# Laws



## Allison (Dec 31, 2007)

I received this as an e-mail this morning and just wanted to share. I find it personally to be so true! Funny but true. Any others?

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.


----------



## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

That's great Allison good to hear from you.


----------



## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

LOL! These are great, Allison… a lot I never heard before, but all very true!

I have a problem with #11 though…. Us aisle people are only surly because the damned middle people keep going in and out and disturbing us! My wife and I went to a Fleetwood Mac concert recently, and these people next to us must have gone for beer and bathroom breaks 20 times! They missed half the songs!!!!


----------



## savannah505 (Jul 31, 2008)

I have experienced all these laws, and this is all true. Thanks Allison.


----------



## Knothead62 (Apr 17, 2010)

Grafitti on a customer's file cabinet: Compared to me, Murphy was an optimist!
Edit: No matter how many pieces of hardware or fasteners you have, you will always be short by one!


----------



## Allison (Dec 31, 2007)

@Charlie That absolutely drives me nuts when people do that, besides the fact it's just plain rude!


----------



## JJohnston (May 22, 2009)

I had a similar #11 experience at a Cal-State Fresno football game. A guy kept going in and out of the row behind me, and every time he went by, he would push off my shoulder like it was a handrail. I finally turned around and said I wasn't his $%& handrail, and for this, *I* was the bad guy.


----------



## NewPickeringWdWrkr (Feb 24, 2010)

Knothead, you just quoted O'Toole's law! Murphy was an optimist! LOL


----------



## mtnwild (Sep 28, 2008)

So true, very funny but, so true…......................


----------



## SCOTSMAN (Aug 1, 2008)

Law number 20 Alison is a top notch cookie.lol Alistair ps that's a good thing to be


----------



## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

thank´s Allison
you safed the day

Dennis


----------



## Eagle1 (Jan 4, 2010)

Very Very True!!! And Funny..


----------



## Bob Collins (Apr 25, 2008)

Hi Allison, they all happen down here in Aussie land, specially Law 1 and 2 when in my shop.


----------



## buffalo689 (Mar 2, 2010)

So true…


----------



## KentS (May 27, 2009)

Thganks Allison. These are almost too true to be funny.


----------



## majeagle1 (Oct 29, 2008)

ooooooooooooh how I can relate! So many are true !!!!

This is great, tks Allison


----------



## kennyd (Mar 9, 2010)

Great stuff Allison and so true. That made me smile..

Thanks.


----------



## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

#2 is the worst of them all!! :-( Thanks Allison


----------



## Allison (Dec 31, 2007)

@TopomaxSurvivor, I think I have to agree with you on that one!


----------



## TopamaxSurvivor (May 2, 2008)

Good to see you out and about again  When I was young and agile it was probalby #3 that took first place ;-)) I could easily reach into those places then.


----------



## jockmike2 (Oct 10, 2006)

Very funny Allison and very true!


----------

