Did I ever tell you about Hitler and my mother dirty wee devil so he was

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Forum topic by SCOTSMAN posted 02-09-2009 06:39 PM 1128 views 0 times favorited 11 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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5839 posts in 3005 days

02-09-2009 06:39 PM

My Mother took on Hitler with a roll of linoleum and a pair of red carpet slippers.It was during the ww2 when hitler was on a hiking holiday in the north of scotland. He parked his unterseeboot which was a submarine in the shape of a giant french baguete on the stony shoreline. The dirty devil tried to make a pass at my mother and she swung for him with a rolled up roll of second hand linoleum bought at a farmers sale.She was washing out a pair of used false teeth from the same sale in the briney sea when Adolf bent over and grasped her little butt.he was in prison for 2 years for the attack when he wrote schwein cramp.Not many people know that!!!!Alistair high on Morphine

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

11 replies so far

View HarleySoftailDeuce's profile


274 posts in 2840 days

#1 posted 02-09-2009 06:48 PM

Thanks for the story Alistair!
Hope you are feeling better soon.

-- Paul, Bristol,Rhode Island

View PurpLev's profile


8523 posts in 3068 days

#2 posted 02-09-2009 07:41 PM

ah, if only she hit him harder… evil indeed he was.

-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

View Douglas Bordner's profile

Douglas Bordner

4010 posts in 3484 days

#3 posted 02-09-2009 07:46 PM

Alistair, I believe you are giving Samuel Taylor Coleridge a run for the money. Be careful, and as Paul said, I hope you are feeling better soon.

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

View Kindlingmaker's profile


2656 posts in 2946 days

#4 posted 02-09-2009 08:48 PM

Ha Ha Ha Get better soon Scotsman!

-- Never board, always knotty, lots of growth rings

View Rob Drown's profile

Rob Drown

783 posts in 3253 days

#5 posted 02-09-2009 09:21 PM

Wish she had bopped him a lot harder. Great Story!

Get well friend!!

-- The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. Confucius, 经过艰苦的努力的梦想可以成真

View lew's profile


11263 posts in 3175 days

#6 posted 02-09-2009 09:49 PM

Feel better soon, my friend.

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View jockmike2's profile


10635 posts in 3666 days

#7 posted 02-10-2009 12:02 AM

Great story Alistair, too bad she did not have a glockenspiel to hit him with. Get well you old Scotsman, and do it soon.

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

View Gary's profile


8965 posts in 2853 days

#8 posted 02-10-2009 02:47 AM

So….like….she floored him?

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

View sharad's profile


1108 posts in 3224 days

#9 posted 02-10-2009 05:29 PM

A very shocking story Alistair. Her reaction was too mild for the brute. I am a victim of WW2. In 1942 my family came back to India from Burma mostly on foot taking 42 days to cover the journey. On our way cholera and typhoid were rampant but by God’s grace we were saved. We were 10 in number, parents, six children and two servants. I was 7 years old.
Wish you good health.

-- “If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they have never tried a new thing in their life”.-Albert Einstein

View Brad_Nailor's profile


2539 posts in 3377 days

#10 posted 02-10-2009 08:33 PM

Wow…can I get some of whatever it is your high on?


View woodyoda's profile


117 posts in 2877 days

#11 posted 02-11-2009 01:26 AM

I met a guy in Santa Cruz, Ca…that said he carried John F Kennedy across the French Alps during WW2…...
I actually didn’t know that he was there, I thought he was a PT boat Captain in the Pacific. The guy in Santa Cruz was called the King of the Winos…....I guess he liked wine…....................yoda

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