The sentence you would hate to hear from your spouse.

instead of one crib we wil be needing two.

-- Roper - master of sawdust-

I prefer women?

-- - Real men read directions

get out!

Let’s do something together.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke".

Did you forget to take out the garbage this morning?

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

You don’t mind if I park my car in here, do you?

-- Eric at http://adventuresinwoodworking.com

Are you ever going to come out of the shop, and work on your Honey-Do list, its been months now?

-- //FC - Round Rock, TX - "Experience is what you get just after you need it"

Honey? I’m home!

-- bbqKing, Lawrenceville

that crib comment scares me. Twins run in my wife’s family and she is due in May

I have twins tooldad. They are just over 1. Cate and Caleb. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Be prepared to be tired my friend!

-- No Farmers = No Food

You’re not going to leave it like that are you?

-- My favorite piece is my last one, my best piece is my next one.

I know I agreed to that color but now that I’m looking at it…...............

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

Promise you won’t get mad when I tell you this.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

nice one odie…

“Remember that women’s retreat I mentioned 6 months ago…its next weekend—-I bought extra wipes and diapers cuz ruthie may need em.”

-- Matt, Napa, CA...119 days to sanity...

you need to turn off that lumberjocks site right now and give me attention!!

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

my inlaws are coming this week, and they are staying here.

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

Thats nice dear…what color are you going to paint it?

-- Greg - Charles Town, WV

Did you really need all those little stick pieces, I used them to start the fireplace.

-- Greg - Charles Town, WV

You guys must have married the wrong woman, mine is perfect.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

She comes home from shopping, bags hanging all over, car still full…

“Guess how much I saved today!”

-- Rich, WNY, www.nyrockingchairs.com

“Wouldn’t the sofa look better over there, and the TV over here?”

-- Maplewood, MN

Sweetie, you know that project youhave been working on……...well……...

I think I would like you to paint it white.

b.b.b.b.but….I used birds eye maple!!!

-- Scott in Texas

I can’t believe your forgot our anniversary!

-- http://www.woodsongsfurniture.com

This one is causing me to leave this weekend, Napaman:

“My sister is going to be staying with us this weekend.”

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke".

“I want a new kitchen now!!!!”

We bought a new kitchen that weekend. To be fair it was our first house, major fixer-upper with massive insect infestation, etc.

-- Rich, WNY, www.nyrockingchairs.com

No more tools right!!!!!

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

Your bag needs washing.

-- ??? My mistakes heat the house. It's very warm in here. ???

You can use the saw when I’m done…

-- Never board, always knotty, lots of growth rings

“Look… I painted it!”

-- Check out my new website! http://www.theeasellife.com

Let me show you what I found at the furniture store, I’m sure you could make it cheaper!

-- Don, Pittsburgh

“You’re going to have to choose between me and your workshop!!”

I sure would miss her.

-- Garyb6, “Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler” - Albert Einstein

You guys are killing me.. At least no ones wifey has said “My boy friend really likes your new table saw and wants to know if ok to use your tools next week while you are out of town’.

Are you crazy… no . stay out of the shop.

-- Smile. Life can be FUN!

I’ve got this really good idea for the living room/backyard/office/bed room

-- A man who moves mountains starts one stone at a time.

I was watching HGTV today and …....

-- A man who moves mountains starts one stone at a time.

It shoudn’t take to long.

-- A man who moves mountains starts one stone at a time.

I my mom bought a new thing today and need you to pick it up after work.

-- A man who moves mountains starts one stone at a time.

I’m back!

(ex-wife)

The edge broke off your silly Japanese chisel when I was using it to pry rocks from my garden.

-- Randy (P), rustic wood crafts, Morning View, Kentucky

“I want my car in the garage this winter.”

-- Brian, Lebanon PA, If you aren’t having fun doing it, find something else to do.

Pointing at new tool

“When did you get that?”

Unwrapping UPS box.

“What’s this?”

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

hehe I’ll add one for Rick:

”I was thinking…”

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

Keep the tool in the woodshop.

-- Matt, Napa, CA...119 days to sanity...

“Sure, honey, I’ll hold your beer…”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

“Oh, okay. I’ll just call my Dad to come and fix it…”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

”...well I needed it to open the can of paint!”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

”...well I bet my sister’s husband could fix it…”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

“Wait. How does it go? Lefty loosey…No wait….”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

(Walking into the house…)

“Hey Chris, when I came in, I saw that the fuse box was opened, and one of the breakers must have tripped. I turned it back on. Aren’t you proud of me?

Chris?

CHRIS?

CHRIS?!”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

”...well when I was in shop class…”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

“Well…... I took the time to figure out how much each of your projects cost each, compared to the tools you’ve bought in the past year, and right now, they’re running around $300 each…...... ALL 10 OF THEM”

-- Make things with wood.

“Look. The dog got sick, and it was everywhere. I was not about to use my good hoover vac to clean it up. That Festool-shop-vac-thingy was the next best thing.”

”!@#$%^&*”

“No! You can clean it out! Its your Festool-thingy…”

-- christopheralan http://www.projectwoodworks.com

I am going with you then next time you want to buy any tools.

-- Brian, Lebanon PA, If you aren’t having fun doing it, find something else to do.

You can just use MDF.

-- Brian, Lebanon PA, If you aren’t having fun doing it, find something else to do.

I got this phone call tonight on the was home from picking up our son-

Her- “I think I broke my saw”
Me- “what do you mean you broke you saw”
Her- ” I was cutting and it stopped, I let it cool down and then it came back on and it died again”
Me- “Leave it alone, I will look at it when I get home”
Her- “Ok, but I think I messed it up”

When I got home, it still won’t come on, not even after hitting the fuse/reset on the scroll saw.

