# How would you respond to this comment from a show



## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

I've been thinking about this comment for a while now. I do an occasional show to try to recoup lumber money so I can build something else - for sure not a "I can make a living at this" just fun. I call it my "wood therapy."

Anyway, a lady was eyeing one of my pieces and someone she was with, I'm assuming husband/boyfriend, told her "that's so easy, I can do that." He said it plenty loud so that everyone heard the comment. The lady looked at me with one of those "I'm embarrassed now" looks. If he had not said it so loudly that everyone heard I would have just acted like I also didn't hear it and moved on. But, he was pretty loud. So this is basically what I said. "I'm sure you could - do you have a wood shop?" I thought that was pretty innocuous and not offensive. However, he did think it was. He made quite a show of being indignant as well.

I know that my social skills are less than stellar and that I can be brusk and short with people from time to time, but at shows I'm on my very best, don't say anything silly or thoughtless, behavior.

So after thinking about this for a while and not coming up with anything better to say I thought I'd put it to my fellow Jocks to get your opinions. Did I say something offensive or was the guy simply blowing blustered talk to impress the lady? What would you have said?

These issues drive me nuts because I'm not a good diplomat so I would like to be prepared for this type of comment /situation in the future so your opinions are welcomed.

Thanks


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## Yonak (Mar 27, 2014)

I'm with you, Betsy. I think your comment was totally innocuous. I can't even imagine what he could have said in response in an indignant manner.

I would not worry about it one whit. You said nothing wrong. He was just being ignorant. Even his wife knew it.


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## MarcRochkind (Jun 22, 2014)

My thinking is that if you're going to do shows, this is going to happen, so it's probably best to not respond at all, as it isn't a question. The problem is that any response (and yours was certainly on the mark) makes you look small. Another response would be to act like the comment was genuine. Something like, "Yes, for the maestros, like Maloof or Krenov or you, it would indeed be easy. For me, it was a challenge."


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## firefighterontheside (Apr 26, 2013)

Well, being a woodworker, I walk past stuff and thing, I can make that. I don't say it out loud. I tell my wife later. What should he have done? He should have thought it and not said it. You probably should have done the same. Either way he wasn't gonna buy anything. Maybe Monte will be along and comment. I know he's been there.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

I like your comment suggestion Marc. Now that you've mentioned it, I think I did view it as a question to be answered as opposed to a comment to be ignored.

Yonak - what he said is not repeatable without a lot of *&9*5876^%&%&^. He was just not happy.


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## TheFridge (May 1, 2014)

Eff him. He shouldn't have opened his mouth.


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## jgoeden (Mar 19, 2013)

Say, "Oh, let me see some pics of your previous work!"


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

> Eff him. He shouldn t have opened his mouth.
> 
> - TheFridge


 Hum… what does "Eff" stand for I've not seen that abbreviation before.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

> Eff him. He shouldn t have opened his mouth.
> 
> - TheFridge
> 
> ...


Wait! is that the new "FU"?


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## jgoeden (Mar 19, 2013)

It's saying "uck him" poliltely on the internet without cussing. "F him"

I agree though.

Maybe he could have made it, but did he? And did he have the creativity to think of it? There's a difference between creating something and replicating something.


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## BadJoints (Jun 3, 2015)

Ignore him. Life's too short to worry about other people's ego. Make up one of those signs someone mentioned recently. "Yes, I'm sure your Husband/Brother/Uncle/Boyfriend COULD make you one of these, but WILL HE?"


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## ColonelTravis (Mar 19, 2013)

Marc's suggestion is hilarious, love it.

I think what you said was just fine. Here is what people like this rude guy don't understand and what you should keep in mind so it doesn't get to you, which can be hard to slough off, because a comment like that is not right and it's obviously got you thinking about it - you're the one out there who actually did it and is selling it. How many woodworkers can say the same? I know I can't. You're selling stuff, which takes effort and courage - not separating-Siamese-twins significance and courage - but most people on earth (not just woodworkers) never put their name, their work, their reputation out there for public scrutiny. You did, and I have respect for those who do. And now that I know the work involved, even if it's just a spoon, I can appreciate it more.

