Church Dinner (joke)

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by Joe Lyddon posted 12-14-2014 10:49 PM 1055 views 0 times favorited 6 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

9325 posts in 3471 days

12-14-2014 10:49 PM

Topic tags/keywords: church dinner wild mushrooms poison stomach pumps ambulance joke

Church Dinner

A group of friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband,
No mushrooms. They are too high.

He said, ”Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.

She said, ”No, some wild mushrooms are poison.

He said, ”Well, I see varmints eating them and they’re OK.” So Jean decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her mothered steak.

Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol’ Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol’ Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Jean watched Ol’ Spot and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Jean even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played ‘42’ and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Jean’s ear.
She said, ”Mrs. Williams, Ol’ Spot is dead.

Jean went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, ”That’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We’ll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone’s stomach.
Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.
The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said,
I think everything will be fine now,” and he left.

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Jean,
You know, that fellow that run over Ol’ Spot never even stopped.

:) :D

Poor Ol Spot… :)

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: ... My Small Gallery:"

6 replies so far

View JoeinGa's profile


7361 posts in 1426 days

#1 posted 12-14-2014 11:02 PM

-- Perform A Random Act Of Kindness Today ... Pay It Forward

View wseand's profile


2754 posts in 2461 days

#2 posted 12-14-2014 11:13 PM

Too funny, I could have used one after Thankgiving dinner.

-- Bill - "Freedom flies in your heart like an Eagle" Audie Murphy

View Bob817's profile


667 posts in 1801 days

#3 posted 12-14-2014 11:26 PM

Very Good Joe thanks for the chuckle it hit the old funny bone pretty good. Hope all is well my friend, HAPPY HOLIDAYS !! ;)

-- ~ Bob ~ Newton, N.H.

View patron's profile


13524 posts in 2760 days

#4 posted 12-14-2014 11:36 PM

thats a tough act to follow joe

what you got planned for when
it is your turn to cook

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View doubleDD's profile


5055 posts in 1462 days

#5 posted 12-14-2014 11:48 PM

Good laugh here.

-- Dave, Downers Grove, Il. -------- When you run out of ideas, start building your dreams.

View Roger's profile


19709 posts in 2223 days

#6 posted 12-17-2014 01:55 PM

Good one Joe.

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics