not much cop'. 4. To get, as in for example, to 'cop off with', 'cop a feel' or 'cop a load of that'.[89]
copper 
A policeman.[90]
corker 
Someone or something outstanding.[91]
corking 
Outstanding, excellent.[91]
cottage 
A public lavatory.[92]
cottaging 
Homosexual activity in a public lavatory.[92]
crack 
1. A gibe. 2. Someone who excels at something. 3. Fun or a good time. From the Irish 'craic'.[93]
cracker 
Something or someone of notable ability or quality.[93]
crackers 
Insane.[93]

D

darbies 
Handcuffs.[94]
debag 
To remove someone's trousers by force.[95]
dekko 
Look. From the Hindi, dekho.[96]
dick 
1. Fellow. 2. Penis.[97]
dip 
a pickpocket.[98]
div 
idiot (prison slang)[99]
do one's nut 
Become enraged.[100]
doddle 
Something simple or easy to accomplish.[101]
dodgy 
Something risky, difficult or dangerous. A 'dodgy deal' for example.[101]
dog 
1. A rough or unattractive woman. 2. A fellow.[101]
dog's bollocks
1. Anything obvious ("Sticks out like the dog's bollocks").[102] 2. Something especially good or first rate ("It's the dog's bollocks", sometimes abbreviated to, "it's the dog's").[102]
Donkey's years 
(Donkey's ears) a very long time. In reference to the length of a donkey's ears. Sometimes abbreviated to, "donkey's".[103]
Done up like a kipper 
1. Beaten up. 2. Fitted up or framed. 3. Caught red-handed by the police.[104]
doofer 
An unnamed object.[105]
dosser 
Someone who might stay in a dosshouse.[106]
dosshouse 
A cheap boarding house frequented by tramps.[106]
duck 
A term of endearment used in the North of England.[citation needed]
duff 
1. broken, not working. 2. To beat, as in 'duff up'. 3. Pregnant (up the duff).[107]

E

earwig 
1. To eavesdrop. 2. To twig (rhyming slang)[108]
eating irons 
Cutlery.[109]
end away 
to have sex (get one's end away).[110]

F

*************** 
cigarette.[111]
*************** end
the used stub of a cigarette and by extension the unpleasant and worthless loose end of any situation.[111]
fanny 
female external genitalia, a woman's pudendum.[112]
fanny adams 
(Usually preceded by 'sweet' and often abbreviated to F.A., S.F.A. or sweet F.A.) Nothing at all. A euphemism for ******************** all.[112]
fence 
Someone who deals in stolen property.[112]
fit 
sexually attractive (Afro-Caribbean).[113]
fit up 
A frame up.[114]
fiver 
five pounds.[114]
filth (the) 
The police (derogatory).[115]
flasher 
Someone who indecently exposes oneself.[116]
flick 
Motion picture, film. 'The flicks', the cinema.[117]
flog 
Sell.[118]
flog a dead horse 
1. To continue talking about a long forgotten topic. 2. To attempt to find a solution to a problem which is unsolveable.[118]
flutter 
(To have a flutter) To place a wager.[119]
fly 
Quick witted, clever.[119]
fork out 
To pay out, usually with some reluctance.[120]
French letter 
Condom.[121]
frig 
1.(Taboo) To masturbate. 2. When followed by 'around' or 'about', to behave aimlessly or foolishly.[122]
frigging 
1. The act of masturbating. 2. Used as an intensifier. For example, "You frigging idiot". Considered milder than '********************ing'.[122]
Frog 
Derogatory term for a Frenchman.[123]
******************** all 
nothing at all124
fuzz (the) 
The police.[125]

G

gaff 
House or flat.[126]
gaffer 
Boss, foreman or employer.[126]
gander 
Usually preceded by 'have a' or 'take a'. To look.[127]
gash 
1. Surplus to requirements, unnecessary.[128] 2. Derogatory term used for female genitalia.[129]
gassed 
Drunk.[128]
geezer 
(informal) Man. Particularly an old one.[130]
gerry 
German.
get 
Variant of git.[131]
git 
incompetent, stupid, annoying, or childish person.[132]
gob 
1. Mouth 2. To spit. 3. Spittle.[133]
gob********************e 
(Taboo) A stupid or despicable person.[133]
gobsmacked 
flabbergasted, dumbfounded, astounded, speechless.[133] Possibly either from the gesture of clapping one's hand over one's mouth in surprise, or the idea that something is as shocking as being smacked in the mouth.[134]
go down 
To go to prison.[133]
gogglebox 
Television.[135]
gong 
A medal. Usually a military one.[136]
goolies 
The male genitals and in particular the testicles.[137]
goose 
To grab someone's behind in a playful fashion.[137]
grand 
£1000138
grot 
Rubbish or dirt.[139]
guff 
1. Ridiculous talk. Nonsense.[140] 2. Flatulence. Probably from the Norwegian gufs, a puff of wind.[141]

