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Forum topic by kolwdwrkr posted 02-12-2009 08:04 PM 1600 views 1 time favorited 21 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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2821 posts in 3587 days

02-12-2009 08:04 PM

Topic tags/keywords: appology

Okay guys. I wanted to take the time to say some things about my posts and the negativity that include in them. I have to assume that a lot of people are getting sick of me whining about everything. So I wanted to apologize for that. I also want to apologize if the negative comments I post in them bother anyone. I want to assure you that this isn’t my personality but with hard times comes some depression and emotional problems. I have been very pessimistic about everything. I feel like I can’t make anything good anymore and most of it is due to my attitude. I don’t have a good attitude about anything. My house is getting foreclosed, my business has shut down, I owe the IRS a ton of money, am going to file bankruptcy, going through a divorce, and don’t have a job. I have been selling my tools one by one to pay for my truck and my utilities like my internet, tv, water and power, etc. But other then that nothing else gets paid. Well except of course Child support. Who can forget that. My electrical engineer ex wife apparently can’t live without the additional income to go on top of her 75k a year. Seems like it’s not much per year but she hasn’t even been there for 2 full years and compared to my O a year it’s a lot. But that’s what happens when you can pay for a lawyer and your ex can’t. Personally I should see some alimony and child support. I have the same amount of time with my daughter even though it’s not on paper. My ex always needs me to watch her so she can go to mexico, new york, utah, baltimore, etc for fun. Just got back from a week in Utah skiing in fact. Went to NY for a wedding, and mexico for a 4 day weekend. What will she do next on my child support? Not to mention that half the support pays for the BMW X3 I bought her a few months before she left me. That’s right she left me. Luckily I have found a new girlfriend. She is a good one and likes to do the things I do. Problem is that she doesn’t work either. So we sit here together jobless. Her being afraid that her lack of skill will keep her from getting a job, not to mention she has 2 kids to tend to for a majority of the week. If you can believe how bad the system is f-d up her ex pays 700 in support for 2 kids. I pay 1100 in support for 1 kid. He has a full time job. I do not. Please explain that to me. Oh yeah, she had a lawyer, I did not. She also walked away with 14k in her pocket and left me with 65k in credit card debt, a mortgage, and tax debt. I didn’t do anything to deserve it either. Why did she leave you ask. Well I’m honest and will tell you. I wanted to pursue relations with other women. Have an open marriage. I discussed it with her countless times. She decided that she couldn’t trust me and left. I never cheated on her, was completely honest, etc. I wanted excitement. I’m young and have energy. She’s boring. Blah, blah. I loved her and didn’t want to leave her. I wouldn’t have ever cheated without her consent that’s why I was honest with her and asked. So there you have it. I’m evil for that. I gave her everything with the money my business made and she threw it in my face in the end. So moving on from that. Where the hell is my bail out? I’ve lost 2 very good employees, one of which was my own brother who moved to south Carolina to make minimum wage. People just tell me to keep my head up and hang in there. Hang in there till what? The IRS hauls me off to the pen for tax evasion. Which by the way I’m not evading them. I just can’t pay them. They can take everything I own and it wouldn’t put a dent in what I owe them. The stuff I was left with is worthless. One of my employees even had to give me a couch. I had to buy beds off of craigslist. It’s rediculous.
There’s one thing I know about my problems and my life. It’s all my fault. I caused all of the problems. I was lazy in business. I shouldn’t have disrespected my marriage. And I should have been a better father. I’m just glad that I still get a chance to do that part. But for how long? I am going to have to move away once the house forecloses to a more affordable area.
So what’s the point in all this. An Appology. I appologize for any rude, negative, or disrupting behavior I may have here on lumberjocks. I like the community, respect the people here, and hope that people will put up with my whining. I assure you that this isn’t me, it’s the tough times I’m going through. So until it gets better my work is junk. LOL. And I may uncontrolllably say some negetive responses to other projects mostly because at the time I do I’m grumpy and being a dick. So bare with me guys. Please.

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

21 replies so far

View Will Mego's profile

Will Mego

307 posts in 3709 days

#1 posted 02-12-2009 08:26 PM

Hey, bad stuff happens, and sure, it’s gonna get you down, and angry, and all of that. It’s understandable you’ll lash out.

But yeah, despite what you said, hang in there. The IRS isn’t a robot, they will negotiate with you. You’ll be able in time to settle for probably 5-10% of your total, and do it on an installment plan.

I don’t know your state, but in Illinois all allimony and child support and such is based upon the education and job of the people involved, so in your case, it would of been different. I’m guessing it’s very different where you live.

