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Forum topic by Box posted 91 days ago 544 views 0 times favorited 10 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Box

4937 posts in 1911 days


91 days ago

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship…

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot.”


10 replies so far

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

13341 posts in 941 days


#1 posted 91 days ago

I’m just laughing. Thanks for your post.

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it. - It's not ability that we often lack, but the patience to use our ability

View JoeinGa's profile

JoeinGa

3104 posts in 610 days


#2 posted 91 days ago

”My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.”

Good for you, keep it there!

I also fought with my wife and kids about joining FB but finally gave in about 3 or 4 months ago. Now I’m up till WAY PAST bedtime trying to reply to questions asked and clicking “LIKE” on every damn cute Doxie puppy I see! So DONT DO IT! KEEP YOUR SANITY!

I HAVE been able to resist getting a cell phone! Yep! Believe it or not, I DONT have one! About 8 or 9 years ago my wife decided I NEEDED one for the 46 mile drive to and from work I made daily. (My only transportation was a motorcycle then) She said “You drive all that way on the Interstate to work every day and back home at night. What happens if you break down? “

I said “So I’ll wait till some nice soul sees me on the side and stops to offer assistance. I’ll use their phone to call you.”

“But what if no one stops”

“Then I’ll walk to the next exit and call you from there”

“BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT???”

“So then the POLICE will call you.”

End of discussion!

-- Perform A Random Act Of Kindness Today ... Pay It Forward

View SuperCubber's profile

SuperCubber

243 posts in 887 days


#3 posted 91 days ago

Anyone else having flashbacks from The Shawshank Redemption?

Hilarious!

View Cricket's profile

Cricket

656 posts in 195 days


#4 posted 91 days ago

I am laughing so hard. Thank you for bring me a smile tonight.

-- Follow LumberJocks on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/LumberJocksCom

View gfadvm's profile

gfadvm

10598 posts in 1293 days


#5 posted 90 days ago

Greg, Really good to know I am not alone in my lack of technological know how. I have never been on Facebook, Twitter, and never Skyped anyone. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn once.

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

View Bill White's profile

Bill White

3350 posts in 2563 days


#6 posted 89 days ago

VERY well said Greg.
“Bisacksual”?? Bwahahaha.
Bill

-- bill@magraphics.us

View lightcs1776's profile

lightcs1776

3306 posts in 257 days


#7 posted 87 days ago

Sure do miss the good old days when folks calling had something of value ro say. My kids will call to ask if there is anything for lunch. Shouldn’t a 21 YO know how to figure out lunch? Oh well, at least all his friends will enjoy tge picture of his peanut butter sandwich. Why they is a mystery to me.

-- Chris ** If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. — Tom Paine **

View PaulDoug's profile

PaulDoug

521 posts in 306 days


#8 posted 87 days ago

No face book for me, no tweeter for me, no cell phone for me, I like a simple life and what I do is not everyone’s business, nor do I feel I need to know everyone else’s business, (nor do I care). Thanks for the good chuckle this morning, I want you to know you are not alone. I do enjoy my PC and the internet though. I’d be lost without it.

-- “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will.” - Chuck Palahniuk

View MrRon's profile

MrRon

2724 posts in 1846 days


#9 posted 87 days ago

My Grandkids are trying to get me to do messaging on the cell phone. I won’t do it and that’s that. A cell phone is as far as I go with wireless technology.

View Roger's profile

Roger

14166 posts in 1407 days


#10 posted 72 days ago

Very funny Greg. It’s amazing to just watch how many people, young and old, are glued to their phones. Everywhere, while doing everything. Thee most rediculous place is the bathroom. Now, Really???? is that text, or call, that important. I always hope the idiots will drop their phones in the porcelain receptacle. Now that would be very funny.

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Kentuk55@bellsouth.net

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