woodworking humor

OK

-- Drink once, cut twice. New website up.... lazylarrywoodworks.com.au

Uh huh . . . . . it must be late somewhere!!

Oy!

-- When you give someone a chance it may well be their last.

Ba-bump!! Where’s Henny Youngman when you need him?
“My Doctor gave me six months to live. Couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me another six months!” “I Love this Crowd!!”
Or Phyllis Diller? “My Husband brought a book to bed on our wedding night. I wouldn’t mind so much if he had read, but he colored!!”

-- Mike in Manchester, NH---Unpleasant tasks are simply worthy challenges to improve skills.

Yes but did the russian guy shoot the rabbit with a bow and arrow or did the carver get electrocuted plugging in his dremel. You,re drinking way too much of that cat crap coffee dan.

-- if the hand is not working it is not a pure hand

No, no… remember, it’s gin AND tonic.

A couple where on a country drive. A rabbit ran out in front of them and was rolled by the car. They stop to see if the rabbit was Ok. The rabbit was breathing but not moving, they did not know what to do.
They where stopped in front of a beauty salon and an hairdresser came to see if she could help. She saw the rabbit and said she would be right back. When she came back she had a bottle and spoon and proceeded to give the rabbit some fluid. All of the sudden the rabbit jumped up and ran into the bushes waiving. The couple was amazed and asked what did you give the rabbit. the hair dressed exclaimed Hair restoration with a permanent waive.

-- Ron Central, CA

HMMM

-- Jim from Heirloom Woodshop Southern Oregon

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

I’m with Odie. Where’s the humor that’s suppose to be here???

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas

I guess I must have missed it all…................LOL

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

read it again … very slowly … and check the punch line spellin

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Yea, I should have read it again myself, thats why I don’t post much.

-- Ron Central, CA

DUH, ARE WE THERE YET?.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

I’m with you grumpy …. would the rest of you please catch !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

I didn’t write ... just cut and paste !!

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Bob’s woodworking shop was a one-man operation til the housing boom of the 90’s made it necessary to hire two people. So he hired Jack, a professional cabinetmaker, and Jill, an apprentice. Things went very well for Bob until this recent downturn of the economy. Bob’s accountant made it clear that one of his crew would have to go. Jack was unreliable, taking days off and not very productive, but had the skills. Jill was learning, and ambitious, and had good managerial skills but not yet competent on all machines.
Bob’s dilemma was this: Should he lay Jill or Jack off?

-- If Stradivarius was alive today, he'd be using Gorilla Glue.

That was a beauty Dan it’s the way you tell them that has me laughing for seconds.Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

Well, I get it and it’s a bit funnier than you think.

myspace layouts

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

Did someone say “Woodworking Humor”?

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Dan, don’t quit your day job.

-- Smitty!!!

Ya well poop I am not laughing, maybe the next one

-- --<<<<<< I will not stop until I get it right. >>>>>>--

Someone from Germany sells this wooden boob on Ebay.
The artist says that he had boobs of his wife in front of his eyes when he was making this wooden copy.
When you want to buy one it will cost you 129 EUR.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

Re: The outhouse.
I think I’d have to hold it or write my name in the snow.

-- Gene

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Pinocchio went to see his old friend Gepetto about a problem he was having. Seems Pinocchio had a new girlfriend, who complained of getting splinters every time they were intimate. Gepetto brought Pinocchio into his workshop, and handed him some sheets of fine sandpaper. “Take these and sand yourself smooth, and you won’t have that problem anymore” Gepetto advised.
Two weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio skipping down the street. “Pinocchio, did you solve that problem with your girlfriend” he asked.
“Girlfriend? Who needs a girlfriend?” Pinocchio replied.

-- If Stradivarius was alive today, he'd be using Gorilla Glue.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Before I ret. we would it red cunt hair they were smaller

-- Michael . USN ( Ret ) Batesville,AR

I seen some on a ladies face once. Right under her nose.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)