# Obfuscatory Sesquepedalianisms



## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

I ripped this off another forum. Thought you all might enjoy and participate with your own.

Obfuscatory Sesquepedalianism #1
"There are a multitude of methodologies by which to divest the feline of its epidural enclosure". In other words, there's more than one way to skin a cat.


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## SST (Nov 30, 2006)

Just reading those words gives a simple guy like me a cephalalgia. -SST


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## sry (Jul 9, 2008)

I can't resist the classic:
One should multiply ascertain the dimension in question prior to engaging in any wood fiber severing activity
Measure twice, cut once


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## lew (Feb 13, 2008)

You guys are up the proverbial estuary with no visible means of motivation- Up S**T creek without a paddle


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## DanLyke (Feb 8, 2007)

I think I'm gonna say my bit before the feces impacts the rotary impeller.


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## North40 (Oct 17, 2007)

A mass of consolidated mineral matter tumbling end-over-end is unlikely to collect lower-order plant material (A rolling stone gathers no moss).


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## fredf (Mar 29, 2008)

If you guys don't watch it you may find your self at the headwaters of the legendary tributary without the proverbial means of locomotion! (up a creek without a paddle)

fred


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Should you find it impossible to gain an advantage over your adversaries sheerly by virtue of your superior reasoning abilities, perhaps your cause would be better served by attempting to create confusion through the introduction of irrelevant factoids reminiscent of bovine fecal matter.

(If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle 'em with b*s*.)


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## SST (Nov 30, 2006)

Oy!


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

You guys are super word smiths. 
Your posts have served to edify me greatly.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Heck, this is easy for me. Being on staff at a university, this is what every meeting sounds like when faculty are involved.


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## North40 (Oct 17, 2007)

Commercial construction specification sounds like this too …

A device suitable for outdoor seating, the overall dimensions of which shall be 72" wide, 36" high, 20" deep. The seating section of the device shall consist of two main parts: the "seat" and the "back", and shall be of wood segments which are each 5.25" x 1.75" x 72". The seat shall be 18" deep, 1.75" high, 72" wide, and fixed five (5) degrees from horizontal with the lowest edge 16" above grade. The back shall be 20" high, 1.75" deep, 72" wide, and fixed five (5) degrees from vertical, perpendicular to the seat, and aligning with the lowest edge of the seat. The base and framework of the device shall be of wrought metal, and shall be affixed at grade level with not less than four (4) tamper-resistant bolts with a shear strength of not less than 1000 lbs each. The entire device shall be coated with an outdoor grade weather resistant paint, the seat and back shall match color chip #3300313, the base and framework shall match color chip #0017510.

... yeah, a park bench.


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## North40 (Oct 17, 2007)

How about …
Refrain from discarding the human infant along with the soap and water mixture which was used to cleanse said infant.

Do not sequentially calculate quantities of domestic poultry prior to their emergence from their protective oval shells.

To each domestic canine belongs a single 24-hour period.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

LOL! Good ones, Peter.


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

CharlieM1958,
Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt and the snow globe. Eastern IL U, U of AZ.

Peter O,
Maybe this below should be stapled to those construction specs. and sent back to the ninny that wrote it.

Eschew obfuscation and do not engage in arrant pedantry of egregious sesquipedalianism.
Literal: Cut the B.S.


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## DanLyke (Feb 8, 2007)

"Been there. Done that." Wouldn't that be something more like: Perambulated to that location. Participated in the specified activity. Obtained the appropriately branded textile.


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

Dan….did you write those construction spec.s for PeterO?


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## DanLyke (Feb 8, 2007)

Grins. I've spent quite a bit of time recently writing specifications that are specific enough that the lawyers will sign off on 'em, but vague enough that I've got room to wiggle as the details of implementation become more clear.


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

Hmmm… I'm starting to sense some sort of relationship between woodworking and BS…...


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## FlWoodRat (Sep 12, 2007)

I for one prefer to eschew obfuscation. Otherwise it gets way too confusing.


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## Bureaucrat (May 26, 2008)

When preparing to give a presentation to a county board I passed my text to my boss for review. It came back with 2 comments. The first comment Obfuscate, obfuscate, obfuscate! The second was a margin note, "Fact weak here, bang on the table." A career was launched.


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

Charlie,
Frequent and repeated participation in solitary endeavors that involve exclusifying, segmenting, abrading, and congregating of cellular and fibrous substances, frequently produce and encourage mental activity conducive to oral and literary expressions which may be, after considered deliberation, conceptualized as male bovine excremental products.

Woodrat, 
For the last 30 years I've been totally obfuscated. Before that, I knew it all.

Bureaucrat,
I think I'd like your old boss.


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## GaryC (Dec 31, 2008)

Charlie, I know what you mean about the meetings. I taught at a University for several years. Some of us had a term for what went on in those meetings. IBS I = intellectual and everyone already knows what BS is
gary


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## Sawdust2 (Mar 18, 2007)

Illegitemi non carborundum

Lee


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## rowdy (Dec 22, 2008)

CharlieM1958. How well I can identify after working in academe for 40 years. Your comment about faculty meetings is right on the mark. In fact, I once created a new game to play during such meetings. It was called Bovine Scats bingo. To play, one listened for certain key BS words that I had placed in the BS bingo matrix. Words such as "retrenchment", "salary compression", "academic mission", "program review" and so on. I am sure you can add other obvious ones. When one completed a column or row one was entitled to shout "Bovine Scats". Well, maybe not shout. Say it under one's breath might be more accurate. Anyhow, my game was widely appreciated on campus. LOL


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## MsDebbieP (Jan 4, 2007)

LumberJocks are such intellectuals!


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

Aren't we, though?


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## GaryC (Dec 31, 2008)

They'll never grind me down!


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## GaryK (Jun 25, 2007)

You must all matriculate to keep your demonstrably humongous proboscis out of others entrepreneurial endeavors.

Maybe not!


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

When I first got on a committee which caused me to have to attend a lot of meetings with faculty, I thought "These people must really be brilliant, because I don't have a clue what they are talking about." It didn't take me long to figure out that they weren't really saying much of anything… just throwing around a combination of whatever the latest catch-phrases were. LOL!

No offense to any of you current/former faculty folks.


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## GaryC (Dec 31, 2008)

Like I told you Charlie, IBS


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## DanLyke (Feb 8, 2007)

I think we need to flagellate a cheerful communicator with the spiritual realms (strike a happy medium).


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## cpt_hammer (Dec 18, 2007)

Here's one from my academy days:

Q: How's the cow?

A: She walks, she talks, she's full of chalk. The lactile fluid extracted from the female of the bovine species is highly prolific to the nth degree?

Otherwords:
Q: How much milk left on the table (refering to the milk cartons)?

A: There's n number of milk cartons on the table


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