But yeah, I went though some tough times (no IRS in my case) a couple years back, and there’s no question, it’s tough right now, and I can tell you I didn’t get anyplace until I STOPPED being so angry, upset, pessimistic, and generally an ass….I’m not saying you’re doing any of these things (don’t even recall reading a single comment from you) but base it on your own self-description above. So give yourself enough time to get your bearings, then go follow your wildest idea. I mean, wtf do you have to lose, right? Just go do whatever crazy dream you want.

-- "That which has in itself the greatest use, possesses the greatest beauty." -

View Francisco Luna's profile

Francisco Luna

943 posts in 3390 days

#2 posted 02-12-2009 09:16 PM

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Mathew 11:28-30

I just want to say, no matter how stormy is your situation now (like hundreds of folks here, including me), you are alive!!!!!! that’s a HUGE blessing!!!!
Fortunes disapear and appear in one day….....but life is a precious thing!

With all my heart,I’ll be praying for you and for all the rest of us who are in tight situations right now.

-- Nature is my manifestation of God. I go to nature every day for inspiration in the day's work. I follow in building the principles which nature has used in its domain" Frank Lloyd Wright

View PurpLev's profile


8535 posts in 3645 days

#3 posted 02-12-2009 09:17 PM

I too do not recall reading any negative comments from you…. and as Will said – now is the perfect time for you to stop for a minute, think what it is that you want to do, and pursue that dream – at this point ,there IS nothing to lose – and everything to gain.

Hang in there, just like good times – bad times come to an end as well. make the most you can with it.

-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

View Waldschrat's profile


505 posts in 3432 days

#4 posted 02-12-2009 09:54 PM

I do not know if this too long or too un related, but it might help the imagination of those who are down to think of a new idea of what to do in the future,

I do not know if I can help, and it sounds like you are having a bad time, but I have read a few books lately, I do not know if they will help, but I was thinking about my future the other day, business crisis is here too, and I need a new job as well and they are not find. I think this might help koldwdwrkr (and anyone else who takes interest in hand work in general, they are very interesting books) alot if you take it serously and really think about it and really read these books (I guess you do not need to read all of them)

So as I said I was thinking about what I read and it makes a ton of sense. I read a 4 books from a man John Seymour. You can buy them on the internet, or perhaps for free in the Library (I do not know, but worth reading). I also read a book in english by a wood working man named of Alex Bealer the books title was “Old Ways of Working Wood”, published by Castle Books.

Anyway, I first discovered John Seymore by buying a book of his accidently it was called “the Forgotton Arts”It is a very interesting book about old time hand work just about everything, coopering, wagon building, wheel making, tool making, just about everything. I was so fascinated by the book, it was amazing. Then one day I read the introduction to the book (which I must admitt I used to skip very often because it is sometimes dry and boring), and I discovered something, John, is a Genius, he discovered EXACTLY what is wrong with todays economy, rather, he did not discover it, but printed it in a very good fascion, and in a way which made you thirsty for more, it sounds cheesy, or perhaps sappy, but it really changed my way of thinking and outlook in life, it really did!

Well, I looked to see if there were more books available and looked up John Seymour on the wikipedia, and lo and behold he wrote many other books and interesting things, many about gardening (my other hobby with my wife) And I bought a second book called “The New complete book of Self-Sufficiency” This book was even better, it really opened up doors in my future and in my life. After reading through this book, I realized something, I knew what I wanted to do in life.

Just like PurpLev said, you got to think of what you are going to do now, there is nothing to lose, PurpLev is right! You have everything to gain… it all depends on your point of view, as dumb as it may sound. (well Obi Wan said it to Luke when trying to help him out on Dagobah so it must be good advise ;-) )

Look , What I wanted to say in conclusion, is that I realized that from these books that I read, and I recommend them to you 100%, is that what the author says is the quality of life is about good food, good company, good wine/beer, and good honest work.(they are books about tools and gardening after all and very entertaining (at least in german they are). The books say in general, what people used to make with tools and build or grow,... people now adays, including my self, work, work, and work, to buy these things from somebody else. All I know is that there is a growing movement, its been around for a while and recently with all the buisiness problems here in Europe, and especially in England, where my cousin lives, where people are stepping out and just living off the land and using their skills to barter with one another, it simplifies the problems with taxes, truck payments and that sort of financial burdens. I have strongly thought about myself recently and as one handworker to another, there is no better adapted person for such a lifestyle than the woodworker. Thats why I have been thinking of going to canada, I just need to make enough bread to afford the land, and the rest I and my wife could do our selves… really when we as handworkers put our heads to it there is nothing we can not do or build. America is a huge land as is canada, there is land enough, here we are living very densly, and every thing is owned, and no squatting rights.

I dont know if this was helpful, but when I am down about my job and stuff these are the things I think about.

