# humor, jokes, satires, etc. etc. etc.



## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

So perhaps the latest flap over a joke-- which I took as a joke-- is the time to suggest another category for the forum. "Jokes, etc." This part would be for all those things that we each think is funny, outside of the Coffee Lounge. Then each LJ would be able to post their jokes and the other LJs would be able to read or not to read. That way if there is any chance that someone makes a joke about me, my minority status, my size, the size of my particular endowments, my singlehood, where I shop, what I eat, my choice of state in which I live, my profession, etc. be it George Carlin style or Jay Leno style, they can do so knowing that I won't be offended. Then those who would like to read it can and get a good laugh at my expense and those who don't want to take a chance at being offended can avoid the whole thing.

The responses then would be,,,,, LOL, LMAO,  or boo that was bad, instead of any political, religious or sensitivity issues being a problem. Any such responses would be banned--if you don't like the joke don't respond. If you like the joke - respond.

This leaves the coffee lounge for things like the story about that pesky squirrel that found its way into my bedroom, or the funny thing your dog did, or heaven forbid the weather. (yeah - it's really hot here.)

Not sure if this is possible or if it would take up too much bandwidth. But I'm thinking that it may help solve hurt feelings along the way and keep the focus on woodworking.

Just my 2 cents-- spend it wisely.


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## lew (Feb 13, 2008)

Betsy,

Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't even need to make this suggestion.

What has happened to everyone's sense of humor? Are we that narrow minded and insecure about ourselves that we need to lash out at every opportunity to point out how someone has, once again, wronged another group.

Ow!, fell of my soap box.

Yes, sign me up for the joke category.

Lew


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## Russel (Aug 13, 2007)

I'm sorry Betsy, but I just don't have enough time to make jokes about you or your minority status or your size or your endowments or your marital status or where you shop or what you eat or where you live or what you do for a living. I'm sure that my inability to makes jokes at your expense is a disappointment to you just as it is to me, but it's a burden we all must live with. I'm not perfect. So I guess you'll just have to make your own jokes about you or your minority status or your size or your endowments or your marital status or where you shop or what you eat or where you live or what you do for a living. I just can't.

And now that I've removed my tongue from my cheek, let me say that I always thought the coffee lounge was for the place for non-woodworking topics, including jokes.

As for me, I'll take my 2 cents plain. (That's a joke for some of us older folks).


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

I like the idea in principle, Betsy, but I'm willing to bet that even if you called it "enter at your own risk" some folks would still make a flap if something rubbed them the wrong way.

By the way, tell me all about your marital status, endowments, etc. so I start working on some jokes. (I'm pretty bald and my nose is kinda funny, if you'd care to prepare some retaliatory remarks.) <g> My wife is half Cajun abd half Italian, so there is some good ammunition for her, too!


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## sbryan55 (Dec 8, 2007)

Thanks Betsy. I have not been able to spend the usual time here that I have been in the past and completely missed this one. But I did finally track it down and followed the threads.

I am not sure that another category is the answer here. For posts like the one that you are referring to there will be some who will take offense at them no matter where the blog is posted. I tend to be pretty easy going and fairly laid back about most things. So I guess my answer is that if something is found to be offensive just stop reading it. I have found that I can control the behaviors and attitudes of only one person on this planet- Me. I really don't get upset about anything "controversial" that is being posted by other members. So what Betsy, GaryK or any of the other 4761 individuals post or write about here, I feel, is largely up to them.

Just my $0.02 worth


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## grumpycarp (Feb 23, 2008)

The problem with this well intentioned idea (of adding another forum) is that probably most folks (like myself) check in on the "pulse" without editing their preferences and as such see all recent posts without regard to their "category" and adding another filter won't do much good. Everyone sooner or later is bound to be confronted with a dissenting point of view, no matter how careful or well intentioned the moderators. Deal with it.

I personally don't care for religious proselytizing, promoters of Golden Retrievers as the"One True Dog(ma)", hand tool only wonks, and members of the John Birch Society, but that's just me. Your mileage may vary . . .

I will still check in from time to time. I will still laugh, be amazed, be disgusted, be sympathetic, be affronted, etc. Just like anytime I leave the house, stay in, engage or ignore the rest of the world. I figure that if you aren't offending or being offended at least on occasion, you're probably not living up to your potential ;-)


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## dennis (Aug 3, 2006)

Hay grumpy…WHATS WRONG WITH GOLDEN RETRIEVERS!


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Just when you think you have found a nice community, someone goes and makes a nasty remark about golden retrievers. I suppose you are some sort of poodle snob!

Dennis, next thing you know they'll be discriminating against ex-drunks with beards!


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## grumpycarp (Feb 23, 2008)

O.M.G. Water collies and Freedom Poodles. LOL!

