# Woodworking sayings and proverbs...



## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

You know them, things like "measure twice, cut once" and "f__k with the ancients and get blocked". Let's put a list together. Got any pithy, snarky ones to share?


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## madts (Dec 30, 2011)

" Cut it 3 times and still too short !!!"


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## Bogeyguy (Sep 26, 2012)

WTF did I do?????


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## waho6o9 (May 6, 2011)

Get the board stretcher


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

Can't see it from my house


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

Welllll , you'll have that on the bigger jobs…


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## renners (Apr 9, 2010)

Here are a few examples of Irish expressions pertaining to woodworking

It's leaning on the Ballycallan side - meaning it's not plumb

As tight as a tail on a cat - meaning a good fit has been achieved

We're on the pig's back - meaning things are going well.


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## Tkf (Feb 14, 2013)

"It's apart of the design."


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Wood insures you have children to pass your skills to.


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## Howie (May 25, 2010)

Fill in the blanks…....


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

When the house is built, the carpenter is forgotten.


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

A Painter covers all of a Carpenters Mistakes, a Doctor buries his.


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## DanYo (Jun 30, 2007)

The job is done, when the last brick is laid,


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## teejk (Jan 19, 2011)

back up to DKV…only if the carpenter manages to get out of town after the check clears but before the walk-through. and who would be the "ancients"?

anyway, I'll contribute…"close enough for government work…nail it".

and a saying that pretty much applies to anything when things really go wrong, "shut her down Clancy, she's pumping mud". I think that is a water-drilling or oil drilling thing…I'd suggest you do not stretch that to the bar scene. just saying…


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Teejk, we have a few on this site. You guess and I'll nod if you're right.


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## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

I never did mind the little things.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. = in Iraq
You can run, you'll just die tired! = in Iraq
Go to hell? In case you have not noticed we are in hell moron, what you want me to sit in the corner? = in Iraq 
For the love of Moses and all the prophets what are you doing? Talking them to death? = in Iraq
When you shoot do you actually aim or are you using the Force? = in Iraq
I have one method, shoot first, shoot some more then ask the questions. = in Iraq
Rules of engagement? What we are playing checkers dumbass? = in Iraq

In Iraq means I said it on the radio while in Iraq, and was written up for it of course

The one comment that got me a serious reaming from the Base Commander:
*Moses, Elijah, and all the prophets you need to use the toilet? Now? What do you propose? Calling a time out? Your Mother did drugs while she was pregnant with you didn't she?*


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## PittsburghTim (Jan 16, 2012)

A few from my Dad, who built homes on speculation for many years.

"Caulk and paint cover a multitude of sins."

"Plumbing is a bastards trade." (He had a plumber notch triple floor joists that were put in place to support a mortar bed for a slate entryway when he was building our family home. The plumber insisted it was the only way only to have my Dada show him a simple alternative that required no cutting. The plumber was good enough to repair the joists with steel fish plates.)


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## Bonka (Apr 13, 2012)

I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I am not sure you realize that what you think you 
heard is not what I meant.


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## shipwright (Sep 27, 2010)

Nail 'er where she's to. 
Boatbuilding expression.
When a piece of planking is bent onto a hull and clamped tight to the frames (to), you can drive the boat nails. You never drive them if she ain't "to". They'll work loose.

That's f**k all in a big ship.
Never my attitude but an old expression none the less.


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

Cut to the line, but leave a blond hair….


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## Quanter50 (Feb 11, 2012)

Buy him books, send him to school, and what does he do? He eats the teacher!


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Bandit, blond hair? That's not what we said. You from Scandinavia?


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## shipwright (Sep 27, 2010)

Did you say a red one?


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Poopie and Joe, join us. I'm sure with your years and experience you should have some doozies to share. I'd pm you fine gents but you both have me blocked. Your loss I'm sure.


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## stan3443 (Mar 3, 2012)

make chicken soup out of chicken sh!t


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)

Should be mandatory posting on all woodworking tools.


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## DKV (Jul 18, 2011)




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## stan3443 (Mar 3, 2012)

you got a liscence to drive that …....(wheelbarow)


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## bandit571 (Jan 20, 2011)

"Got to shake hands with the president of the Company" ( said on the way to the Porta-john)


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## b2rtch (Jan 20, 2010)

It is very difficult to do nothing, as you never know when you are done.


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## Billp (Nov 25, 2006)

Balls said the queen,if I had two I'd be King. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we,d all have a merry Christmas.


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## JoeinGa (Nov 26, 2012)

*Good enough for the girls we go with*


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## JoeinGa (Nov 26, 2012)

Oh yeah… this one will fit in here well also…
.
.
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*RTFM*


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## chrisstef (Mar 3, 2010)

Ive been using the "good enough" line forever Joe, i love it.

"If its worth doin, its worth doin right"

Well if it only went this way a few more inches … 
Yea, and if my aunt had balls, shed be my uncle.


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## 559dustdesigns (Sep 23, 2009)

- Kiss (keep it simple stupid)
- " it's not rocket science" 
- "Good enough form government work" 
- My old boss who was never in the military used to say "look here's a little something I learned in Nam" 
That's all I've got sorry if they were preciously posted.


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## bradleys (Feb 6, 2016)

okay, obviously the classics have been said but heres a couple examles of our urban dictionary at work in vancouver bc.
1.give er the old juliette louise dryfit.
2.leanardo halfinchski (half inch)
3.mr hollands opis starring richard dryfit.
4.cape fear starring nick notchy(any time you need a notch)
5.if your on a ladder reaching to the point of being unsafe….the christina reachy


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## woodbutcherbynight (Oct 21, 2011)

If it was easy everyone would do it!


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