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Forum topic by MrStyle posted 03-24-2014 04:26 PM 843 views 0 times favorited 7 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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82 posts in 1752 days

03-24-2014 04:26 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

Well after another weekend in the shop I have decided to offer my services up professionally:

IF you require any of the following – please contact me right away since I an expert in these areas:

1. Work pieces measured short by 1/8 to ¼ inch
2. Stop blocks placed on the wrong side of the cut
3. Long periods of time configuring machines and jigs – only to discover a mistake made in step 2
4. Rats nest of extension cords and power cords surrounding your workbench
5. At least 3 trips to the home center on any project
6. A place for every tool and not one tool in its place
7. By the way I also work well in poor lighting

My prices are reasonable…..especially considering the staggering level of proficiency at the tasks mentioned that I provide…

I honestly don’t know why I continue with this damn hobby…..other than I love it when it does go right….

7 replies so far

View JADobson's profile (online now)


1061 posts in 2132 days

#1 posted 03-24-2014 05:06 PM

I’d love to take you up on your offer but, to be honest I can do the same in house without the overhead costs. Its hard to justify hiring someone to take care of this when it comes so naturally to me. Haha. Stay safe.

-- No craft is very far from the line beyond which is magic. -- Lord Dunsany — Instagram @grailwoodworks

View Mark Shymanski's profile

Mark Shymanski

5621 posts in 3734 days

#2 posted 03-24-2014 05:07 PM

Sounds like we went to the same school LOL! I have noticed that with much practice and concious effort my profficiency in number 6 is going down :-) Having the kids with me in the shop actually makes me keep a cleaner and tidier shop.

-- "Checking for square? What madness is this! The cabinet is square because I will it to be so!" Jeremy Greiner LJ Topic#20953 2011 Feb 2

View bbrewer's profile


43 posts in 1997 days

#3 posted 03-24-2014 05:34 PM

I take at least two positives from this list, sounds like you’re consistent and have good vision. When you live 20-30 miles from supplies, like I do, you begin to adapt existing products to new uses rather than go to town.

-- Tom southern MI

View Gerald Thompson's profile

Gerald Thompson

970 posts in 2256 days

#4 posted 03-24-2014 05:59 PM

I can do all of that plus make a chip breaker razor sharp.

-- Jerry

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18283 posts in 3697 days

#5 posted 03-24-2014 11:01 PM

I would hire you , but I am pretty much a Do-It-Yourselfer ;-)

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View NoThanks's profile


798 posts in 1550 days

#6 posted 03-24-2014 11:34 PM

I don’t think you are going to make it professionally at this. You will find that you are just an average Joe when it comes to the above mentioned things and that we are all pretty good at doing these chores ourselves.
However if you need help stacking things on every available flat surface in your shop, then I may be able to assist you, for I am an expert in that area.

-- Because I'm gone, that's why!

View lateralus819's profile


2241 posts in 1911 days

#7 posted 03-24-2014 11:52 PM

I noticed youre not quite skilled in the lumber to firewood department. I can surely assist in as little as 1 step.

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