LAWS OF LIFE

First Law Of Wood Working- Every new project requires at least one new tool.

Dan;

Have you been watching me?

Very funny, and sad at the same time.

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

Murphy’s law. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Happens to me all the time.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

The law that says “perception is reality”- If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, makes a mess like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s a duck.

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

The abstract law of availability….Which explains why seafood cost more the closer you get to the ocean.

-- miles125, Alabama.."Architecture is frozen music""

Law of plumbing… call the man, or try to do it myself until it becomes an emergency… then call the man.

-- My favorite piece is my last one, my best piece is my next one.

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

Law of Miscut Pieces: The ONLY reason this occurrs is because you forgot to take into consideration the Curvature of The Earth.

I cling to this law.

”Nothing is impossible for those who don’t have to do it themselves”

-- Bob Vila would be so proud of you!

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

FOLLOW THE LEADER LAW.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

Nicked Chin Law: The size of the gash you suffer while shaving will be in direct proportion to the importance of the event you attend that day.

It’s Your Fault Law no matter what happened, the wife says it’s your fault.

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws

1.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

4.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

6.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

7.
The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

mrtrim, I love your Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws they rear their head at such inopportune times.

Never take a knife to a gun fight.

-- Only the Shadow knows....................

If it smells like crap, looks like crap ... it usually is..

-- making sawdust....

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

Some police quotes
“The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”

“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

“So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”

“Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”

“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

“Life’s tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.”

“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

“Just how big were those two beers?

“In God we trust, all others are suspects.”

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

Murphy was an optimist

-- Ciao, gth.

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com