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Forum topic by bob riley posted 09-15-2014 12:10 AM 1885 views 0 times favorited 21 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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bob riley

14 posts in 1105 days


09-15-2014 12:10 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

this post is for everyone to share any sayings they know from carpentry. e.g.. its must be windy out here or I think this is a left handed hammer


21 replies so far

View woodbutcherbynight's profile

woodbutcherbynight

3293 posts in 2163 days


#1 posted 09-16-2014 01:06 AM

old one but so true, measure twice, cut once.

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View Jay Nolet's profile

Jay Nolet

75 posts in 1793 days


#2 posted 09-17-2014 10:42 PM

While I was doing carpentry for a living, one would need a “Sky hook” once in a while.

-- I think, therefore I think I am.

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

9431 posts in 3183 days


#3 posted 09-17-2014 10:56 PM

LAW OF CONSTRUCTION
Cut it large and kick it into place.
LAW OF FORCE
If it doesn’t fit, you’re not hitting it hard enough.
LAW OF FORCE II
Don’t force it, get a bigger hammer.
If it jams, hit it harder. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View BurlyBob's profile

BurlyBob

4775 posts in 2020 days


#4 posted 11-10-2016 05:07 PM

An old Mentor of mine use to tell me when I was trying to be very accurate, “You ain’t building a piano”. I seem to recall him also saying, ” there’s a reason they call it rough carpentry”.

View oldnovice's profile (online now)

oldnovice

6227 posts in 3122 days


#5 posted 11-10-2016 08:26 PM

“I cut this piece three times and it is still too short!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

View chrisstef's profile

chrisstef

16752 posts in 2760 days


#6 posted 11-10-2016 08:28 PM

“Nothin a little brute force and ignorance wont cure.”

-- Its not a crack, its a casting imperfection.

View diverlloyd's profile

diverlloyd

2170 posts in 1611 days


#7 posted 11-10-2016 09:09 PM

Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Carpentry is easy not as easy as plumbing since all they are is a carpenter with their brains beat in.

View Hammerthumb's profile

Hammerthumb

2742 posts in 1729 days


#8 posted 11-10-2016 10:50 PM

Get the wood stretcher.

-- Paul, Las Vegas

View BurlyBob's profile

BurlyBob

4775 posts in 2020 days


#9 posted 11-10-2016 11:33 PM

Rule #1 in my shop- “Stay out of my damn light!”

View Smitty_Cabinetshop's profile

Smitty_Cabinetshop

14645 posts in 2372 days


#10 posted 11-11-2016 12:02 AM

Strive for perfection, settle for excellence.

-and-

Never fart in the workspace.

-and-

Good enough for who it’s for.
.
.
.
.
(yeah, there’s a bit of conflict between 1 and 3)

-- Don't anthropomorphize your handplanes. They hate it when you do that. -- OldTools Archive --

View papadan's profile

papadan

3564 posts in 3122 days


#11 posted 11-11-2016 12:48 AM

Measure once…cuss twice!

-- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

View murch's profile

murch

1374 posts in 2378 days


#12 posted 11-11-2016 11:54 AM

Screw it quick before it moves again. (this phrase can be used in various interesting situations).

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

View ChrisK's profile

ChrisK

1863 posts in 2836 days


#13 posted 11-11-2016 01:56 PM

If you are going to be stupid you need to be tough!

-- Chris K

View GnarlyErik's profile

GnarlyErik

295 posts in 1888 days


#14 posted 11-15-2016 10:04 PM

“You can have it good, quick or cheap; pick any two!”

-- "Never let your dogma get run over by your karma!"

View Gerald Thompson's profile

Gerald Thompson

814 posts in 1989 days


#15 posted 11-16-2016 01:32 AM

Measure with a broom handle, mark it with chalk, cut it with an axe, beat it to fit and paint it to match.

-- Jerry

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