Rats as Big as Racoons

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Forum topic by robbi posted 03-09-2009 04:04 AM 2857 views 0 times favorited 16 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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176 posts in 3379 days

03-09-2009 04:04 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

I was blissfully dreaming last night at about 3:00 am when all of a sudden I hear an animal fight of some kind in my hallway. This surprised me and scared me just slightly since I DON’T HAVE ANY ANIMALS!!! By the time I came to my senses I started wondering what sort of animal that sounded quite large could have gotten in my house. As I sat in bed wondering what I should do…is there such a thing as animal police? Call 911, and say…”uh yes, I have an intruder, unfortunately I’m not sure what it is because I am too damn afraid to go look.” No, not me, no 911 calls, I’m brave, I can deal with this. As I sat there wondering how I would get whatever this was out of my house I suddenly realized this squeeling and fighting was coming from my spare bathroom, WHICH IS RIGHT NEXT TO MY BEDROOM….holy shit, not so brave all of a sudden. And then the fighting starts coming from my closet….wait a minute…whatever this is, is UNDER my house, not IN my house. So, I sat there, praying the screaming would stop (theirs, not mine) and it went back and forth from one side of my room to the other, thumping under the floor, vibrating my bed and then I realized one of these creatures was dying. This was not going to end well for someone. The battle lasted at least 15 minutes, I felt like I was in some sort of horror movie, I felt awful that something was dying but then I thought…too bad they can’t both die so this can be over. I could tell when one was kapoot because I could hear the other one drag it over to an area under my spare bathroom, then I swear, I thought I heard it come into the bathroom, it just sounded so close. By this time my adreneline is so high there is no way I am sleeping anymore. I am hyper sensitive to every noise and I am thinking it’s a rat. And then I hear the unmistakable pulling and chomping of this “rat” eating his kill. I can’t take anymore of this…I get up and go into my kitchen so I can’t hear it anymore and start looking up “rats” on the internet, trying to see if they are carnivores…because I just don’t know. After about an hour of searching on line and frightening myself even more, I have convinced myself that I have a rat infestation and I will have to call someone to take care of this for me. I then suddenly am very exhausted so I go back to bed for an hour or so. At the light of day I walk outside and try to find where the intruder got in…I am shocked to see one of my screens at the bottom of my house is ripped open in a “v” shape and curled back to an opening of about 6” x 4” and there is “fur” on the wire. Now I’m completely freaked out because this rat is HUGH!!! I walked over to my neighbors house who happens to work for Terminex and tell him my story, he is kind of laughing because I think he thinks I am exagerating…then he sees the hole and he says you either have a racoon or a possom living under your house. I said, WHAT?...really?? He tells me it is mating season and they have probably made a nest under my bathtub to have their babies. AND I can’t kill it because there are laws against it. So he tells me to get a live trap and then call wildlife rescue when I catch it…in the mean time, he tells me to spray amonia in the vents under the bathrooms because they don’t like that smell and they might leave. So, all day today I have been spraying bleach under there…I hear them moving but they won’t come out. I can hear the babies under there….crap…how many do they have??? So, I have guests under my house, possibly until the young ones get big enough to leave…isn’t that special. All I can hope for now is that no other animals go under there an bother them so I don’t have to listen to another massacre. YUCK!!

-- robbi-Yadahooty!

16 replies so far

View lew's profile


11266 posts in 3179 days

#1 posted 03-09-2009 04:15 AM

Oh Lord just hope the little bastards don’t die under there!! You’ll never get the smell out!

We had the same problem except they were groundhogs (some people call them wood chucks). Our problem was we had a blind Basset hound that sniffed out everything. Could just see him coming into the house with one of these critters latched onto his nose. We live within the city limits. Called the police and asked what we should do- same response- get a live trap. Well these ugly devils have been known to have rabies and with kids and dogs around I wasn’t going to wait out a live trap. Although I hate to kill anything, I did. Still feel bad about it but the safety of the neighbor kids was more important.