So far dogs 2, tools/J.B. 0, tools/hand 0

just for those keeping score


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

oh well - just a thought-- Charlie-- why did you have to tell Dennis about my beard? Sure am glad I don't have a golden retriever-you guys are harsh!


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

ROTFL!


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## Harold (Nov 13, 2007)

I have no idea what you all are talking about but I love it…consider just for a moment how many people now share this community…and how well everyone generally gets along. It may take alittle effort but it's worth it.


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## Hrolfr (May 12, 2008)

Is that a fat man in a kilt joke???


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## Chip (Mar 13, 2007)

If you look at the overall depth of woodworking information and knowledge available on this site and compare it to a few questionable comments like "the joke", or Odie's comments (still not sure what these were… but would like to), or Betsy's "endowments" (ok, ok, I don't know these either), or Charlie's beard and nose thing (just teasin ya Charlie!) or Dennis's Golden Retriever fetish or hmmmmmm, there really IS alot of crap on this site isn't there? I say we burn it down.

;-0

Ohhhh, for all of you who don't get that that was tongue-in-cheek and I was joking here, please know that it was tongue-in-cheek and I was joking here. If you still don't get it, send all of your e-mail complaints to Charlie c/o CharlieM1958 ;-)


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## Karson (May 9, 2006)

Mine all of the good lumber here before you burn it down.


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## MrWoody (Jan 25, 2008)

Betsy, I thought that jokes and such belonged in the "Coffee Lounge" forum. I also don't think it matters where jokes and such are posted, there is always someone, somewhere, willing to drag their soap box in.


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## Chip (Mar 13, 2007)

Oh, and I forgot Karson's wood fetish. Sorry Karson. ;-)


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## matt1970 (Mar 28, 2007)

Due to inflation--My four cents are: betsy…good idea…most people enjoy the jokes…or move on…but once in a while someone is offended--WHich if people have the right to joke about something openly then we need to remember people have the right to object openly…

WIth the "joke" forum…i think it would reduce the few times when a "pile on" happens…

But grumpycarp is right--many people hit a blog/forum off the pulse…thus they find it without seeing a category…

So…good idea…if it keeps the peace…why not try it…

and in his famous words…"Cant we all just get a long?" You can keep my 4 cents if you can name what infamous person said that…


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## Chip (Mar 13, 2007)

Damn, is that an icon with a guy up there in a dress? That beats Dennis's Golden Retriever fetish hands down. The site is really out of control now. Sure hope a media control guy isn't watching this.

Maybe we could have a rating system like the movies have. You know, PG - PG 13 - R - X - XX - XXX. Everytime you make a post unrelated to doing strange things with a piece of wood, you would post the rating in front of the title. This way a media control guys kids will know not to look at that post. Wait, actually if I know kids, it will make them want to look at it more. Scratch this idea. Sorry media control guy.

(ok, this was a joke also. If anyone is offended, as always, please send your complaints to Charlie at yada yada yada)


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## lazyfiremaninTN (Jul 30, 2007)

Napaman…....That would be Mr. Rodney King


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## matter (Jan 30, 2008)

By the very nature of a joke, someone will be offended.

I like a good laugh, I laugh at Irish jokes, (My last name is McGuire) I laugh at Canadian jokes, I have a golden retriever- they are kind of like a joke with four legs, make fun of 'em all you want.

If I happen to ever come up with a joke that's acceptable for posting, I hope most people get a laugh, and the ones that get offended should come up here to Canada so we can show you how to relax.

Basically, if you don't think something is funny- move on.


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## FlWoodRat (Sep 12, 2007)

Jokes? I can't post mine. You'd never stop laffing. You ask, what could possibly be so funny? How about a photograph (from behind) of a wood turner wearing only a shop apron, turning a spindle? Jusk kidding, I sold my lathe a long time ago. See, even the concept has you laughing. Admit it and move on.


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## Hrolfr (May 12, 2008)

Chip… it's a kilt…... not a dress….. that is too far!!!! you know why it's called a kilt….. cause I kilt the last guy that called it a dress  LOL

and now stealing chips disclaimer
Ohhhh, for all of you who don't get that that was tongue-in-cheek and I was joking here, please know that it was tongue-in-cheek and I was joking here. If you still don't get it, send all of your e-mail complaints to Chip


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## JimB (Oct 14, 2007)

It is getting to the point that anything said by anyone will offend someone, some where.(sarcasm)
Maybe no one should talk to anyone, anywhere at any time. ( again sarcasm)
If a person doesnt like a joke or finds something offensive, ignore it. A person has all the power needed to control what they read. A lot of people didnt like George Carlin, I thought he was a comic genius. People think Jerry Seinfeld is the same, I dont get him at all, so guess what, I dont watch him. The point is, you control what you want to see or watch.

