Sunday Funnies…

Is that jellied whoop ass or plain whoop ass?

ROTFLMAO!

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

Looks S&M to me.
Latex
Satin
Debased
Superior (and NOT mother)

Lee

-- No piece is cut too short. It was meant for a smaller project.

I buy miy pain by the gallon. More bang for the buck.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

not just pain SUPER PAIN

-- DocK, WV

What else do you use it for? It says it provides superior protection.

-- My favorite piece is my last one, my best piece is my next one.

Yeah, Doc now with Kryptonite added, for ultimate suffering (just ask Wesley/The Dread Pirate Roberts)…

Lee, I won’t tell if you won’t.

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

New motto.. Our pain will suit you to a T.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

I don’t have to buy pain. I wake up with it. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Grumpy, I resemble that remark.

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

I dare everyone to a fun contest

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

I’m not impressed at all. I have an ex-wife.

-- There's no tool like an old tool...

Sometimes my wife wakes up grumpy

& sometimes she lets me sleep. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

my wife makes me do everything ! >grinz<

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

25 year warranty on the super pain? – I guess you’d need a LOT of Asprin to even make a dent in it.

-- I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso -- http://snbcreative.wordpress.com/

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

oh welll … I like to have FUN !

this is my son in 1985

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

I’ll see your can of paint and raise you two kids…

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

Painting leather. And you thought painting walnut was bad…;^D

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve
It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S.
Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and
child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It
Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A
husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it’ll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – create jobs
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who
lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting
back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of
trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is
being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U
S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.” But can you imagine the
Coast-To-Coast Block Party!
How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We
Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington
DC.

And remember, The Birk plan only reallycosts $59.5 Billion because $25.5
Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Birk
T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it’s either good for a
laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85
Billion!!

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

Ooops….85,000,000,000 / 200,000,000 is only $425 not $425,000.00 ...nice try…try another…

whoops !

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read ’$10,000 per call’.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by, what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

‘O.K., thank you,’ said the American.

He then travelled all across America, Europe, England, Japan, New Zealand…
In every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same ’$US10,000 per call’ sign under it.

The American decided to travel to Australia to see if Australians had the same phone.

He arrived at Sydney, NSW, in Australia and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read ‘40 cents per call.’

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. ‘Father, I’ve travelled all over the world and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?’

The priest smiled and answered, ‘You’re in Australia now, son – it’s a local call’.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol- Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke- Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup- Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil- Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation –
What did you learn from this demonstration???

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

’As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’

That pretty much ended the service

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com