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View CharlieM1958's profile


16229 posts in 3642 days

#2 posted 03-09-2009 04:45 AM

I’ve had rats in my walls and attic, scratching around all night every night, so I can sympathize. Still, your story was hilarious. :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


17577 posts in 3099 days

#3 posted 03-09-2009 10:00 AM

You tell a good story :-) Be thankful they aren’t skunks taking up residency! WE had rats invade our 5th wheel. We didn’t use it for a couple of years when I was suffering malpractice. When yoiu walked in, it still looked new, except for the smell. They totally destroyed everything inside the walls and ceiling. Even ate the hydraulic hoses that pushed the slides in and out.

On the line of home invasion; one of my aunts was staying with another aunt. The one who owned the house told the visitor to get up so she could make the beds. When she threw back the covers, there was a 6 foot rattle snake in the bed! This happend in southern Idaho in the 40’s. They don’t know how the snake got in, but it gets up to over 100 in the day time and drops into the 50’s at night in July and Aug. Everyone used to leave the house wide open at night to cool it down and close up to hold the coolness during the day.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View Moron's profile


5032 posts in 3317 days

#4 posted 03-09-2009 02:24 PM

An “X” called me one time and told me we had a squirrell or rat that stood two feet tall, in the garage and I wondered if she OD’d on meds.

Much later sitting carving by the woodstove in the garage my “sixth sense” perked up and beside me stood a 2’ tall, really pissed off mammel with big snarling mouth and big teeth. I’m not a bad back stroker in the pool but it was the first time I did the “back stroke” across a concrete floor and had I been in the pool in the olympics I know I would have won.

Turned out to be Fisher…..............

-- "Good artists borrow, great artists steal”…..Picasso

View woodworm's profile


14164 posts in 3014 days

#5 posted 03-09-2009 03:38 PM

I also have ”palm civet” staying in the ceiling. I’ve seen once. While I was up there working, I sensed something watching me from behind. I know it was civet because I could smell the nice fragrance of Pandanus Leaf. Last night, while I was watching TV, I heard something dropped onto the ceiling then I smell the same fragrance the first time I encountered this civet. Civet sleeps in daytime, actives and works (finding food – usually fruits) at night…just like me and some LJs…LOL.

-- masrol, kuala lumpur, MY.

View dennis mitchell's profile

dennis mitchell

3994 posts in 3738 days

#6 posted 03-09-2009 03:48 PM

I can still hear my exwifes scream when she opened a kitchen drawer to find a baby opossum. She thought it was a giant rat. That memory still brings a smile to my face!

View dalec's profile


613 posts in 3312 days

#7 posted 03-09-2009 04:20 PM

Nicely written with a lot of suspense.

I have run across some dead rats in my time, and have handled them ok. But finding a live rodent in some dark corner or restricted space would creep me out.

Looks like those screens need to be replaced with stronger ones, once your guests leave.


View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 3189 days

#8 posted 03-09-2009 04:35 PM

To answer your question…. yes, rats are carnivores (as far as I know). We had some giant rats at a printing shop I used to work at. We put out everything to try to get rid of them. We set out some rat traps (I’m talking about the big ones) and it didn’t take long to notice that we were going to have to tie the traps down because they would suddenly become missing. We tied a thin metal wire to the traps and to a pipe. We caught rats, but most of the time there would only be half of a rat in the trap (the others must have had a warm meal at his expense). lew is right about the smell. We had a couple die in the wall and it seemed like it took forever to get rid of the smell.

View Moron's profile


5032 posts in 3317 days

#9 posted 03-09-2009 04:50 PM

rats are omnivores, eating just about anything including each other.

Disgusting little creature and with good nesting, a good supply of food, two of the little rodents can produce tens of thousands of offspring in a very short amount of time.

-- "Good artists borrow, great artists steal”…..Picasso

View Dadoo's profile


1789 posts in 3414 days

#10 posted 03-09-2009 05:25 PM

I’d first dust the entrance hole with powered dirt and try to ID the tracks, and critter, that has resided under your house. Possum and coons are the best possibility. Coons are very resourceful in nesting, and I’ve heard the ruckus and screams they can produce as well! Once you ID the tracks, then you’ll know how to rid it from your house.