Sometimes I think, I can do that. Then I think, but you haven't done it yet, moron, so shut up. This guy didn't have a built-in ego-puncher, maybe you could have asked him if he could build one of those.


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## AlaskaGuy (Jan 29, 2012)

I don't know what I would have said but it would be different that what you said.

If someone is going to be an ass they deserve to be treated as one.


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## jaykaypur (Oct 22, 2011)

You don't say exactly what he was commenting on but I would have said…..."I bet you couldn't." If it was one of your cutting boards, he was seriously full of BS. Just showing off for his gal.

Or….....I would have said…"Thank God. I'm just running the booth here for my friend. Can you explain to me how these certain patterns are made, cut, and glued up? She won't tell anyone!" His response would have given you a wealth of knowledge about him! LOL. Your response was harmless.


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## laketrout36 (Nov 7, 2012)

Your reply in a public setting was just right. If you were to become sarcastic or confrontational and other customers were present they would've avoided your location. No one on a nice day wants to spend their time in a conflict unless it's completely unavoidable.

Your response told him and his wife/girlfriend that you heard him and you were the one not shying away but engaging AND you posses socials skills similar to an artist that knows how to create. It's similar to lowering your voice in a conflict and it usually causes the other party to do the same thing. Conflict resolution and being in control = Mature adult.


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## upchuck (Nov 3, 2013)

Betsy-
Maybe, "Do you have a portfolio of your work with you? Maybe a few cell phone shots we could look at?" If yes then I'd study the offered work and engage in conversation. It's always possible that they are skilled and knowledgeable and it could be a learning experience for me. If no then your range of responses could range from silence (draw the silence out for as long as possible) to snide ("I thought not.") depending on your mood and personality.
Or maybe just hand them a tool that is a little out of adjustment (a plane with the lateral adjustment out of wack or a dull chisel) and ask them for some advise on correcting the flaw. Tools in the hands of novices are held in their hands like foreign objects. Think of a commercial where the models are using guitars as props instead of a guitar in the hands of a guitar player. It's the same way with firearms. Those who are familiar with weapons vs. those who learned how to handle weapons from watching TV.
chuck


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## CharlesA (Jun 24, 2013)

Sounds like you responded appropriately, even if in hindsight you might want to not have said anything. Similarly to Chuck, I wondered, with a lot more time to think about it, if you might have said, "I'd love to see pictures of your work."


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## ellen35 (Jan 1, 2009)

Betsy, I do 6 shows a year and occasionally run into some dunce that thinks these things make themselves. Most people will ask how I made something or comment on an unusual species of wood. I usually engage them by asking if they are a woodworker…sort of - if you are, what do you do (turning, boxes, etc) or if you are not, I tell them a little about wood species in general and where the wood comes from on the boards or boxes I make (country, not trees!). Occasionally, I get a mean one who thinks he knows more than me. I usually just be polite and ignore him as much as possible while other people in the booth listen to him make a bigger and bigger fool of himself. Sadly, a woman in woodworking is a target for a man with low self esteem and a big ego. Once I actually had a man insist that my husband made the items and I just sold them for him!!! Three people in the booth came up to me afterward and told me that I showed incredible restraint and that each would have throttled him. Most people, men and women, are polite and somewhat in awe of wood and woodworking. I am not interested in testing anyone's ability to work with a plane or chisel or embarrassing them… they are embarrassing themselves just nicely. My humble advice is to ignore the morons and pay extra attention to those who appreciate what you do.
Ellen


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## Clarkie (May 11, 2013)

I have years of "shows" under my belt, comments come and go and no need for any drama. Most times the people and the artist are both either tired or excited. There is also the immature reaction of the man. The wife may just be passing a compliment along and the husband feels threatened. Just do your best and your wares will almost sell themselves. Have fun and make some saw dust.


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## Puzzleman (May 4, 2010)

After doing shows for many years, I have learned some answers to the people who say that they can do what I do.

