Crotchety old b@$stard sells 'energy drinks' full of meth & p!ss...3

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Forum topic by Dan'um Style posted 09-08-2014 12:02 AM 1123 views 0 times favorited 6 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Dan'um Style

14171 posts in 3952 days

09-08-2014 12:02 AM

Topic tags/keywords: tip

Boone County resident, Jasper June, 72, was arrested today on felony charges of manufacturing and distributing homemade “energy drinks” containing the powerful stimulate methamphetamine. The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property) to find Jasper wearing only an adult diaper and reading an Arabic pornographic magazine.

Police seized approximately 25 2 liter bottles of June’s “energy drink” found in a cinder block pump house on the property. The bottles tested positive for methamphetamine.

June came under suspicion when he sold four bottles to several high school girls who hours later were checked into a hospital with internal bleeding. The children’s parents phoned authorities.

A police report contained several statements from June:

“They’re just energy drinks like Rockstar or Monster. It’s not meth in there. It’s just lemonade, caffeine, sugar and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn’t put meth in there.”

Customers would come to June’s home to buy the energy drinks for $20 per bottle. One customer spoke on the condition of anonymity:

“I’m shocked Jasper put crank in his energy drinks. I didn’t know nothing about that. I just knew they worked good to keep me awake for a couple days. Stuff way better than Monster [energy drink].”

Hours after June’s first statement, he confessed:

“Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they’ll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle.”

June also faces child endangerment charges for ‘poisoning’ the girls who drank his homemade concoction.

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

6 replies so far

View woodbutcherbynight's profile


4354 posts in 2378 days

#1 posted 09-08-2014 12:06 AM

Out of curiosity who were the other 4??

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View distrbd's profile


2252 posts in 2416 days

#2 posted 09-08-2014 12:22 AM

Maybe he knew he needed a place to hide soon. !

-- Ken from Ontario, Canada

View rdlaurance's profile


367 posts in 3316 days

#3 posted 09-08-2014 07:43 AM

Seems not entirely true…. about Saddam Hussein, that part is true….

According to Wikipedia the TEN people (or 7 real people if you disregard the mythical Santa Claus, the Sesame Street character and the Simpson character…. not 5) that have been awarded the key to the city of Detroit:

Sammy Davis Jr. – Entertainer (awarded 1961 by Mayor Louis Miriani )
Santa Claus – Given annually at the city’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
James Earl Jones – Actor
Elmo – Sesame Street character
Benjamin Carson – Neurosurgeon
Chief Wiggum – The Simpsons character
Jerome Bettis – football star
Steve Yzerman – received the key to the city after his retirement and having his Hockey jersey retired
Mike Ilitch – businessman and sports team owner
Saddam Hussein – former Iraqi president, given key in 1980 in recognition of large donations to a church

-- Rick, south Sweden

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Dan'um Style

14171 posts in 3952 days

#4 posted 03-15-2015 03:00 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View TheFridge's profile


9253 posts in 1455 days

#5 posted 03-15-2015 03:45 AM

Some people

-- Shooting down the walls of heartache. Bang bang. I am. The warrior.

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

14171 posts in 3952 days

#6 posted 03-16-2015 01:34 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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