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Forum topic by longgone posted 03-06-2013 01:33 AM 1508 views 0 times favorited 20 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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5688 posts in 3332 days

03-06-2013 01:33 AM

Cowboy rules for:

Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, Louisiana, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana,
Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Nevada, Northern California and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot!
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re still gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar?
It’s available at the corner bait shop.

9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season.
It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the ; Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won’t get it, but we’re friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!

And there is

The COWBOY Solution ;
to save Gasoline.

OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of
gasoline we use…..

The best way to stop using so much
gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!

That would be 15 million less people
using our gas.
The price of gas would
come down…..
Bring our troops home
from Afghanistan to guard the borders…..

When they catch an illegal immigrant
crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to ;
Afghanistan ….

Tell him if he wants to come to
AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military….

Give him a soldier’s pay while he’s
there and tax him on it…...

After his tour, he will be allowed to
become a citizen since he defended this country…..
He will also be registered to be taxed
and be a legal resident…..
This option will probably deter illegal
immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens ;
trying to make a better life for themselves. .......

If they refuse to serve, ship them to
Afghanistan anyway, ;without the canteen, rifle or ammo.

Problem solved…...

If you think this is a good solution
to both the problems, post it to your friends…........

I just did…........

20 replies so far

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

29386 posts in 2362 days

#1 posted 03-06-2013 02:22 AM

I agree with your position. That’s one of the reasons neither of us will ever get elected to public office. That and the fact I have several friends that would sell me out to gossip magazines. :-)

-- Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View woodbutcherbynight's profile


4838 posts in 2433 days

#2 posted 03-06-2013 02:35 AM

I like the illegal immigrant solution, works for me.

In my unfinished science fiction novel Politics is considered a disease by other races of beings….......(laughing)

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View GrandpaLen's profile


1650 posts in 2296 days

#3 posted 03-06-2013 02:48 AM

...yep, my sentiments exactly, y’all.

Iraq & Afghanistan, ...that must be some tough duty, at least in Vietnam about half of the enemy wore identifiable uniforms.

Work Safely and have Fun. – Grandpa Len

-- Mother Nature should be proud of what you've done with her tree. - Len ...just north of a stone's throw from the oHIo, river that is, in So. Indiana.

View Bearpie's profile


2601 posts in 3042 days

#4 posted 03-06-2013 02:54 AM

Right on!

-- Erwin, Jacksonville, FL

View JollyGreen67's profile


1676 posts in 2787 days

#5 posted 03-06-2013 03:40 AM

I totally agree with all above – except – Chili is spelled with an E !

-- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . . . . this CRAP is not what I expected !

View oldnovice's profile


6896 posts in 3392 days

#6 posted 03-06-2013 03:59 AM

Your gas saving idea won’t work … less demand = higher prices.

We, the U.S., is now the largest oil producer in the world and our prices are still higher than Saudi Arabia, Iran, Venezuala, Mexico, and many other places … go figure.

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

View Woodwrecker's profile


4153 posts in 3599 days

#7 posted 03-06-2013 04:11 AM


-- Eric, central Florida / Utor praemia operibus duris

View RetiredCoastie's profile


999 posts in 3207 days

#8 posted 03-06-2013 04:21 AM

I completely agree Greg! Too bad our politicians don’t see it the same way but then their spines are made of rubber! HOOK EM HORNS

-- Proud Supporter of Homes For Our Troops

View LittlePaw's profile


1571 posts in 3102 days

#9 posted 03-06-2013 04:57 AM

How would you like to move into the WH, Greg? I like the reasoning behind the way you solve problems – simple and effective. :D

-- LittlePAW - The sweetest sound in my shop, next to Mozart, is what a hand plane makes slicing a ribbon.

View prattman's profile


445 posts in 2141 days

#10 posted 03-06-2013 05:29 AM


-- Everyone calls me Ed or Eddie , mom still calls me Edward if she is mad at me.

View Howie's profile


2656 posts in 2947 days

#11 posted 03-06-2013 12:19 PM

Amen to these.
Good post

-- Life is good.

View Roger's profile


20928 posts in 2828 days

#12 posted 03-06-2013 01:23 PM

AMEN. Greg for President

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

View WoodenFrog's profile


2737 posts in 2937 days

#13 posted 03-07-2013 12:59 AM

The only part I do not agree with is this!

“We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!”

Come on Gold Star and Skyline serve pretty good Chili Dogs!
I love good ‘ole Texas chili too.. But when you come from ‘round here, We like our Cincinnati Favorites!

-- Robert B. Sabina, Ohio.....

View JollyGreen67's profile


1676 posts in 2787 days

#14 posted 03-07-2013 01:57 AM

Hey – Somebody else don’t know how to spell CHILE !

-- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . . . . this CRAP is not what I expected !

View tefinn's profile


1222 posts in 2461 days

#15 posted 03-07-2013 03:26 AM

Chili vs. Chile ( from Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

chili noun \ˈchi-lē\

Definition of CHILI

a : a hot pepper of any of a group of cultivars (Capsicum annuum annuum group longum) noted for their pungency —called also chili pepper
b usually chilli plural chillies also chil·lis chiefly British : a pepper whether hot or sweet
a : a thick sauce of meat and chilies
b : chili con carne

Chi·le geographical name

Definition of CHILE

country S S. America between the Andes & the Pacific; a republic ∗ Santiago area 292,257 square miles (756,946 square kilometers), pop 15,116,435
— Chil·ean adjective or noun

And I’m with you Greg! Even though I’m from NJ! :)

-- Tom Finnigan - Measures? We don't need no stinking measures! - Hmm, maybe thats why my project pieces don't fit.

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