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Forum topic by longgone posted 04-29-2014 07:51 PM 716 views 0 times favorited 4 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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longgone

5688 posts in 2311 days


04-29-2014 07:51 PM

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
‘HILLBILLIES.’
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘

2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is
‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’

3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a
‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’

4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a
‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes
‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a
‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a
‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is
‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’

3.. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He
‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in
‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’

5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’

6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s
‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’


4 replies so far

View RockyTopScott's profile

RockyTopScott

1184 posts in 2481 days


#1 posted 04-30-2014 06:53 PM

Sweet. As a Tennesseean it about time I got the respect and reverance I deserve.

-- “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.” ― Thomas Sowell

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distrbd

1734 posts in 1449 days


#2 posted 04-30-2014 07:22 PM

I got a good laugh,thanks.
May I add one correction:
He’s not short and bald,he’s vertically and follically challenged.

-- Ken from Ontario, Canada

View crank49's profile

crank49

3853 posts in 1974 days


#3 posted 04-30-2014 08:20 PM

I doubt a majority of the typical American persons from locations other than Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia can pronounce APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS, much less know where the name comes from.

-- Michael: Hillary has a long list of accomplishments, though most DAs would refer to them as felonies.

View cutworm's profile

cutworm

1074 posts in 1796 days


#4 posted 05-01-2014 12:23 AM

I’m a proud Appalachian American from West – by God – Virginia. And I’m ok with being called a hillbilly.

-- Steve - "Never Give Up"

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