1. Yes, you can. But just in case you don't have the time, here is my contact info so I can get it done for you.

2. I'm sure you can. Anyone can do anything. What do you do for a living? (wait for response) I can do that as well. Probably not as good as you as you do it all the time. Same here, you can do it but probably not as good or quick as I can as I do it all the time.

3. I am glad you have a wood shop at home. I don't meet many people at shows who have a wood shop. What projects have you done recently? I am interested in what kind of work you do.

Just a few responses that have seemed to work for me. Always being polite. Sometimes they actually do have a wood shop and we wind up talking shop and projects.


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## hotbyte (Apr 3, 2010)

Saw a sign at a booth once that said "Sure your husband could make it but will he?" So, maybe a good response would've been "But will you?"


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## RJH30518 (Feb 22, 2015)

Everyone so far has no problem with the words … but it really has to do with the tone that it was said in. It could very well have been a snide remark-I am sure that you could if you had my experience or the care that I took to build this … while that was not said, the tone could have implied that.

I would not have commented on "him" at all … comment on the project-like: it is not a difficult project, but I take a lot of pride and care in the details … you could talk about one step of the project, and ask if he would have done it the same way, or say nothing further …

Ignoring his comment would have been the easiest thing-and maybe just roll your eyes and try to engage someone else.


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## RHolcomb (Mar 23, 2010)

First of all, if the item the idiot commented about is something from your project list or something similar…..He likely couldn't make it and was just spouting off to make people think he was something he wasn't. When people do this kind of thing they are always hiding an inadequacy they have. People who really can make something like you or anyone else selling an item can, never spout off about their knowledge and talents. I would have been hard pressed to keep my mouth shut but I would have because other prospective buyers were in your booth.


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## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

My answer would have been. " here is my card. If you run into any problem, give me a call."


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## Yonak (Mar 27, 2014)

Once this jerk said, "&95876^%&%&^," especially if there were children within hearing distance, he would be gone from my booth with a, "That kind of language is not acceptable in my booth. Leave now !" Then start dialing security on my cell phone.


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## InstantSiv (Jan 12, 2014)

I would of told him that I am apart of an organization that teaches woodworking skills and that we were in need of instructors to help teach and asked him for his contact info so that I could put him in contact with the person in charge of signing up new instructors. That will put him on the spot.


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## Grandpa (Jan 28, 2011)

" Oh, your a woodworker too! Maybe you will have a booth at the next show."


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## Blackie_ (Jul 10, 2011)

Betsy, I can't offer anymore than what others have already stated and I agree with them all, great responses, you did nothing wrong.

You could propose a build off as something just for fun to do between you two. Something in the way of

"Oh a build off would be fun, I'd really enjoy that from a fellow woodworker to another"


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## bearkatwood (Aug 19, 2015)

Depending on what you were making you could have asked a technical question about your product that you found difficult to solve and ask how he would have handled it. That might put him on the spot or then again he might just puff up his chest and make some howling noise and move on to the next banana. Try not to suffer the fools, I guess the lesson to learn from this one is just to be humble in the show and treat everyone that acts like that as if they missed their shot at having a booth next to you. I am sure you could make a living at it, it just takes commitment. Take care
Brian


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## Pimzedd (Jan 22, 2007)

I think Ellen is right on track. Sounds like a man that thinks women can't do anything a man can do.

I used to teach minority students who won competitions at a local, state and national level. I had a number of other teachers tell me that I must have done the work since my students were not able of doing such quality work. I learned to look them in the eye and chuckle and then shake my head from side to side and say nothing. That usually mad them mad and they would turn and walk away. If they said anything else, I looked away, said nothing and totally ignored them while still smiling. I knew the truth about my students and did not care what they thought. Worked for me.


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## BLarge (Aug 29, 2011)

The guy sounds like dick, there are a lot of them out there, unfortunately statistically you are bound to run I to a few here and there… Lol…


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## JayT (May 6, 2012)

You handled it well, and much better than I would have. Here would be my choices, depending on snark level.

