# A funny thing happened while I was getting supplies...



## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

I think some of it is the area in which I live, woodworkers are not in high quantity where I live. It seems that innocent trips to the store for a thing or two will sometimes lead to amusement for me, confusion for all.

Last summer I was working on a project and bought a couple cans of paint. I was a little confused when they wanted my driver's license.

"What do you need my license for?"

"So we can discourage people from sniffing paint"

"People who sniff paint don't have driver's licenses?"

"No, we write down the information and notify the authorities if you buy a lot of it."

"I am a woodworkier. Shouldn't everyone just assume I am using paint to, I don't know, paint wood?"

"Not around here."

And so it goes. I have a rap sheet for being a notorious paint user. I would have thought this would make home depot happy…

Yesterday, I was approached by a very sweet and well meaning lady in the pharmacy department because of the quantity of bottles of Mineral Oil I picked up. It would seem that she was concerned about my regularity. When she was recommending prunes, I was trying to figure out how they could be used to protect a cutting board and thought I was going to learn a secret technique. She was a little embarrassed after I explained.

What strange conversations have you had when you were out and about?


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## mojapitt (Dec 31, 2011)

Yea, I have had a few conversations with people and got the deer in the headlights look. They seem to think it's magic and not hard work that makes a piece beautiful. Ugh!


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## TedW (May 6, 2012)

I was at the lumber yard once when somebody was arguing that the 2×4s were 1 1/2×3 1/2. He was serious.. he wanted "real" 2×4s and the yard guy was trying to explain to him about nominal dimensions.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

That is hillarious Ted. The fellow probably was fuming after leaving the grocery store with a 12oz bag of chips and a six pack of 11 1/4 oz beers and thought the lumberyard was taking their turn.


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## crank49 (Apr 7, 2010)

My business partner and I were picking up some supplies for our store at the next door Home Depot. He placed two quarts of denatured alcohol on the checkout. The clerk informed him, "We can't sell you two of those". He turned to me and handed me one of the quarts. Then the clerk, obviously bewildered with this "end run" around the rules said, "I don't think that works either. Y'all are together." To which I said "Would it make you feel better if I move back to the end of the line. Then we wouldn't be together." This was okay. Go figure.

All this made me curious as to why I couldn't buy two quarts of alcohol; my Dad used to buy 10 gallons at a time when he was a hardwood floor finisher. Turns out it is an ingredient used in making Meth.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

Now I am beginning to understand why people look at me strange when I am out. People in my town think I am a constipated meth manufacturer with an addiction to sniffing paint. I guess that is the most logical assumption


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

Here I can't buy a can of spray paint, varnish, shellac, or primer off of the shelf as it is all kept in a locked cabinet. I know this is to discourage taggers but here is the funny thing; if and underage boy/girl wants to buy out of this cabinet they need a note from there *mother* ... *not father* only notes from the *mother are accepted*.

I was in line behind a man and boy and the boy as buying a can of spray paint. The clerk ask for a note the boy said this is my dad. The clerk had to ask for ID to prove that the man was actually the boy's father!

I think this had gotten a little out of control!

*But it is funny!*


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

Truly hillarious, in a very sad kind of way 

I run into frustration with that whole "mother knows best" thing. I can understand why women were not amused by the way they were represented by media in the 50's.

I did have one humorous moment when I had my oldest over my shoulder and they wouldn't allow me to buy a six pack because the store had a zero tolerance policy of adults purchasing alcohol for minors. My kid was one at the time. I just looked at the clerk and said "seriously?"


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

My jaw is open, my eyes are "deer in the headlight". I've never heard these stories before! Really?

I'm still stuck on demanding the driver's license. I don't think they can do that, can they? Of course I guess they can just not sell you the product if you don't play by their rules.

And then the "note from the mother" YES!! That's so awesome, strange, funny… what??? 

And to David, the constipated meth manufacturer with an addiction to sniffing paint, I can say "I knew you when you were just a woodworker."


