|Forum topic by Planeman40||posted 07-10-2014 04:34 PM||564 views||0 times favorited||5 replies|
07-10-2014 04:34 PM
As a good ole Georgia boy as I am you have to know these things!
Redneck Engineer Exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) ‘65 Ford Fairlane (B) ‘69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) ‘64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser’s will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet.
6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man’s land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
I betcha thought that this test was gonna be an easy one, didn’t ya? It’s okay if y’all didn’t do all that well. Just goes to show ya there’s a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don’t prepare ya for in this life
-- Always remember: It is a mathematical certainty that half the people in this country are below average in intelligence!