And then the fight started.

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her Not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And then the fight started…..

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the world's finest custom rolling pins!

My wife asked me to get her watch fixed the other day and I replied “why bother…there is a clock on the stove”

And then the fight started…...

-- http://www.facebook.com/pages/DSO-Designs/297237806954248

I haven’t spoke to my wife for three weeks now, I don’t want to interrupt her.
( if she sees this, there will be a fight)
Smitty

-- Smitty!!!

My wife asks if I can do some thing and I answer , I could !! ( and then the fight starts )

-- Ageingwood - artsplae1@msn.com No time , retired

In a discussion with the wife once about the frequency of physical activity I said, “Without that part of our relationship we’re just friends…and not even really good friends.”

Big mistake.

-- "Not skilled enough to wipe jam on toast!"

my ex wife ask me if she happen to die would i remarry . i said i suppose i might . she said i guess youd give her my golf clubs ? i said probably not shes left handed ! and thats when she took my house and buick !

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for
our anniversary?”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she
said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as Iwas flipping channels.She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started…

A woman was standing nude, looking in the
bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to
her husband, ‘I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near
perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

My wife keeps asking me, “When are you going to finish the kitchen cabinets?”. I tell her that her Aunt had curtains over the cabinets for 40 years, so what’s the problem,.

Then the fight started . . .

True story on the curtains. Her aunt died 5 years ago and her uncle just a month ago. I asked her if he ever got cabinet doors made. She said no.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of
Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for
$7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better
at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour .

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be
bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed,
and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is
terrible.’

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you
believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started …

I’ve got a million of ‘em….... well not really. But a bunch.
- JJ

my sister went to the doctor she asked to have about 40 pounds of ugly overlapping fat removed he cut off her head LOL Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for retirement benefits.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later with my I.D.

The woman said,’Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said,’That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said,’You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability benefits, too’

And then the fight started…..

-- http://www.etsy.com/shop/tpursell?ref=si_shop