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

oh, and *oldnovice*-I'm going to quote your story if you don't mind. 
I have a new G+ Community about empowering women and this story fits perfectly.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

When I really lose it Debbie, you might catch a glimpse of me during one of those New York New Years broadcasts. I will be the fellow streaking past the camera, holding a 64 oz. pop, a cigarette in my mouth, and flipping the camera off as I run by. I would be locked up for life, but I wouldn't care at that point 

The law for spray paint was geared to prevent graffiti. So you can't spray on buildings and subways unless you are an adult. Then it turned to issues involving paint sniffing. Large pops are not allowed to be sold in New York. You can't purchase more than two packets of allergy medicine or too much denatured alcohol due to meth labs. You can't wear a costume at movie theatres any more due to potential violence. Apparently, only people with makeup can potentially draw a gun. The rule of thumb is beginning to turn toward treating everyone like a potential fellon to prevent fellonies.

Irony is that I live in Michigan. I would make the trip to prove I am crazy


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## lumberdog (Jun 15, 2009)

I don't find it very funny OLDNOVICE, i find it kind of sad. Afew years ago i went to a local lumber yard to purchase some 2×4 s to build some porch railing, when i made the purchase then drove around back to the pile of lumber, a young man in his early twenties started putting the 2×4s in the back of my truck, The ones he was choosing were not straight and some were twisted, i told him to stop and take them back out of the vehichle because i needed better ones than that and i wanted to pick them. Then he asked me what i was going use them for and i told him i was building some railing for my porch and he says ( well then you don't want this stuff, we sell porch railing already made up, you can go back inside and choose what style you want ) then i told him i was designing my own and i needed the 2 X 4s and he said that he didn't think they could sell them to me for that purpose. I wound up getting the lumber after going back inside and reporting what had happened.


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## Bagtown (Mar 9, 2008)

Wow.
I just sent a link to this to a friend that works the desk at our local small town hardware store.
I think I like my little town.
I am apparently very naive to the ways of the big bad world.


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

I, too, love my small town/ rural world!


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

we have a 'no smoking' rule here in town
within 25' of any business

there are now lines of smokers
on the yellow line
down the middle of main st
puffing away

while cars full of 'the righteous do-gooders' 
and their lawyers cruise by
looking for violators


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

I got kicked out of a restaurant after the non-smoking bill went through here. I walked up to folks and made recommendations that they skip the cake and go with the salad. I thought since everyone was concerned about my health, I would repay the favor.

I learned my lesson  Kinda…


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## Howie (May 25, 2010)

State law in Florida…..NO warning shots are allowed. Either shoot the perp or don't draw your piece.
I'm a former smoker(3 packs a day for 32 years) but I think the no smoking in resturants is a good idea. Other places it's ridiculas. Same for the spray paint rule. I'm 66 y/o and still have to produce an ID.
Good post David
JMHO


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

All of our opinions should be humble Howie. If not, rest assured someone will come along and help make them so 

Thanks for the comment. I also agree that my habit should not ruin the meal of another. I just get a little nervous when I see snipers on top of buildings, ready to pull that trigger if I cross that line 

Just some days I picture a police dog sniffing my car and I am stuttering, trying to explain why my shoes have spray paint and stain on them and that can of denatured alcohol was previously opened.


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## roofner (Feb 24, 2012)

I'm 63 years old and look it cough like crazy and they proof me for cough syrup make sure I'm 21.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

Maybe they just thought the years of over the counter medicine abuse caught up to you roofner


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## MontanaBob (Jan 19, 2011)

Too funny…..sad in a way that it is….but then there are a lot of sad people out there…Skip the cake should be a movement


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## nailbanger2 (Oct 17, 2009)

I also like the no smoking in restaurants rule, unfortunately picked up my addiction in the service years ago, so I get a little agitated when I get comments and looks while smoking in the area the restaurant owner built for me and other smokers when that law went into effect. Excuse me, but since the weather is so nice and I decided to eat outside today, do you mind if I diminished your rights just a little more? Funny thing, I never get these looks when it's rainy or cold.


