# Lumber Jokes



## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

Looking at all the negatives happenings in the past several years; great recession, wars, etc., I sure could use a laugh. So, if you have funny joke, YouTube clip or a funny life story, please share.
Thanks


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## skiler (Jan 17, 2013)

Try here. There is about 38 pages worth.

http://lumberjocks.com/topics/8382


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Some days …. Enough is Enough!

So… Maybe it's time to let a Little Frustration Loose!

Maybe it'll make you FEEL BETTER.


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Failing that, you could always take your Motorcycle out for a Nice Relaxing Drive.

At 200 MPH!


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## distrbd (Sep 14, 2011)

Skiler,it's all about wood humor:








Although this one is not but I like it:


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Good One Ken!


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Every time I go to the Men's Room that has my Custom Made Fishing Seat I KNOW someone is watching me!


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Wanna Split Some Firewood?

THIS should do it for you!


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

I guess before the Firewood you have to get the LOGS.


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

I've seen this a Dozen Times and still enjoy it. Maybe DETERMINATION is the key word.

At the end he just drives away …."Ho Hum. What's Next." ...LOL..

PS: You think anyone is Watching or Reading these? 606 Views and not one comment?

Maybe just back off for a while and see.


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## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

Thanks for the laugh guys. Next time you sell a wooden spoon, be sure to tell them about this alternative use of them!


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## splatman (Jul 27, 2014)

That guy in the corner sure is not nice. Someone needs to take that spoon from him and whack him in the rear with it. Bad boy! Then send him outside and tell him to clean up after this!


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## splatman (Jul 27, 2014)

When French Cleats just won't cut it.


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## distrbd (Sep 14, 2011)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Wanna Split some more wood?

This is called. ""Whatever Turns Your Crank"."

Wonder if Canadian Tire might sell these "Corkscrews"?


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

I've watched this Video Many Times. "Man & Beast"? NAH! It's something Beautiful!

Have a look and see what you're Reaction is.

Is there a Fitting Description for what happens HERE?

I can only wish that I was on that boat doing what these guys did.


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## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

Man v.s. wood!


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## gfadvm (Jan 13, 2011)

That "saving the whale" vid was pretty incredible! With my luck she would have drowned me.


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## distrbd (Sep 14, 2011)

What a great feeling it would be to save a whale.


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

> That "saving the whale" vid was pretty incredible! With my luck she would have drowned me.
> 
> - gfadvm





> What a great feeling it would be to save a whale.
> 
> - distrbd


Glad you guys had a look at that one. One of my all time favorites on YouTube. It's amazing how the whale shows his appreciation by following the boat for an hour I think it was and doing all those jumps and turns then waving goodbye with his tail.

A few hours before that he was a Goner!! Great feeling for sure Ken!

Thanks for checking it out Guys.

Rick


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

> That guy in the corner sure is not nice. Someone needs to take that spoon from him and whack him in the rear with it. Bad boy! Then send him outside and tell him to clean up after this!
> 
> - splatman


splatman:

That was amazing! Black Powder! Who ever would of thought you could do that in the first place? Pretty Damn Accurate also from what I saw.

Thanks for Posting that one.

Rick


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## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

What an incredible accomplishment, freeing that whale! Has to have made his year, at the least.


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## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

I have moments of divine insight, usually followed by a decade or so of complete stupidity.

When you shoot do you actually aim or are you using the Force?

If I am killed someone please tell my mother I had on clean underwear. It is in my right front cargo pocket.


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*<<< TRUE >>>*


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Check out the "Alignment" here. Look okay?


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Do YOU have a copy?


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*Think it'll "Stay On"?*


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## Daruc (Apr 20, 2015)

> Check out the "Alignment" here. Look okay?
> 
> - Rick


one just hangs a little lower, isn't that natural?


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*Stupid White Man! *


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

> Check out the "Alignment" here. Look okay?
> 
> - Rick
> 
> ...


I meant the "Gear Meshing" You Prevert! FCUK! I spelled that wrong! I spelled that wrong to!

..LOL..

Rick


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*I LOVE To Fish! .... Maybe Even "HOOKED"!!*


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*For All The "SHEEPLE"!*


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*Dedicated To …............*


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

*What A Crying Shame This Was! Diefenbaker should have been Burned at the Stake!*


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## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

True love!


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## Mahdeew (Jul 24, 2013)

Another reason to have an inventory of your tools with approximate prices.


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)




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## distrbd (Sep 14, 2011)




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## splatman (Jul 27, 2014)

Classy protruding joinery!


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## Magnum (Feb 5, 2010)

Hey Andy:

This little guy "Jiff" is one fast little Pony! I THINK somewhere in the video they said he is a "Shetland Gelding"?

The big guy ain't no Slacker either.

Just thought you might enjoy seeing some Healthy Horse's.

The Trainer ain't so Shabby either! ...LOL..

Rick


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## gfadvm (Jan 13, 2011)

Hey Rick! That little Shetland stud looks like a handful to me. Those "tricks" make for cute videos but I would not let my granddaughters around either one of them. The trainer had to be pretty light on her feet to keep from getting kicked a couple of times. She is basically "playing horse" with them and horses "play" pretty rough.


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## waho6o9 (May 6, 2011)

Let's do a bathroom remodel:


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## Dark_Lightning (Nov 20, 2009)

> Let s do a bathroom remodel:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


LoL, man, I have seen those people!


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## waho6o9 (May 6, 2011)

Hilarious


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## OleGrump (Jun 16, 2017)

Pinocchio went to the doctor because he was having some pain in his groin. After examining him, the doctor turned and said gravely "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, my boy, but you've got root-rot".....

Gepetto was upset when Pinocchio came home from school one day. "You dirty, nasty boy! You have nothing but evil, lustful thoughts! You're gonna go STRAIGHT to Hell thinking like this. "Papa, I'm a GOOD boy, I don't have bad thoughts about girls like that! Why do you accuse me of these things. Gepetto crooked his head and said "Why am I a find SAP on you bed sheets…...???"


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