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Forum topic by a1Jim posted 12-13-2014 04:29 PM 2002 views 1 time favorited 33 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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117115 posts in 3602 days

12-13-2014 04:29 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

My wife found this on Facebook,I thought some of you might enjoy it, especially those in law enforcement.


Recently, the Chula Vista, California Police Department ran an e-mail forum with the local community (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being, “Community Policing.” One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question:

“I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?”

From the “other side” (the law enforcement side) Sgt. Bennett, obviously a cop with a sense of humor replied:

“First of all, let me tell you this…it’s not easy. In Chula Vista, we average one cop for every 600 people.

Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as “patrol”) where we do most of our harassing. The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents.

At any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% patrollers are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty.

So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.

When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.

Now, your average ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass.

This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring.

What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.

The tools available to us are as follow:

PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment.

“My neighbor is beating his wife” is a code phrase used often. This means we’ll come out and give somebody some special harassment.

Another popular one: “There’s a guy breaking into a house.” The harassment team is then put into action.

CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver’s licenses and the like.

It’s lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light.

Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding warrant on file.

RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours to determine why they didn’t want to talk to us.

STATUTES: When we don’t have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called “Statutes”; Criminal Codes, Motor Vehicle Codes, etc…They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people.

After you read the statute, you can just drive around for awhile until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them.

Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there’s this book we have that says that’s not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It’s a really cool system that we’ve set up, and it works pretty well.

We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they
pay us to “harass” some people.

Next time you are in my town, give me the old “single finger wave.” That’s another one of those codes. It means, “You can’t harass me.” It’s one of our favorites.

Hopefully sir, this has clarified to you a little bit better how we harass the good citizens of Chula Vista.

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

33 replies so far

View stefang's profile


15881 posts in 3359 days

#1 posted 12-13-2014 05:20 PM

I’m still waiting my turn Jim.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View TheFridge's profile


9608 posts in 1511 days

#2 posted 12-13-2014 05:39 PM

That’s pretty good

-- Shooting down the walls of heartache. Bang bang. I am. The warrior.

View Gerald Thompson's profile

Gerald Thompson

972 posts in 2259 days

#3 posted 12-13-2014 05:42 PM

I copied and sent one to my Communist SIL. She has stopped rising to the bait. I wonder if she will read it all the way though?

-- Jerry

View woodbutcher11's profile


20 posts in 1504 days

#4 posted 12-13-2014 05:44 PM

Thanks for the chuckle, and “Right On”

View Andre's profile


1886 posts in 1831 days

#5 posted 12-13-2014 05:49 PM

I think they should add anyone wearing a mask to a protest! I got harassed last year for going too fast on a back road, I asked the officer” are you kidding me”? He laughed and told me to have a safe trip home and drive carefully!

-- Lifting one end of the plank.

View Jim Jakosh's profile

Jim Jakosh

20594 posts in 3130 days

#6 posted 12-13-2014 06:49 PM

I think if we were to educate people on the Ten Commandments and they took them to heart and wised up, there would be no need for harassment. A lot of people say they are religious but the last 7 have to do with humans treat humans correctly!

Respect for the law need to be instill in youngsters too.


-- Jim Jakosh.....Practical Wood Products...........Learn something new every day!! Variety is the Spice of Life!!

View Bogeyguy's profile


548 posts in 2093 days

#7 posted 12-13-2014 07:09 PM

Respect works both ways!!!

-- Art, Pittsburgh.

View Chad256's profile


131 posts in 1911 days

#8 posted 12-13-2014 07:12 PM

I love it and after being a police officer for 10 years it couldn’t be more accurate!! Thanks…..I really needed that today…I had a chance that read this in between harassing wonderful citizens :)

-- -- Chad -- T&C Woodworks

View JoeinGa's profile


7736 posts in 2032 days

#9 posted 12-14-2014 12:20 AM

I also saw this on FB and really had a good laugh!

-- Perform A Random Act Of Kindness Today ... Pay It Forward

View distrbd's profile


2252 posts in 2471 days

#10 posted 12-14-2014 12:35 AM

I always believe that police,doctors,teachers should be held to higher standard than average citizens,all it takes is a few bad apples to tarnish the image of the whole profession.
Anyhow,I had good laugh,thanks for that Jim.

-- Ken from Ontario, Canada

View JollyGreen67's profile


1676 posts in 2788 days

#11 posted 12-14-2014 01:30 AM

Shucks. Next time I think about harassing a police officer, I will think twice – or more.

-- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . . . . this CRAP is not what I expected !

View Rob Drown's profile

Rob Drown

789 posts in 3858 days

#12 posted 12-14-2014 03:03 AM

Awesome!! He said it so well!! Jim thanks for passing this along!!!

-- The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. Confucius, 经过艰苦的努力的梦想可以成真

View oldnovice's profile


6898 posts in 3393 days

#13 posted 12-14-2014 04:08 AM

I like the way that is written, a sense of humor and to the point.

A police officer takes their life in their hands every minute on duty when a simple traffic stop can result in a hail of bullets injuring or killing the police officer.

The current “stampede” that is marching against police brutality is ridiculous and comes down to one simple issue, lack of respect for our police!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18288 posts in 3701 days

#14 posted 12-14-2014 05:59 AM

Thanks for positing Jim. Had a good laugh.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View TheWoodenOyster's profile


1317 posts in 1960 days

#15 posted 12-14-2014 04:07 PM

Ha! I love a good sarcastic mail response…

Thanks to all the policemen out there who continue “harassing” all of those “innocent” “good” “citizens”!

-- The Wood Is Your Oyster

showing 1 through 15 of 33 replies

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