Now as to the kilt Hrolfr, do you where it properly, you know commando style???? ;o


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## GaryK (Jun 25, 2007)

I thought that men wore kilts because sheep could hear a zipper from a mile away?

Just a joke, A! ("A" is Canadian for "duh")


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## HokieMojo (Mar 11, 2008)

what about taking the coffee lounge out of the pulse? That way it really becomes the woodworking pulse instead of a site pulse? My guess is most people won't like this but maybe its worth asking.


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## wpreman (Mar 27, 2008)

I agree with JimB. Martin should not have to make any changes or do something special. Good grief ignore it and move on!


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## boboswin (May 23, 2007)

Maybe it would be easier if we set up a small area for the easily offended and often critical folks where they could come together to scold the rest of us semi privately. <vbg>
Then we would not necessarily have to read their comments and not have to respond to them in midstride either.

On the other hand, they could always develop a website of their own and make lots of rules there.

Just tryin to help.

Bob


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

LMAO at Gary's kilt joke!!!

Bob #2, I think you may be on to something. Rather than segregate the jokes, we should just have a special area for whining and complaining.


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## bhack (Mar 19, 2008)

I agree with JimB also.

I am from the hills of East Tennesse so I guess I am a Hill Billy and a ***********************************. I am not offended by….
Gotta go Pa and I are studying for *our* 3rd grade math test.

Please lighten up world. Lets take the word *OFFENDED* out of the dictionary.


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## RobS (Aug 11, 2006)

"so a dude and his giraffe walk into a bar…."

shoot, with my smart mouth, (er. or.. smart typing) I'd have to enter all my posts under this proposed joke section, all of my projects are a joke..

Honestly and seriously, the coffee lounge works fine for me for jokes or any other "water cooler" talk.


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## Josh (Aug 14, 2007)

I'm offended that people get offended, and that i'm sure that will offend someone!


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## 2 (Feb 26, 2006)

Jokes fit nicely into the Coffee Lounge forum. I agree that there is no way to assure that nobody will get offended ever… we'd need to stop posting online and stop talking offline 

I think that our new posting rules are perfect core guidelines, and one of them is - Don't get personal. A good general rule to follow is, "criticize ideas, not people".

Just my 2 cents… no need for separate forum. Just don't overdo it of course


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## boboswin (May 23, 2007)

I agree Martin.
Civility should be the rule.

Understanding other people usually leads to good friendships and pleasant encounters.
I try to overlook the "shortcomings" of my friends rather than having to go through my life without them. <g>

Bob


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## Hrolfr (May 12, 2008)

All I ahve to say is…..










and to Glenk…. well stealth is on reason for a kilt Scottland where men are men and the sheep are scared…. but here is yet another reason for a kilt  one that has applied to me more then once LOL


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

OK--just thought I'd float an idea out there.

So doesn't anyone want to make fun of me….. ???? Please-- I need something to get my blood pressure up!


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## tenontim (Feb 24, 2008)

Now, Betsy, since I don't know anything about you, in regards to the list of things you started this blog with, just remember- spandex is a privilege, not a right.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Tim--you have to work harder than that to get my blood going - but it's a start!

Geez--can't believe I'm inviting people to pick on me.


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## ChicoWoodnut (Dec 15, 2007)

It's a sign that you are comfortable in your own skin (however much there is of it)

^o^


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

That comes back to spandex being a privilege not a right.


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## Grumpy (Nov 9, 2007)

Don't take it too hard Betsy, I thought the idea was OK.


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## odie (Nov 20, 2007)

*Betsy, Here's looking at you kid.*










*Keep up the good work*


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## pashley (Mar 22, 2008)

Wow, I like that pic, Odie!

Ok, here's some fat jokes - and I can make them, because I am "weight-challenged".

I'm so fat, when I walk across the room, the radio skips.
I'm so fat, when I cut my leg, I bled gravy.
I'm so fat, I've got pesos in one pocket, and euros in the other.
I'm so fat, when I wear a tux, I look like outer space.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

oooooh Patrick those are good. I've never heard those. Will have to keep some of those in my "to use" file.

that's some pic Odie.


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## Sawdust2 (Mar 18, 2007)

If you really want to get Betsy's goat you need to be sexist.

Either that or harass her about power tools and little boxes.

Lee


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

That would probably do it!


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

I'd try that sexist thing, Lee, but I'm not sure it could apply in this case. You see, I've checked out Betsy's projects, and she's pretty darned good….... for a woman. (((((((ducking and running)))))))))


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## Sawdust2 (Mar 18, 2007)

LMAO

Lee


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## YorkshireStewart (Sep 20, 2007)

Following the kilt discussion, I felt I just had to share this though I may be at risk of being de-frocked. Close your eyes if easily offended. It's a Scottish bar stool.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Charlie--you are both impressed by my work and scared of me as a person--- perfect!