-- Nicholas, Cabinet/Furniture Maker, Blue Hill, Maine

View TedM's profile


2002 posts in 3729 days

#5 posted 02-12-2009 10:57 PM

My father imparted some great words of wisdom years ago that I have never forgot, “When you fall flat on your face just remember that you’re still going forward.”

Forget the past and think of today, that’s what makes tomorrow. You’ve got the skills to make it happen. :)

(Waldschrat, thanks for the tips on the books.)

-- I'm a wood magician... I can turn fine lumber into firewood before your very eyes! - Please visit and sign up for my project updates!

View Rustic's profile


3253 posts in 3593 days

#6 posted 02-13-2009 12:05 AM

I know the feeling all too well, for the last 8 years I have had temp jobs. I finally got sick of it and went back to school. I now have a new job skill and look forward to using it. Hang in there it wiill get better. Ever need anyone to talk to pm me and lets talk. That goes for all other LJ’s as well.

--, Rick Kruse, Grand Rapids, MI

View Zuki's profile


1404 posts in 4074 days

#7 posted 02-13-2009 12:06 AM

I too have not seen any negative posts. I see a guy who is looking at different avenues to try and make ends meet. You are going through a tough time and are doing the best you can. I know these are only words and easy to type, and I have not walked a mile in your shoes, but keep your head up and on straight and things will work out the way they are supposed to.

PS – I realy like the teaching idea you had in cooperation with a vocational school.

Take care

-- BLOG -

View cabinetmaster's profile


10874 posts in 3555 days

#8 posted 02-13-2009 01:33 AM

Keith, been there – done that. Forget the past and follow your dreams. You have way too much talent to throw away. Things will get better, how soon we do not know. Keep reaching out to us and we will all try to help you through these hard times. Hang in there, we are praying for you too.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View Bob #2's profile

Bob #2

3809 posts in 4018 days

#9 posted 02-13-2009 02:37 AM

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality .

Hate to be to be tough on you bud but when everybody else is annointing your wounds but ,you really have to step up to the plate – right now, to save yourself from the abyss.

With your best interests at heart…


-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

View Padre's profile


930 posts in 3485 days

#10 posted 02-13-2009 04:53 AM

I know this might sound trivial, but hang in there. You have a beautiful daughter. You have found a “good one” in your girlfriend, she sounds like a keeper. You have your health, your life, and you have those around you who love you and will support you.

I know from experience it WILL get better.

I will keep you in my prayers.

-- Chip ----------- 6:8

View RAH's profile


414 posts in 3873 days

#11 posted 02-13-2009 06:00 AM

Dwelling on the past will destroy you and serve no purpose. I too have lost a lot as you have and I was very angry and resentful and drove family (some where employees) away. I resented the fact that they could go and find new jobs and continue on as if nothing happened, I however owning a business could not get an hourly job and still pay the bills the business owed. I had to put my tool belt back on and focus on my future.

I have apologized to family and reconciled. I have not seen negative post from you. I read them all and know I could be right behind you. My back log of work use to be 3 to 4 weeks for 7 guys, now its I hope I have work next week for myself and one helper.

Best of luck to you Keith, I think you are within your early thirties. My life changed and progressed at about thirty five. At fifty three to loose everything I work 33 years for and have to start over will not be fun and I will find myself wishing I was you.

-- Ron Central, CA

View GFYS's profile


711 posts in 3467 days

#12 posted 02-13-2009 06:03 AM

It don’t mean nothin.

View kiwi1969's profile


608 posts in 3438 days

#13 posted 02-13-2009 06:04 AM

I,m Not offended by anything you said and you have as much right to vent your spleen as anyone ,Time are pretty nasty all over ,you should try living in a foreign country with nothing ,thats a barrell of monkeys i can assure you, but I know the sun always rises and sets and you never know what will happen the next day, it might be good, it might not, thats the fun and the fear of living . You sound like you are a ballsy kind of guy anyway just keep as upbeat as you can and don,t let the Bastards win. At the end of the day none of us on this site are “gurus” when it comes to giving advice on your life but its nice to know there are those out here who will take the time to lend a “virtual ” ear when you feel like saying something and we are cheaper than shrinks right!

-- if the hand is not working it is not a pure hand

View savannah505's profile


1813 posts in 3583 days

#14 posted 02-13-2009 06:10 AM

Thinking of you and praying for you too. I and others are going through rough times also. Don’t beat yourself up, you have a lot of friends here.

-- Dan Wiggins

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18268 posts in 3672 days

#15 posted 02-13-2009 08:34 AM

We all make mistakes. We are all victims of circumstances beyond our control. Life isn’t fair. It all builds character. The Lord will provide, trust in Him. I’m a survivor, you can be too!

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

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