Snark level 0, Killing with kindness - "Oh, always nice to meet another woodworker, enjoy the rest of your day"

Snark level 1, softly putting him in his place - "Oh, nice to meet another woodworker. It's great to see someone who understands that making these is not as easy as it would seem to someone who's never done it."

Snark level 2, beatdown - "Oh nice to meet another woodworker, can I pick your brain for a moment? I've been thinking there is probably a better way to make these. How would you do it other than (list everything that goes into making the item) so that it doesn't end up looking like something made in junior high shop class?

My natural default is the last one. Probably why I wouldn't be successful at craft shows.

At the point he started cursing, I would have insisted he leave.


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## Halc (Jan 5, 2014)

You might have gotten the same reaction from him no matter what you said, or if you had said nothing. Sometimes the jerks of the world are looking for excuses to show everyone else what jerks they are. I know it's not easy to do, but forget him. Why should we allow the jerks to upset us?


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## wormil (Nov 19, 2011)

I have considerable experience dealing with the public and have learned that you can say almost anything if you say it the right way- the right way being situation dependent. And at the same time almost anyone can take something the wrong way even if meant and said politely. In that situation you describe, I would never back off after asking the question as that leads to hard feelings for sure.


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## KayBee (Jul 6, 2009)

I like the kill them with kindness approach. " Well, of course you can honey, and probably better too. Bless your heart." Might come out a little condescending, but I'm ok with that. Figure they've earned it.


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## Daruc (Apr 20, 2015)

I would have looked at the wife and said, 
Well there you go, you don't need to buy one, he'll make one for you!
I'm sure his wife would have been the first one to say that will never happen, 
so she will be putting him down, not you.


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## Texcaster (Oct 26, 2013)

I used to show my electric double basses at music festivals. Only one bad comment. A small weasel once said, " these aren't real basses. " He said it TWICE while I was showing a bass to someone else and my back was turned. Maybe he thought everyone's hearing was bad. I let it go. Only a non muso would say something like that. The irony is, the bass players always think an EUB is a good idea.

Lulo Reinhardt, the Gypsy/ Latin Jazz, guitarist playing one of my basses in the djamming tent at an Oz Manouche festival.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

> After doing shows for many years, I have learned some answers to the people who say that they can do what I do.
> 
> 1. Yes, you can. But just in case you don t have the time, here is my contact info so I can get it done for you.
> 
> ...


Wow guys and gals the response is wonderful. Besides the good choices from puzzle man I've got several other things I can now say/respond with.

As for how the tone of my voice - I have a pretty flat effect so I'm pretty sure my tone was even. The last time I've raised my voice above normal was when I tripped and fell in the crosswalk. I had obviously had a bad day because I let out a litany of words I generally don't use and I was not quite about it. The guy that helped me up and gather my things was being very kind by not laughing but he was just about to bust a gut trying not to laugh. He actually got me laughing at myself.

thanks again for all the good advice - I'm now prepared for the next dunce that comes along!


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## SenecaWoodArt (Dec 19, 2013)

You did nothing wrong and I hear this a lot. My question of choice is "Where do you get your wood?" Then I follow up quickly with "I am always looking for new sources." This tells me very quickly if he is a woodworker or not. If he is a woodworker, then you have made met a new resource. If not, everyone will know what is happening and you have kept things on an even keel. I to am not always the best social animal in the crowd, but this one has worked for me.


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## hotbyte (Apr 3, 2010)

Best one of the bunch!!!



> I would have looked at the wife and said,
> Well there you go, you don t need to buy one, he ll make one for you!
> I m sure his wife would have been the first one to say that will never happen,
> so she will be putting him down, not you.
> ...


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## JoeinGa (Nov 26, 2012)

My wife and I were at an "Arts and Craps" festival once where I saw a sign in one person's booth. It was a really nice sign, about 6' tall and the words were "Stacked" down the sign with very fancy lettering on it. Perhaps you could make one for your booth…

*Yes, your 
husband, 
uncle, 
father, 
or friendly neighbor
probably COULD make you one of those.

