# $5.37!!



## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

*$5.37!!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out

some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the

kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the

Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56 , not even 60 yet! A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say gingko biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth…... It's the only planet with chocolate !!!!!

*


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## alba (Jul 31, 2010)

Wonderful,
I've a huge smile. 

Jamie


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## LeeJ (Jul 4, 2007)

Oh no, you too?

Lee


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## SPalm (Oct 9, 2007)

Dude, I am 56 too. Strange things start happening.

I sold my WRX last year and bought a truck. I thought I should grow up. But racing a Prius? Hmmm.

BTW - I became a grandfather this morning. And that is the truth.

Thanks for the story,
Steve


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## CharlieM1958 (Nov 7, 2006)

LOL! I can relate. I'm only 51, but they've been mostly city miles. 

Steve: Congratulations, Gramps!


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## Artist (Feb 10, 2007)

Pretty good, I knew it was a story though. It sounded a bit like me in the beginning, they have been giving me senior discounts since I was in my 40 and I just turned 55. I got sick of saying I wasn't a senior after awhile. I am old enough to join the senior center here so I consider myself a senior now. We are just oldies but goodies now.

Diane


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## DaddyZ (Jan 28, 2010)

Very Cool !!!!


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## stevecabinum (Sep 26, 2010)

Ha haaa! Thanks for sharing! LOL


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## Dennisgrosen (Nov 14, 2009)

) LOL sorry I luagh but it is a funny story
not that I am hurrying onto the other side of 50 but my speed foot is stocked to the second counter
and nomatter how I try to get of the werichle I simply just can´t slow it down

don´t worry its not so oncommon to try had three of those days last year :-(
now I just have to remember where I lieve

have a great weekend
Dennis


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## richgreer (Dec 25, 2009)

Ouch - - This hits too close to 58 year old me.

It was just a few days ago that someone gave me and my 57 year old wife senior citizen discounts without saying a word about it. They just assumed that we were senior citizens. For 8 years I have refused to join AARP because I don't think of myself as being old. That does not stop them from sending a mailing every couple of weeks or so.


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## wchips (Dec 11, 2009)

You guys at 58 look like young men to me. I am 70. When i was in my 50s 70 looked ancient


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## TheDane (May 15, 2008)

I joined AARP years ago … for the hotel discounts!

I don't get very many senior citizen discounts (I am 63) ... I'm like Rich and don't consider myself old … and most places around where I live you have to ask for the discount. I guess I am lucky that I don't look my age!


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## ND2ELK (Jan 25, 2008)

Sounds like a normal day to me. I do have those days sometimes. Thanks for the smile!

God Bless
tom


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## Rick Dennington (Aug 27, 2009)

Yea….. I know how you all feel…..I'm 63 also, and Dane you're right….I don't consider myself old, either..
I'm a young pony, and ain't been rode too hard yet…..I also refuse to join AARP…
Now…has anyone seen my hot water bottle?......It's time for my nap, and get me a quilt, please, I'm chilled.


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## HokieMojo (Mar 11, 2008)

Even at $4.68, you overpaid for your taco bell.


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## KnickKnack (Aug 20, 2008)

* There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish*

What a beautiful line


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## ShannonRogers (Jan 11, 2008)

Thanks for the great laugh what a great story and don't worry I'm laughing with you. Keep laughing it will keep you young


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## jbertelson (Sep 26, 2009)

I have definitely tried to put my keys into the wrong car door, I have forgotten the clothes I went to pick up at the dry cleaners. But I love it when they have mandatory ID rules when you order a beer, as though I could be mistaken for a 17 year old….........(-:

I am 39, and I have been 39 for three decades now, and I plan to continue being 39 for the forseeable, or not so forseeable, future. Jack Benny had it right. Reality is highly overrated…......let a little fantasy make life a little easier, and make life a little happier, forever…........

Jim


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## TJ65 (Jan 19, 2010)

That's sooooooooooo funny, I will have to print that one out for my husband who recently turned 50- something for him to look forward to, kids asking to see his seniors card!!!


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## Chipncut (Aug 18, 2006)

One of my Sons' who is 58 sent this to me, I'm 20 up on him, so I'm way beyond that stage.

*Elmo helps me to my car*.*<O}&*


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## Woodwrecker (Aug 11, 2008)

I'm 56 & the other day at the library a teenage girl told her little brother to get the door for the "elderly gentleman"....... Man, that one hurt.


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## TheDane (May 15, 2008)

We have a saying here in Wisconsin: Age is only important if you are a cheese.


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Great fun Dick thanks for sharing what a hoot. They still ask for My I D at stores ,just to make sure I'm still alive. LOL


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## terrilynne (Jun 24, 2010)

I-can-not-stop-laughing!!!
I-am-over-50-myself-and-the-hubby-is-pushing-60-real-hard!
I-am-laughing-with-you..I-understand.
Like-when-you-cant-find-your-glasses-and-they-are-on-top-of-your-head!
when-you-just-had-something-in-your-hand-and-cant-for-the-life-of-you,remember-where-you-put-it!
Or-you-go-into-another-room-and-dont-remember-why?
I-call-it-CRS


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## pommy (Apr 17, 2008)

Dick we love you thanks for the funny

Andy


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## paperbender1965 (Aug 1, 2008)

Oh thank God, since I just turned 50 I have all of you oldsters to pave the way for me. And how exactly did all of those life insurance people and AARP actually find out about me?


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## Grumpy (Nov 9, 2007)

LOL Dick. What can I say.


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## BTKS (Nov 30, 2008)

Turned 41 yesterday, Damn this story hurts but it still made me laugh.
Thanks, BTKS


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## SnowyRiver (Nov 14, 2008)

Ha ha ha…thats great !! Thanks for posting it.


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## Popsnsons (Mar 28, 2010)

Great story…only pushing 50, but I'm looking forward to the discounts. {:-D


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## cutmantom (Feb 2, 2010)

wait a minute is this my computer???


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