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Forum topic by Grumpy posted 447 days ago 3668 views 1 time favorited 480 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


447 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: cowasaki

OK jocks, there is now a new vehicle that needs no gas, it produces it’s own gas (methane) which can be recycled, also used as a fertiliser plant a milk vending machine & a ride for the kids.

It’s called a Cowasaki
Cowasaki

LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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lew

4485 posts in 649 days


447 days ago

OOOHHH, Grumpy.

But at least you’ll be safe in an earthquake. You know what they say- “we bulls wobble but we don’t fall down”

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mski

360 posts in 874 days


447 days ago

Grumpy we need to get that Cow in this , you know got to get there faster!

http://www.woodmagazine.com/community/a-240-mph-car-made-of-wood/

-- MARK IN BOB, So. CAL

View ChicoWoodnut's profile

ChicoWoodnut

895 posts in 709 days


447 days ago

Glad I’m from California. We only have happy cows here.

If your not from North America you might not understand this one.

So here’s one for the other side of the pond.

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

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trifern

7894 posts in 661 days


447 days ago

I’m not sure I can turn one of these Grumpy, no bull.

-- My favorite piece is my last one, my best piece is my next one.

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PurpLev

2745 posts in 542 days


447 days ago

how many HP…err…. I mean Cow Power does this thing have?

-- When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


447 days ago

LOL…

Sooo… if you wreck your Cowasaki, does that make it an UDDER disaster?

I guess most standard models are equipped with not just one, but two horns?...

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Karson

25792 posts in 1294 days


447 days ago

That’s bad Grumpy.

-- What happens in the workshop stays in the workshop. No wait that doesn't sound right. Karson Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


447 days ago

Thank you Karson. Glad you liked it. Will have to dig another one up just for you.
Steve, you won’t be able to catch this one it’s ”past-your-eyesd. Won’t even have time to turn the siren on. LOL
Purplev, 1 cow power of course.
Trifern, you can dry out the paddies & try turning them. Let me know when you do it I wan’t to watch.
Brilliant Chicko, brilliant.
Mski, I got my copy of wood mag this week, thats a great car alright gut it’;s no match for the Cowasaki.
No bull Lew, no bull.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


447 days ago

Grumpy… LOL…!!

It must be so fast that no one can Tail-Gate it, huh?

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Bob #2

3037 posts in 916 days


447 days ago

Chico, those ads are pretty cheezy ;-)

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

View odie's profile

odie

1601 posts in 734 days


446 days ago

Here’s the new energy source Al Gore is creating. It’s moo-va-lus …....

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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MsDebbieP

14156 posts in 1055 days


446 days ago

not sure if I should groan or roll on the floor laughing!
ok.. I’m rolling on the floor laughing :)

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

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Dick, & Barb Cain

7036 posts in 1193 days


446 days ago

My cow has MOO! power than your cow.

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1

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Zuki

1229 posts in 971 days


446 days ago

Lots of time on your hands Grumpy?? :-)

-- The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


446 days ago

THIS JOKE HAS REACHED NEW HEIGHTS, IT’S OVER THE MOON
Cowasaki

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


446 days ago

OK, Grumpy… now you’re just milking the joke…. LOL

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


446 days ago

PULL THE UDDER ONE STEVE

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


446 days ago

You’re still chewing the Cud, but I think you’ll be Hoofing it to the next joke before long… lol….

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


446 days ago

I think you’re right, there’s no cream left in this one.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


446 days ago

LOL…

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Lee A. Jesberger

3710 posts in 873 days


443 days ago

Man, you guys have problems! lol

These jokes are all pretty cheesey.

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

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CelticDreamer

35 posts in 548 days


443 days ago

But you have to admit they are pretty amooooosing!

-- last night I played a blank tape at full volume - the mime next door went nuts!

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CharlieM1958

7622 posts in 1112 days


442 days ago

I’m pretty sure the folks from PETA are going to have a beef with this topic.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


442 days ago

Charlie, now you have the tail waging.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


442 days ago

someone should invent diapers for cows that extracts methane, .... compress it, .... and drop it on the ground in pill form … . farmers could pick them up and send them to Washington. Candidates could use it to power their soapboxes !


-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


442 days ago

Dan, you could call them moo poo boxes, or perhaps Pill Boxes. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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scottb

3402 posts in 1221 days


442 days ago

Yeah, but the cows belch methane,... Happy cows don’t wear diapers on their face…. that would be udderly ridiculous!