But WILL HE?*


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## JoeinGa (Nov 26, 2012)

Oh and everyone who passed her booth was commenting on it!


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Interesting sign. The shows I go to are generally ones that are a step or two above the "arts and craps" shows where your products and signage have to be approved before you can even attend a show. So the sign you saw is probably too-in-your face for the committee. But is good!

Thanks Joe


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## gfadvm (Jan 13, 2011)

> I would have looked at the wife and said,
> Well there you go, you don t need to buy one, he ll make one for you!
> I m sure his wife would have been the first one to say that will never happen,
> so she will be putting him down, not you.
> ...


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## mtenterprises (Jan 10, 2011)

Too busy to read all the posts on this but my first thought is that the gentleman, and i use the term loosely, was a bit inebriated to be so foul and vulgar in a family public setting. Sometimes you just have to take things with a grain of salt. It is always best in this type of situation not to say anything at all. Let him make an ass of himself, smile and say nothing until you get back into your own shop and bash something (not the tools please!)


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## ryguy (Apr 27, 2010)

I do a number of shows each year and hear these types of things all the time. The funny thing is (and I am a man) - it is always from men. I have them comment on how I made something and it is wrong (like the guy who explained to his wife with one of my live edge bowls that I submerged it in water a long time and when it was able to be flexed I curved it to that shape! He thought that is what "wet turning" meant) I also have the comments like you experienced. I just roll my eyes, sometimes turn my back, or straighten something up in my booth. Those people are not buyers, so why waste the time. What really pisses me off is when people pull out their phone and start taking pics of my work and then say I can build this. I always try to stop people from taking pics by asking them not to take pics of my work (as in: "I would prefer you didn't take pics of my work") Most people get pissed when I ask them not to. Because everyone carries a phone with a camera now they think they are entitled to take pics of someone's creations. I think you handled this fine, but when he got testy I would have just said, "move along" and pointed out of my booth. That has worked for me in the past.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Thanks Mt and Ryan.

Ryan - I have the same issue with photos.

I appreciate all the comments. I'll be working on ingraining them in my brain before my next show.


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## joew (Apr 22, 2008)

my wife and i were visiting or daughter in Ga, and went shopping in for a quilt rack for our 2 daughters. the Amish store we went in she found the one she wanted. but only had one. i told her to get it and i would try to make one more. i had never done anything like that before so when we get back home in Pa i start to work. of course it the end of nov, no place to work but a pad in back yard, with no roof. very few tools, and its getting cold. i had a old table i used for a bench and had to hide everything from my other daughter who still live in pa. well i did end up making it and then had to go back outside and make another one. cant give one a homemade one and the other one store bought. in the spring i made a shop and started learning about woodworking


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## mojapitt (Dec 31, 2011)

It's a pain. Your reply was neither bad nor out of line. Especially men use that line to get out of buying something for the wife and then hope she forgets about it. I have made the same comment back as you did. I have also replied back about most people don't have tools or time to do it. Either way, he wasn't going to buy from you.

I have also seen their wife cross him on the spot and say "yeah, like when" or simply, "no you can't"


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## Tennessee (Jul 8, 2011)

Betsy:
We all do this, go places and look for projects. How we handle ourselves is the important part. Obviously this guy was just showing off to the public, and may not even be able to cut a straight board. But we all have this happen to us and how we handle it shows our respect for other woodworkers, not what we think of wannabe's.

When I do see something I really like and want to try, if there is someone there, I often ask if I can take a picture of it with my phone since I am finding it so beautiful! By praising their work and complimenting the artist, I have yet to be turned down, and having a picture of it to take back to my workshop is worth way more than anything I might say that would offend people.

It's kind of like getting a "favorite" on Etsy. You ain't selling anything, but people want to copy your work!!

My worst happening, years and years ago, happened at a Christmas dinner surrounded by my former family. (First wife)
I had made a very complex bread basket with wooden handle, with a Biblical phrase inlaid into the top of the handle. The thing had taken me hours and hours to make, and my wife at the time wanted to give it to her mother for Christmas, and I said OK.

