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Hey, bad stuff happens, and sure, it’s gonna get you down, and angry, and all of that. It’s understandable you’ll lash out.

But yeah, despite what you said, hang in there. The IRS isn’t a robot, they will negotiate with you. You’ll be able in time to settle for probably 5-10% of your total, and do it on an installment plan.

I don’t know your state, but in Illinois all allimony and child support and such is based upon the education and job of the people involved, so in your case, it would of been different. I’m guessing it’s very different where you live.

But yeah, I went though some tough times (no IRS in my case) a couple years back, and there’s no question, it’s tough right now, and I can tell you I didn’t get anyplace until I STOPPED being so angry, upset, pessimistic, and generally an ass….I’m not saying you’re doing any of these things (don’t even recall reading a single comment from you) but base it on your own self-description above. So give yourself enough time to get your bearings, then go follow your wildest idea. I mean, wtf do you have to lose, right? Just go do whatever crazy dream you want.

-- "That which has in itself the greatest use, possesses the greatest beauty." - Unknown Shaker

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Mathew 11:28-30

I just want to say, no matter how stormy is your situation now (like hundreds of folks here, including me), you are alive!!!!!! that’s a HUGE blessing!!!!
Fortunes disapear and appear in one day….....but life is a precious thing!

With all my heart,I’ll be praying for you and for all the rest of us who are in tight situations right now.

-- Francisco Luna, San Francisco Bay Area.

I too do not recall reading any negative comments from you…. and as Will said – now is the perfect time for you to stop for a minute, think what it is that you want to do, and pursue that dream – at this point ,there IS nothing to lose – and everything to gain.

Hang in there, just like good times – bad times come to an end as well. make the most you can with it.

-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

I do not know if this too long or too un related, but it might help the imagination of those who are down to think of a new idea of what to do in the future,

I do not know if I can help, and it sounds like you are having a bad time, but I have read a few books lately, I do not know if they will help, but I was thinking about my future the other day, business crisis is here too, and I need a new job as well and they are not find. I think this might help koldwdwrkr (and anyone else who takes interest in hand work in general, they are very interesting books) alot if you take it serously and really think about it and really read these books (I guess you do not need to read all of them)

So as I said I was thinking about what I read and it makes a ton of sense. I read a 4 books from a man John Seymour. You can buy them on the internet, or perhaps for free in the Library (I do not know, but worth reading). I also read a book in english by a wood working man named of Alex Bealer the books title was “Old Ways of Working Wood”, published by Castle Books.

Anyway, I first discovered John Seymore by buying a book of his accidently it was called “the Forgotton Arts”It is a very interesting book about old time hand work just about everything, coopering, wagon building, wheel making, tool making, just about everything. I was so fascinated by the book, it was amazing. Then one day I read the introduction to the book (which I must admitt I used to skip very often because it is sometimes dry and boring), and I discovered something, John, is a Genius, he discovered EXACTLY what is wrong with todays economy, rather, he did not discover it, but printed it in a very good fascion, and in a way which made you thirsty for more, it sounds cheesy, or perhaps sappy, but it really changed my way of thinking and outlook in life, it really did!

Well, I looked to see if there were more books available and looked up John Seymour on the wikipedia, and lo and behold he wrote many other books and interesting things, many about gardening (my other hobby with my wife) And I bought a second book called “The New complete book of Self-Sufficiency” This book was even better, it really opened up doors in my future and in my life. After reading through this book, I realized something, I knew what I wanted to do in life.

Just like PurpLev said, you got to think of what you are going to do now, there is nothing to lose, PurpLev is right! You have everything to gain… it all depends on your point of view, as dumb as it may sound. (well Obi Wan said it to Luke when trying to help him out on Dagobah so it must be good advise ;-) )

Look , What I wanted to say in conclusion, is that I realized that from these books that I read, and I recommend them to you 100%, is that what the author says is the quality of life is about good food, good company, good wine/beer, and good honest work.(they are books about tools and gardening after all and very entertaining (at least in german they are). The books say in general, what people used to make with tools and build or grow,... people now adays, including my self, work, work, and work, to buy these things from somebody else. All I know is that there is a growing movement, its been around for a while and recently with all the buisiness problems here in Europe, and especially in England, where my cousin lives, where people are stepping out and just living off the land and using their skills to barter with one another, it simplifies the problems with taxes, truck payments and that sort of financial burdens. I have strongly thought about myself recently and as one handworker to another, there is no better adapted person for such a lifestyle than the woodworker. Thats why I have been thinking of going to canada, I just need to make enough bread to afford the land, and the rest I and my wife could do our selves… really when we as handworkers put our heads to it there is nothing we can not do or build. America is a huge land as is canada, there is land enough, here we are living very densly, and every thing is owned, and no squatting rights.

