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Forum topic by dpwalker posted 10-31-2013 05:24 PM 830 views 0 times favorited 5 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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273 posts in 2827 days

10-31-2013 05:24 PM

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6.Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8.The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, some fool who would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court,you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

-- You have not really lived until you do something for someone who can never repay you.

5 replies so far

View CharlieM1958's profile


16274 posts in 4214 days

#1 posted 10-31-2013 05:55 PM

Funny stuff!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View darinS's profile


709 posts in 2863 days

#2 posted 10-31-2013 06:17 PM

16. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

17. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

18. Support bacteria. It’s the only culture some people have.

19. How do you tell when you are out of invisible ink?

20. Just remember – if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

21. Everyone has a photographic memory…..some just don’t have film.

-- They say many people die because of alcohol. They never realized how many of them are born because of it.

View shipwright's profile


7980 posts in 2794 days

#3 posted 10-31-2013 06:27 PM

Number eight is so true when wiring three phase motors.
Don’t ask how I know.

-- Paul M ..............If God wanted us to have fiberglass boats he would have given us fibreglass trees.

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

29222 posts in 2334 days

#4 posted 10-31-2013 07:19 PM

Very cute

-- Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View Bluepine38's profile


3379 posts in 3081 days

#5 posted 11-01-2013 02:04 PM

22. Murphy was an optimist.

-- As ever, Gus-the 79 yr young apprentice carpenter

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