# The final FINAL attempt



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

The final FINAL attempt arrived in the mail yesterday. I was wondering when it would finally arrive. This latest one is the final attempt not to be confused with the 29,486 final attempts that they've sent me thus far. This one is it unless they send me another final attempt next month in which case this month's final attempt was the final FINAL attempt prior to the actual final attempt that would arrive next month. Got it?


----------



## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

LOL


----------



## Lazyman (Aug 8, 2014)

if you would take the required action, maybe they would finally stop.


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

hahahaha … LOL … I DID take action. I brought home another FREE flashlight and tape measure. And my wife said, "Dear … PLEASE, ... NO MORE FREE FLASHLIGHTS or TAPE MEASURES! You have them all over the house."


----------



## hairy (Sep 23, 2008)

You wouldn't believe how many HF 18" bar magnets I have, and I have coupons for more.


----------



## corelz125 (Sep 23, 2015)

Go for the free batteries next if you have kids or grandkids you always need aa or aaa batteries


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

Uh oh … a NEW ultimatum! This sounds like we're gettin' serious now. What happens if everything DOESN'T go? Then what? Do we get what remains for free?


----------



## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

I am going to inquire about getting the display shelves, everything must go right?

LOL


----------



## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

Don't bother with those "free" batteries….they last about as long as a Congressman's promises


----------



## lew (Feb 13, 2008)

> Don t bother with those "free" batteries….they last about as long as a Congressman s promises
> 
> - bandit571


Hahahahaha!


----------



## corelz125 (Sep 23, 2015)

kids and remote control toys i'll take any battery you want to give me for free


----------



## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

> Don t bother with those "free" batteries….they last about as long as a Congressman s promises
> 
> - bandit571


ROFL


----------



## msinc (Jan 8, 2017)

This is a hilarious post!!! Sometime when you have nothing else to do and need a laugh google "Hazard Fraught Tools" and check out the flyer…..I like the Moron Light.


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

OK OK OK … I get it. They're always hammering away at me. I know. I need to HURRY. Free, Free, Free, Free, ... and their marketing emails always seem to convey a sense of urgency. If I DON'T hurry, all this FREE &^%$#@ will be gone, ... of course unless you realize that there will be yet another FREE coupon campaign come first thing Monday morning.

And I don't know WHY I do this. You'd think I would have learned by now. But I always read the coupon disclaimer. "Cannot be used with any of the following: Inside Track Club membership, Outside Track Club membership, Jenny Craig Weight Loss Membership, Extended Service Plan, gift card, open box item, closed box item, 3 day parking lot sale item, compressors, floor jacks, safes, saw mills, pepper mills,storage cabinets, chests or carts, trailers, trenchers, welders, frying pans, Admiral, Ensign, Petty Officer, Ames, Bauer, Cobra, Rattler, Python, CoverPro, Daytona, Indianapolis, Earthquake, Tremor, Fisher, Hercules, Achilles, Medusa, Icon, Jupiter, Mars, Saturn, Lynxx, Poulan, Predator (convicted or otherwise), Tailgator, Viking, Vulcan, Zurich, Copenhagen, anything colored red, yellow, blue, orange, green or violet, anything with a dry weight over .00001 oz, anything that smells like rubber tires, anything not nailed down to the shelf, or anything else that is not listed here that should be listed here but isn't."

I don't know about you but I always hold out hope that someday my ship will come in and the FREE coupon will read, "This is it! This is the BIG ONE! EVERY damn thing in the store is free. Yep! You read that correctly. EVERYTHING. NO stupid EXCLUSIONS! Go ahead. Knock yourself out. C'mon in. But hurry, coupon only valid until March 3, 2145." But, that just doesn't seem like that's gonna ever happen. Anybody need a nice HF tape measure? I'll sell ya' one, cheap …


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

Here we go again. Would someone please get me Noah Webster on the phone please … My command of the English lexicon has apparently waned. I guess "EVERYTHING" doesn't really mean "EVERYTHING". If everything really meant everything, then everything would have been sold the last time and there'd be nothing left to sell this time. But, happily, I still see and smell loads of stuff in my local HF store. So I guess the last sale flyer that specified "Everything" really didn't mean EVERYTHING but probably sorta only most of everything, but not EVERYTHING. Now I got it. The saga of the Harbor Freight sale flyers continues … And that's EVERYTHING I have to say on that topic… unless until the next time when and if there's more to say …


----------



## Tennessee (Jul 8, 2011)

You must have missed the latest one - the UNBELIEVABLE 25% off sale this coming Easter Weekend, so if you are not involved in your faith, you can go down to HF and save yet another 5% instead of the regular 20%.
Exceptions included, of course.

Personally, I feel sorry for the folks who have to work there on Easter Sunday.