-- I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso -- http://blanchardcreative.etsy.com -- http://snbcreative.wordpress.com/

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


442 days ago

Scott, you have me speechless but I will think of something on the hoof.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


442 days ago

never stand behind a cow with a lit match ! I think it comes out both ends ….

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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scottb

3402 posts in 1221 days


442 days ago

was surprised as well myself – something I heard on TV last night…. (BBC) – QI, with Steven Fry, he’s one erudite dude.

-- I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso -- http://blanchardcreative.etsy.com -- http://snbcreative.wordpress.com/

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alain

57 posts in 442 days


442 days ago

somebody ever calculate the volume of methane that cows “blow” for day, week, month, year… !!!!!
enormous and then they want we beleived in any responsability in the ozone hole !
Right Dan we coulld plumb the cow ass and produce a true legal car combustible, better than alcool, pipe builder will be happy

-- http://freewebs.com/linse_alain

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


442 days ago

Imagine the pipework you would need.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


441 days ago

my patent pending cow-methane-diaper-thoughts were:

something like a nano-technology plastic injection molded device similar in nature to Coalescer or gas filter with self optimizing exhaust settings. Perhaps several of them in a circular pattern.

... may need a little testing >>>> evil squinty grin <<<< !!!!




-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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ChicoWoodnut

895 posts in 709 days


441 days ago

Ha!

Here is an interesting article if you care to read it. It is actually somewhere along the lines of this topic.

Just to whet your appetite, it has something to do with bras and kinetic energy.

http://green.msn.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx?bid=499&GT1=45002

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


441 days ago

Funny story Scott … kinetic energy electricity driven by flopping jogger boobs

my cow pie idea is wind powered

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


441 days ago

Dan, I could put my bull with your cow & we could have lots of cowasakis.
Bull

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


440 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


440 days ago

Brilliant idea Dan. We should go into business & save the planet.
Cow-007

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


440 days ago

this one is sick humor …

I recommend NOT reading it ….

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


440 days ago

Sick allright.
Cow-004

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View ChicoWoodnut's profile

ChicoWoodnut

895 posts in 709 days


440 days ago

You have discovered our secret. Somebody will pay dearly for this.

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


440 days ago

Holy Cow, I think you are right.
Cow-006

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


440 days ago

perhaps there are other alternative fuels ….


-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


440 days ago

I will see what I can sniff out.
Cow-002

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


439 days ago

Photobucket

another sicko … oh well

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


439 days ago

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, ‘I was artificially inseminated this morning.’ ‘I don’t believe you,’ says Dolly. ‘It’s true; no bull!’ exclaims Daisy.

Cow-005 Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


439 days ago

Cows are everywhere

Photobucket Image Hosting

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


439 days ago

How’s this for cow power
Cow-001 Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


439 days ago

Here’s the vintage model….

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


438 days ago

cow lick

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


438 days ago

Here a some moo shoes to go with the Cow-a-Socky
Moo Shoe

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


438 days ago

Cow lickin good.
Cow Licking Dog

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


438 days ago

have you ever looked into a cows eyes ? what do you see ?

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


438 days ago

A good lookin Bull
Bull

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


438 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


437 days ago

This one is a bit on the nose….......
Cow A Lickin

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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cabinetmaster

8533 posts in 452 days


437 days ago

Holy Cow. What a bunch of jokers. I just love this. Keep it up Grumpy.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


437 days ago

Photobucket

I’m thinking licking noses is something cows like to do

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


437 days ago

I just found a new source of fuel. Cow lickin good.
Dung-1

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


437 days ago

Well Grumpy, this is my formal apology… apparently all the BULL in this thread has more methane in it than I previously predicted… lol

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


437 days ago

Steve, that was a real blast
Dung-02

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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cabinetmaster

8533 posts in 452 days


437 days ago

Man o man Steve, a guy would lose a lot of hair by standing behind one of those Blasts…...............................roflmao. You guys are hill air we us.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


436 days ago

Photobucket

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


436 days ago

I think the cows are worried about all this attention
Cow

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


436 days ago

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

View SteveKorz's profile

SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


436 days ago

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

View SteveKorz's profile

SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


436 days ago

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


436 days ago

Unbelievable source of information Steve. I really got a blast out of that one.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


436 days ago

I like the sneakers he put on the front feet of the cow… lol

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


436 days ago

This rancher got BOARD when he was milking…. (yeah, I know, that one was bad…. lol)

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


436 days ago

First cow in space. This Cow-stronaut was propelled by natural gas. Lots of it.
Moon Cow

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


436 days ago

Collecting fuel for the Cow-stronaut flight.
Collecting Dung

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


435 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


435 days ago

Dan, that one’s stretching it a bit. LOL
Uber Cow

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


435 days ago

back on topic .... cows have lots of gas

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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SteveKorz

2030 posts in 608 days


435 days ago

How swiss cheese is made…..