When we presented it to her at the Christmas dinner, my former wife's brother spoke to his wife - "See, if I went out and was allowed to buy the tools he has, I could build that no problem!"

Needless to say, I felt more like coming over the top of the table and wringing his neck, than say "Oh yeah, no problem".
Instead, I let it stew and said nothing, and even now, years later, I still remember his comment, using my workmanship to try and get his wife to let him buy a few tools. Sheesh…
It really ground on me, having not only my work but my design belittled in that way.


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## SignWave (Feb 2, 2010)

This feels like a good time to apply the serenity prayer. You don't control what he says or does, so just accept that he is the person he is. It has nothing to do with you and nothing you can say or do will change who he is. As good as it may feel at the moment to come up with a witty quip, you won't "win" because you cannot "win". Serenity will come from accepting that there are people like that in the world, and their problems are theirs, not ours. It's not easy, but with grace we don't have to take it personally.

Another point is that at craft shows there are a variety of customers. Some people don't have the skills/tools/interest to do what you do and want to buy less expensive items that you create and make available to them. Everything you offer cannot be something that is so extraordinary that you and you alone could have made it. If that's all you took to the show, you'd end up hauling a bunch of expensive pieces around and not selling anything. OF COURSE some of what you make could be made by others. That is the nature of selling hand crafted items.

Just keep doing what you enjoy, and keep making pieces available that people enjoy and will buy.


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## SirIrb (Jan 12, 2015)

I am a bit socially…I'm an introvert who has to at times come out of his shell. I am a design engineer and get to work alone for the most part but being Sr. I have been tagged as one to have to teach topics to other engineers. It kills me. All that to say: I'm with you.

I have a wife who keeps my brusk, indignant, sarcastic self in check. She would tell you you handled your self well AND you taught this idiot anot economics lesson. They would be paying for your skill AND overhead. Overhead that he doesn't have even if he has the skill.

Get a beer. The world is populated with morons.


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## Stewbot (Jun 7, 2015)

Somerimes it seems people are only impressed with something if they feel that it is an item which they could not fathom nor create themselves, which is not how I view it. Although very technical woodworking is impressive in its own way and deserves respect and praise, simple yet tasteful woodworking projects in my eyes are impressive just the same. I often take a look at etsy and see lots of successful etsy shops selling very basic yet tasteful and cleverly designed items.


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## Ocelot (Mar 6, 2011)

> I would have looked at the wife and said,
> Well there you go, you don t need to buy one, he ll make one for you!
> I m sure his wife would have been the first one to say that will never happen,
> so she will be putting him down, not you.
> ...


I was thinking along those lines too. Maybe speak to the lady saying "You've caught a good one there honey!"

Most likely, however, the comment had nothing to do with either you or your product. The guy was tired of following his wife around while she spent (or threatened to spend) money on stuff they don't need and can't afford. He just wanted to go home.

-Paul


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## Ocelot (Mar 6, 2011)

This reminds me that the last time I went to a craft show, I got tired of walking around and found a seat in a row of chairs against the wall. There were about 4 people sitting there besides me. The amazing thing is they they (who evidently did not previously know each other) all began to tell stories about their grandchildren's drug habits. It began like "Oh, that's a pretty ring. I used to have one like that." etc. etc. "... my granddaughter stole it and sold it to buy drugs." Then the other fellow sitting down the row said "My grandson stole my TV and sold it for the same reason…". It was freaky. All 4 of them.


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## Betsy (Sep 25, 2007)

Most likely, however, the comment had nothing to do with either you or your product. The guy was tired of following his wife around while she spent (or threatened to spend) money on stuff they don t need and can t afford. He just wanted to go home.

-Paul

- Ocelot
[/QUOTE]

That's probably right - of course if that's the case - he got off easy as he was not carrying her purse!

It's interesting how many of us had to deal with these things. I've pretty much decided the low key, yet confident tone of voice and eye contact with the "customer" with whatever response spills out of my mouth will be the way to go.

