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Great Indian joke

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Forum topic by Dan'um Style posted 02-24-2009 02:51 AM 9154 views 3 times favorited 17 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Dan'um Style

14167 posts in 3443 days


02-24-2009 02:51 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor



Great Indian joke

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: ‘Want coffee.’

The waiter says, ‘Sure thing. Coming right up.’ He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter every where and then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: ‘Want coffee.’

The waiter says, ‘Whoa! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?’

The Indian smiles and proudly says:

‘Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain


17 replies so far

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tenontim

2131 posts in 3205 days


#1 posted 02-24-2009 02:55 AM

That’s good, Dan. Where there are Indians, there’s bound to be Cowboys, so:

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’

He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.’

She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.’

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’

He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.’

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Mike

391 posts in 3077 days


#2 posted 02-24-2009 02:56 AM

hehehehe…. Ain’t that the truth. What we need is a party and clean up the politicians who made the mess in the first place.

Oh wait we did that once…..

Anyone for TEA?????

-- Measure once cut twice....oh wait....ooops.

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pitchnsplinters

262 posts in 2898 days


#3 posted 02-24-2009 03:25 AM

Did you hear the one about the Priest, the Pollock, and the Redneck who makes Indian jokes?

-- Just 'cause a cat has kittens in the oven, it don't make 'em biscuits.

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modestmouser

42 posts in 3007 days


#4 posted 02-24-2009 03:44 AM

”Did you hear the one about the Priest, the Pollock, and the Redneck who makes Indian jokes?”

- hey…. if you’re going to use them, spell your racial slurs correctly.


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Craftsman on the lake

2521 posts in 2898 days


#5 posted 02-24-2009 04:12 AM

well the cowboy joke was just too funny!

-- The smell of wood, coffee in the cup, the wife let's me do my thing, the lake is peaceful.

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Shopsmithtom

787 posts in 3655 days


#6 posted 02-24-2009 04:56 AM

If it weren’t for political incorrectness, there’d be no political correctness… yin & yang.
If political incorrectness disappeared,
Life would be boring. no one would get upset over the little things…
the sale of antacids, and anti depressants would fall through the basement,
the pharmaceutical companies would go broke, all their lawyers who write those disclaimers at the end of the commercials would be out of work and have to run more ads telling you they can get you money if you sue someone,
people would begin trying to figure out what to sue other people for & they’d decide that some things people say are not politically correct,
they’d start suing others for saying politically incorrect stuff,
And everything would be back in balance…
-SST

-- Accuracy is not in your power tool, it's in you

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pitchnsplinters

262 posts in 2898 days


#7 posted 02-24-2009 05:19 AM

It’s funny that someone actually knows the correct spelling of ethnic slurs. I am quite pleased I do not.

-- Just 'cause a cat has kittens in the oven, it don't make 'em biscuits.

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modestmouser

42 posts in 3007 days


#8 posted 02-24-2009 06:44 AM

...at your service…

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jockmike2

10635 posts in 3707 days


#9 posted 02-24-2009 05:51 PM

I thought Pollock was a fish.

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

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Grumpy

21556 posts in 3311 days


#10 posted 02-25-2009 12:10 AM

An Aussie cowboy joke;
A Queensland jackaroo (cowboy) is overseeing his herd in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, ‘If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?’

The jackaroo looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, ‘Sure, why not?’

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, ‘You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.’

‘That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,’ says the Jackaroo.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Jackaroo says to the young man, ‘Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?’

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, ‘Okay, why not?’

‘You work for the Australian Government’, says the Jackaroo.

‘Wow! That’s correct,’ says the yuppie, ‘but how did you guess that?’

‘No guessing required.’ answered the jackaroo. ‘You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows .. this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.’

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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EEngineer

1059 posts in 3074 days


#11 posted 02-25-2009 07:10 AM

pitchnsplinters – proving the old adage: ignorance is bliss.

political correctness is for conformists… never had much use for it.

-- "Find out what you cannot do and then go do it!"

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Dan'um Style

14167 posts in 3443 days


#12 posted 02-27-2009 05:26 AM



















-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Sawdust2

1467 posts in 3548 days


#13 posted 03-01-2009 03:42 PM

Grumpy
Politics is a worldwide disease.
We have the same true story here in the US of A.

And from the tenor of Dan’s cartoons he treats all politics (and politicians) with the same disdain. Cool!

Lee

-- No piece is cut too short. It was meant for a smaller project.

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Dan'um Style

14167 posts in 3443 days


#14 posted 03-13-2009 11:38 PM



-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Dan'um Style

14167 posts in 3443 days


#15 posted 04-11-2009 03:16 AM



-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

showing 1 through 15 of 17 replies

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