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Forum topic by stefang posted 01-12-2013 07:18 PM 2763 views 0 times favorited 23 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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15881 posts in 3328 days

01-12-2013 07:18 PM

Man: Hi Birchy, I’ve been keeping an eye on you for some time now and I think you have a lot of potential.

Tree: Oh, that’s nice. What do you have in mind?

Man: Well, I’m thinking that your destiny is indoors, out of all this cold weather and having a more purposeful life. Now that you are almost fully grown I think more responsibility and a promotion is in order.

Tree: Gee, that sounds swell. I thought I would spend my life out here in the garden. It’s very nice in the spring and summer, but it does get pretty cold and uncomfortable out her in the fall and winter.

Man: Exactly! That’s what I want to save you from. The temperature is always just right indoors. You will love it!

Tree: How do you plan to go about it? Will you keep me well watered in a big planter box or something?

Man: Er, I’m thinking of other solutions, which would eliminate you aging. Forever young as they say, ha ha.

Tree: That sounds wonderful. I have always hoped that I would have a happy future and also be useful. What is your plan?

Man: Firstly I think that a big change like I’m talking about will require that you are in the best of condition before
making the move. You’ve been standing here a long time and I believe it would be good for you to lie down awhile and get some well earned rest first.

Tree: Yes, but wouldn’t that be difficult with my roots holding on so well to the soil and of course bending that far is out of the question!

Man: That’s true, but I have a technique that will overcome all those problems.

Tree: Are you sure it will work?

Man: Why of course. It’s a common practice that’s been going on for thousands of years.

Tree: Well then, I’ve nothing to worry about. There’s no doubt in my mind that you know what you are talking

Man: No, no doubt at all.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

23 replies so far

View patron's profile


13603 posts in 3335 days

#1 posted 01-12-2013 07:23 PM

and 200,000 popsicle sticks later ….....

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

29216 posts in 2332 days

#2 posted 01-12-2013 07:30 PM

And I thought I was the only one that talks to the trees. Although some of my conversations are not quite that pleasant :-)

-- Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View Roger's profile


20928 posts in 2798 days

#3 posted 01-12-2013 07:31 PM

LOL-patron. and, Thnx Mike. Now every time I cut a board in half, I’m gonna feel a tree’s pain. My only wish is that anyone/everyone, who works with wood, plants as many trees as they are able. I have, and will continue to plant trees wherever I am able.

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4170 posts in 3158 days

#4 posted 01-12-2013 07:42 PM

Long winters and…........akvavit….......yes, I thought I recognized the literary style.

Wine instills a similar cadence to the speech….I might know about that…......(-:

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View cosmicturner's profile


403 posts in 3389 days

#5 posted 01-12-2013 07:48 PM

Thanks for sharing that with us Mike hope all is well with you in Norway I like birchy it turns pretty good

-- Cosmicturner

View a1Jim's profile


117086 posts in 3571 days

#6 posted 01-12-2013 07:50 PM

Mike what kind of medication are you on ? Trees don’t talk, Do they ? :))

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

View stefang's profile


15881 posts in 3328 days

#7 posted 01-12-2013 08:31 PM

Well fellas many thanks for just replying to this post. As Jim deduced it is cold at 19 below freezing and I was having a small before dinner brandy and got bored, so I thought you guys should be bored as well (for support purposes). It was just a small brandy, consider yourselves lucky that it wasn’t larger. Now, is anyone in the market for popsicle sticks?

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View sras's profile


4795 posts in 3123 days

#8 posted 01-12-2013 08:40 PM

Great story Mike – now we need some pictures and chapter 2!!

-- Steve - Impatience is Expensive

View stefang's profile


15881 posts in 3328 days

#9 posted 01-12-2013 08:47 PM

Ah yes, chapter two, THE ABDUCTION. Sorry Steve, no more episodes while I am negotiating with HBO for the TV rights.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View daltxguy's profile


1373 posts in 3908 days

#10 posted 01-12-2013 09:30 PM

Imagine if forestry companies had to have this conversation with every tree they cut down – would we treat the forests differently?

I know I have this conversation with every tree – and I usually do not suggest the final solution – I am more like a Dr.Kavorkian and I make the tree sign some papers first and I make sure that I am convinced that it is suffering. So, mainly I only take out trees which have been pre-selected by the wind, lightening..or beavers.

For Birchy is a living being and you do well to have a conversation with it first, my friend.

-- If you can't joint it, bead it!

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18266 posts in 3670 days

#11 posted 01-13-2013 03:28 AM

Did you tell Birchy he is headed for the tooth pick factory?

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View stefang's profile


15881 posts in 3328 days

#12 posted 01-13-2013 12:39 PM

Trees are wonderful in life and in death. The Daily Mail U.K. had an article featuring some fantastic black and white photos of the Los Angeles area, probably from a helicopter, but at a low angle. The pictures were beautifully done, but what struck me most was the great abundance of trees throughout the metropolitan area and beyond. There were a lot of trees there when we moved to Norway, but now they appear much larger, more mature and a whole lot more of them. I was very happy to see this. Most of the trees where I live are smallish and twisted by the almost contestant winds we have here so near to the North Sea.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View helluvawreck's profile


31019 posts in 2860 days

#13 posted 01-13-2013 01:50 PM

Good one, Mike. What’s the temperature over there and how much snow are is on the ground. I saw a picture that you posted of your shop and looked it like you could hardly even get in the door because of the snow.

helluvawreck aka Charles

-- helluvawreck aka Charles,

View stefang's profile


15881 posts in 3328 days

#14 posted 01-13-2013 02:17 PM

Hi Charles. It warmed up a lot overnight from 18 below to13 below now. I took these photos of our garden this morning and you can compare with the snow dump we experience before Christmas (now gone) in the second photo. The 1st pic is just frost and the 3rd is the way I prefer it, more like Georgia I imagine. The tallest tree, on the left at the end of the garden is Birchy. I’ve been keeping an eye on him for the last 12 years. The tracks in the frost on pic #1 are from my wife’s trek to feed the birds. They are so use to her that they don’t even fly away anymore when she comes with the food.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Dave's profile


11429 posts in 2834 days

#15 posted 01-14-2013 12:26 AM

Mike I was hanging on the edge of my seat.
Awaiting on the next installment.

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are."

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