I appreciate all the responses.
Betsy


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## SenecaWoodArt (Dec 19, 2013)

Last weekend I was opening my booth early in the morning when two men came in with no one else around. They were looking over my items with one telling the other, we can make this or we can make that, with no regard to how I might feel about any of this. The one who was not saying much picked up one of my oven rack tools and started studying it, obviously confused as to it's use. He asked me what it was and I chose to ignore him. There was obviously no sale here. He asked again in a louder voice and the devil got the better part of me. Since no one else was around to be offended, I replied, that's a hemroid remover. He gave me one sincere go to hell look before he put it down and moved on.I am sure some here will be offended and disagree with me, but it made my day.


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## a1Jim (Aug 9, 2008)

Lots of great ideas.I think I would have said to the wife if I were you,I know your husband must have lots of great woodworking equipment so in case he gets to busy,you could do what I did,learn to make it youself,its fun and it turns out just the way you want it,if you or husband deside to give it a try feel free to give me a call ,Id be glad to help.(Handing her a card)


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## Tugboater78 (May 26, 2012)

Nothing wrong with your response. I go to craft shows, flea markets, shops etc with my SO and often THINK what he said, knowing i can do it. Getting it done is another matter.

Usually though, i strike up a conversation with whoever has the booth and talk shop, try to get some insight. I make it clear i am nowhere near being in "competition." If i get to like the individual i usually end up purchasing something if i am able, to support thier effort.

One day i may end up having my own booth at one of these places. I have great respect for anyone who has the means to set up for them. Just not in my cards at this time.


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## ellen35 (Jan 1, 2009)

Hey Paul… nothing like blaming the wife for dragging her husband around to spend money on stuff they don't need instead of just admitting the guy was a putz! Maybe she should have sent him to the car to sit and wait… sorta like a misbehaving kid - NOTE: this is all said tongue in cheek but there is an element of truth….


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## Alongiron (Jan 10, 2011)

You said nothing wrong! It has kinda happened to me as well. I said; "Are you into woodworking as well? I would love to see your work! Maybe we could share some ideas?!? How about joining our local club?" Shuts 'um every time!!


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## donwilwol (May 16, 2011)

It probably didn't seem like it at the time, but everyone in the room was thinking the same thing you were. Think of it as the line "no publicity is bad publicity" He probably inadvertently brought people to your booth.

Let's face it, all it took to get me where I am today is 45 years of experience, thousands of dollars in tools, a billion failed projects, lots of firewood, hours and hours of reading, cuts, bruises, and to many near misses to remember. Yep, anybody can do it, but do they?

Edit: And I should note, I'm still not all that good.


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## SirIrb (Jan 12, 2015)

There is the obvious: the guy is a tool who CANT do though he likes to inflate his ego as though he CAN do.
There is the not so obvious: the woman MAY have been dragging him around etc etc. But that gives him no excuse to pontificate in such a manner.

We obviously know he is a tool and she may be one too. But if relationships in general follow what my marriage is like, she is a saint and he is a tool. She keeps him in check most of the time. Like an exotic beast in the zoo sometimes he escapes and causes havoc on the populace.



> Hey Paul… nothing like blaming the wife for dragging her husband around to spend money on stuff they don t need instead of just admitting the guy was a putz! Maybe she should have sent him to the car to sit and wait… sorta like a misbehaving kid - NOTE: this is all said tongue in cheek but there is an element of truth….
> 
> - ellen35


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## dhazelton (Feb 11, 2012)

I vote you said nothing wrong. In fact it could be construed as 'oh, are you a fellow woodworker - nice to meet you.' He probably got indignant when you asked that because he realized he couldn't actually copy your piece and it embarrassed him.


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## PineSucks (Aug 3, 2015)

"Oh, you make these as well? Where's your table?"

*silence*


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## BurlyBob (Mar 13, 2012)

bosom 3919. That was a good one!