Arrrrggggg…...............

-- Adrian ..... The 11th Commandment...."Thou Shalt Not Buy A Wobble Dado"

“I don’t care what you think, I want it painted this color.”

-- Brian, Lebanon PA, If you aren’t having fun doing it, find something else to do.

“Just knock that wall out.”

-- DocK, WV

“you know, I’m really liking this new chrome and acrylic furniture they’ve come out with.”

-- Tim -- http://tmuli.com

“That green color is too green…......I want to change to this green…..............ah no , this green…......”

guess what? I left it the first color green…...............heheheheheheh

-- A man can never have enough tools

That lumberjocks site is addicting…...........get off now, you been on way too long…......

-- A man can never have enough tools

Are you on lumberjocks again????????

-- A man can never have enough tools

Don’t you go to the computer room tonight. I know you…......You’ll be on lj’s for hours…..........

-- A man can never have enough tools

on her return from visiting Sister in Santa Barbara . . .

Her – What the h. . . did you do?

Me – Well you know that tile that fell out of the shower? Well I went to replace it and it’s really hard to find that kind of tile, did you know that? and before I knew what was happening the whole bathroom was just studs. and. . .

BTW, I hope you like Maple :)

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

I bought you this “cool new tool” from QVC today.

Note: This actualy happend … we were moving in to our first house, and I need to paint the bedrooms. The tool was a big roller that you poured about a quart of paint into, and closed up.
The darn thing was very heavy, and had a low spot in the nap that left a line. I painted about 3 sq feet, and told her to retun it.

Scott good one!

” I figured you were to busy for new projects and we needed a place to put things so I picked this up from Target today and need you to put it together”

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

my brother in law said a 25 year sentence would be best sentence or his wife.Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

Scotsman, along those line, about 7 years ago (around our 25th wedding anniversary), my dear Father In Law said to me “Bruce, if you had just taken the sentence instead of marrying my daughter, you would be out on good behavior by now.” We both laughed. I love that man almost as much as his daughter.

-- Smile. Life can be FUN!

You know, your son….well he wants to be your daughter.

I think that would top them all.

Happy Thanksgiving

-- The only easy wood project is a fire

“I just grabbed the last Sierra Nevada…”

-- Matt, Napa, CA...119 days to sanity...

I don’t want Maple anymore… How about cherry?

-- Ned - 2B1ASK1 http://nedswoodshop.blogspot.com

There is a craft show in November. Make some boxes.

I found a few cute little boxes in the thrift shop, carve something in them or spruce them up a bit and I’ll put them in the craft show also.

So little time.

-- Measure once cut twice....oh wait....ooops.

Our neighbor needs help, her boyfriend is not handy and she needs a gate. And you know that roll of fence in the garage, she needs some of that, can you put that up also. And she bought some deadbolts can you install those for her, (she just bought that house in August) she wants to get that some before her party next Saturday.

Gee that gives me 6 days. along with the stuff I am doing already.

-- Measure once cut twice....oh wait....ooops.

My mother loved that china hutch you made me so much, I told her you would make her one.

-- Daddy always said, "Try not to bleed on the wood."

“sweetie are you sure that’s going to fit through the door?” ... had she not mentioned it when she did (while there was still plenty of time for easy corrections) it would have been 1 1/2 inches too big to go thru the shop doors …I knew that lasik surgery would pay off

-- Ray,VA

speaking the “promise” of “death do us part” and living to the point where the promise becomes a “goal”

“Am I getting fat”

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

Roman,

It’s ” Do I look fatter in this?” (catch 22) Napaman, does anyone east of us know what a Sierra Nevada is?

The one thing she will never forget at Christmas (bless her for this one). ” You said a man can never have too many clamps.”

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke".

LOL, these are fantastic, but I have to give it to Ms Debbie as just about all the others can begin with….” was just thinking and…..”

-- Jim Hallada, Chesterfield, VA

I want to redo the my studio.

remove TONs of scrapbocking stuff, remove a framed in closet, repaint room, new laminate floor, 3 book cases and 3 tables/desks later.

I’m mid way throiugh the bookcases.

-- Days in the shop don't count toward the total.

Is epoxy permanent?

-- "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Can you stop buying wood for now?

-- "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." ~ Edgar Allan Poe

While you were at work, Mother moved in with us! We did it all ourselves! Well, all except the bed and dressers and heavy stuff. I told her that you could go get all that tonight. She’s going to stay in the room all your tools are in so you’ll have to move them out. Oh, and we put your beer cooler outside because we couldn’t find any other place to put it. Mom thinks you drink too much anyhow. Mom really likes you. Aren’t you just so excited?! Oh, and she’ll need you to paint her room and add a closet and I think you could build an alcove for her potty chair to give her a little more privacy. I told her you’ll dump the bucket before you go to work so she’ll not have to. Oh, and she’s brought her cats too. You’ll need to make some litter boxes for them.

Where are you going with that hammer?

-- Bob Vila would be so proud of you!

Actually happened:

Came home one day: “Look hon, mom and I cleaned out the new office and moved all your counter laminate material into the basement for you.”

It had been sandwiched between 1/4” plywood leaning against the wall in the soon-to-be-office as it acclimated to the house. Moving it they each took an end (of 12’ laminate) and manuevered it out into the yard, down through the bilco door and steps and leaned it against whatever wall they could, flat or not, they chipped almost every factory edge…

-- Rich, WNY, www.nyrockingchairs.com