I dont know if this was helpful, but when I am down about my job and stuff these are the things I think about.

-- Nicholas, Journeyman Cabinetmaker, Partenkirchen, Germany

My father imparted some great words of wisdom years ago that I have never forgot, “When you fall flat on your face just remember that you’re still going forward.”

Forget the past and think of today, that’s what makes tomorrow. You’ve got the skills to make it happen. :)

(Waldschrat, thanks for the tips on the books.)

-- I'm a wood magician... I can turn fine lumber into firewood before your very eyes! - http://www.woodworkersguide.com

I know the feeling all too well, for the last 8 years I have had temp jobs. I finally got sick of it and went back to school. I now have a new job skill and look forward to using it. Hang in there it wiill get better. Ever need anyone to talk to pm me and lets talk. That goes for all other LJ’s as well.

-- Semper Fi -- Ours is not to reason why ours is to do or die----Rick Kruse, Grand Rapids, MI

I too have not seen any negative posts. I see a guy who is looking at different avenues to try and make ends meet. You are going through a tough time and are doing the best you can. I know these are only words and easy to type, and I have not walked a mile in your shoes, but keep your head up and on straight and things will work out the way they are supposed to.

PS – I realy like the teaching idea you had in cooperation with a vocational school.

Take care

-- The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them

Keith, been there – done that. Forget the past and follow your dreams. You have way too much talent to throw away. Things will get better, how soon we do not know. Keep reaching out to us and we will all try to help you through these hard times. Hang in there, we are praying for you too.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality .

Hate to be to be tough on you bud but when everybody else is annointing your wounds but ,you really have to step up to the plate – right now, to save yourself from the abyss.

With your best interests at heart…

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

I know this might sound trivial, but hang in there. You have a beautiful daughter. You have found a “good one” in your girlfriend, she sounds like a keeper. You have your health, your life, and you have those around you who love you and will support you.

I know from experience it WILL get better.

I will keep you in my prayers.

-- Chip -- Manchester, Connecticut "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."...Jimi Hendrix www.penmanchip.com

Dwelling on the past will destroy you and serve no purpose. I too have lost a lot as you have and I was very angry and resentful and drove family (some where employees) away. I resented the fact that they could go and find new jobs and continue on as if nothing happened, I however owning a business could not get an hourly job and still pay the bills the business owed. I had to put my tool belt back on and focus on my future.

I have apologized to family and reconciled. I have not seen negative post from you. I read them all and know I could be right behind you. My back log of work use to be 3 to 4 weeks for 7 guys, now its I hope I have work next week for myself and one helper.

Best of luck to you Keith, I think you are within your early thirties. My life changed and progressed at about thirty five. At fifty three to loose everything I work 33 years for and have to start over will not be fun and I will find myself wishing I was you.

-- Ron Central, CA

It don’t mean nothin.

-- Dan, Sterling Alaska, http://sullcon.homestead.com/ Before you criticise some one, walk a mile in their shoes...then you will be a mile away and you have their shoes!

I,m Not offended by anything you said and you have as much right to vent your spleen as anyone ,Time are pretty nasty all over ,you should try living in a foreign country with nothing ,thats a barrell of monkeys i can assure you, but I know the sun always rises and sets and you never know what will happen the next day, it might be good, it might not, thats the fun and the fear of living . You sound like you are a ballsy kind of guy anyway just keep as upbeat as you can and don,t let the Bastards win. At the end of the day none of us on this site are “gurus” when it comes to giving advice on your life but its nice to know there are those out here who will take the time to lend a “virtual ” ear when you feel like saying something and we are cheaper than shrinks right!

-- if the hand is not working it is not a pure hand

Thinking of you and praying for you too. I and others are going through rough times also. Don’t beat yourself up, you have a lot of friends here.

-- Dan Wiggins

We all make mistakes. We are all victims of circumstances beyond our control. Life isn’t fair. It all builds character. The Lord will provide, trust in Him. I’m a survivor, you can be too!

