Spousal translation issue

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Forum topic by Sandra posted 01-17-2014 01:49 PM 1665 views 1 time favorited 46 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2217 days

01-17-2014 01:49 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

Last night, I went into the garage (aka my workshop) where my dear hubby was changing the wear bars on his snowmobile. After 24 years together, we’ve mutually accepted the fact that he is NOT handy. At least he thought to ask before trying to use my impact driver to drill through metal.

I try to be patient, but I gasped in horror and almost teared up when I saw that he had the front of his sled propped up on pieces of birdseye maple. His response was to say that he got it from my ‘scrap’ cart. That led to an explanation about the meaning of ‘scrap cart’.

So what translation issues have you run into with your spouse in regards to your workshop?

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

46 replies so far

View chrisstef's profile


17671 posts in 3148 days

#1 posted 01-17-2014 01:55 PM

“Im gonna pop down to the cave for a few”

Translation – ill be in the shop making all kinds of noise and you wont see me for at least an hour and when you do, ill be spreading a trail of sawdust like it was breadcrumbs and I had forgotten my way back down to the shop.

-- Its not a crack, its a casting imperfection.

View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2217 days

#2 posted 01-17-2014 02:15 PM

Good one!

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View JL7's profile


8684 posts in 3107 days

#3 posted 01-17-2014 02:18 PM


I’ve been told by more than one non-woodworker that I shouldn’t tell them that a project was made from scraps…...their image of scraps is completely different…....

Is the Birdseye ok?? Lol…

-- Jeff .... Minnesota, USA

View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2217 days

#4 posted 01-17-2014 02:26 PM

I checked the birdseye, cradled it in my arms for awhile and it was okay.

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View distrbd's profile


2252 posts in 2588 days

#5 posted 01-17-2014 03:08 PM

Scrap box,My wife knows it as cut off bin ,the real scrap bin has unuseable pieces of wood,sawdust .I had to make her aware of the difference early on when I started the hobby.
BTW,when my wife goes to my shop to get a philips screwdriver she always comes back with 5-6 different types,lengths.just incase .

-- Ken from Ontario, Canada

View Bluepine38's profile


3379 posts in 3227 days

#6 posted 01-17-2014 04:45 PM

My wife used to be a full time drummer in country western bands before she got her law degree. She has
her musical instruments which I do not mess with unless she needs an adapter or special adjustment made.
She knows where my wrenches and simple tools are and knows she is free to borrow them. She knows all
wood no matter what size can be expensive after being told what I paid for some small pieces of ironwood
used for contrast pins. ” I am going to buy another tool.” means I am going to find a used cabinet saw,
shaper, chisel or whatever for next to nothing and spend an hour-day-week-or month taking it apart and
getting it just right for me. She does the same thing with a new drum. We both understand, but some
of our friends just do not have the background to understand either of us. But it does keep us out of most
trouble and off the streetcorners. I am going to play in the shop for a while, could mean I am going to stain
and finish umpteen feet of molding for my ongoing home remodel, or it might mean that one of my grand
children and I will be changing the struts on their vehicle. That is why I have a phone with intercom in the
shop, she can just call me when I do not show up for a meal, or I can call her in her music room to find out
if it is my turn to cook, and I forgot again.

-- As ever, Gus-the 79 yr young apprentice carpenter

View bigblockyeti's profile


5221 posts in 1862 days

#7 posted 01-17-2014 04:51 PM

“I’ll be out in my shop for 15 minutes” Usually means more like 2 1/2 hours, seems like an error off by a factor of ten is usually about right. It does go both ways, if she goes shopping and says “I only spent a few dollars”, that too is usually off by a factor of ten!

-- "Lack of effort will result in failure with amazing predictability" - Me

View Manitario's profile


2631 posts in 3025 days

#8 posted 01-17-2014 04:58 PM

Came home one time to find my pail of purpleheart/walnut/cherry and african hardwood downstairs by the woodstove…I guess my wife thought it was scrap and used a bunch to start a fire…

-- Sometimes the creative process requires foul language. -- Charles Neil

View Vincent Nocito's profile

Vincent Nocito

485 posts in 3506 days

#9 posted 01-17-2014 05:09 PM

I want you to make me XYZ.” In her mind that means ”I will have it in a week at most” In my mind that means ” I will put it on the list at the bottom and perhaps get to it in about 2027.

View DIYaholic's profile


19655 posts in 2817 days

#10 posted 01-17-2014 05:31 PM

Good to hear that the birdseye survived the horrendous trauma!!!

I would have thought a Canadian would respect awesome maple….
I mean just look at your flag!!! ;^)

-- Randy-- I may not be good...but I am slow! If good things come to those who wait.... Why is procrastination a bad thing?

View DocSavage45's profile


8698 posts in 2984 days

#11 posted 01-17-2014 05:32 PM

“What style of furniture do you like?” “I don’t know but I don’t like that.”

In my paying job (when it pays) I work on inter and intra personal communication. “Purple Heart?” Isn’t that for bravery? Birdseye Maple? Poor bird. Experience changes meanings, or adds meaning and depth.

Even what I say to myself? “I wanna!” or “I needa.” ( which gets done first?)

Our spouses care, and want us to be happy. ( Really LOL!) We want the same. If I take some time to listen, look at what she is saying, and be patient with both of us(LOL) Oh yeah not talk through walls! My life is often much better.

Just fully read Gus’ comment. I carry a walkie talkie and a cell phone when working with stuff that can hurt me. I always(almost always LOL) ask “Do you have your Walkie on?”

-- Cau Haus Designs, Thomas J. Tieffenbacher

View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2217 days

#12 posted 01-17-2014 05:37 PM

Manitario – I gasped at your story.

Thanks for the smiles!

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

29864 posts in 2480 days

#13 posted 01-17-2014 08:53 PM

I am not married any more. That should explain her “misunderstanding” of my shop. :-)

-- Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View KayBee's profile


1083 posts in 3388 days

#14 posted 01-17-2014 10:28 PM

Walked into the garage one evening to work on my project, found an entire car engine sitting on the table saw. My ex-husband decided it was the perfect size and height to rebuild an engine. He wouldn’t move it until it was finished either. Then he had the nerve to mention maybe I should sell my table saw because “you never use it anymore.” Guess this is one of the reasons he my ex.

-- Karen - a little bit of stupid goes a long way

View ChuckC's profile


842 posts in 3077 days

#15 posted 01-17-2014 11:25 PM

When I go in the shop at night I’ll say something like; I’ll be outside for a bit. Translation: Good Night….

showing 1 through 15 of 46 replies

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