LumberJocks is Going to the Dogs (revisited)

What an honor, I get to be the first.

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

2nd place once again

-- If at first you don't succeed...Don't try skydiving

-- Got Wood?

ODIE, HOW SWEET IT IS. NO MORE TWIDDLING THUMBS WAITING FOR THIS TO LOAD. WELL DONE

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

”And you just roll it around like this to make the first part of your snowman.”

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

That was a tough day !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

COOL MAN, COOL!

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

This will give him some place to keep his nuts.

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.” The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog “the sign says you have to be good with a computer.” The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said “I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job.”

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said “yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.”

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, “Meow!”

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Dog-on Dan. That’s one clever dog.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Don't tell her I'm in the shop!

As you can see, my dog hates mornings. No, Odie, she can’t type, ask for advice, or give advice, however, I disagree with your “1/10 the brain of humans”. I’d take her smarts before a lot of people I’ve met. : ) She’s funny, loyal, smart, athletic, and kid-friendly. I’d also take those traits over most people I’ve met. And yes, she is much cuter than me. I’m glad you started this thread over. I love it. Keep ‘em coming, Odie!

-- Don't tell her I'm in the shop!

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

RAH

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Aahh, all this talk about dogs is hurting my ears.

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

YYYAAAWWWNNN, I’m dog tired

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

Happy Easter !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

The only thing good about Easter is the candy. Wake me up when my basket is here.

Candy! Did you say Candy?

Happy Easter!

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Dan, I’ve been saving some of these for you.

My Dog

My Cat

My Family

and My Friends

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

She knows me too !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Also don’t forget this dog … http://www.dogwork.com/dogsnow/

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Gene

as doggy as some of the lumberjocks are around I figured this one would be a popular one … guess we will wait and see

http://thinktankbob.deviantart.com/art/Dogs-and-my-dad-119872307

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

Now, thats a retriever!

-- Gene

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

!

-- If you always do what you always did, then you will always get what you always got!

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

LIGHT EMITTING DOG

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Ok Odie – go see http://lumberjocks.com/topics/7972

-- I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

PG_Zac = silly man. He wants help picking an avatar. Your post above is going to be very busy I’m afraid.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

CAN YOU PICK THE SEX OF THIS DOG?. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Dog One-Liners

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. —Anonymous

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. —Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. —Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. —Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. —Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. —Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made. —M. Facklam

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go
to heaven, and very, very few persons. —James Thurber

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. —Robert Benchley

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. —Rita Rudner

And nobody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. —Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. —Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money. —Joe Weinstein

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend; inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. —Groucho Marx

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery
store with the most amazing haul—chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!—Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. – Anon.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Hercules: The World’s Biggest Dog Ever According to Guinness World Records

Hercules was recently awarded the honorable distinction of Worlds Biggest Dog by Guinness World Records. Hercules is an English Mastiff and who has a 38 inch neck and weighs 282 pounds.

With “paws the size of softballs” (reports the Boston Herald), the three-year-old monster is far larger and heavier than his breed’s standard 200lb. limit. Hercules owner Mr. Flynn says that Hercules weight is natural and not induced by a bizarre diet: “I fed him normal food and he just
“grew”... and grew. and grew. and grew.

Kell: Slightly Smaller, But the World’s Heaviest Dog Hercules’ sheer volume may have won him the Largest Dog world record, but the Heaviest Dog title still rests with Kell who weighed in at 286 pounds in August of 1999.
This English Mastiff, however, only has a 32-inch neck – far less than Hercules’ 38-incher. Think about that for a second though – 32 inches is a standard waist size for a man!

Proud owner Tom Scott said Kell is two years old and is expected to continue to grow for the next two years. Kell needs to be fed 100lb of beef every week, and drinks gallons of goats’ milk to stay healthy…

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

So, on the inside of a fire hydrant it’ H-2-0
On the outside it’s….....K-9-P

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. Dogs don’t cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

17. Dogs don’t shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog’s parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don’t hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It’s legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don’t worry about germs.

35. Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

46. Dogs can’t talk.

47. Dogs aren’t catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Why Men Have Dogs

This may be why lots of men have dogs and not wives.

1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

4. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

5. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.

6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

7. A dog’s parents never visit.

8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

11. Dogs seldom outlive you.

12. Dogs can’t talk.

13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.

14. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24-hours a day.

15. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

16. Dogs like to go hunting.

17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died would you get another dog?”

20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.

21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

23. A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.

24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad, they just think it’s interesting.

25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

26. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.

27. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

28. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.

29. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half your stuff.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

Dan, you forgot one.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

“If you want proof your dog loves you more than your wife, perform this simple experiment. Lock them both in the trunk overnight. In the morning when you let them out, which one will be happy to see you?”

-- "Democracy is by far the worst system of government. Except all the others that have been tried." ~ Winston Churchill

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog. On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog. On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it. On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke. On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

IS THIS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?, GUARDING THE GAS STATION?.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

WHEW, NICE DOGGY.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

BEWARE OF IDENTITY THEFT #1

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

But the California Court decided against that …

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

This cartoonish muscle-dog is Wendy, a whippet with a genetic disorder causing ridiculous muscular growth.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

THE BOSS IS WORKING ME TOO HARD.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

,,
A Rasta-style Hungarian Puli takes a turn outside the Chelsea and Westminster hospital in London on Monday. These pooches are known for their long corded coats, that bear an uncanny resemblance to dreadlocks. Some owners opt to clip all that shaggy hair off their Puli pets, which were originally ancient sheepdogs from Hungary.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=5722676&l=3774740

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

You want me to do What??.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

grumpy dog

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

DAN DOG

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbour’s
dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says ‘To hell with this!’
& storms off..
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife
asks ‘What did you do?’
Paddy replies ‘Ive put the dog in our garden,
lets see how they like it!’

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

I trained my dog too well, now she hustles me at pool.

-- You know.... I think that old wood needs to be furniture.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

YEAH BIG BOY. YOU DON’T SCARE ME.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

OOH SEXY !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python