Wow - Stewart-- really am LMAO! There really is a place for everything there isn't there!


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## teenagewoodworker (Jan 31, 2008)

YS that is an awesome picture!


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## odie (Nov 20, 2007)

*Stewart I bow to your superior HUMOR …. PREFECT!*


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## Chip (Mar 13, 2007)

Wonderful Stewart. I had no idea you could be so ummmmm, controversial. ;-O Love it.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

I guess now the mystery is gone concerning what is under a Scotsman's kilt!


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## YorkshireStewart (Sep 20, 2007)

Phew! Hope I didn't upset anyone! BTW It's not my work; just a pic that a lady in Canada sent to me.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

By the way, Stewart, just how did you run across a photo of Hillary Clinton's throne?

(Oh heck, I'm already in a world of trouble. What do I have to lose?)


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## Hrolfr (May 12, 2008)

Stewart I need one of those stools ….....


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## Grumpy (Nov 9, 2007)

Have you tried it Stewart?.


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## odie (Nov 20, 2007)

Stewart, does the stool come in a larger size?


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## ropedog (Mar 26, 2008)

hey stewart i love the pic. i need to build one of those for those really hot days in the shop. you guys know what i'm talkin about.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

You guys are just nuts about this stool aren't you…....


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Ohhhhh Betsy…... you didn't just go there, did you? ROTFL!


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## ropedog (Mar 26, 2008)

yes she did.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

go where?


> ?


 Get your mind out of the gutter Charlie-- geez--I'm a lady I am….. 

heee-- I'm really a little _ well you fill in the blank (but be careful!)


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## JimB (Oct 14, 2007)

Was it done freehand, or was a pattern made first? :0


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

I actually looked up the history of this particular stool. It was originally built by a female woodworker for her husband, and she sized the carvings from memory. The man took one look, grabbed his tools, and enlarged everything to protect his reputation.


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## FlWoodRat (Sep 12, 2007)

Protect his reputation or protect his *ass*ets?


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## Grumpy (Nov 9, 2007)

Thats more than a handfull of comments Jocks. I see Stewart has gone very quiet, are you shocked Stew?.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Wow-- 700+ views. I had no idea that this little post would garner so much attention. Of course, it could be that stool….


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## wirgit (Mar 19, 2008)

If you look at that stool upside down, it's half an apple, complete with seeds and a stem.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Now this post is getting cleaned up. I see what you mean Earle. Stewart had the stool upside down. All these other guys need to get their minds on apples. Thanks for cleaning this up.


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## odie (Nov 20, 2007)

Apples? I thought it was twigs and berries.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Bad Odie, very bad Odie--


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## pokieone (Jun 29, 2008)

Betsy that is a good thought in theory. However, this isn't about the joke or a joke, but about control issues. These people will come in and continue their attack on the forum. The problem isn't about the joke; it's about some people trying to enforce their control issues on other people. Also, don't be fooled by the "polite attempt of control" were someone tries to enforce their will over others in a polite and friendly manner. What hubris is it when one tries remake a group of people into his idea of humanity. As far as I know, there was only one God-man who could do such a thing, and the joke hater isn't it!


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## Taigert (Nov 20, 2007)

It is so sad that the majority of us who just want to have a little fun in life are hounded by a few who try there best to complain about everything they can, our PC society is ruining this country. I wish they would climb back under their rocks and stay there. It has to stop!!!!!
I had better just leave it at that, it just gets my blood boiling!


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## odie (Nov 20, 2007)

*It's fun to be BAD !*


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## Michael121 (Jun 30, 2008)

In the US the Constitution guarantees "FREE SPEECH" it does not however guarantee the right NOT TO BE OFFENDED.

The problem is that we people have allowed, over the years, the victim status to ruin good fun.

Anyone anywhere can be offended by anything at anytime, it is too bad we have to worry about what we say and that we may be overheard and that someone's feelings get hurt. Does not matter if that was our intention.

People sue for their own mistakes always blaming someone else, it can't be my fault I'm a victim.

Big oil, Big Medicine, Big Lawnmower, Big Saw, Big Hammer….etc…..

I was putting in some subflooring in a new bathroom I hit my thumb 8 times over that with a 20 ounce hammer, on the eigth time blood shot out, I guess I should have sued the hammer maker (no guard) or the nail maker (too short) or maybe I should have just said , OUCH, a few other choice words and moved on.

My nail grew back. I lived.

Life is way too short to go around being mad at everything and everyone. Lighten up ….

Did yo hear the one about the guy…....


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## Raymondz (Jul 4, 2008)

Sounds about right to me, Mike.


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