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


435 days ago

My cow is spaced out or maybe lost in space. There might be an orbital milking machine up there
space

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


435 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


435 days ago

Holy cow Steve, thats a big moo
Holey Cow

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


435 days ago

You’re not chickening out are you Dan
Cow &amp; Chicken

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


435 days ago

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


435 days ago

Ahhhhhhhhh thats the spirit.
Whoops I think my cow is getting horny
Horny

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


433 days ago

Climbing cow.
Climbing

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


433 days ago

Biggest rocket ever, the JUMBO ROCKET.

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


430 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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ChicoWoodnut

895 posts in 709 days


430 days ago

That’s the scariest one yet Dan.

Yikes!

-- Scott - Chico California http://chicowoodnut.home.comcast.net

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


430 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


430 days ago

Hey Warthogs are a funny subject too !

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


430 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


430 days ago

Dan, thats freaky stuff & Odie there’s a strange wiff in the air
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


429 days ago

Back at you Grumpy with one of my favorite photos.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


429 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


429 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


429 days ago

YOU BOYS ARE REACHING FOR THE SKY WITH THOSE POSTS
Photobucket
LOOK OUT FOR FLYING ELEPHANT FUEL.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


429 days ago

I gave the wifey a wood rolling pin for Christmas

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


428 days ago

Photobucket

had a bit of flooding here in the states

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View kolwdwrkr's profile

kolwdwrkr

2249 posts in 484 days


428 days ago

maybe not related but funny. LOL
<div>Bambee! | Funny Jokes at JibJab</div>

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


427 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


427 days ago

You boys leave my all cut up.
Spiral Cow

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


427 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


427 days ago

What’s in that drink. My cow is almost legless.
Genetics

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


426 days ago

YOU COULD CATCH A TRAIN.
Train Gang

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


426 days ago

OK

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


426 days ago

ODIE, THAT ONE MADE ME LEGLESS
Wheelbarrow

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


426 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


426 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View odie's profile

odie

1601 posts in 734 days


425 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


425 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


425 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


425 days ago

Photobucket

...

...

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View odie's profile

odie

1601 posts in 734 days


425 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


425 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View odie's profile

odie

1601 posts in 734 days


424 days ago

This topic makes me smile.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


424 days ago

ME TOO
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


424 days ago

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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


424 days ago

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-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


423 days ago

Speaking of GAS and COWS

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


423 days ago

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-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


422 days ago

SOCK IT TO EM’
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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


422 days ago

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-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


421 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


420 days ago

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


420 days ago

I KNOW YOU DID
Back Pain

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


420 days ago

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


419 days ago

This is HORSE POWER

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


419 days ago

WHAT’S HAPPENED TO YOUR PHOTO DAN. ARE YOU ON SOME YOUTH DRUG?
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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


419 days ago

wonder why Peggy changed my avatar to my son Nate ? hmmmmm the plot thickens …..

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


418 days ago

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


418 days ago

HOLD ON TO THOSE DOLLARS. THINGS MIGHT JUST BURST.
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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


418 days ago

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-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


418 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


418 days ago

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-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


417 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


417 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


417 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


416 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


416 days ago

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


416 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


416 days ago

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-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


415 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


415 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


415 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


414 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


414 days ago

PhotobucketPhotobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


414 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


414 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


414 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


414 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


413 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


413 days ago

GAS ?