My advice…check under the cabinets and anywhere else the critters might have used for access, then seal up the holes with chicken wire or metal fencing to disallow further access. Don’t waste your chlorine or ammonia though and especially don’t mix the two! It creates a toxic chlorine cloud that can harm you as well!

A live trap is a good “humane” idea. Just remember, you also have to “humanely” let ‘em go after they’re trapped.

-- Bob Vila would be so proud of you!

View Steelmum's profile


355 posts in 3386 days

#11 posted 03-09-2009 05:39 PM

Just a few thoughts, I can’t stop laughing long enough to make them very coherent.
I would not want to catch and release these things.
Bleach and ammonia are two different smells.
No one is going to call the ‘critter police’ if you kill them.
There are exterminators and trappers that will solve your problem.

-- Berta in NC

View Will Mego's profile

Will Mego

307 posts in 3136 days

#12 posted 03-09-2009 08:08 PM

fighting makes me think of racoons, which I’ve had in roofs 4 times, chimney 3, and generally all around my entire life. Bleach won’t be as good as straight ammonia, they really do hate that stuff. They also hate loud music, I’ve put radios near their sleeping arrangements several times, worked every time save one. One time a mother went up and down a chimney all night picking up each baby in her mouth and moving them to another location to escape the radio (tuned to the most aggressive annoying music you can find, of course). Some springs I’ve heard loud fighting almost every night down by the local river. I sympathize, man, I really do. I’ve been there, and considering the roof issue I’ve got right now THIS spring, I expect to be dealing with the exact same thing soon :(

-- "That which has in itself the greatest use, possesses the greatest beauty." -

View toothpick's profile


1 post in 2900 days

#13 posted 03-09-2009 09:05 PM

I live in the country and have been in your shoes. There is good news and bad news. The bad. These little critters, regardless of the type of animal, will destroy your home where they are living. The good news is they are fairly easy to remove. There are two products that work quite well. One is called Snake Away, and the other is common mothballs. Both are crystallized amonnia and willl permiate the area under your home with the smell. None of the animals can stay with it over a few hours. After you are sure the animals have left, just saturate the ground under your house and it will dissolve the granules. I will be honest with you, it will also smell quite strong in your house. You might want to take a couple of days off and go camping, or something.

View littlecope's profile


3052 posts in 2925 days

#14 posted 03-09-2009 11:15 PM

I feel for you, but had to laugh when I read this this morning. It reminded me of years ago, and of my best friend in high school. His mother took him to see the Exorcist when it was in the theaters. If you remember, the first sign of their “infestation” was noises in the attic. When they got home, sure enough, there were thuds and scrapings sounds from overhead! His poor mom, who was demonstrable in the best of times, was beside herself screaming and hunting for her husband’s pistol, though what she planned to do with that is still unclear. It turned out that a raccoon had picked THAT night to move in, pushing through the louvers of their roof vent. Their son in law went up the next day, cornered ‘em, and threw a blanket over the varmint, then wrestled him outside and let him loose. Then made the vent varmint proof. I’ll bet they still tell that story when they gather and probably laugh, but it wasn’t very funny that night…
By the way, whoever came up with “Quiet as a Mouse” was a liar! My folks had them in one of their walls one year and you could hear everything they were up to! A couple times it sounded like they were having a regular party! They also had squirrels who are very bad acters indoors and the infrequent bat, but no larger creatures. We had too many cats and dogs for other animals to feel welcome…
The animal control officer in our area told my parents the same things that are outlined by others here already, live traps baited with peanut butter, and ammonia applications. I hope your new house guests’ stay is a short one! Michael C.

-- Mike in Concord, NH---Unpleasant tasks are simply worthy challenges to improve skills.

View Padre's profile


930 posts in 2912 days

#15 posted 03-10-2009 02:53 AM

Robbi, you made me laugh so hard I almost fell out of my chair!!

Moth balls or moth crystals work too. Spread them around the base of your house, a LOT of them, and viola, problem solved.

-- Chip ----------- 6:8

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