Becoming illegal.....thought was funny

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Forum topic by MedicKen posted 05-13-2009 08:35 PM 1231 views 0 times favorited 15 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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1610 posts in 2880 days

05-13-2009 08:35 PM

Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son..

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach ‘illegal alien’ status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

-- My job is to give my kids things to discuss with their

15 replies so far

View LocalMac's profile


281 posts in 2824 days

#1 posted 05-13-2009 08:39 PM

Which country would you choose to state as country of origin? I would say that I’m an illegal alien from Australia. Then I’d hope to get deported. Free trip to Terra Australis Incognito!

-- Don't tell her I'm in the shop!

View abuck's profile


12 posts in 2749 days

#2 posted 05-13-2009 08:58 PM

its good to see someone else gets it. I try and explain to my wife that things like this happen in the world and she acts like I am stupid. Keep up the fight

View CharlieM1958's profile


16229 posts in 3636 days

#3 posted 05-13-2009 09:01 PM

It would be funny if it weren’t so true.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View pommy's profile


1697 posts in 3109 days

#4 posted 05-13-2009 09:12 PM

i would surgest coming from England but we are just up shit creek as you guys with the goverment trying to tell us its ok to own a second home payed by yours truely and that i should stump up the pounds to fill his moat round said property or pay for his porn movie that he rented the night before so Australia sounds good to me too


-- cut it saw it scrap it SKPE: ANDREW.CARTER69

View firecaster's profile


570 posts in 2836 days

#5 posted 05-13-2009 09:45 PM

If this works for you let me know. I’d like to get in on this also.

-- Father of two sons. Both Eagle Scouts.

View kolwdwrkr's profile


2821 posts in 3008 days

#6 posted 05-13-2009 09:50 PM

Count me in. Of course living in SoCal I was pretty sure I was already in Mexico…. I’m just sayin.

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

View a1Jim's profile


115167 posts in 2995 days

#7 posted 05-13-2009 10:49 PM

Life in the USA

-- Custom furniture

View odie's profile


1690 posts in 3258 days

#8 posted 05-14-2009 01:43 AM

Three pictures tell 1000 words

President Bush

President Reagan

Nuff said

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". (my funny blog)

View oldskoolmodder's profile


799 posts in 3098 days

#9 posted 05-14-2009 02:10 AM

And once again, politics rears it’s ugly head here where it’s not suppose dto. Let the democrat bashing begin (again).

-- Respect your shop tools and they will respect you - Ric

View John Ormsby's profile

John Ormsby

1283 posts in 3155 days

#10 posted 05-14-2009 02:22 AM

It is no llonger California. It is Mexifornia. We have well over 4,000,000 ILLEGALS in this state and they have managed to close over 85 emergency rooms so far in this state. I want to be an Illegal also. It would safe us a lot of money and we would also be rated as a Protected Class.P.S. This is not a democrat bashing thing. It is a corruption thing. We want OUR country back!!!

-- Oldworld, Fair Oaks, Ca

View buzsaw's profile


17 posts in 2805 days

#11 posted 05-14-2009 02:31 AM

We will probably have to get it back like we got it pn the first place. Now where did I put my cartridges? Hm.

-- I work to much to turn as much as I would like to.

View cabinetmaster's profile


10874 posts in 2976 days

#12 posted 05-14-2009 02:41 AM

My wife thinks it’s time to move to CANADA….................LOL

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View FlWoodRat's profile


732 posts in 3327 days

#13 posted 05-14-2009 03:12 AM

Odie,, that was tooo funny. Are you trying to say that Bush and Reagan knew how to handle wood and that Mr. Obama is in touch with his more feminine side?

-- I love the smell of sawdust in the morning....

View Don K.'s profile

Don K.

1075 posts in 2744 days

#14 posted 05-14-2009 10:47 PM

Odie…lmao those pics were great !!!

-- Don S.E. OK

View SCOTSMAN's profile


5839 posts in 3003 days

#15 posted 05-14-2009 10:59 PM

I like Obama he’s a great guy you are lucky to have him as president my 99 centsLOLAlistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

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