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


413 days ago

DID YOU SAY GAS?
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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


412 days ago

Found a website that debates kangaroo and cow farts ,,,, link to article ..... another link ... this one in Ireland website

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


411 days ago

AHHHHHHH!, THE AIR IS VERY CLEAN DOWN HERE
kangaroo-01

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


405 days ago

Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


405 days ago

dont fart Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


405 days ago

fart Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


405 days ago

Photobucket
....
Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


403 days ago

Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


403 days ago

funny Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


403 days ago

the History of the Middle Finger
Well, now…...here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the a ct of drawing the longbow was known as ‘plucking the yew’ (or ‘pluck yew’).
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction w ith the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ‘giving the bird.’
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing. Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


402 days ago

WISCONSIN RAPIDS, Wis. – Sure, gas prices have come down lately. But to 34.9 cents a gallon? That’s what Kelly Joosten and dozens of other motorists paid at a Citgo station Monday. The sign advertised $3.43 for a gallon of premium fuel, but the pump cost read $0.349 a gallon.

“That was amazing,” said Joosten, who normally spends about $100 to fill up her 1998 Ford Expedition.

Joosten proudly showed off her receipt for 25.36 gallons at $8.85. She said she saw other motorists filling gas cans, too, at the discounted price.

Station owner JP Raval says the attendant on duty couldn’t figure out why the station was suddenly so busy.

Raval estimated 30 to 40 customers fueled up at the incorrect price — between 200 and 300 gallons worth — for about 90 minutes.

“People kept coming, so fast,” Raval said. “Everything was crowded; it was like a fairground.”

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


402 days ago

DAN, there was a lot of plucking in that battle. The English were heavily outnumbered by the French but the French got bogged down in the mud in their heavy armour & much plucking was done by the English.

Try singing this one fast THE PHEASANT PLUCKER’S SONG
Me husband is a keeper, he’s a very busy man,
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I’d rather pluck with him.

I’m not the pheasant plucker,
I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate
And I’m only plucking pheasants
Cause the pheasant plucker’s late.

I’m not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I’d much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven’t any grease.

I’m not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I’m sitting here with piles.

You have to pluck them fresh, if they’re fresh it’s not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday ‘tween the first and second lessons.

I’m not the pheasant plucker,
I’m the pheasant plucker’s son,
And I’m only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant pluckers come.

My good friend Godfrey’s most adept, he’s really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It’s really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.

I’m not the pheasant plucker,
I’m the pheasant plucker’s friend,
And I’m only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.

Me husband’s in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I’ve fluff in all me crannies and there’s feathers up me nose,
And I’m itchin’ in the kitchen’ from me head down to me toes.

I’m not the pheasant plucker,
I’m the pheasant plucker’s wife,
And when we pluck together
It’s a pheasant plucking life!

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


396 days ago

Price of gas in France

A thief in Paris planned to steal some

Paintings from the Louvre

Photobucket

After careful planning, he got past security,
Stole the paintings, and made it safely to his
Van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away
When his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime
And then make such an obvious error, he replied,
‘Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings’

Photobucket

I had no Monet

Photobucket

to buy Degas

Photobucket

to make the Van Gogh.’

Photobucket

See if you have De Gaulle to send
This on to someone else. Photobucket

I sent it to you because I figured
I had nothing Toulouse.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


396 days ago

Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


392 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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MacTownFish

17 posts in 409 days


392 days ago

The funniest things don’t have to be made up…

Photobucket

-- Daddy always said, "Try not to bleed on the wood."

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


392 days ago

Cool truck

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


392 days ago

Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


391 days ago

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the

house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to

break something, but the boy continues.

‘Johnny!’ Mom screams. ‘Knock it off.’ You’re going to break something.

He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping

center.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the

store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he

leaves it.

Mom comes in and while put ting away the groceries gets the urge, A

diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH,

out it comes.

When she’s finished, she looks down and can’t believe what she’s seeing.

She’s not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her

doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he

assures her he’ll be over shohtly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his

knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out

his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The

balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

‘Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?’ she asks.

He says, ‘I’ve been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the

first time I’ve ever actually seen a fart !’

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


391 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


391 days ago

Nursery Rhyme Num #1

It’s Raining, It’s Pouring
Oh sh!t, it’s Global Warming.
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


391 days ago

Nursery Rhyme Num #2
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


391 days ago

Nursery Rhyme Num #3
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it’s black and crispy.
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


390 days ago

Go to electionprojection.com

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Allison

652 posts in 693 days


389 days ago

You guys are a riot! Another great thread here at LJ’s! Even tho it got off of cows a bit I do have to agree with chicowoodnut, being from california and all. We do have happy cows here.

-- Allison, Northeastern Ca. Remember, Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic!

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


387 days ago

Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


387 days ago

Yep I failed. Does that mean I’m not dumb. Duhhhhhhhh!

