LumberJocks

Politically Correct

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by Greg The Cajun Box Sculptor posted 86 days ago 454 views 0 times favorited 4 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View Greg The Cajun Box Sculptor's profile

Greg The Cajun Box Sculptor

4934 posts in 1906 days


86 days ago

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
‘HILLBILLIES.’
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘

2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is
‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’

3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a
‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’

4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a
‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes
‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a
‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a
‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is
‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’

3.. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He
‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in
‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’

5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’

6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s
‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’

-- Every step of each project is considered my masterpiece because I want the finished product to reflect the quality of my work.


4 replies so far

View RockyTopScott's profile

RockyTopScott

1123 posts in 2076 days


#1 posted 85 days ago

Sweet. As a Tennesseean it about time I got the respect and reverance I deserve.

-- “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.” ― Thomas Sowell

View distrbd's profile

distrbd

998 posts in 1044 days


#2 posted 85 days ago

I got a good laugh,thanks.
May I add one correction:
He’s not short and bald,he’s vertically and follically challenged.

-- Ken from Ontario

View crank49's profile

crank49

3337 posts in 1569 days


#3 posted 85 days ago

I doubt a majority of the typical American persons from locations other than Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia can pronounce APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS, much less know where the name comes from.

-- Michael :-{| “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” ― A H

View cutworm's profile

cutworm

1058 posts in 1391 days


#4 posted 85 days ago

I’m a proud Appalachian American from West – by God – Virginia. And I’m ok with being called a hillbilly.

-- Steve - "Never Give Up"

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

GardenTenders.com :: gardening showcase