|Forum topic by longgone||posted 03-06-2013 01:33 AM||1303 views||0 times favorited||20 replies|
03-06-2013 01:33 AM
Cowboy rules for:
Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, Louisiana, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana,
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot!
4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar?
9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season.
10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the ; Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won’t get it, but we’re friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
And there is
The COWBOY Solution ;
OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of
The best way to stop using so much
That would be 15 million less people
When they catch an illegal immigrant
Tell him if he wants to come to
Give him a soldier’s pay while he’s
After his tour, he will be allowed to
If they refuse to serve, ship them to
If you think this is a good solution
I just did…........