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


387 days ago

New form of street drag racing, really saves on gas.
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


385 days ago

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


384 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


382 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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jim1953

1601 posts in 736 days


382 days ago

Eat more beans thats how you save gas

-- Jim, Kentucky

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


382 days ago

Hey Jim … maybe that’s how they do it in Kentucky, butt up here in Ohio we do it in a more clever way ....

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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jim1953

1601 posts in 736 days


382 days ago

DAN WHAT IS MORE CLEVER

-- Jim, Kentucky

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


382 days ago

Photobucket
Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


381 days ago

HUH!

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


378 days ago

Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


377 days ago

HOLY COW
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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


377 days ago

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


377 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


376 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


376 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


375 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


375 days ago

PhotobucketPhotobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


375 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


374 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


373 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


372 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


371 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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dustygirl

767 posts in 622 days


371 days ago

Great thread.I’m ROTFLMAO.

-- Dustygirl..Hastings,Ontario.. How much wood can 1 gal chuck if 1 gal can't cut wood?

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woodturnersupply

24 posts in 372 days


371 days ago

What a great thread… LOL

-- Christina, British Columbia, Canada http://www.woodturnersupply.wordpress.com

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


371 days ago

Odie, that koala is a bit truncated

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


371 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Thos. Angle

4013 posts in 856 days


371 days ago

You guys are a little rough on us cow-men.

Last fall two cows met in the sale yard at Vale, Oregon. One was a pretty, slick, fat Hereford cow and the other looked like a cowhide throwed over a hat rack.The skinny cow walked over to the fat one and asked,”Agnes, how was yer summer?” “Ah gosh, Effie,” she replied, “It was just great. I was up in the top of the Blue Mountains, grass up to my belly, a bunch of the best ol’ girls fer company and the best looking ol’ Hereford bull ya ever did see. Agnes, how was yer summer?”
“Ah heck, Agnes, I was stuck out in Harney County, 10 miles to water, eat all day and never get enough to eat, dust blowing all the time and all I had fer company was one old steer and all he wanted to talk about was HIS OPERATION!

-- Thos. Angle

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


371 days ago

Tom, looks like that bull is getting his revenge.

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


371 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


365 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


364 days ago

Are you ready for this?

Photobucket

It’s a Smorvette

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


363 days ago

a smorsche
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


363 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


363 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


362 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


361 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


361 days ago

Photobucket

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


361 days ago

A SMAUDI
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


361 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


360 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


360 days ago

A SmamborghiniPhotobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


360 days ago

How about fish power?

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


358 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


358 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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pommy

954 posts in 585 days


358 days ago

For you grumpy

mary had a little
pig she couldnt stop it grunting
she took it round a little hill
and kicked its f#king c#t in

mary had a little bike
she rode across the grass
everytime the wheel went round
a spoke went up her arse

ps sorry if i upset anyone just the english sense of humour

-- cut it saw it scrap it

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


358 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


357 days ago

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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


357 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


357 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


356 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


356 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


355 days ago
















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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


355 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


352 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


351 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


351 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


347 days ago

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his
Window.
The bee said, ‘What seems to be the problem?’
‘I’m out of gas,’ the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away.
Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew
To his car and into his gas tank.
After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
‘Try it now,’ said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. ’
Wow!’ the man exclaimed, ‘what did you put in my gas tank’?

The bee answered,

Wait for it..wait for it…...
You’re just gonna love this…

Photobucket;Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


347 days ago

another kind of BP

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MattH

23 posts in 532 days


347 days ago

What do you call an explosive consumed by a male bovine

Abominable

What describes the situation after the bomb goes off?

Noble.

-- Death before dishonour; nothing before coffee

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


346 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


344 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


344 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


343 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


343 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


343 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


343 days ago

















-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


342 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


341 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


341 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


337 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


334 days ago


-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


332 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


332 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


328 days ago

Grumpy, this way I get to mix our two topics.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


328 days ago

ODIE, MY KANGAROO IS CONFUSED. IS THAT A COW OR A DOG?.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


327 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


326 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


319 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


309 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


309 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


309 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


309 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


306 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


306 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


305 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


303 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


303 days ago





-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


301 days ago

Gas saver Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


300 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


300 days ago

Photobucket

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


299 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


273 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


272 days ago

Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


265 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


264 days ago

Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


264 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


255 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


255 days ago

Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


255 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


254 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


253 days ago

This is cute… don’t do anything just watch.

