Funny Onion article about cabinets

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Forum topic by BinghamtonEd posted 02-07-2014 04:40 PM 1149 views 0 times favorited 14 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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2298 posts in 2398 days

02-07-2014 04:40 PM

A funny article from The Onion :

Couple Never Dreamed They Would Be Able To Talk So Openly, Honestly About Cabinets

-- - The mightiest oak in the forest is just a little nut that held its ground.

14 replies so far

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66 posts in 1600 days

#1 posted 02-07-2014 07:23 PM

Funny. I work at a lumberyard that has a kitchen design department. I’m going to forward this link to my buddy Mike the head designer. He will get a kick out of it. Thanks.

-- Vieth Custom Furniture,

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#2 posted 02-08-2014 01:34 AM

” Mark , darling , I am so pleased we decided on the single shelf, and just a curtain

for the pantry ! I think we are finally coming together on our shared minimalistic vision ,

at last . “

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#3 posted 02-08-2014 02:15 AM

” I warned you to get rid of these hideous cabinets !!!!! Now I am going to beat you senseless !!!!!!!! “

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#4 posted 02-08-2014 02:41 AM

” Hello ! My name is Bridget ,welcome ! I will be your Design Coordinator as well as your Marriage Councilor today.”

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#5 posted 02-08-2014 03:25 AM

” I’m looking at it right now dear. We are way over on the change orders . The change on the cabinets alone

was an extra Five grand , Holy crap !!! “

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#6 posted 02-08-2014 04:50 AM

” I know it’s hard to accept the fact that your cabinets are MDF .

It’s painful . But we can work through this in time . “

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#7 posted 02-08-2014 07:19 AM

” I’ve been installing cabinets for over a fiftieth of a century ,

but these freaking shop drawings I was given are just absurd ! “

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#8 posted 02-08-2014 08:01 AM

@ The Onion . com : Dear Onions , The next time you wish to have some
custom woodworking humor installed on your site , please contact me .
No one beats Lumberjocks .com , if it relates to woodworking !


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283 posts in 1968 days

#9 posted 02-08-2014 10:23 AM

Good thing they were not discussing what type of Granite for the counter tops.

Yea know the Jonse’s , well they split up. She thought the granite had to come from the left side of a boulder that rolled off the mountian in a South direction.

He was fixated on aligning the original stone to it’s magnetic north. Then he learned about the angle of decanlation moved from year to year. Well that sent him over the edge. He could not cope with the idea, that magnetic north and Santa’s workshop were not affixed.

He went on a drinking binge, lost his job and the house. DUI also.

She ran away with a guy who grew up with laminate counter tops. The whole family had disowned her now that she is letting her standards slide. The family went over for an intervention, well they came in and saw post formed counter tops. Mrs Jone’s mother had a nervous breakdown and was taken away by EMT’s.

The children are now Wards of the State. They are having difficulty adjusting to there new foster home. The loving couple that offered there home to the shattered family, had just installed Quartz counter tops. They are asking the State to give them a $12,000. This is to put in Granite tops, under the same plan as wheel chair ramps, and roll in showers.

The social workers have approved the spending, but are held up, deciding the country of origin and possible connections with terrorism. 2 workers have been put on stress leave, due to infighting.

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294 posts in 1689 days

#10 posted 02-08-2014 11:15 AM

LakeLover………thats funny

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893 posts in 2705 days

#11 posted 02-08-2014 03:00 PM

the comments are funnier than the article! ha!

LakeLover…you crack me up, dude!

Ever sit in on a Home depot “free” cabinet design with a client? loads of fun. never again.

ever take a client to a granite warehouse?......5 hours later,

”it’s between this one and this one and…. where is that other one?”

so much for lunch.

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4898 posts in 2438 days

#12 posted 02-10-2014 12:55 AM

I read this article and had a urgent desire to drink the entire bottle to save myself. ROFLMAO

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

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1782 posts in 2593 days

#13 posted 02-10-2014 03:46 AM

absolutely asinine

-- It's made of wood. Real sturdy.--Chubbs Peterson

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2118 posts in 2710 days

#14 posted 02-10-2014 04:08 AM

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