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451 days ago
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Topic tags/keywords:
satire
humor
On or about July 27, we awoke to find my wife’s truck stolen, personal items, golf clubs and assorted things missing. This is a surreal experience if I’ve ever had one. Wake up, look out the garage, see the doors open, truck gone. Dammit!
I phone the police. Nice gal, the dispatcher. She takes some information that I soon realize I’m going to have to repeat 47 times, but she said an officer is on the way. We live in a small town and the police station is about a 3 wood away, so I wait. And wait. And wait. I look out the window and see a police car drive by the house. Hmmmm. I go outside and the police car comes by again. I wave. She looks at me and continues to drive by. Hmmmm. I wave my arms at her. She’s not looking anymore. I get annoyed. I phone the dispatch and say, “I’m glad I’m not getting bonked on the head.” She’s humorless now, but states that she’ll inform the officer to look for my frantic waving on the driveway.
Four police officers come. Really nice kids, all of them. I’m sure 1 of them might have been born by the time I’d finished university. The others, I’m not so sure. All pleasant though. Cheerfulness that comes with youth, a summer day, and a cool job. Experienced? Not so much. Anyway, they go on to tell me that 1 to 2 vehicles a week are being stolen out of this area. Hmmmm. They go on to tell me that they live clse by and would certainly never leave anything out of a locked garage. Hmmmm. You see, in healthcare, it’s the equivalent of telling someone they have something really rare. It’s not comforting.
Realizing the things that are missing, I’m getting more and more agitated. Watching the bunglings of new officers as they try and go CSI on my garage gave me a pain behind my eye. I said nothing. I love to see enthusiasm, and after all, I was 12 once too.
Now, this garage is alarmed by one of the more prominent monitored companies. The alarm didn’t’ go off. I’m perturbed and call the alarm company. They start falling all over themselves about that. Can’t have a break in with an alarm that doesn’t sound. I get to spend my entire Saturday going through diagnostics with an alarm tech. He concludes that it’s functioning normally, but not installed correctly. As it was the alarm company that installed it, I’m really getting mad. They say it’s a contracted installation so they can do nothing about it but hook it up right and hope things go along swimmingly from that point. There’s that pain behind my eye again.
We get a call from a good samaritan. He found some of my wife’s ID thrown by the side of a road. He’s a cool guy because he even called the credit card company to inform that he had found the card. Nice guy. He phones, we speak, and ask him to take the stuff to the local police where he lives and we’ll go from there. We get a call from a constable that states a fairly lengthy and detailed inventory of the things this man dropped off. I make arrangements to go get them.
Blowing off another entire day, but this time dragging my poor kids along with me, we go to fetch this stuff. Upon arriving at the detachment, they can’t find the stuff. Nowhere to be found. Can’t find the guy I spoke to. He’s not answering his phone. We wait, and wait, and wait. My 2 year old son is ready to chew his arm off to escape. The officer comes in and can’t find the stuff either. It turns out that the property was mistakenly given to someone else, but they didn’t record who they gave it to. Hmmmm. Pain behind my eye. I say, “You guys are the elite. The feds. The real deal. What the hell do you mean you gave it to someone else?” Anyway, if you thought they weren’t helpful before, point out the specifics of their screw up and they get even less helpful. We went to Chucky Cheeses for a couple of hours to placate my son.
Our truck was recovered that Monday. The same officer who lost our goods called and said he had good news. Our truck was recovered. The theives drove it into a pond, but it doesnt’ look to bad. Pain behind my eye again. “It doesn’t look too bad?” Anyway, we call our insurance company, give them the location of the yard it was towed to and then we wait. You see, we can’t go get it until the insurance company looks at it. They were quite happy to inform us that they are dealing with many other customers and are very busy. They’ll get it to it when they can. I can only sigh at this point.
