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Funny Onion article about cabinets

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Forum topic by BinghamtonEd posted 173 days ago 657 views 0 times favorited 14 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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BinghamtonEd

1204 posts in 973 days


173 days ago

A funny article from The Onion :

Couple Never Dreamed They Would Be Able To Talk So Openly, Honestly About Cabinets

-- - The mightiest oak in the forest is just a little nut that held its ground.


14 replies so far

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VCF

66 posts in 175 days


#1 posted 173 days ago

Funny. I work at a lumberyard that has a kitchen design department. I’m going to forward this link to my buddy Mike the head designer. He will get a kick out of it. Thanks.

-- Vieth Custom Furniture, https://sites.google.com/site/viethcustomfurniture/

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#2 posted 172 days ago

” Mark , darling , I am so pleased we decided on the single shelf, and just a curtain

for the pantry ! I think we are finally coming together on our shared minimalistic vision ,

at last . “

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#3 posted 172 days ago

” I warned you to get rid of these hideous cabinets !!!!! Now I am going to beat you senseless !!!!!!!! “

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#4 posted 172 days ago

” Hello ! My name is Bridget ,welcome ! I will be your Design Coordinator as well as your Marriage Councilor today.”

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#5 posted 172 days ago

” I’m looking at it right now dear. We are way over on the change orders . The change on the cabinets alone

was an extra Five grand , Holy crap !!! “

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#6 posted 172 days ago

” I know it’s hard to accept the fact that your cabinets are MDF .

It’s painful . But we can work through this in time . “

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#7 posted 172 days ago

” I’ve been installing cabinets for over a fiftieth of a century ,

but these freaking shop drawings I was given are just absurd ! “

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#8 posted 172 days ago

@ The Onion . com : Dear Onions , The next time you wish to have some
custom woodworking humor installed on your site , please contact me .
No one beats Lumberjocks .com , if it relates to woodworking !

~moment

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LakeLover

274 posts in 543 days


#9 posted 172 days ago

Good thing they were not discussing what type of Granite for the counter tops.

Yea know the Jonse’s , well they split up. She thought the granite had to come from the left side of a boulder that rolled off the mountian in a South direction.

He was fixated on aligning the original stone to it’s magnetic north. Then he learned about the angle of decanlation moved from year to year. Well that sent him over the edge. He could not cope with the idea, that magnetic north and Santa’s workshop were not affixed.

He went on a drinking binge, lost his job and the house. DUI also.

She ran away with a guy who grew up with laminate counter tops. The whole family had disowned her now that she is letting her standards slide. The family went over for an intervention, well they came in and saw post formed counter tops. Mrs Jone’s mother had a nervous breakdown and was taken away by EMT’s.

The children are now Wards of the State. They are having difficulty adjusting to there new foster home. The loving couple that offered there home to the shattered family, had just installed Quartz counter tops. They are asking the State to give them a $12,000. This is to put in Granite tops, under the same plan as wheel chair ramps, and roll in showers.

The social workers have approved the spending, but are held up, deciding the country of origin and possible connections with terrorism. 2 workers have been put on stress leave, due to infighting.

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Kryptic

294 posts in 264 days


#10 posted 172 days ago

LakeLover………thats funny

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reedwood

858 posts in 1279 days


#11 posted 172 days ago

the comments are funnier than the article! ha!

LakeLover…you crack me up, dude!

Ever sit in on a Home depot “free” cabinet design with a client? loads of fun. never again.

ever take a client to a granite warehouse?......5 hours later,

”it’s between this one and this one and…. where is that other one?”

so much for lunch.

-- mark

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woodbutcherbynight

1236 posts in 1012 days


#12 posted 170 days ago

I read this article and had a urgent desire to drink the entire bottle to save myself. ROFLMAO

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

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BentheViking

1746 posts in 1167 days


#13 posted 170 days ago

absolutely asinine

-- It's made of wood. Real sturdy.--Chubbs Peterson

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moment

2103 posts in 1284 days


#14 posted 170 days ago

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