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If your significant other was a wood, what type of wood would he or she be?

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Forum topic by mrjinx007 posted 09-14-2013 02:38 PM 987 views 0 times favorited 26 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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mrjinx007

2116 posts in 648 days


09-14-2013 02:38 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor question

If your significant other was a wood, what type of wood would he or she be?
So, I thought this topic might generate some interesting comments; fun read for the weekend.
I can think of my wife as a walnut. As she ages, she becomes more impressive and valuable. Like a walnut, she hardly ever cracks or warps while seasoning and maintains her pleasant scent. She, like a walnut is pleasant to look at and impossible to go unnoticed. Once cured, it takes a lot of heat and steam to bend (onset of arthritis).

-- earthartandfoods.com


26 replies so far

View Loco's profile

Loco

210 posts in 630 days


#1 posted 09-14-2013 03:29 PM

All I know is they start off like balsa and wind up like ironwood…....too heavy to float.
That’s OK though. You just leave them at a garage sale, move to another country, and start over. ;-)

-- What day is it ? No matter. Ummmm What month is it ? No moron. I paid for a 2 x 6. That means Two inches by six inches. I want the rest of my wood.

View richardwootton's profile

richardwootton

1639 posts in 836 days


#2 posted 09-14-2013 04:16 PM

Curly maple. Beautiful to look at, but sometimes difficult to work with!

-- Richard, Hot Springs, Ar -- Galoot In Training

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

5514 posts in 956 days


#3 posted 09-14-2013 05:08 PM

Good one.

I’m thinking pallet wood. A lot of work to clean up. Not always sure it’s worth the effort :)

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View redSLED's profile

redSLED

778 posts in 773 days


#4 posted 09-14-2013 05:30 PM

1/8 mahogany plywood – real flexible.

-- Perfection is the difference between too much and not enough.

View bigblockyeti's profile

bigblockyeti

2179 posts in 601 days


#5 posted 09-14-2013 05:37 PM

Not sure how to answer this one without getting divorced and kicked off this forum at the same time.

View redSLED's profile

redSLED

778 posts in 773 days


#6 posted 09-14-2013 05:41 PM

Only sometimes she’s a birch.

-- Perfection is the difference between too much and not enough.

View BigYin's profile

BigYin

257 posts in 1297 days


#7 posted 09-14-2013 05:44 PM

My lovely Linda is like Quarter Sawn First Growth English Oak.
Hard as hell, Inflexible and still pretty.
Resistant to bullshit and about everything else.
Takes a good polish.
Prone to leaving splinters if you aint real careful.
Pity about the chip on her shoulder….

-- ... Never Apologise For Being Right ...

View distrbd's profile

distrbd

1515 posts in 1327 days


#8 posted 09-14-2013 06:07 PM

Big Yin,this would be the first time you would have to apologize to her if she happen to read your post,even if you are right.

-- Ken from Ontario, Canada

View BigJerryWayne's profile

BigJerryWayne

137 posts in 983 days


#9 posted 09-14-2013 06:21 PM

+1 on bigblockyeti’s comment.

-- An oak tree is just a nut that stood it's ground.

View tefinn's profile

tefinn

1221 posts in 1318 days


#10 posted 09-14-2013 06:27 PM

Cherry. Beautiful to start with and grows more beautiful with age.

-- Tom Finnigan - Measures? We don't need no stinking measures! - Hmm, maybe thats why my project pieces don't fit.

View BigYin's profile

BigYin

257 posts in 1297 days


#11 posted 09-14-2013 06:38 PM

Distrbd

My Lovely Linda just read my comment and said “Yes dear, thats me… and dont forget it”

-- ... Never Apologise For Being Right ...

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15923 posts in 3099 days


#12 posted 09-14-2013 07:03 PM

Baltic birch plywood: She has many layers, and if you rub her the wrong way too hard, you will expose something you really didn’t want to see.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

5514 posts in 956 days


#13 posted 09-14-2013 08:21 PM

Loving these comments!

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View joeyinsouthaustin's profile

joeyinsouthaustin

1286 posts in 953 days


#14 posted 09-14-2013 10:24 PM

What kinda wood has many great qualities, but tends to get bigger with age?? :)

(no I am not worried about her reading this, she will never be on this site)

-- Who is John Galt?

View kizerpea's profile

kizerpea

746 posts in 1248 days


#15 posted 09-15-2013 12:49 AM

FATWOOD!!!!!! is there such a thing???? yep fatlighter

hope she don’t see this

-- IF YOUR NOT MAKING DUST...YOU ARE COLLECTING IT! SOUTH CAROLINA.

showing 1 through 15 of 26 replies

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