LumberJocks

If your significant other was a wood, what type of wood would he or she be?

  • Advertise with us

« back to Wood & Lumber forum

Forum topic by mrjinx007 posted 313 days ago 862 views 0 times favorited 26 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View mrjinx007's profile

mrjinx007

1315 posts in 365 days


313 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor question

If your significant other was a wood, what type of wood would he or she be?
So, I thought this topic might generate some interesting comments; fun read for the weekend.
I can think of my wife as a walnut. As she ages, she becomes more impressive and valuable. Like a walnut, she hardly ever cracks or warps while seasoning and maintains her pleasant scent. She, like a walnut is pleasant to look at and impossible to go unnoticed. Once cured, it takes a lot of heat and steam to bend (onset of arthritis).

-- earthartandfoods.com


26 replies so far

View Loco's profile

Loco

210 posts in 347 days


#1 posted 313 days ago

All I know is they start off like balsa and wind up like ironwood…....too heavy to float.
That’s OK though. You just leave them at a garage sale, move to another country, and start over. ;-)

-- What day is it ? No matter. Ummmm What month is it ? No moron. I paid for a 2 x 6. That means Two inches by six inches. I want the rest of my wood.

View richardwootton's profile

richardwootton

1081 posts in 553 days


#2 posted 313 days ago

Curly maple. Beautiful to look at, but sometimes difficult to work with!

-- Richard, Hot Springs, Ar -- Galoot In Training

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4131 posts in 673 days


#3 posted 313 days ago

Good one.

I’m thinking pallet wood. A lot of work to clean up. Not always sure it’s worth the effort :)

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View redSLED's profile

redSLED

687 posts in 490 days


#4 posted 313 days ago

1/8 mahogany plywood – real flexible.

-- Perfection is the difference between too much and not enough.

View bigblockyeti's profile

bigblockyeti

1374 posts in 318 days


#5 posted 313 days ago

Not sure how to answer this one without getting divorced and kicked off this forum at the same time.

View redSLED's profile

redSLED

687 posts in 490 days


#6 posted 313 days ago

Only sometimes she’s a birch.

-- Perfection is the difference between too much and not enough.

View BigYin's profile

BigYin

228 posts in 1014 days


#7 posted 313 days ago

My lovely Linda is like Quarter Sawn First Growth English Oak.
Hard as hell, Inflexible and still pretty.
Resistant to bullshit and about everything else.
Takes a good polish.
Prone to leaving splinters if you aint real careful.
Pity about the chip on her shoulder….

-- ... Never Apologise For Being Right ...

View distrbd's profile

distrbd

998 posts in 1044 days


#8 posted 313 days ago

Big Yin,this would be the first time you would have to apologize to her if she happen to read your post,even if you are right.

-- Ken from Ontario

View BigJerryWayne's profile

BigJerryWayne

133 posts in 700 days


#9 posted 313 days ago

+1 on bigblockyeti’s comment.

-- An oak tree is just a nut that stood it's ground.

View tefinn's profile

tefinn

1199 posts in 1035 days


#10 posted 313 days ago

Cherry. Beautiful to start with and grows more beautiful with age.

-- Tom Finnigan - Measures? We don't need no stinking measures! - Hmm, maybe thats why my project pieces don't fit.

View BigYin's profile

BigYin

228 posts in 1014 days


#11 posted 313 days ago

Distrbd

My Lovely Linda just read my comment and said “Yes dear, thats me… and dont forget it”

-- ... Never Apologise For Being Right ...

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15655 posts in 2816 days


#12 posted 313 days ago

Baltic birch plywood: She has many layers, and if you rub her the wrong way too hard, you will expose something you really didn’t want to see.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4131 posts in 673 days


#13 posted 313 days ago

Loving these comments!

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View joeyinsouthaustin's profile

joeyinsouthaustin

1211 posts in 670 days


#14 posted 313 days ago

What kinda wood has many great qualities, but tends to get bigger with age?? :)

(no I am not worried about her reading this, she will never be on this site)

-- Who is John Galt?

View kizerpea's profile

kizerpea

746 posts in 965 days


#15 posted 313 days ago

FATWOOD!!!!!! is there such a thing???? yep fatlighter

hope she don’t see this

-- IF YOUR NOT MAKING DUST...YOU ARE COLLECTING IT! SOUTH CAROLINA.

showing 1 through 15 of 26 replies

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

GardenTenders.com :: gardening showcase