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

This thread is an eye opener for me. Of course I've heard of many of these rules/restrictions, but just have never encountered them. 
As some one previously commented, it must be because of the rural area where we live. Every one knows everyone else. When someone in town is constipated, everyone knows. And, no one is concerned about costumes around here. First of all, there are no movie theaters and secondly, everyone dresses sorta weird. 
And, most folks carry.


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## casual1carpenter (Aug 16, 2011)

On the meth / cold pill issue, I went to the drug store for cold pills having come down with something that gave me a really bad sinus headache. When the clerk came at me with attitude saying "I need to see ID," I politely handed her my TWIC card. She brought on her attitude again as she looked at it saying, "it has to be a state or federal issued ID," to which I replied that last time I looked, Homeland Security was a department of the federal government. Now the card has my picture, my name, and a even chip that allows access to a rather detailed background check if you have the right reader and pass codes.
Even with the screaming sinus headache it was rather fun to give her back her attitude rather than just show my drivers license.


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## BillWhite (Jul 23, 2007)

"constipated meth manufacturer with an addiction to sniffing paint"

Let's see…....Hmmmm?

Do I see the next 12 step organization on the horizon?

David, that was a REAL original. 
Bill


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

many examples of the rules forgetting the original intention and then when the rule becomes the intention and we forget about circumstances, about the people that they were implemented to protect, well.. shame on us


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## Howie (May 25, 2010)

@casualCarpenter, I like to give them my concealed carry permit (g)


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

While at a drug store I went to the check out to buy some rubbing alcohol and a bottle of soda, placing it on the counter an older gentlemen said that will kill you if you drink it ,I said soda and he said mixing the two together,I said who would do that. Then he called a manager over and said I was going to drink the two together what should they do. Even after explaining to the manager I had no intention of doing such an insane thing the manager said I could buy the rubbing alcohol but not the soda. In disbelief with my head spinning I went ahead and bought the rubbing alcohol, but as he handed me the receipt I thought I would fight back,so as I left I said the alcohol taste better straight up anyhow. As I was leaving this poor old guys blood had drained from his face and his jaw was wide open. What a world what a world.


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

I was going to buy a SINGLE box of Sudafed at the local grocery Pharmacy and they asked for my license as well. I declined the purchase and explained to the clerk that I DID NOT want some clerk to enter MY name in some Law Enforcement data base of criminals, or even "potential" criminals!

And I was sick at the time and actually NEEDED the medication! ERrrr…!


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## teejk (Jan 19, 2011)

thank goodness you don't need an ID to vote (otherwise you would be disenfranchised, whatever that means).


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## Christophret (Dec 2, 2012)

Crazy times we live in.
Bath salts are the epidemic here and are now illegal to sell or posess.
I mean c'mon, wtf in their right mind would stuff a pipe full of this crap and smoke it?
Redundant question I know…
It boils my blood to know such losers are out there every day,ingesting harsh chemicals for thrills. Truely Sad.
Actions such as mentioned in this thread are repulsive and the offenders should be gathered and placed on an island like lepers.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

As David Craig said you should skip the cake. If more of you skipped the cake you might have a shot at being Lance's "guy in the shop". You still have the "ugly" to contend with though. I'm working on that one for you all…


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## patcollins (Jul 22, 2010)

Wow and I thought it was funny being carded to buy a video game.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

Were you just buying a game Pat? Or were you also purchasing a bottle of isopropyl alcohol to wash it down with?

I believe there is a difference between protecting folks from danger and protecting us from life and ourselves. I remember when there was all this contention because Tom Cruise bought an ultrasound machine and was using it to check on his baby constantly. They made purchasing an ultrasound machine illegal to purchase for non medical reasons.

Seriously? This was going to be an epidemic?


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

there are a few things those star mucks do
that should be illegal

like pilotis maybe
('cept i don't even know what one is)

busybodies and gossipers 
have been around forever

but with the use of the net
and all the modern instant gizmos
it seems that everyone is now an instant expert
about any and everything 
they read or see on twitter or FB

and have an opinion about things they know nothing about
but just yammer to the authorities because they can now

makes them feel important i guess

regardless of the damage they do to others
like our schools jobs and lifestyles

so long as somebody notices
they feel they are contributing


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

A larger audience with much less effort. I think of McCarthyism. The hunting down of potential "spies" during the cold war. Good thing we didn't have the internet then. On facebook, there is the constant "like if you hate child abuse" or "like if you want a cure for cancer." "Make this your status for one hour if you want a cure for diabetes." What they really should be saying is "Posting this for one hour will not create a cure but it sure will depress a large number of people while this is up here."