Two days later, we have heard nothing. I call the insurance company. She says, “Is that the truck that is at——” I said, “I don’t know? Is it?” I really didn’t know. I’m not sure what she said and thought it was some insurance company specific lingo. She replies back, “How can you NOT know?” I told her, “I’m not all that savvy about being robbed, I’ll do a better job next time.” She says, “We have a zero abuse policy in dealing with telephone inquiries,” and hangs up on me. There’s that pain behind my eye again.
After talking with another insurance person, we get the truck towed to the local dealer who is supposed to do a mechanical inspection and clean the truck. Fine. Two days later, we hear nothing. I go down to the dealership and the service manager says, “We haven’t seen it yet. Has it been towed here?” I just blink. I want to say, “While I’ve been holding station on your lot for the last two days, I haven’t seen it either.” I hold my tongue and ask him to call me when it gets there.
Just for fun, I drive around the lot. There’s the truck. It’s sitting in the rain with all it’s windows open. The body shop says it’s been here for two days and why haven’t I picked it up. The pain behind my eye is becoming a permanent fixture now. I call the service guy back and tell him. He says he’ll handle it. Two weeks went by and we didn’t hear anything. Nothing from the alarm company, nothing from the police, nothing from the insurance company. The pain behind my eye, now affectionately named Sharon, has subsided so I start making calls again.
The alarm company hasn’t gotten a report from the inspector yet. Great. The police haven’t figured out who they gave my stuff too yet. Great. The truck hasn’t been detailed but the mechanical inspection is done. We still can’t get it. Great. I go buy another one and sell that one. It’s proving to be too much of a hassle.
Now the icing on the cake. Yesterday, I get a photo radar ticket in the mail. This truck, the afternoon of the theft, speeding through a school zone. The irony in that…well one of the several, is that a truck reported stolen and whose license plate was canceled, was ticketed 8 hours after it was reported stolen and we get the ticket. I’m going to court on this. I’m sure I can write a letter, but I think it might be fun to tell my story. I know the judge. He’s going to cringe when I come in. I don’t think he’ll toss me for contempt though. It might be fun.
Cheers, and here’s my new rules of theft prevention:
1. Don’t leave anything in your car. Don’t leave insurance, registration, nothing. Have a little duffel bag or knapsack that contains all of your information and car stuff that hangs by the door. Take it with you when you leave.
2. If you’re going to leave your vehicle outside. After you follow rule #1, leave it unlocked. If they are going to steal it, your lock isn’t slowing them down. If they want to rifle through it, you may find that it saves you the hassle of replacing your windows or door locks.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Tom
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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451 days ago
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Wow Tom. What a story. I guess it can only get better. I was under the impression that Canada was a better place to live than the US. Sounds like we are on par.
-- We must guard our enthusiasm as we would our life - James Krenov
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451 days ago
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Tom,
I feel for you, my friend. It all sounds too familiar. There is way too much incompetancy out there these days. And worse, sometimes they don’t even care.
You’ve still got your sense of humor, and that’s a good thing. While reading this episode, you had me in stiches with laughter!
I hope you can get things back on an even keel again, and that you stay a “newbie,” when it comes to being robbed.
-- Tom, Surfside Beach, SC - Romans 8:28
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451 days ago
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Mot, if your story were not so true of our society today it would make a great movie plot.
Unfortunately, you are not exaggerating and this awful, arrogant incompetency is rampant.
I have been in business for over 30 years and never have I ever experienced this level of carelessness and down right incompetency that I have in the last 5 years.
I wont bother to give any examples because your story tells it all and it seems to be happening to us all.
No wonder we sneak into our burrows and make woody things.
Bob
-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner
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451 days ago
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silver lining: you have a new friend!!! (Sharon)
and this is what makes you so special—you got a bucket of lemons and you are still making fun and you problem-solved: buy a new one, and go to court. Perfect.
love the “abuse” response… customer service people.. customer service!!! :)
Sorry to hear about all the hassles you have gone through (on top of the robbery).
