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Obfuscatory Sesquepedalianisms

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Forum topic by Gene Howe posted 02-19-2009 01:44 AM 2111 views 0 times favorited 32 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Gene Howe

8247 posts in 2891 days


02-19-2009 01:44 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

I ripped this off another forum. Thought you all might enjoy and participate with your own.

Obfuscatory Sesquepedalianism #1 “There are a multitude of methodologies by which to divest the feline of its epidural enclosure”. In other words, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton


32 replies so far

View Shopsmithtom's profile

Shopsmithtom

788 posts in 3658 days


#1 posted 02-19-2009 02:49 AM

Just reading those words gives a simple guy like me a cephalalgia. -SST

-- Accuracy is not in your power tool, it's in you

View sry's profile

sry

147 posts in 3071 days


#2 posted 02-19-2009 02:49 AM

I can’t resist the classic:
One should multiply ascertain the dimension in question prior to engaging in any wood fiber severing activity
Measure twice, cut once

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lew

11339 posts in 3218 days


#3 posted 02-19-2009 03:04 AM

You guys are up the proverbial estuary with no visible means of motivation- Up S**T creek without a paddle

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View Dan Lyke's profile

Dan Lyke

1510 posts in 3588 days


#4 posted 02-19-2009 07:31 PM

I think I’m gonna say my bit before the feces impacts the rotary impeller.

-- Dan Lyke, Petaluma California, http://www.flutterby.net/User:DanLyke

View Peter Oxley's profile

Peter Oxley

1426 posts in 3337 days


#5 posted 02-19-2009 07:47 PM

A mass of consolidated mineral matter tumbling end-over-end is unlikely to collect lower-order plant material (A rolling stone gathers no moss).

-- http://www.peteroxley.com -- http://north40studios.etsy.com --

View fredf's profile

fredf

495 posts in 3173 days


#6 posted 02-19-2009 08:40 PM

If you guys don’t watch it you may find your self at the headwaters of the legendary tributary without the proverbial means of locomotion! (up a creek without a paddle)

fred

-- Fred, Springfield, Ma

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

16242 posts in 3681 days


#7 posted 02-19-2009 09:35 PM

Should you find it impossible to gain an advantage over your adversaries sheerly by virtue of your superior reasoning abilities, perhaps your cause would be better served by attempting to create confusion through the introduction of irrelevant factoids reminiscent of bovine fecal matter.

(If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bs.)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Shopsmithtom's profile

Shopsmithtom

788 posts in 3658 days


#8 posted 02-19-2009 10:09 PM

Oy!

-- Accuracy is not in your power tool, it's in you

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

8247 posts in 2891 days


#9 posted 02-20-2009 08:23 PM

You guys are super word smiths.
Your posts have served to edify me greatly.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

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CharlieM1958

16242 posts in 3681 days


#10 posted 02-20-2009 08:32 PM

Heck, this is easy for me. Being on staff at a university, this is what every meeting sounds like when faculty are involved.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

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Peter Oxley

1426 posts in 3337 days


#11 posted 02-20-2009 10:20 PM

Commercial construction specification sounds like this too …

A device suitable for outdoor seating, the overall dimensions of which shall be 72” wide, 36” high, 20” deep. The seating section of the device shall consist of two main parts: the “seat” and the “back”, and shall be of wood segments which are each 5.25” x 1.75” x 72”. The seat shall be 18” deep, 1.75” high, 72” wide, and fixed five (5) degrees from horizontal with the lowest edge 16” above grade. The back shall be 20” high, 1.75” deep, 72” wide, and fixed five (5) degrees from vertical, perpendicular to the seat, and aligning with the lowest edge of the seat. The base and framework of the device shall be of wrought metal, and shall be affixed at grade level with not less than four (4) tamper-resistant bolts with a shear strength of not less than 1000 lbs each. The entire device shall be coated with an outdoor grade weather resistant paint, the seat and back shall match color chip #3300313, the base and framework shall match color chip #0017510.

... yeah, a park bench.

-- http://www.peteroxley.com -- http://north40studios.etsy.com --

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Peter Oxley

1426 posts in 3337 days


#12 posted 02-20-2009 10:40 PM

How about …
Refrain from discarding the human infant along with the soap and water mixture which was used to cleanse said infant.

Do not sequentially calculate quantities of domestic poultry prior to their emergence from their protective oval shells.

To each domestic canine belongs a single 24-hour period.

-- http://www.peteroxley.com -- http://north40studios.etsy.com --

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

16242 posts in 3681 days


#13 posted 02-20-2009 11:43 PM

LOL! Good ones, Peter.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

8247 posts in 2891 days


#14 posted 02-20-2009 11:52 PM

CharlieM1958,
Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt and the snow globe. Eastern IL U, U of AZ.

Peter O,
Maybe this below should be stapled to those construction specs. and sent back to the ninny that wrote it.

Eschew obfuscation and do not engage in arrant pedantry of egregious sesquipedalianism.
Literal: Cut the B.S.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Dan Lyke's profile

Dan Lyke

1510 posts in 3588 days


#15 posted 02-21-2009 12:04 AM

“Been there. Done that.” Wouldn’t that be something more like: Perambulated to that location. Participated in the specified activity. Obtained the appropriately branded textile.

-- Dan Lyke, Petaluma California, http://www.flutterby.net/User:DanLyke

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