# Tested and true expressions.



## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

Just read a post by GrandpaLen in which he quoted "Ya wouldn't try to slice a tomato with an ax would ya?" 
Something told to him that obviously stuck with him. It made me think about the expressions I've heard that have stayed with me because I eventually realized how true they are. It seems to me that most of the good ones would apply to work in the shop.

One of my favourites is :"no matter how hard you try, you can't polish a turd"

Anyone else have a good one?

S


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## patron (Apr 2, 2009)

ah …. but as woodworkers

we can cast them in clear epoxy
and make paperweights
or key bobs with them

'mistakes are the best teachers'
(of course you do have to remember them)


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## whitebeast88 (May 27, 2012)

you can't teach common sense!!!!!!


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

I like the one's,one of my buddy uses " You can't fix stupid" and "don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining"


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

You can't fix stupid.

You spot it… you got it.


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

Ooh. Good ones.


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## derosa (Aug 21, 2010)

I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you.


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

My father in law use to say, re ducks, one of it's legs are both the same.


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## ddockstader (Jun 21, 2009)

Off topic, but I love it - 
"Eating healthy does not make you live longer - it just seems longer"


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## tierraverde (Dec 1, 2009)

"Lord, They listen, but they don't hear"


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## airfieldman (Dec 19, 2007)

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then add some vodka and you'll have a real party!"


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## Lumber2Sawdust (Jul 22, 2010)

"When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging"

It applies in so many things. For woodworking, it usually means it is time to put down what you are doing and walk away for a while. You end up getting a chance to clear your had and examine where you are at.


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## davidmicraig (Nov 21, 2009)

I don't have an expression but a thought on one. I always hear people say they are a person that considers the glass "half full." Ever notice no one seems to care about whats in the glass? If someone were to hold a glass of pee and say it is "half empty" I would have to say that person is an optimist


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## juniorjock (Feb 3, 2008)

Be tough…..... you've got to be tough when you're stupid…..


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Lumber2Sawdust's post reminded me of one I've heard. I think it was a quote from general Grant.
"When your horse dies, dismount"


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

I'm loving these.

Another good one IMHO "If you always do what you always did, 
You'll always get what you always got."

And along the lines of David Craig's comment - when people say "It was in the last place I looked" I always think, 
"of course it was in the last place you looked. Once you found it, I presume you stopped looking….."


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## huff (May 28, 2009)

"Never get in a pissing contest with a skunk!"

"Never argue with an idiot; they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!"


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## TedW (May 6, 2012)

One of my favorites from the building trades… "A little caulk, a little paint, makes a carpenter what he ain't."


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## kizerpea (Dec 2, 2011)

Heres mine ..lies have to b covered up.!!! but the truth can run around naked…..


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## 47phord (Apr 10, 2012)

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for {insert mechanical device here} my tools would rust"

To paraphrase what huff said: "Never roll in the mud with a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it."

My personal woodworking favorite: "I cut it off twice and it's still too short!" Embarrassingly enough, I actually said that once (hanging my head in shame).

I have a couple more, but I believe they violate the LJ's decency rules (wink-wink).


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## juniorjock (Feb 3, 2008)

The football coach said to my son on his first day in high school…..... "You're pretty big for your size…...." - - - -?


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## juniorjock (Feb 3, 2008)

My favorite: To someone you haven't seen in a long time (duh)....... I haven't seen you since the last time I saw you…... Makes 'em think…...

Sorry, mine aren't shop-related….....


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## Eric_S (Aug 26, 2009)

"The grass may be greener on the other side but its just as difficult to mow."


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

Not shop related, but whenever anyone asks me the secret to a good marriage, I say "pretty wears off, but a good cook is forever."


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## SuperDave (Apr 4, 2010)

one that was told to me was "stupid hurts"


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Whoever said …. "Nothing Is Impossible!" Obviously never tried Slamming A Revolving Door!

"REAL Men, measure once, cut once, then head back to the Lumberyard."

"If the world is round … why do I need a Square?"

"A Chip on the Shoulder, is a sign of Wood Higher Up."

"My other Tool is a Radial Arm Saw."

"The Weather is here. Wish you were Beautiful!"

" A Lie gets halfway around the world before the Truth has a chance to get it's Pants on."

"Want to Play Mortise and Tenon?"

"I'd plow a Dado in that any day!" 
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*That's all for now Folks!!*

*Sandra!! This Is FUN!!!*

*<><><><><>< "I'll Be Back!! ><><><><><><><>*

*CHEERS: Rick*


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## TorqNut (Apr 29, 2012)

My favorite "Better get your believer fixed."

Another is "Two bricks short of a full load."


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

More good ones!


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## gfadvm (Jan 13, 2011)

"squealed like a pig under a gate" "independant as a hog on ice"


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## BillWhite (Jul 23, 2007)

"Ignorance can be corrected. Stupid is forever."

"When in doubt, STOP."

This on is an original, and I was not drinkiing:

"Beautiful" does not describe, nor compliment excellence." from the White book of barnyard philosophy.

Bill


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## carver (Nov 4, 2010)

"If you lay with the dogs, you're a dog" don't lay with the dogs. My boys grew up hearing this one!


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## Gene01 (Jan 5, 2009)

"When you choose to lie with dogs, don't bitch about the fleas."


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## Manitario (Jul 4, 2010)

hmm, my favourite, or at least most used expression in the workshop seems to be $%&#!


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## alba (Jul 31, 2010)

Turd Polishing for beginners.


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

Holy Toledo Scatman! I guess you can polish a turd.


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*Have FUN Ya'll.*

*Toodles!*


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## burley (Oct 27, 2012)

I have always said,"I have done so much with so little, I can do anything with nothing"


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## Fishinbo (Jun 11, 2012)

From the great Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

_
www.sawblade.com


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## muleskinner (Sep 24, 2011)

Not really in the "tested and true" vein, more in the "yo mama so fat" vein.

Heard in a (rather heated) discussion: "You've got so many chins it looks like you're staring at me over a stack of pancakes."


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## xwingace (Apr 25, 2011)

"If anybody can do it, so can I!"


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.


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## gfadvm (Jan 13, 2011)

In the same vein as Roger's: "Yo cleavage look like a butt crack"


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## Momcanfixit (Sep 19, 2012)

Hey Rick,

How'd you find such an accurate picture of me, scowl and all???


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## stevepeterson (Dec 17, 2009)

"When you are in deep sh-, keep your mouth shut".


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