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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451 days ago
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”silver lining: you have a new friend!!! (Sharon)” - Debbie
Debbie – that is just WRONG ;^D
-- Tom, Surfside Beach, SC - Romans 8:28
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451 days ago
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But was funny, wrong, but funny. : ^ )
-- We must guard our enthusiasm as we would our life - James Krenov
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451 days ago
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Mot,
Any particular reason why you chose the name “Sharon” for the pain in the back of your eye?
-- Tom, Surfside Beach, SC - Romans 8:28
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451 days ago
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Tom,
Don’t tell anyone, but I have a sister-in-law named Sharon, who gives me the exact same pain.
Cheers! ;)
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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451 days ago
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What a yarn! I feel for you, pard.
-- Thos. Angle, Owyhee Design, Oregon
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451 days ago
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Tom: Great story, Wish that it was fiction. Sorry for your pain.
-- Karson Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com
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451 days ago
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”Don’t tell anyone, but I have a sister-in-law named Sharon, who gives me the exact same pain.” – Mot
OK, I was thinking mother-in-law. I was close ;^D
-- Tom, Surfside Beach, SC - Romans 8:28
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451 days ago
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LOLOLOLOLO
Tom . . . you tell a mighty fine story. I feel really bad for you . . . but Im laughing at the same time. This is not right.
From time to time out here there are “waves” of break-ins. People get on the local newsgroups and say exactly what you said . . . leave your doors unlocked.
One thing that I don’t understand is that sometimes the vehicles are “borrowed” and when they are finished running their errands . . . they burn the vehicle.
-- The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them
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451 days ago
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We had a bunch of people canoeing here local that found a dead body in the water. Our local police gave them a ticket for no life vest. This in a state you can go 75 mph on a motor bike with no helmet….I wish it was fiction too.
-- http://www.woodsongsfurniture.com
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451 days ago
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what do you mean “wrong”??? The situation was wrong!!! Tom’s the one that named her, not me!!!!
((blinking innocently)) :)
dennis… that’s bad…. the stories are so … sad :(
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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451 days ago
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I think there is only a hand full of people who could put such a spin on a tragic situation. I was laughing and crying with you. About that eye pain… mine is Jane (mother-in-law).
I am however, sincerely sorry for your loss and difficulties. A sad world we live in today.
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451 days ago
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Tom…you are a better man than I…..I would have gone postal around paragraph 7 or 8. Sorry to hera about it (very funny though the way you tell it). I went through something similar (but not as frustrating) twenty years ago but my cops were old and out of shape with powdered sugar (doughnut dust?) on their shirts.
-- Bob, Carver Massachusetts, Sawdust Maker http://www.capecodbaychallenge.org
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451 days ago
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Great story, Tom. Wish there were less Sharon momments. Best of luck with your city’s finest, etc.
-- Rob (A) Waxahachie,TX
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451 days ago
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Tom let us know if we need to pony up for a “Free Mot” fund after your court date. I’m working on the placards for the civilly disobedient march in front of the constabulary even now…
-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.
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451 days ago
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I couldn’t help but laugh…sorry.
I know that was a horrible experience but you tell it in such an entertaining fashion.
Wish I could be there for your date with Hizzoner.
-- Jesus was a Jewish carpenter.
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451 days ago
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Well, it is funny if you look at it. As I’ve found with this little experience…it’s very rare that you find someone that is actually doing a good job. It makes Lumberjocks quite refreshing as the “most skilled” and the “just starting” groups are putting in a solid and pure effort. The rest of the world seems to be coasting through. shrug What’s a fella to do? :)
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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450 days ago
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Sorry to hear about the lose Tom, as well as the crazy antics you had to go through. I hope it is the only time you have to go through this.
-- Bill, Turlock California, http://www.brookswoodworks.com
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450 days ago
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I just had an “interaction” with someone this week regarding my juicer (of one year) that quit working. The company gave me a list of their customer service centres where I could get it fixed. When i called a service centre and said that I hadn’t purchased it from them the response was (with a laugh) “We are in business to make money, not to fix some else’s broken stuff.” And they are the designated “fix everyone’s stuff centre”.
