And then the fight started.

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Forum topic by BigStick posted 01-25-2009 01:57 AM 1734 views 0 times favorited 40 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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17 posts in 2508 days

01-25-2009 01:57 AM

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”

I bought her a scale.
And then the Fight Started

Lets see where this goes..

-- Tommy, Pa,

40 replies so far

View lew's profile


10698 posts in 2846 days

#1 posted 01-25-2009 02:08 AM

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her Not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And then the fight started…..

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View Brad_Nailor's profile


2535 posts in 3048 days

#2 posted 01-25-2009 02:14 AM

My wife asked me to get her watch fixed the other day and I replied “why bother…there is a clock on the stove”

And then the fight started…...


View woodsmithshop's profile


1233 posts in 2636 days

#3 posted 01-25-2009 02:29 AM

I haven’t spoke to my wife for three weeks now, I don’t want to interrupt her.
( if she sees this, there will be a fight)

-- Smitty!!!

View Ageingwood's profile


63 posts in 2912 days

#4 posted 01-25-2009 02:39 AM

My wife asks if I can do some thing and I answer , I could !! ( and then the fight starts )

-- Ageingwood - No time , retired

View Cantputjamontoast's profile


416 posts in 2523 days

#5 posted 01-25-2009 02:45 AM

In a discussion with the wife once about the frequency of physical activity I said, “Without that part of our relationship we’re just friends…and not even really good friends.”

Big mistake.

-- "Not skilled enough to wipe jam on toast!"

View mrtrim's profile


1696 posts in 2971 days

#6 posted 01-25-2009 02:50 AM

my ex wife ask me if she happen to die would i remarry . i said i suppose i might . she said i guess youd give her my golf clubs ? i said probably not shes left handed ! and thats when she took my house and buick !

View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 2856 days

#7 posted 01-25-2009 02:58 AM

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for
our anniversary?”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….

View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 2856 days

#8 posted 01-25-2009 02:59 AM

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as Iwas flipping channels.She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started…

View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 2856 days

#9 posted 01-25-2009 02:59 AM

A woman was standing nude, looking in the
bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to
her husband, ‘I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near

And then the fight started…..

View Karson's profile


34994 posts in 3491 days

#10 posted 01-25-2009 03:00 AM

My wife keeps asking me, “When are you going to finish the kitchen cabinets?”. I tell her that her Aunt had curtains over the cabinets for 40 years, so what’s the problem,.

Then the fight started . . .

True story on the curtains. Her aunt died 5 years ago and her uncle just a month ago. I asked her if he ever got cabinet doors made. She said no.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia †

View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 2856 days

#11 posted 01-25-2009 03:00 AM

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of
Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for

I told her the beer would make her look better
at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 2856 days

#12 posted 01-25-2009 03:01 AM

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour .

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be
bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed,
and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you
believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started …

View juniorjock's profile


1930 posts in 2856 days

#13 posted 01-25-2009 03:02 AM

I’ve got a million of ‘em….... well not really. But a bunch.
- JJ

View SCOTSMAN's profile


5784 posts in 2676 days

#14 posted 01-25-2009 03:12 AM

my sister went to the doctor she asked to have about 40 pounds of ugly overlapping fat removed he cut off her head LOL Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

View Tim Pursell's profile

Tim Pursell

495 posts in 2873 days

#15 posted 01-25-2009 03:15 AM

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for retirement benefits.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later with my I.D.

The woman said,’Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said,’That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said,’You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability benefits, too’

And then the fight started…..


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