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## SenecaWoodArt (Dec 19, 2013)

> bosom 3919. That was a good one!
> 
> - BurlyBob


That was as polite of a way that I could think of to tell him to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. It took him a few seconds, but he figured out what I was telling him. These two weren't your normal run of the mill ego driven jerks. They were obviously on the prowl to figure out a way to compete with myself and other vendors. If they had come in asked questions and acted politely, I would have told them anything they wanted to know. since I am not doing anything that is top secret. But, you want to be a jerk, well I am too damn old and set in my ways to put up with it.


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## soob (Feb 3, 2015)

In the days of yore, men would often literally kill each other over insults. It took a long time for the "better man" approach to sink in and be accepted.

But accepted it is. If you respond to an insult with anything but professionalism, courtesy, and kindness, bystanders are going to receive it poorly. And that's doubly true if you're trying to sell something-customers are going to see you as someone who likes to fight and who will fight with them if they have an issue.

The best thing you can do is smile. If you absolutely have to respond, smile at him and wink at everybody else.


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## TTF (Sep 13, 2009)

The same insecurity that made him say that he could easily make it also made him react poorly. You can't fix an insecure man - he has to fix himself, if he has the courage.

I like the way you put this - you're doing your best to friendly and not offensive. That seems to be enough to me.


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## rustfever (May 3, 2009)

I recently had a potential buyer of a huge Maple Burl try to Jew me down to about 20% of my asking price. He asked how I could justify charging him my asking price.
My response was: 
"I did not see you around when I drove 750 miles to get the tree or the 750 miles home. You did not help felling the tree or clean up the brush/limbs. I did not see you help loading the tree, or tying it down. I did not see you offer to put 4 tanks of fuel into my pickup. You did not help sawing, sorting, stacking, sealing and drying the wood.
Therefore, I can ask any price I want. And by the way, the price to you has just increased 50% above the marked price!" 
With that I turned and walked away. The several others standing around applauded. The cheap-skate buyer ran off without another word.


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## Tugboater78 (May 26, 2012)

> I recently had a potential buyer of a huge Maple Burl try to Jew me down to about 20% of my asking price. He asked how I could justify charging him my asking price.
> My response was:
> "I did not see you around when I drove 750 miles to get the tree or the 750 miles home. You did not help felling the tree or clean up the brush/limbs. I did not see you help loading the tree, or tying it down. I did not see you offer to put 4 tanks of fuel into my pickup. You did not help sawing, sorting, stacking, sealing and drying the wood.
> Therefore, I can ask any price I want. And by the way, the price to you has just increased 50% above the marked price!"
> ...


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## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

> Last weekend I was opening my booth early in the morning when two men came in with no one else around. They were looking over my items with one telling the other, we can make this or we can make that, with no regard to how I might feel about any of this. The one who was not saying much picked up one of my oven rack tools and started studying it, obviously confused as to it s use. He asked me what it was and I chose to ignore him. There was obviously no sale here. He asked again in a louder voice and the devil got the better part of me. Since no one else was around to be offended, I replied, that s a hemroid remover. He gave me one sincere go to hell look before he put it down and moved on.I am sure some here will be offended and disagree with me, but it made my day.
> 
> - bosum3919


That's hilarious. It removed the hemorrhoid from your booth, didn't it?


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## mojapitt (Dec 31, 2011)

With the Maple burl. I asked a supplier once why a part was so expensive. Simple reply was "because I have it and you want it". I think the same goes for the burl.


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## BikerDad (Jul 16, 2008)

He was blustering and dismissing the work you've done, you called him on it, embarrassing him in front of his gal. It's his problem, not yours.

Next time you encounter a situation like this, rather than asking if the speaker has a woodshop or otherwise posing what can easily be interpreted as a direct challenge, simply say something along the lines of "oh, that's great. Perhaps some day you can bring yours by and we swap stories." If he's the blustering type, there's nothing he can say to that, yet "sure, some day. As if" will be running through the gal's mind. Killing 'em with kindness. Others will see that you're a cheerful craftsman who is confident in what you do.

Win.
Win.
Win.
For you.


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