H

half-inch 
to steal (rhyming slang for 'pinch')[142]
hampton 
Penis (rhyming slang from, Hampton Wick = prick; and Hampton Rock = cock).[143]
handbags 
a harmless fight especially between two women.[144] (from "handbags at dawn" an allusion to duelling)
hard cheese 
Bad luck.[145]
hawk 
To spit.[146]
head 
1. Lavatory (nautical slang) 2. Drug user. Sometimes preceded by the preferred drug, for example: Smackhead, acidhead, pothead etc.[147]
headbang 
To nod or shake one's head violently to rock music.[148]
headbanger 
One who headbangs or a fan of heavy rock music.[148]
heavy 
1. The use or threat of violence. 2. Someone employed to be violent.[149]
helmet 
The glans of the penis.[150]
honk 
Vomit.[151]
hook 
Steal.[152] Possibly from the act of 'fishing' for items with a hook and line, through an existing or purposely made aperture.[153]
hook it 
To run away quickly.[152]
hooky or hookey 
1. Something that is stolen (probably from hook = to steal).[154] 2. Loosely used to describe anything illegal.[154]
hooter 
Nose.[155]
hump 
1. To carry or heave. 2. To have sexual intercourse with.[156]

I

idiot box 
Television.[157]

inside 
In or into prison.[158]

ivories 
1. Teeth. 2. The keys of a piano. 3. Dice.[159]

I'm all right, Jack 
A remark, often directed at another, indicating that they are selfish and that they don't care about it.[160]

J

jacksy (or jacksie) 
The buttocks or anus.[161]
Jack the lad 
A young man who is regarded as a show off and is brash or loud.[161]
jack up 
Inject an illegal drug.[161]
jag 
1. A drug taking, or sometimes drinking, binge. 2. A period of uncontrolled activity.[162]
jammy 
1. Lucky. 2. Pleasant or desirable.[163]
jerry 
A chamber pot.[164]
Jerry 
A German or German soldier.[164]
jessie 
An effeminate man or one that is weak or afraid. (Originally Scottish slang) [165]
jissom 
semen (taboo).[166]
Jock 
word or term of address for a Scot.[166]
Joe Bloggs 
A man who is average, typical or unremarkable.[167]
Joe Soap 
An idiot, stooge or scapegoat.[167]
Johnny 
Condom.[166] Sometimes also a 'Johnny bag'[168] or 'rubber Johnny'.[169]
John Thomas 
Penis.[170]
josser 
A cretin or simpleton.[171]
jump 
As a noun or verb, sexual intercourse.[172]

K

kip 
1. Sleep, nap 2. Bed or lodging 3. Brothel (mainly Irish) [173]
knackered 
1. Exhausted, tired, 2. Broken, beyond all usefulness.[174]
knackers 
vulgar name for testicles.[174]
knees up 
A lively party or dance.[174]
knob 
1. Penis.[175] 2. (of a man) To have sexual intercourse.[176]
knobhead 
a stupid, irritating person.[176]
knob jockey 
homosexual (to ride the penis like a jockey rides a horse).[176]
knob-end 
an idiot, or tip of penis (see bell-end).[176]
knockers 
Breasts.[175]
knocking shop 
Brothel.[175]
know one's onions 
To be well acquainted with a subject.[177]

L

lag 
1. Convict, particularly a long serving one (an old lag).[178]
lash 
1. Urinate.[179] 2. Alcohol.[179]
lashed 
very inebriated. Also 'on the lash' meaning to go out drinking with the intent of getting drunk.[179]
laughing gear 
Mouth.[180]
local 
A public house close to one's home.[181]
lolly 
money.[182]
loo 
lavatory.[183]