Then when I said that I didn’t have my receipt, he said, “well then how do we know you didn’t steal it?”
The company didn’t sound pleased in their email, when I shared my experience with them.
This doesn’t come close to your experience but it’s still interesting to “watch” how people do their jobs. fascinating, I say, Fascinating!
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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450 days ago
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I feel bad for laughing, but after all great customer service experiences you had, it’s the only emotion that comes to mind. I feel for you. I had a similar (well, not really – your’s was way worse) thing happen. I’m embarrassed to say that I left my briefcase in my car overnight last year. I went out to go to work the next day and it had run away. I have a convertible so I don’t lock the door as a butterknife will get you into it. My notebook PC in my case was a gift from my brother and sister that I got about a month prior. Anyways, 5 months later my wife calls me at work and says I’m not going to believe what happened. A woman came to the door looking for me and told her that she found my stuff in her 13yr old sons closet. The Mom had called the cops since this wasn’t the first time and she needed to get through to her son. Anyways, my PC became evidence at that point. In South Carolina, family court cases take about a year to get to court. I got my PC back 10 months after the cops took possession. The little kid left me a gift of a virus, pirated movies, and porn on my hard disk though. Icing on the cake. Sorry Tom. Nice to see you laughing though.
-- Jeff, South Carolina
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450 days ago
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Jeez Mot, out of the frying pan and into the fire, huh? Looks like you need a lawyer and to go after that alarm company. I used to work for a large alarm company in Akron, Ohio. We installed a hundred systems and we tested every door and window and smoke/fire head and IR and ultrasound device installed to be sure it worked…meaning that it sounded the alarm! By the way…How’s Sharon?
-- Bob Vila would be so proud of you!
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450 days ago
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Jeff, “that’ll learn ya”.. leaving it in the car… sheesh!! :)
I’ve left my purse on the top of my car before… fortunately someone got it to me that very day. Phew.
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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450 days ago
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What? You expect someone to accept responsibility?
Mot, Sherlock Holmes could not have figured out it was your car from the photo that wasn’t even looked at for a week!
The shop left the truck windows open? Didn’t you say it had been found immersed in a pond? What’s the damage? Besides the mechanic didn’t tell the service manager it was done or there was a problem with the computer when they entered the info and it was the IT guys fault!
You forgot to tell us that you didn’t get the full value on the truck because it had been damaged.
And if you had a garage door opener on the doors the crooks could not have opened the door unless you left the door banger out somewhere. Did you?
Jeez! Won’t you ever learn?
What’s the cop’s handicap?
-- No piece is cut too short. It was meant for a smaller project.
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450 days ago
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re: alarm company. I agree—they are the experts on alarms, not you—that’s their job to ensure it gets put in right, not yours!
they are responsible.
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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450 days ago
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Oh yeah, we have a lawyer for the Alarm company. Debbie, I’d like to say I’m suprised by your juicer story. I would by lying though. Jeff, don’t you just love the justice system. That kids sentence was over before you got your laptop back. Sawdust, that’s the modus operandi exactly. Is that evidence of a misspent youth? LOL I’ll update on my trek through suing the alarm company. As for any loss we took due to damage and depreciation with that truck when I sold it? That’s the major part of the claim against the alarm company. Also the usual add ons that come with thinking you are protected when you’re not. When I told my lawyer the story, I think he wet himself like a puppy in the arms of his new owner. I hope it’s fun to watch, though I have low expectations of outcome.
Have a great rest of the week!
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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450 days ago
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just remember that it’s all about the journey and not the end result… just have fun telling your story and watching people’s reactions.. then you won’t be disappointed.
the last part of the juicer story is that I did find the receipt, went back to the place of purchase (Canadian Tire) and told the girl at the desk the situation. She said: “It’s one month past the warranty. I can’t do anything about this.” And I said, “And who DOES have the flexibility to help me?” Girl: “well, the manager is coming down. You can talk to him.”. Manager arrives, I tell him of the situation, he looks at the computer without saying a word, then turns to me and says, ” we will replace it but we can’t give you another year’s warranty because you are past the warranty date on this one.” Me: “thank you so much”. And 5 minutes later I was walking out of the store with my brand new juicer!
