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Forum topic by Cricket posted 03-06-2014 05:34 PM 3347 views 1 time favorited 111 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Cricket

829 posts in 248 days


03-06-2014 05:34 PM

In this community members are expected to treat each other with respect at all times.

There will always be disagreements and fusses between members. It is simply human nature. We truly encourage members to discuss and openly share their thoughts on a topic. It is how we all learn and life would be pretty boring if we all felt the same way.

That being said, this is not grade school. We don’t gang up in little groups to take sides or encourage others to do the same.

If you were at a local get together and got into a disagreement with someone, I am guessing you would take it outside instead of ruining the party for everyone. I expect the same here.

If you are not able to discuss a topic respectfully then you need to remove yourself from the topic. If you are unable to discuss a topic with a specific member then you need to choose to ignore that member or take the discussion off the boards. If you are unable to do either of these things, I will help you to do so.

I wrote this for another forum a while back. Today I want to share it with LumberJocks.

The Other Side Of The Monitor

Do you ever stop to think who is on the other side of the monitor? Do you always remember that it is a breathing human being? When you post in a community, do you consider how your words might be taken by others? Do you care? Even when someone post a question that we consider completely stupid or rude, does our own response add to the problem? Or, do we go out of our way to help turn a negative into a positive?

Does being right but humiliating others make us more right? Do we imagine that people are watching and thinking how smart we are?

Do we stop for even one second to think how we made that person on the other side of the monitor feel?

I have heard people say that if someone post something stupid or rude, they deserve whatever they get as a response. Seriously? Have we considered that we have no clue what is going on in their lives? Perhaps they are completely alone in life and they’re just looking for some attention. Maybe our response can show them a better way through our own example.

Have we considered that they may be extremely depressed and are acting out? Could our response make a difference, not just for the individual, but for the community as a whole? We don’t know what is going on in their lives, but as in any community, we know that right now, in this moment, we are all dealing with our own issues.

Right now, someone is trying to deal with a loss of a loved one. Someone else may be dealing with extensive financial difficulties or has been burned so many times that they choose to hurt others before someone can hurt them. They may even be considering taking their own life. We simply don’t know.

One thing we know for sure though, on the other side of that monitor is a human being.

Am I asking that we be “nice” to those who we honestly feel don’t deserve it?

I am simply suggesting that maybe we consider if our own response helps or hurts the community as a whole. Perhaps we can make a difference in someone’s life today, just by giving a dang.

Just my 2 cents . . .

-- Follow LumberJocks on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/LumberJocksCom


111 replies so far

View CL810's profile

CL810

2017 posts in 1644 days


#1 posted 03-06-2014 05:49 PM

Crickett, don’t make it your 2 cents worth. Make it happen. Give people one warning then on second offense suspend them for a period of time, and then expel them for the third. Be firm and consistent. There are LJs who have been turned around for the better by that approach. The best way for LJs to deal with it is to ignore the individuals. I know people will say “why expel them they can come back under a new name?” Well in my experience they have been found out pretty quick. And if they come back and behave, then all is good.

You have become aware that there are people who consistently “stir” things up. You know it and 99% of LJs know it and I’m sure they would appreciate you dealing with it.

-- "It's amazing how much can go wrong when you think you know what you're doing."

View Clint Searl's profile

Clint Searl

1455 posts in 1017 days


#2 posted 03-06-2014 06:01 PM

Yes, Nanny.

-- Clint Searl....Ya can no more do what ya don't know how than ya can git back from where ya ain't been

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

112095 posts in 2233 days


#3 posted 03-06-2014 06:28 PM

It’s a real joy to see some one watching who cares, Amen to your above thoughts Cricket

””People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?”Rodney king.

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View freddy1962's profile

freddy1962

758 posts in 204 days


#4 posted 03-06-2014 06:30 PM

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now, thanks Cricket!

-- JEFF Illinois (Banks of the Mississippi)

View knotscott's profile

knotscott

5462 posts in 2031 days


#5 posted 03-06-2014 06:40 PM

Very well said Cricket. Things don’t always come across in print as intended, so it’s great to keep in mind that there are real people involved….whether you’re right or wrong, agree or disagree, it’s always best to treat others as we’d like to be treated.

-- Happiness is like wetting your pants...everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth....

View Nicholas Hall's profile

Nicholas Hall

348 posts in 762 days


#6 posted 03-06-2014 06:43 PM

Cricket is spot on.

Behave like gentlemen or take it outside (of the forum)!

-- Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

View Blackie_'s profile

Blackie_

3392 posts in 1168 days


#7 posted 03-06-2014 08:18 PM

All great points Cricket, sadly there are a lot of peeps that actually get off on others dismay so they feed off of it, there are some that are born smart asses they think they are being cute by it , there are others that don’t know proper etiquette on forums how to use a smiley face or an LOL to let known they are being just or being silly, there are those from different parts of the world thus they have different cultures, some more arrogant then others.

To bad we don’t have the control here as we do on facebook, to be able to remove a comment if we deem it negative.

-- Randy - If I'm not on LJ's then I'm making Saw Dust. Please feel free to visit my store location at http://www.facebook.com/randy.blackstock.custom.wood.designs

View Richard's profile

Richard

906 posts in 1346 days


#8 posted 03-06-2014 08:34 PM

Sometimes the Best Response is No Response at all . If someone is looking for an agrument and gets no response then maybe they will go someplace else.

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5655 posts in 2084 days


#9 posted 03-06-2014 08:36 PM

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Grandpa's profile

Grandpa

3133 posts in 1331 days


#10 posted 03-06-2014 09:24 PM

Thanks for your comments Cricket. It is always easier to play by the rules and for you to enforce the rules when the rules have been spelled out. Thanks for that. Good luck with this task.

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

14204 posts in 994 days


#11 posted 03-06-2014 09:55 PM

Monumental task. This has been preached repeatedly. Regardless of the topic, if it starts going bad i will not comment any further. I am here for woodworking. I am not getting all worked up about non woodworking issues. I support your thoughts on this, I hope you can hold to it.

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View kdc68's profile

kdc68

1979 posts in 932 days


#12 posted 03-06-2014 10:17 PM

Despite all the petty discord, this is the best woodworking site around. Glad to be a part of it.

Thanks for the forum and good luck

-- Measure "at least" twice and cut once

View Cricket's profile

Cricket

829 posts in 248 days


#13 posted 03-06-2014 10:17 PM

Life is way too short to get hung up on the little stuff. :-)

-- Follow LumberJocks on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/LumberJocksCom

View Redoak49's profile

Redoak49

342 posts in 644 days


#14 posted 03-06-2014 10:21 PM

Cricket…thanks.

There are some threads that have people who openly admit that they have been just stirring the pot. A little of it is bound to happen but when it is taking over a post, it is too much. I enjoy a good discussion on the merits of a subject but when it gets personal it ruins the thread.

View joeyinsouthaustin's profile

joeyinsouthaustin

1256 posts in 728 days


#15 posted 03-06-2014 11:00 PM

I respect the heart of what you are saying, and yes be nice or take it outside is the rules, and a good one, but let’s also remember a lot of folks work with wood, not only for the joy it provides, but also because it’s not people. Compared to the real world of carpenters I deal with on a daily basis… this place is very polite… so I think the “community” is trying.

-- Who is John Galt?

showing 1 through 15 of 111 replies

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