# Men's Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot - An Anthropological Thesis



## Toolz (Feb 26, 2008)

I received this from my brother-in-law and wanted to share…

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of running shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chic while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chic so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror…you still got it.
Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait, Beer & Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms'.

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.


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## papadan (Mar 6, 2009)

ROTFLMAO I've been through a few of those phases.


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## MoreWoodPlease (Sep 17, 2009)

I think I started it backwards.


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## Russel (Aug 13, 2007)

I'm not in my 80's yet.


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## GaryC (Dec 31, 2008)

Dang, I'm a decade ahead of myself…


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## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Lordie,lordie, that's funny!!!!!!!!! Don't worry guys, it's coming, trust me. I dread hitting the 70's and on!!!!
I think I remember that woman at Wal Mart-- she looks kinda familiar!! Keep on keeping on!


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## Seer (Jun 5, 2008)

Been there done that and still have a ways to go.
Thanks for making me laugh on this Friday


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## JJohnston (May 22, 2009)

Mine's always been "just get in the truck and go get what you need and get out of there." I've never been good-looking or popular enough to worry about what the girl at the register thinks.

My dad, on the other hand, is 70, and won't go if he's wearing his grubby clothes. He won't even go to the one in my neighborhood, much less his. Go figure.


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## mgoins (Nov 2, 2009)

Was pretty funny - til I realized I'm running a decade ahead of schedule…

Thanks for sharing


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## Timbo (Aug 21, 2008)

That's just not right…..............hahahahahahaha!


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## FJDIII (Dec 20, 2007)

Went out in my 20's like you described here your 40's! Minus the sucking and flexing of course. Figured if I saw that hotty and she was digging me in the grungy construction worker look, there may be a snow ball's chance in hell! LOL


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## jockmike2 (Oct 10, 2006)

Yea, I'm 59 and been like 60 for about 6 years now. That ain't funny. But is in a way. If you can laugh at yourself and I've been doing that for a long time.


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Funny stuff I'm still trying to find the store ,what was the name of that place agian?


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

now i just ask them if they want to have lunch ,
when they give me my change ,

we could do taco bell !

at least they laugh .

wow , i still got it !


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## SteveMI (May 19, 2009)

I'm on track for the 50's except I don't have a dog. Not sure about losing my hat in the 60's because it became important in the 40's due to sun, rain or cold on the bare spot.

My HD register gals are past being candidates for Hooters, but if I knew they had a cabinet saw…

Steve.


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## sophie (May 21, 2009)

Maybe I'm partial to his charm, but when we make a run to the Home Depot, IMHO, my guy is always the greatest looking male in the store, no matter what his age or what he is or isn't wearing or what he might still have hanging off his shoes! And because I've come along for the ride, that cute chick at the checkout had better keep her eyes on the register, because I'm buying a chain saw and I know how to use it! (Kidding, I'd just give her an icy stare and gloat!)


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## End_Grain (Oct 23, 2009)

I want to know which HD has a cute, spicy or hot girl at the register?


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## 9FINGERTIM (Feb 1, 2013)

In my 60S 1 wear whatever my wife tells me to wear cause shes goingi with me to check the mark down paint and make sure i dont buy any extra stuff


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