M

manky 
dirty, filthy. (Polari).[184]
marbles 
Wits. As in, to lose one's marbles.[185]
mare 
Woman (derogatory).[186]
mark 
A suitable victim for a con or swindle.[187]
matelot 
Sailor (from the French).[188]
meat and two veg 
Literally a traditional meal consisting of any meat, potatoes and a second type of vegetable; euphemistically the male external genitalia.[189] Is sometimes also used to mean something unremarkable or ordinary.[189]
mental 
Crazy or insane.[190]
Mick 
An Irishman (derogatory).[191]
miffed 
Upset or offended.[192]
milk run 
A 'safe' mission or patrol.[193]
minge 
Vagina [194]
minger 
Someone who smells.[195]
minted 
Wealthy.[citation needed]
mizzle 
Decamp.[196]
moggy 
Cat.[197]
moke 
Donkey.[197]
monged (out) 
Severely drunk/high.[198]
moniker or moniker 
Name, nickname, signature or mark.[199]
monkey 
£500.[200]
mooch 
Loiter or wander aimlessly, skulk.[201]
moolah 
Money.[201]
moon 
To expose one's backside (from Old English, mona).[201]
moony 
Crazy or foolish.[202]
muck about 
Waste time. Interfere with.[203]
mucker 
Mate, pal.[203]
muck in 
Share a duty or workload.[203]
mufti 
Civilian dress worn by someone who normally wears a military uniform.[204] Probably from the Muslim dress, popularly worn by British officers serving in India during the 19th century.[204][205] Now commonly used to refer to a non-uniform day in schools.
mug 
1. Face. 2. A gullible or easily swindled person.[204]
munta 
Ugly person.[206]
mush 
1. Face or mouth.[207] 2. Familiar term of address. Probably from the Gypsy moosh, a man.[207]

N

naff 
Inferior or in poor taste.[208] Also used as sentence substitute as in, for example, "Naff off!"[208]
nark 
1. As a verb or noun; spy or informer.[209] 2. Someone who complains a lot (an old nark).[209] 3. Annoy or irritate.[209]
ned 
(Scottish) a lout, a drunken brawling fellow, a tough.[210] Often said to stand for Non-Educated Delinquent but this is a backronym. More likely to come from Teddy Boys being a contraction of Edward. More recently, sometimes equated with the English chav.[77]
nick 
1. Steal.[211] 2. Police Station or prison.[211] 3. To arrest.[211]
nicked 
Arrested or stolen.[211]
nicker 
Pound sterling.[211]
nob 
1. Person of high social standing.[212] 2. Head.[212]
nobble 
Disable (particularly a racehorse).[212]
nod out 
To lapse into a drug induced stupour.[213]
nonce 
Sex offender, most commonly a child molester. (Prison slang)[214]
nookie or nooky 
Sexual intercourse.[215]
nose rag 
Handkerchief.[216]
nosh 
1. Food. 2. To eat.[216]
nosh up 
A feast or large, satisfying meal.[216]
numpty 
Incompetent or unwise person.[citation needed]
nut 
1. Head. 2. Eccentric person.[100]
nutcase 
An insane person.[217]
nuthouse 
A lunatic asylum.[217]
nutmeg 
In association football, to pass the ball between an opposing player's legs.[217]
nuts or nutty 
Crazy or insane.[217]
nutter 
Insane person.[217]

O

odds and sods 
Substitute for 'odds and ends'. Miscellaneous items or articles, bits and pieces.[218]
oik 
Someone of a low social standing (derogatory).[219]
off one's head (or out of one's head) 
Mad or delirious.[147]
off the hook 
Free from obligation or danger.[152]
off one's nut 
Crazy or foolish.[100]
old bill, the old bill 
A policeman or the police collectively.[220]
one's head off 
Loud or excessively. "I laughed my head off" or "She screamed her head off" for example.[50]

