I want to try and explain whats happened that has brought me to where I am now.. What has caused me to move around in a serious funk for the last few weeks.. that thing that has shaken even the foundations of my patriotism and honor. Well….........a little over 15 years ago while at work, I had my left leg crushed by a 700 series back-hoe bucket full of gravel. I spent the next 30 days in the hospital, the first two days in the trauma unit, had two surgeries the first week, then one a week for the next three… needed three more after that before they were through. My left foot is permanently deformed, lost the middle of the five toes, none of the four remaining ones move, my foot no longer moves, and I have lost 90 plus percent movement in my left ankle. The doctor has told me more than once, that she would have been fully justified in removing it right below the knee when it first happened. there are a few days a month when I wish that she had.. After being out of work for about a year, I tried to return to work, and did return for 6 years. I was moved into the dispatch position.
Around the end of the 6 year back, my nerve pain and the lightning bolts that go with it, had caused me to
need over 500mg of Morphine a day to go and do my job. Even at that level, I was still in terrible pain 24/7. My foot feels like a solid block of ice, so solid that it would ring like glass if you flicked with your finger and my toes feel like someone is holding a match under them.. constant burn.. The foot specialist said that if you thought of my nerves as extension cords, and took all the insulation off all the cords, then tied them all into big balls of bare wire, then plug them in and what do you get? well that is my foot.. nice.. So anyway back to the job… I am sitting at a desk answering the phones and handling the radio calls, etc.. doing my job.. and they decide that its to big a liability for me to be there and taking so much morphine.. We can’t have that, what if someone got hurt… TO late some one already did.. So they put me out on compensation with the intent to retire me… Now had they done that, back in 06 when all this started, things would have been fine… instead they left me on compensation for 7 years. Workers comp was intended for short term situations to keep employees from falling behind on their bills while down with an injury.. not to try and live on for years and years.. everything that I had finally achieved in life, my own home.. out in the country,, couple acres with it.. nice car for the wife, paid for… decent second hand truck for me..making payments… things were okay.. not living high on the hog, but living..well after 7 years of workers comp…. NO house..NO truck…..lesser car for wife.. renting little house..barely making ends meet…
....then after all this time, waiting and waiting…. they made me an offer that made me feel like I had been shot….. crippled for life…will never have another pain free day as long as I live…they didn’t offer enough money to buy the house I lost… So that may be why I have decided to come here and vent…Because of some of the things I have written on this site and a video of me playing my guitar at a church function, they have convinced a comminsioner that I can go to work and be a door greater at Walmart.. so they cut my comp by nearly half… I am not mad…. or angry… discouraged maybe… awestruck… dumbfounded.. they are expecting me to live on less than $350.. a week… can you? can anyone…not enough to take my foot away, or any chance to teach my grandkids about the important things.. like fishing, hunting,camping,hiking,trapping.. none of it..can’t do it any more.. not to mention play football, or baseball.. or just go to the park and run around.. nope..
that’s not enough pain for one life.. lets just take everything he has ever earned and take that too… oh and by the way… lets make his life a living hell while we are at it… doesn’t that sound like great fun…what should we do next month.. boils and scabs.. the plague of flies…
okay now I am worked up but good.. time for me to stop…I will start saying things that I will regret in the morning… God Bless you all… good night..