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Male or Female?

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Forum topic by Karson posted 08-21-2009 09:55 PM 1238 views 0 times favorited 21 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Karson

34916 posts in 3155 days


08-21-2009 09:55 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

”FREEZER BAGS:” They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

”PHOTOCOPIERS:” These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

”TIRES:” Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

”HOT AIR BALLOONS:” Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their bottom.

”SPONGES:” These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water..(ain’t that the truth)

”WEB PAGES:” Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

”TRAINS:” Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

”EGG TIMERS:” Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

”HAMMERS:” Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

”THE REMOTE CONTROL:” Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

”New Law:”

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a ‘Women Only’ parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †


21 replies so far

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15822 posts in 2973 days


#1 posted 08-21-2009 10:01 PM

”TIRES:” Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

I resemble that remark!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View PurpLev's profile

PurpLev

8476 posts in 2403 days


#2 posted 08-21-2009 10:10 PM

haha, so good. (both of you)

-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

View pommy's profile

pommy

1697 posts in 2446 days


#3 posted 08-21-2009 11:03 PM

Charlie i think we both the butt of that joke LOL….....

Andy

-- cut it saw it scrap it SKPE: ANDREW.CARTER69

View cypresswoodworker's profile

cypresswoodworker

89 posts in 2101 days


#4 posted 08-21-2009 11:37 PM

I’m still pressing all the wrong buttons ! And the tire is becomming over inflated. Still ain’t bald just losing all the color !

-- If at first you don't succeed...Buy another tool !!

View Bureaucrat's profile

Bureaucrat

18329 posts in 2407 days


#5 posted 08-22-2009 01:39 AM

Dresser: Female, according to Cream in the 70’s they said a woman is like a dresser, someone is always going through their drawers.

-- Gary

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

112943 posts in 2332 days


#6 posted 08-22-2009 03:14 AM

Funny stuff

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View cabinetmaster's profile

cabinetmaster

10874 posts in 2313 days


#7 posted 08-22-2009 03:35 AM

ROFLMAO…...............Thanks Karson and Bozo for the laughs. I needed that after today…........LOL

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View Loucarb's profile

Loucarb

2388 posts in 2200 days


#8 posted 08-22-2009 04:17 AM

Perfect to bring a smile after a long week. Thanks

View kolwdwrkr's profile

kolwdwrkr

2821 posts in 2345 days


#9 posted 08-22-2009 04:48 AM

These are hilariously accurate. LOL

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

View mmh's profile

mmh

3485 posts in 2477 days


#10 posted 08-22-2009 05:18 AM

Very funny! Hey, I’m feeling spongy . . .

-- "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." ~ Edgar Allan Poe

View mtnwild's profile

mtnwild

3474 posts in 2282 days


#11 posted 08-22-2009 05:52 AM

Funny, thanks for that…..................

-- mtnwild (Jack), It's not what you see, it's how you see it.

View jeffthewoodwacker's profile

jeffthewoodwacker

603 posts in 2559 days


#12 posted 08-23-2009 02:07 AM

Very funny.

-- Those that say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

View Dusty56's profile

Dusty56

11688 posts in 2443 days


#13 posted 08-23-2009 02:28 AM

Thanks for the humor , Karson : )

-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

View sharad's profile

sharad

1066 posts in 2559 days


#14 posted 08-23-2009 08:21 AM

Karson, you are definitely a male because you have a sense of humor.
Sharad

-- “If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they have never tried a new thing in their life”.-Albert Einstein

View FlWoodRat's profile

FlWoodRat

732 posts in 2664 days


#15 posted 08-23-2009 01:07 PM

Karson, VERY FUNNY. Thanks for posting it.

”Light Bulb” Mixed Gender: Male because it’s easy to turn on. Female because it’s bright!

-- I love the smell of sawdust in the morning....

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