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)




----------



## TheFridge (May 1, 2014)

Sound like the credit card relief call I get every other day. I keep telling them to fuk off but they just keep coming back.


----------



## CaptainKlutz (Apr 23, 2014)

hmm… 
I went to HF recently to get some disposable gloves. It was parking lot sale weekend. Usually parking lot sales have merchandise stacked to ceiling, stuff out on sidewalk, and 50% of time even a tent in parking lot.
This time was different. 
Store seemed 1/2 empty. Shelves had open space. Sidewalk bins were practically empty and it was really worst of worst junk( socket sets missing sockets, etc). About only shelves over loaded with merchandise was the newer premium high end stuff; Bauer power hand tools, Vulcan Welders, and expensive automotive jacks. Even the hand tool isle with sockets had 20% of shelf hooks were either empty, or had duplicate items. 
My first thought was maybe this store might be closing, or there was shortage of employees, but they had plenty of people in store.
I also noticed some new colors and labeling in a few places. At time I didn't think to take a picture, but found freebie flashlights with old nondescript yellow/while cards, and some with nice blue color and new brand name. There were several items showing both old packaging and new brand name packaging.

I wonder, 
if maybe HF is really trying to get rid of everything old? 
With all new premium brands being added, could they really be cleaning warehouses out, to make room for better tools. 
HaHa, ignore my observations. It is probably just new packaging so they can raise prices.

Back to cutting some wood….


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

I suppose I should, out of fairness, thank Harbor Freight for improving my English language vocabulary. When I saw this latest flyer in my email inbox, I had to look up the word "CLOSEOUT" and see exactly what that meant.

*noun: closeout - a sale of goods at reduced prices to get rid of superfluous stock.* 
Now I was really confused. What does the word "SUPERFLUOUS" mean? So I went one step further and looked that up.

*adjective: unnecessary, especially through being more than enough.
synonyms: surplus , nonessential, redundant, unneeded, excess, extra, remaining, unused, left over, in excess, waste, unnecessary, uncalled for, unwarranted*

So c'mon in to the Harbor Freight Inventory Closeout where you can buy all kinds of unnecessary, surplus , nonessential, redundant, unneeded, excess, extra, remaining, unused, left over, in excess, waste, unnecessary, uncalled for, and unwarranted STUFF! I love it! Looks like Zippy the Chimp and the rest of the primates on his corporate marketing team are doing a great job.


----------



## MrRon (Jul 9, 2009)

I saw on Craigs list guys are selling the free HF flashlights and tape measures. I wonder who would be dumb enough to buy them when they can get them free.


----------



## Jim Jakosh (Nov 24, 2009)

What would we do without Harbor Freight!! I sure have a lot of their stuff and some it is pretty good for infrequent use, some of it is unfinished and if you work on it to bring it up to your standard, it runs okay and some of it is crap. I must have 10 tarps, 12 VOM meters, a mini lathe, a midi lathe, a right angle drill I use on the lathe for sanding, a floor jack, a 1300lb electric hoist that I love and use all the time, an led head lamp, lots of tubes of 2 part epoxy and about 20 of the free flashlights that I use all the time….plus many more things I can't think of right now…oh and I bought a wire welder in Arizona but their wire is one of the crap things!!

cheers, Jim


----------



## MichaelDismukes (May 9, 2018)

Great post!


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

Oh wow! This is FANTASTIC! An actual SALE at HF just for mom. I'm thrilled. Mother's Day can certainly put one's gift giving skills to the test. Think about it. Mom does SO much for the family. Cooking, cleaning, care taking, preparing daily meals, endless loads of laundry, grocery shopping, administering cold medicines, applying bandages to playground boo-boos, ... it's an endless list. So what better way to do something special for mom. Candy? Flowers? A spa treatment? Hair salon? Shopping spree for a new dress? A romantic weekend getaway with dad? ..... FORGET IT! We're talkin' the REAL DEAL here! The Harbor Freight Mother's Day sale! The perfect gift for mom. ..... I'm sure mom is gonna be thrilled. Happy Mother's Day mom from Harbor Freight. Would you like the pink colored 80 gallon air compressor or the Vera Bradley commemorative metric socket set?


----------



## Steamboat_Willie (Jan 20, 2013)

Wow! Look at this! Now this is exciting. Not only a "sale" but a HUGE "FREE" event at that. And to make it even more-better than last time, there are LOADS of FREE … F-R-E-E coupons. The SAME "FREE" coupons that they've been offering since the beginning of time. Cave men and Neanderthals even used these coupons! I'm tellin' ya' ... If this doesn't motivate you to uncontrollably drop everything and run to your nearest Harbor Freight store and open your wallet, nothing will.


----------

