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Forum topic by richgreer posted 10-28-2013 09:56 PM 2246 views 0 times favorited 63 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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4541 posts in 2579 days

10-28-2013 09:56 PM

On at least 90% of my woodworking projects that I do my own thing my own way. I don’t solicit or accept any other opinions on how I should design my projects. That is the way I like it and, pardon my lack of modesty, but I think I am pretty good at it.

Now I am building some mirror frames that will be in OUR house. I’m running into a conflict between me, the woodworker, and my wife, our home’s interior designer. I am not enjoying this.

I will yield to her preference on virtually every decision. This is taking a lot of fun out of this project.

It was probably poor judgment when I said, “Okay, you build them.”

For the record, I love my bride of 42 years very much.

-- Rich, Cedar Rapids, IA - I'm a woodworker. I don't create beauty, I reveal it.

63 replies so far

View Airframer's profile


3043 posts in 1457 days

#1 posted 10-28-2013 09:59 PM

This is how I usually handle that situation..

-- Eric - "I'm getting proficient with these hand jobbers. - BigRedKnothead"

View grizzman's profile


7809 posts in 2808 days

#2 posted 10-28-2013 10:02 PM

yea i would think you would love your bride, but sometimes our different opinions on design and such get in the way, im the kind of guy who likes to do the decore in our home, ive worked really hard building my home and pretty much all of the furniture in it, and im pretty lucky, as my bride of 34 years, lets me do my thing, but im also respectful of her likes and dislikes, we dont clash that much….even though she is in michigan for 2 weeks, i wont go around and change things the way i like…:)) memory is getting bad, did that use to be over there….lol

-- GRIZZMAN ...[''''']

View Texcaster's profile


1152 posts in 1178 days

#3 posted 10-28-2013 10:05 PM

I think the trick is to get her to like your ideas so much, she starts taking all the credit.

-- Mama calls me Texcaster but my real name is Mr. Earl.

View bbc557ci's profile


591 posts in 1578 days

#4 posted 10-28-2013 10:10 PM

two majic words that always work for me and keep the peace ….. yes dear

edit in;;; then generally I do what I want

-- Bill, central where near the "big apple"

View nailbanger2's profile


1041 posts in 2648 days

#5 posted 10-28-2013 10:18 PM

Rich, I feel for you, but where do you think the acronym SWMBO came from?

-- Wish I were Norm's Nephew

View MrRon's profile


3961 posts in 2748 days

#6 posted 10-28-2013 10:33 PM

I too like to design and build it my way, but no matter how good you think you are, there will always be someone who is better. I am never too proud to see the other guys views. Keep an open mind and you may learn something new. At 79, I learn something new every day. When you stop learning, you might as well lay down and die.

View distrbd's profile


2231 posts in 1951 days

#7 posted 10-28-2013 10:46 PM

I most definitely listen to her wishes when it comes to designing furniture for our house,otherwise the house would be a reflection of me and my taste but since she still has to live in it ,then her opinion on the shape,size,design becomes important to me.
The funny thing is we both agree on 99% of what I make but my approach has made her to become my biggest fan and supporter,one point I never ever agree with her on is I like to stain and varnish what I build but she likes to paint them,but even that has not become an issue yet,I let her paint a few things and she lets me stain what I really feel should only be stained.

-- Ken from Ontario, Canada

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Dave G

307 posts in 1553 days

#8 posted 10-28-2013 11:03 PM

I sometimes survive by negotiating “her” stuff and “my” stuff within a project. My (our) latest bathroom project she had the final say on all color. In turn, I had final say on building materials and methods. Draw a line and pick the battles to win a little and stay sane.

-- Dave, New England - “We are made to persist. that's how we find out who we are.” ― Tobias Wolff

View Jofa's profile


272 posts in 1343 days

#9 posted 10-28-2013 11:27 PM

If the wife asks for me to build something I’m just glad she thinks my skills are good enough. LOL!

-- Thank you Lord for the passion and ability to make things from your creation.

View Don W's profile

Don W

18049 posts in 2072 days

#10 posted 10-28-2013 11:30 PM

My wife’s the designer I’m the builder. We often argue about finish though.

-- Master hand plane hoarder. -

View mahdee's profile


3586 posts in 1272 days

#11 posted 10-29-2013 12:00 AM

Heck, the wife is not always right. Do the voodoo that you do well and she’ll come around.


View OldBoatMan's profile


23 posts in 1935 days

#12 posted 10-29-2013 01:00 AM

I’ll bet that if you drove a truck you would drive it your way and wouldn’t ask for, nor accept advice. But when you drive that family sedan—guess where the backseat driver sits. The good news is that you can keep driving and roger up for the advice.

View tturner's profile


62 posts in 1533 days

#13 posted 10-29-2013 01:06 AM

Hi Rich. Nice to hear from you again-even in contest of the current project. I too can relate to your dilemma here. remember to appreciate the woodworking part more than the design part. I went through the same thing and the boss said-you dont have to agree with it; but you have to do it. I have to tell you, that is some great motivation there! She said this for the entertainment center, bedroom floor, kitchen cabinets, landscaping, dresser, bedroom furniture, bathroom cabinets… goes on. Now, I just grovel and mumble in an inaudible tone-yes dear….
I too want to state for the record I love my bride of 10 years!

-- I'm him

View Sandra's profile (online now)


7051 posts in 1580 days

#14 posted 10-29-2013 01:06 AM

Boo! It’s the wife ;)

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View GrandpaLen's profile


1643 posts in 1777 days

#15 posted 10-29-2013 10:28 AM

Yes dear, I could build it that way but, it would require a couple new router bits, a new mortising chisel and that new back saw that I’ve been needing. ;-)

A few years ago her idea garnered my Ridged oscillating spindle sander. :-)

...yep, her way generally includes new tool purchase approval. ...just sayin’ 8-)

Work Safely and have Fun. – Grandpa Len.

-- Mother Nature should be proud of what you've done with her tree. - Len ...just north of a stone's throw from the oHIo, river that is, in So. Indiana.

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