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Signs that your an idiot

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Forum topic by Karson posted 06-02-2009 03:05 PM 1482 views 0 times favorited 20 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Karson

35035 posts in 3868 days


06-02-2009 03:05 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.

Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here’s your sign,guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your money in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don’t bother with this guy’s sign.. He probably couldn’t read it anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy….....

But you still get a sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don’t believe you are over 21.” The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn’t even deserve a sign.

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Idiot Number Seven of 2008

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of riot resistant glass.

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here’s your sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight of 2008

We live in a semi-rural area, ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ), and we recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! – I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY ALERT! They walk among us, and they REPRODUCE!

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia karsonwm@gmail.com †


20 replies so far

View SteveKorz's profile

SteveKorz

2134 posts in 3182 days


#1 posted 06-02-2009 03:13 PM

LOL!

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

View DaleM's profile

DaleM

952 posts in 2852 days


#2 posted 06-02-2009 03:24 PM

I think the solution is to have the deer crossing only at certain times of the day, maybe when there is less traffic, not to eliminate it altogether. Where’s my sign?

-- Dale Manning, Carthage, NY

View rtb's profile

rtb

1101 posts in 3181 days


#3 posted 06-02-2009 03:54 PM

The obvious answer is to close the rd.

-- RTB. stray animals are just looking for love

View Splinterman's profile

Splinterman

23066 posts in 2829 days


#4 posted 06-02-2009 04:03 PM

Yes Karson…....unfortunately, some poor mothers do have them.

View Peter Oxley's profile

Peter Oxley

1426 posts in 3342 days


#5 posted 06-02-2009 04:06 PM

Maybe build a skybridge or tunnel for the deer?

-- http://www.peteroxley.com -- http://north40studios.etsy.com --

View ellen35's profile

ellen35

2724 posts in 2900 days


#6 posted 06-02-2009 04:18 PM

I am so glad you have time on your hands…this is hilarious!

-- "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Voltaire

View Joe Weaver's profile

Joe Weaver

509 posts in 3154 days


#7 posted 06-02-2009 06:33 PM

times are tough give someone a job as a crossing guard

-- Joe, Ga

View stefang's profile

stefang

15512 posts in 2802 days


#8 posted 06-02-2009 09:47 PM

Thanks for the laugh Karson!

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Kent Shepherd's profile

Kent Shepherd

2718 posts in 2754 days


#9 posted 06-02-2009 11:34 PM

OK Karson, that’s twice today you have “Made my day”

-- http://shepherdtoolandsupply.com/

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

14167 posts in 3451 days


#10 posted 06-02-2009 11:55 PM

I know someone that should be on this list …

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Karson's profile

Karson

35035 posts in 3868 days


#11 posted 06-03-2009 12:15 AM

Dan: I didn’t insult you did you did I. or was that not me?

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia karsonwm@gmail.com †

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

14167 posts in 3451 days


#12 posted 06-03-2009 12:24 AM

no Karson … you are the best !!!

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Karson's profile

Karson

35035 posts in 3868 days


#13 posted 06-03-2009 01:11 AM

Thanks Dan. You are the 2nd best.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia karsonwm@gmail.com †

View miles125's profile

miles125

2180 posts in 3473 days


#14 posted 06-03-2009 01:24 AM

I seem to recall a story where some thieves broke into a shoe store and made off with a couple thousand LEFT shoes that were on display..Lol

-- "The way to make a small fortune in woodworking- start with a large one"

View cabinetmaster's profile

cabinetmaster

10874 posts in 3026 days


#15 posted 06-03-2009 02:36 AM

Thanks again Karson. You are the best.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

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