"Massacre" Through Tenons

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Forum topic by SixPants posted 02-06-2015 02:01 AM 1602 views 0 times favorited 29 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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4 posts in 638 days

02-06-2015 02:01 AM

Topic tags/keywords: though tenon crap newbie awful worst humor

I think we’ve all had enough of perfect joinery. As a newbie, I’ve decided to blaze a new path – “Massacre Joinery.”

See example A: These expertly executed through tenons. Note how the “failure” of pieces to actually join creates zones for airflow. Do you know how hard it is to create those precise gaps? You don’t.

See the massive chip out? Not me. I see strategic flex points. Things that don’t bend break, right?

Note how the pieces join at a 80 degree angle? Strategic again. It would take extensive math to explain it and, frankly, you still wouldn’t understand.

So please, sit back and be awestruck with not only my very first but arguable the most ideal through tenons you’re ever going to witness. Forgive my lack of humility but it’s quite obvious my skills are superior to everyone and anyone who has ever posted on the Internet. Ever.

If you would like a video tutorial on Massacre Joinery, it’s coming. I’m in talks with a producer now.

29 replies so far

View lateralus819's profile


2236 posts in 1309 days

#1 posted 02-06-2015 02:06 AM

Bravo sir. This is hilarious and gave me a good chuckle!

The air flow zones are key! Not enough joinery allows for airflow.

View Kaleb the Swede's profile

Kaleb the Swede

1720 posts in 1389 days

#2 posted 02-06-2015 02:09 AM

That was really funny! Thanks for the laugh

-- Just trying to build something beautiful

View Buckethead's profile


3140 posts in 1289 days

#3 posted 02-06-2015 02:12 AM

That white pine is very difficult to achieve exposed joinery on. It’s amazing how you executed these to your satisfaction.

I did a trial run on my first dovetails in white pine and I was not as pleased as you seem to be. I went to a big box store and bought a single piece of red oak which served my second attempt much better. Simply stated, the corners you create stay more intact when using hardwood.

-- Support woodworking hand models. Buy me a sawstop.

View NoThanks's profile


798 posts in 949 days

#4 posted 02-06-2015 02:17 AM

Dude, this is over the top.
You need to dull your tools a little bit, and get you some cheap plastic layout tools.
You keep posting this type of work and everybody will be too intimidated to post pictures of their projects.
Carry on, it’s all downhill from here.

-- Because I'm gone, that's why!

View Ghidrah's profile


667 posts in 642 days

#5 posted 02-06-2015 02:39 AM

When I grow up I want to do it like that. Will you be giving classes?

-- I meant to do that!

View gcsdad's profile


34 posts in 665 days

#6 posted 02-06-2015 02:42 AM

Nice. That’s awesome. Gotta have a good sense of humor!

View gfadvm's profile


14929 posts in 2110 days

#7 posted 02-06-2015 02:51 AM

Now, the challenge is to make exact duplicates!

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

View ElChe's profile


630 posts in 756 days

#8 posted 02-06-2015 03:42 AM

You done good son. Send it to Fine Woodworking asap.

-- Tom - Measure twice cut once. Then measure again. Curse. Fudge.

View ChuckC's profile


821 posts in 2355 days

#9 posted 02-06-2015 04:17 AM

My only critique to this otherwise pristine specimen would be that the angle should have been 78 degrees, not 80. What a newbie … :-)

View Randy_ATX's profile


834 posts in 1862 days

#10 posted 02-06-2015 04:17 AM

Mind sharing the sketchup on this one?

-- Randy -- Austin, TX by way of Northwest (Woodville), OH

View Jake's profile


850 posts in 1051 days

#11 posted 02-06-2015 07:57 AM

Note how the pieces join at a 80 degree angle? Strategic again. It would take extensive math to explain it and, frankly, you still wouldn t understand.
- SixPants

That was freakin’ hilarious, thanks for the great chuckle! And I agree as previously stated – replictaing the joint is what’s going to be the key difficulty here.

-- Measure twice, cut once, cut again for good measure.

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4 posts in 638 days

#12 posted 02-06-2015 08:33 AM

I’m perplexed how this is perceived as amusing? It renders your thousands of hours of experience and thousands of dollars of tools utterly irrelevant. Seriously. Why do you try?

- – -

In seriousness, I thought I was being smart getting cheap wood to practice on. In my mind it’s a little bench – cherry top and shoe shelf, maple elsewhere. Kinda of expensive stuff to learn on.

I love the pocket hole jig but really want to execute “proper” joiints. Hence this experiment.

I didn’t realize this white pine stuff was very much like an ice cream cone on the inside. No exaggeration – the loose flaky grain makes sounds like i’m eating it.

Say… there’s an idea… gnawed through tenons. I’ll be back.

View Tony_S's profile


597 posts in 2503 days

#13 posted 02-06-2015 10:53 AM

Pine 1×8’s? Russell….is that you?

Meh….throw a coat of paint on it and call it good.

It’s find it’s difficult to capture both texture and angulation in one shot, but you nailed it. There’s always room for improvement though. If you’d thrown in a gap…or two(ventilation) So big you could read a book through it….WIN!!

I can be a real plywood whore though, so take it for what it’s worth.

-- It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle

View HornedWoodwork's profile


222 posts in 634 days

#14 posted 02-06-2015 12:26 PM

Wow I have at least 5 good attempts on display in my shop, the wall of shame I calls it. Nothing comes close to this though. 80 degree angles are my bread and butter though.

-- Talent, brilliance, and humility are my virtues.

View bobro's profile


308 posts in 730 days

#15 posted 02-06-2015 12:45 PM

Fast-growing “super-tree” pine (spruce, hemlock, what have you) “big box” lumber is a nightmare to do joinery in, give me a rock-hard tropical hardwood any day.

That being said, you can get some pretty darn clean joints even out of that stuff. Sharpness of the tools is obvious, but it’s more than that: you have to delineate everything both sides with clean stop cuts. For example, if you’re chopping out a mortise, it will blow out unless you have the backside already cleanly chiseled around, and backed with sacrifical stock. Also, you can’t “crowbar” stuff out like you can with cherry or walnut: just like with the hardest woods, you have to continually chop into a distinct stop.

-- Lao Ma: You are so full of anger and hatred. Xena: Everybody's gotta be full of something.

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