-- Debt is nothing more than the 21st Century's form of slavery.

bob#2 has it right in my opinion . after reading this story ,it sounds like youve dug yourself into a hole . i think
id put the shovel down . the last thing id want is a ” good one ” that has two kids and no job . no matter how many girlfriends she lets me have . and since this is turning into a prayer meeting ill offer this , if jesus isnt hireing and paying cash i think id be talking to someone that is . in reality you will provide or you will be homeless . thats just my opinion .

Been there done that…..............TWICE.

slept in an old truck for a year after loosing two nice boats, a beautiful home furnished to the nines, a nice sports car and 1 tonne truck, all gone to the lovely X. Went from driving to hitchhiking, from a nice shop to a jackknife. Placed feet on the ground and went forward and got it all back

Another woman, another house, car, appliances…...................POOF and once again, thumbing 60 miles to work at a job that was horrible.

The adversities that are shoved down our throats in life can either destroy you…......or….......make you a stronger, more compassionate, sympathetic person with character others envy.

learn from your past, occasionally look back into your past just dont stare at it for those who live in their past will have no future and lastly

Those who have never failed in life…..........................never did much

-- http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v96/woodworking/

Hi Keith;

I understand your current position puts you into a less than optimistic mood, as it would most of us. And I haven’t noticed any whining to speak of, except maybe during the above narration. But even there, you pulled away in time. I think most of us are not just rainy day friends, that run when the going gets tough, so we all bail.

And I really have give Bob 2 a lot of credit for saying what he did, since that’s probably not what you wanted to hear, but I am more than certain, he has found himself in many desperate situations throughout his life, and learned that the quickest way to get beyond a problem is straight through it. There can be no doubt he was being honest with you, and even trying to help, as his words ring true.

I happen to know a lumberjock, who is dying. He has inoperable cancer, yet he keeps it to himself. He shall remain unknown, unless he mentions it. I never will. His posts are every bit as upbeat as they always were.

I sent him my phone numbers to give him the chance to talk, if he felt the need to unload. He sent me an email, thanking me, but mentioning it’s not his “style”, and in fact he was surprised at himself for telling me.

He figured it must have been while he was drugged up. But he might call me just to to say hello and swap war stories about this business.

That Keith, my friend, is a real problem. What we are going through is a just a detail. A temporary setback. And we’ll get by okay. The world won’t stop. Nobody will shoot us. It’s all just minor details that in ten years we might not even remember.

I’m now in my early fifties, and have lived through what seemed like the end of the world for me, several times. None of those time are important now, other than I might be smarter from them. (maybe) LOL

Deal with one piece at a time, and KNOW things will get better.

One more thing, this is written as much for me, as it is you!

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

Isnt life a royal pain in the A somtimes, I thought I had it all figured out like you did. Have my cake and eat it too.
Some things in life are not meant to be shared, even if you have this so called understanding. Maybe you will as I did step back take a deep breath, clear your mind. And say WTH was I thinking.
Be humble my friend….It will take you far in life. Give of yourself and expect nothing in return ever.
My selfish days are behind me now and life is much more enjoyable.
I dont want to sound like i am beating up on you in public forum, A sugar coat doesnt help.
Good luck and you will have better days coming!

-- Can't never could do anything, to try is to advance.

We are pretty much all friends here. No one is going to get bent out of shape if you whine to us a little. But Bob is right about self -pity being destructive. And so is resentment. Guys often get the shaft in a divorce… it’s a fact of life. Living in a resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It’s also like peeing in your pants… everybody can see it, but only you can feel it.

12 years ago I found my self emotionally and spritually bankrupt. My wife had kicked me out, I was hanging on to a job I hated by a thread, I was thousands in debt. On top of all that, I was staring death in the face courtesy of the physical ravages of late-stage alcoholism.

I was lucky enough to escape from that nightmare, and in the process I gained a whole new outlook on life. I found out that the gifts of a reasonably healthy mind and body are priceless. If I have that, I’ve got no business complaining about anything else life throws my way. Whether I’m happy or not depends only on how I look at things. I can wallow in self-pity and regrets when things get tough, or I can focus on the good things I’ve got as I forge ahead and create a better reality for myself.

In the final analysis, the only thing you can really control is the only thing that matters: Your attitude.

Hang in there, and just do the next right thing. The rest will take care of itself.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

I lost my wife and job on the same day. It’s happened to many of us.

However you can make your situation better. I agree with the above when they say the hole is deep enough. Just a thought, there are on line groups for people in a similar situation as you. (You might be surprised.) They helped me get through it.
Hang tough and good luck.

-- HenryH - PA