Armchair activism. No work required.


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## JoeinGa (Nov 26, 2012)

I stopped at the convienence store/gas station last month and when I went in to pay for my gas there was an "older" gentleman at the register dressed in bib overalls and a t-shirt. As I approached I could hear him saying to the clerk "Look, all I need is a pack of Marlboros. I dont have my wallet so therefore I dont have my license. I'm 80 years old and I have been smoking since I was 12! Do you REALLY think I'm not old enough to bu cigarettes?"

Clerk…"I'm sorry sir, but if you look up over my head you'll see a camera. State law says that I have to check your id in order for you to buy beer or cigarettes. My manager has made it clear that if they check the tapes and catch us not checking id's we will be fired on the spot. So I dont care if you look 19 or 90, I MUST check your id to sell you these."

Hearing the frustration in his voice, I step closer and pull out MY drivers license. Holding it out toward the clerk I ask "Can I buy cigarettes?"

She looks first at my license, then my face and says "Yes sir I can sell them to you."

So I say "I'd like a pack of Marlboros please", and at the same time I take the 10 dollar bill the old gent is holding and give it to the clerk.

She hands ME the cigs and change and I hand the them to the guy. "Here you go sir, I hope you realize that this young lady is only doing her job. Have a nice day."

As he walks out talking to himself she touches my arm and says "Thank you sir. That was very kind of you."


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## teejk (Jan 19, 2011)

joe…more than one way to skin a cat but as you said, she was only following the rules. Buying beer at Walmart always beeps but they can waive it on a visual…but randomly they are required to ID. I always laugh and tell them that I'm only 12 and I dye my hair gray.


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## donwilwol (May 16, 2011)

its funny, the only time I was carded up until I was 50 is once when I was 17. Handed the guy my drivers license with the attitude he couldn't count anyhow, and I was right.


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## MT_Stringer (Jul 21, 2009)

I was buying a gallon of lacquer thinner at Lowe's and they asked me for my ID. I said "lady, I have been 21 for the last 42 years, why are you asking me such a rediculous question?" Y'all probably know the reason by now.

Note: I don't even look like a sniffer!


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## JJohnston (May 22, 2009)

Once (but just the once, for some reason), when I was buying spray paint at my local HD, the register beeped and the cashier said something like, "I'm required to inform you that tagging is illegal in this state blah blah blah…" I asked him if there was a state where it is legal. He said probably not. Plus the paint was clear.

I've told this one before, but it's too good not to repeat. I was buying chain some years back. The floor had those 12" vinyl tiles, and they had made marks on the seams with numbers, right below the chain cutter. I asked for 6', and the clerk put the end on the 1' mark and marked the cut on the 6. I let him cut it, then I told him (because I'm a stinker) that it was only 5'. He put it back on the floor, with one end on the 1 and the other on the 6, and said, "No, it's 6, see? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6." We argued some more (deer in the headlights when I told him you have to put the end on zero), so I asked for a manager with a tape measure. The manager put the tape on it, and it measured 5'! They couldn't understand it. I showed them that the end of the tape measure is zero, not 1. No dice. I put the tape on the floor with the numbers lined up with the marks on the tiles, and the chain at the end. They still didn't understand, and the manager finally said, "Give him an extra foot."

Here's a short one:
Me: Where's the glue?
Clerk: What kind of glue?
Me: Yellow wood glue.
Clerk: All the glues are on aisle 9.


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*MsDebbieP,* feel free to use the story, in fact it happened to the father/son in front of me at my local OSH, Orchard Hardware Supply, here in San Jose.

This is one of the best hardware chains in the country with origins as the supplier to all of the orchards that were here at one time.