P

packet 
1. A large sum of money (earn a packet).[221] 2. A nasty surprise (catch a packet).[221]
paddy 
a fit of temper.[222]
Paddy 
(capitalised) An Irishman (derogatory).[222]
Paki 
(Derogatory, offensive) A Pakistani or sometimes used to loosely describe anyone or anything from the Indian sub-continent.[223]
Paki-bashing 
Unprovoked attacks on Pakastanis living in Britain.[224]
pansy 
An effeminite or homosexual male.[225]
paste 
To hit, punch or beat soundly. From a 19th century variant of baste, meaning to beat thoroughly.[226]
pasting 
A sound thrashing or heavy defeat.[226]
pennyboy 
A low paid person, employed to carry out menial tasks (Irish slang).[227]
penny-dreadful 
A cheap, sensationalist magazine.[227]
phiz or phizog 
The face (from a 17th century colloquial shortening of physiognomy).[228]
pikey 
Pejorative term used, mainly in England to refer to travellers, gypsies or vagrants.[229] Sometimes also used to describe people of low social class or morals.[citation needed]
pickled 
Drunk.[230]
pie-eyed 
Drunk.[231]
pig 
(Derogatory, offensive) Policeman.[231]
pig's ear 
1. Beer (Cockney rhyming slang.[232] 2. Something that has been badly done or has been made a mess of.[232]
pillock 
Stupid or annoying person.[233]
pinch 
1. (verb) Steal or take without asking.[234] 2. (noun) A robbery.[234] 3. (noun or verb) Arrest.[234] 4. Sail too close to the wind (nautical slang).[234]
pissed, pissed up 
Drunk.[235]
on the piss 
Getting drunk, drinking alcohol.[236]
plastered 
Extremely drunk.[237]
plonker 
1. Something large or substantial (Mid 19th C).[238] 2. Penis.[238] 3. A general term of abuse (from 2.; in use since 1960s [238] but may have been popularised by the BBC comedy series Only Fools and Horses.[citation needed])
pony 
£25 (18th C).[239]
porkies 
Lies (from the cockney rhyming slang pork pies)[240]
punt 
1. To gamble, wager or take a chance.[241] 2. To sell or promote.[241]
punter 
1. Customer, patron.[241] 2. Gambler (one who takes a punt).[241] 3. A victim in a confidence trick or swindle.[241]

Q

queer as a clockwork orange 
1. Very odd indeed.[242] 2. Ostentatiously homosexual.[242]
Queer Street 
A difficult or odd situation (up Queer Street).[243]
queer someone's pitch 
1. Take the pitch of another street vendor, busker or similar.[243] 2. Spoil someone else's efforts.[243]
quim 
Vagina (possibly a play on the Welsh word for valley, cwm).[244]

R

Richard the Third 
A piece of excrement (rhyming slang Richard the Third = turd).[245]

ring 
Anal sphincter [246]

ringburner 
1. A curry. 2. Diarrhoea or painful defecation.[246]

rozzer 
Policeman.[247]

rumpy pumpy 
sexual intercourse, used jokingly. (Popularised by its usage in The Black Adder and subsequent series; the suggestion of actor Alex Norton of a Scots term.)[248][249]

S

safe 
An all purpose term of approval.[250]
savvy 
Knowledge, understanding (from the French, savoir).[251]
scally 
A hooligan youth (Scouse), short for scallywag.[252]
scarper 
Run away. Sometimes claimed to be rhyming slang: Scapa Flow (go).[253][254]
scrubber 
In Britain, a promiscuous woman; in Ireland, a common or working class woman.[255]
Scouser 
Someone from Liverpool.[256]
scrote 
Term of abuse, from scrotum.[255]
see a man about a dog 
1. Attend a secret deal or meeting.[257] 2. Go to the toilet.[257]
shag 
Sexual intercourse.[258]
shagged 
1. The past historic of shag. 2. Extremely tired (shagged out).[258]
shiner 
Black eye.[259]
********************ehawk 
Someone of little worth, originally military slang.[260]
********************-faced 
Drunk.[260]
skanky 
Dirty, particularly of a marijuana pipe.[261]
skint 
Without money.[262]
slag 
1. Worthless or insignificant person. 2. Promiscuous woman or prostitute.[263]
slag off 
A verbal attack. To criticise or slander.[263]
slap-head 
A bald man.[263]
slapper 
Promiscuous woman or prostitute.[263]
slash 
Urinate, urination.[264]
sling one's hook 
Go away.[152]
snog 
French kiss, or any prolonged physical intimacy without undressing or sexual contact.[265]
sod 
Annoying person or thing (from ****************************************).[266]
sod off 
"Go away".[267]
spawny 
Lucky (possibly from the Scottish game, Spawnie[clarification needed]).[268]
spunk 
1. Semen, ejaculate. 2. Courage, bravery.[269]
steaming 
1. Extremely drunk.[270] 2. An intensifier, e.g. "You steaming gurt ninny!" [270] 3. Extremely angry.
stuffed 
1. Sexual intercourse (e.g. "get stuffed")[271] 2. Used negatively to mean bothered, as in, "I can't be stuffed to do that!".[271] 3. having a full belly (e.g. "I am completely stuffed, and can't eat another thing.").[citation needed]