(The product company was also pleased to hear about this story, especially since I told them that it saved their good name with me and with everyone I told the story to.)
Juicer: Breville
Store: Canadian Tire.
Debbie: happy happy.
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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450 days ago
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Debbie: happy happy.
You mean there’s another kind?
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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450 days ago
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So sorry Tom, did’nt you just get robbed not to long ago and had a laser system installed. Or was that just a joke. If not I’d say someone has your number. You can’t own a gun if you live in Canada can you? I’d be waiting up for those asses. A little taste of buckshot would be a good reminder. mike
-- Mike. Profisher50@yahoo.com
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450 days ago
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Tom if the laser system by the Nova doesn’t work, please don’t sue me. I left it to R2 Potatoo and Darth Tater to do the final checks… sorry. I did check each and every one of those darn pixels and the one at X=137 by Y=36 had to be replaced 4 times, but the whole smear was go to go when I uploaded it.
-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.
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450 days ago
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I think the DVR is safe, Douglas. It has singed me already when I forget to turn it off!
Mike, we can own guns and there are a few that can buy, own and shoot hand guns. The legislation is pretty tough. If someone invades your house and starts hitting your wife with a bat, if you shoot him, you’ll be violating his rights. At that point, most of the people in the rural area I live in would say, “violate away!” :)
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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450 days ago
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Wow, someone breaks in . . . Is assaulting your spouse, and you can’t use force. I’m happy that they are making efforts to not be trigger happy like so many of us south of your border. I’m with you though. I imagine if I saw someone attacking my wife or kids I would not be contemplating the legal consequences of the manner in which I stop them.
-- Jeff, South Carolina
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389 days ago
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being in the insurance industry I find this a very funny story. I imagine you don’t have a DOI (department of insurance) where you live. Man if I hung up on one of my insured’s when they were frustrated about something their carrier was doing I would get a nice fat BAD FAITH complaint and likely be fined a little bit of money. Not to mention my Errors and Omissions insurance would go through the roof.
I hope all turned out well in the end…I am replying to your post about a decade late…I guess it’s just keeping in the theme of the whole story…
-- Steffen
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389 days ago
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Steffen, the decade late post gave me a chuckle!
Poor Tom :(
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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381 days ago
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We’re still trying to work this out. The insurance company just gave the approval to replace my golf clubs. I replaced them in August. They asked with what money? I said, my own. They said, “It’s not done that way.” I said that I wasn’t going to wait until November to replace my golf clubs when I live in Northern Alberta….the saga continues.
-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)
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381 days ago
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Aren’t you glad you had insurance so things would work out so much better ;^D
Try to hang in there, Tom. “I feel your pain.”
-- Tom, Surfside Beach, SC - Romans 8:28
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381 days ago
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A Nightmare! – I’m so sorry mot – but I agree with others you tell the tale with flare – worthy of publishing. Hopefully, it will work out and others will learn from your experience, (and the crooks will spontaneously combust).
-- The Gnarly Wood Shoppe
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381 days ago
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“It’s not done that way!”
See, I told you before. It’s your fault.
You’re smarter than they are and go right to the point.
Now take those clubs back to the store (It’s too cold to use them now, anyway) get your refund. Get the insurance check and go buy the clubs back. Won’t you ever learn?
Are you a Newfie?
I had a banker do that to me. They were late approving the loan and I had had to pay for the car. He made me get a check back from the dealer before he would close the loan. Worried that his lien wouldn’t attach. What a dumb ass.
-- No piece is cut too short. It was meant for a smaller project.
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380 days ago
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((shaking my head in disbelief)) .. although I believe it—the insurance companies really don’t like parting with our money
-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)
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