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

*JJohnston, so what did you do with the extra foot? I think you should have used it to kick some butts in that store!*


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

"... I think of McCarthyism. The hunting down of potential "spies" during the cold war. ..."

The ONLY thing I would change would be the quotes:


I think of McCarthyism. The hunting down of *"potential"* spies during the cold war.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

Lets meet in the middle Mike with "potential spies"  I see where you are coming from, "potential" being the keyword that grants permission for the restriction of freedom to protect us good citizens from "potential" evil…


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## HorizontalMike (Jun 3, 2010)

**


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

They locked up the spray paint here for a little while a few years ago. I must have gotten to burdensome. It didn't last long. I still call it the "graffiti" zone ;-))

On the 2×4 thing. Remember when they were 1 3/4×3 3/4? ;-) Think they just want to use small logs ;-(


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## RussellAP (Feb 21, 2012)

I always sniff a little spray varnish before using very large saws, lol.


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

i also remember when they were 1 5/8" x 3 5/8"

for about a year all the layout guys
were wondering why the framing was off
since the lumber guys just did the change
without telling anyone


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

I guess they just took off an extra 1/8. I still think it was to use smaller logs! ;-)) I remember it being a real pain for a while.


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

Russ, Airplane glue is better for you and will keep you safer!


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## pintodeluxe (Sep 12, 2010)

I had a checker at Home Depot that made me sign a register to buy spray paint, duct tape, and glue. I thought it was rope, duct tape, and zip ties that looked shady!


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## oldnovice (Mar 7, 2009)

A checker at a large chain was checking out the guy in front of me and there was a divider between his stuff and mine. She picked up the divider looked all over it and finally asked the guy haw much this was. He said he really didn't want it anyway so she dropped it in the return merchandise bin. *I guess that around holiday season you get inexperienced checkers!*


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

I take it the shopper in front of you was feeling a little playful 

I was in a self checkout lane one time. One register was closed off by a large rack with a huge sign on it that said "out of order." I watched this guy move it like a football blocker on a practice dummy and he expressed surprise that the register didn't work. I went up to hand the cashier some bottle return slips and turned around to find the dude scanning his groceries on my order. It took about 15 minutes to straighten out who had what.


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

This fall, we had our basement finished and during the work, I was a regular at Home Depot. I'd usually go in to pick up something like switch plates or a door knob, but then casually walk past the tools, which would lead to a stroll into lumber and we all know how that goes.

I didn't realize the extent of my "problem" until the deadpan cashier announced in a loud voice, "Wow, you're here like ev-e-ry day."

The next day, I went to Home Hardware.


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## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

Many, many years ago, I worked for a contractor who specialized in gas station wiring. One day we were changing pumps on a station that had 4 or 5 islands. We had the power off to the island we were working on. My van and the plumber's truck were on one side and there was another truck or 2 with a compressor hooked to one of them on the other. The whole mess was surrounded by cones.

Some guy backs his car up to the end of the island we are working on and tries to use the end pump. We tell him it doesn't work. He asks why not? We asked if he saw the cones. He said he thought they were for the customers to weave through. WE told him all the others islands worked. He said he always used that pump. He got in his car and drove off without getting any gas.


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## donwilwol (May 16, 2011)

Several years ago I had a guy working for me as a laborer. He was a hard worker, but wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch. We were pouring a foundation into a very steep bank. The forms for the back wall was 16' down to the footings. One whaler stuck out well past the hole onto grade, so every time we walked around the outside, you'd trip over it.

Being there was no power on the site yet we were doing everything with a generator. I handed the guy a handsaw and told him to go cut that 2×4 off. A few minutes later I looked up and he was sitting in the middle of the 2×4, over top the concrete footing 16' down, cutting it Wiley coyote style.

I yelled stop just in time to prevent his demise, but decided since this wasn't his first similar episode, my insurance premiums didn't need that kind of help.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

Wile E. Coyote was a favorite of mine. Anyone else get paranoid that a train is going to come plowing out of nowhere when you cross a track where the lights come on due to a malfunction? I swear I spend five minutes just looking both ways before I cross.


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