T

tad 
a little bit272
take the piss (out of) 
To mock.[273]
take the mickey 
To tease or mock.[191]
tart 
Commonly a prostitute or term of abuse but also used affectionately for a lover. Shortened version of sweetheart.[274]
tenner 
Ten pounds.[275]
toff 
Posh person [276]
ton 
1. A large unspecified amount (18th C).[277] 2. £100 (1940s).[277] 3. 100 MPH (1950s).[277] 4. Any unit of 100 (1960s).[277]
tosh 
Nonsense [278]
tosser 
1. Someone who masturbates (to toss off). 2. Someone the speaker doesn't like (from 1.).[278] 3. An affectionate form of address (from 1.) e.g. "All right you old tosser!"[279]
tosspot 
Drunkard or habitual drinker (from tossing pots of ale) [278]
tube
1. The London Underground (19th C. Originally 'Tuppeny tube').[280] 2. Penis.[280] 3. A person (Scottish).[280] 4. A general term of contempt (Irish, 1950s).[281]
twat 
1. Vagina.[282] 2. Term of abuse (from 1.).[282] 3. To hit hard.[citation needed]

W

wag off 
Skyve or play truant.[283]
wank 
1. Masturbation or to masturbate.[284] 2. Inferior.[284]
wanker 
1. Someone who masturbates.[284] 2. Abusive term (from 1.), someone the speaker doesn't like.[284][285]
wankered 
1. Very drunk.[284] 2. Exhausted.[284]
wanking spanner(s) 
Hand(s).[284]
warts and all 
Including all negative characteristics (from a reported request from Oliver Cromwell to Peter Lely)[286]
whizz 
1. Urination.[287] 2. Amphetamine Sulphate (also known as speed; from whizz, to move very fast).[287]
willy 
Penis (hypocorism).[288]
willy-waving 
Acting in an excessively macho fashion.[288]
wind up 
to tease, irritate, annoy, anger [289]

See also


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## Roger Clark aka Rex (Dec 30, 2008)

Cushty Dan, lubly jubly


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## ScottinTexas (Jan 24, 2013)

I'm finishing (no jokes please) a book someone lent me called "The Stories of English." At first I was a little reluctant because the book is pretty dense but it reads fairly well. And you learn quite a lot about History along the way - Anglo-Saxons, Roman occupation, Norman invasion, etc…. It explains that quirk of legal lingo where doublets (such as "cease and desist") and triplets are used. Old, Middle and Modern English. Scottish vs English.

www.amazon.com/Stories-English-David-Crystal/dp/1585677191


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Now I understand…


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## Johnnyblot (Mar 2, 2012)

*DKV*
It would not surprise me if you were British?

You seem to have that dry sense of humour coupled with that slight bit of devilment about you? You make me laugh- not a lot makes me laugh these days.

Many years ago I shared a house, there was four of us- An Irishman, a Yorkshireman, a Pakistani [he owned the house] and me- a Northumbrian [north of Hadrians Wall]. They were a great bunch of lads.

I love the multi-cultural side of Britain.

You are correct to think [as *Renner* pointed out] that we do still have 'pockets' where the old languages, Gaelic or Welsh for instance are encouraged and trying to thrive. There are of course as many 'regional' dialects as there are fleas on a dog. 
Even I have trouble understanding* BigYin* sometimes- and he lives across the river Wansbeck from me? Honest! 

Alas language is a living thing and will carry on evolving, whether we like it or not. e.g. Colour - Color. Tyre - Tire. etc. You get my point?

What I would like to add is that we seem to have a thriving 'Folk Music' scene going in Britain that draws from the Irish, Scots, Welsh and English and all the counties, industries and trades in between- which is tremendous.

One thing has always puzzled me? How Welsh, Irish and Scottish singers- sing in English and sound better than the English? Go figure that one?

Cheers
John


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

These look good. How many of you guys have had these?


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