You have to wait a few moments before it starts. Just sit back and enjoy, no scrolling no clicking….






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JPBatts

38 posts in 271 days


250 days ago

I was just a cow before I read all of those offensive cartoons. All of that disprespect has left me a

-- If she asks please tell my wife that I can sell my tools for what I paid, okay?

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


250 days ago

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-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


246 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


245 days ago

Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


245 days ago











-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


243 days ago









-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


239 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


239 days ago

Hey Grumpy

Is that a self portrait ?

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


239 days ago

NOT THAT COLD OVER HERE YET DAN

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


239 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


238 days ago

fart Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


238 days ago









-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


236 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


235 days ago

gas Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


235 days ago

Gas Prices Pictures, Images and Photos

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


235 days ago

gas Pictures, Images and Photos

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


233 days ago

gas Pictures, Images and Photos

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


233 days ago

Funny Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


227 days ago









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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


227 days ago



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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


226 days ago

got gas Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


226 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


225 days ago

funny Pictures, Images and Photos

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


225 days ago





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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


224 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


224 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


224 days ago

gas funny Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


223 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


222 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


222 days ago





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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


221 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


221 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


221 days ago







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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


214 days ago

Microbe-powered ‘fart’ machine stores energy
Could improve fuel cell technology by turning CO2 into methane
http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/090423_Discovery_fart-machine.hmedium.jpg

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30372491/



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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


214 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


214 days ago





















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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


214 days ago



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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


213 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


213 days ago

I smell something !



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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


213 days ago

gas funny Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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FEDSAWDAVE

321 posts in 326 days


213 days ago

Holy crap….now this is one useless thread…but I love it !!

(must figure out how to post pics so I can show those Lumber dudes a thing or two)

-- http://www.federalsaw.com

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


211 days ago



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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


211 days ago

gas funny Pictures, Images and Photos

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


211 days ago



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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


210 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


210 days ago

Photobucket

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


206 days ago

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


206 days ago

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


205 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


201 days ago

gas funny Pictures, Images and Photos

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


200 days ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAqPMJFaEdY

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


200 days ago












found a goofy website … check it out http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130142.html

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


200 days ago









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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


200 days ago

gas funny Pictures, Images and Photos

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


199 days ago




MERRILL, Wis. – Mark Krombholz had to look twice at his new calf, Lucy — one time for each nose. “I didn’t notice anything too different about her until I got her in the barn,” Krombholz said, “and all of a sudden I went to feed her a bottle of milk, and I thought maybe she’d been kicked in the nose and there were two noses there.”

The second, smaller nose sits on top of the first.

“It’s a functioning nose because the middle of her second nose, the flap would go in and out when she drank out of the bottle like that,” Krombholz said. “It was kind of funny.”

Breeder Scott Grund said Lucy’s noses seem to be working fine.

“It looked like she was comfortable laying there in her bedding and breathing and spunky just like you want to see,” Grund said. “It’s just that she’s got two noses.”

That kind of rare deformity is usually not the result of genetics, he said. But breeders do track such mutations.

“We’ll fill out a form, send that on to the company in Shawano and they will keep record of it,” Grund said. “If by chance this would occur more than a few times, they would start looking at maybe the sire that we’re using.”

Krombholz said Lucy, who was born May 4, will be a pet and bred if she’s able.



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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


199 days ago

Dan, is that a ‘PiggyCalf’, ‘CalfyPig’, ‘CowPig’, ‘PorkyBovine’ or ‘BoveyPorky’?. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


199 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


198 days ago

Click Here
The Odds
Ever wondered….

Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1

Odds that an American adult does not want to live to age 120 under any circumstances: 3 to 2

Odds of injury from fireworks: 19,556 to 1

Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1

Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1

Odds of injury from mowing the lawn: 3,623 to 1

Odds of fatally slipping in bath or shower: 2,232 to 1

Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1

Odds of being killed on a 5-mile bus trip: 500,000,000 to 1

Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1

Odds of being killed in any sort of non-transportation accident: 69 to 1

Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1

Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1

Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1

Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1

Odds of being the victim of serious crime in your lifetime: 20 to 1

Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1

Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1

Odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years: 1.3 to 1

Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1

Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1

Odds of being born a twin in North America: 90 to 1

Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1

Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1

Odds of having your identity stolen: 200 to 1

Odds of dating a millionaire: 215 to 1

Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1

Odds of writing a New York Times best seller: 220 to 1

Odds of finding out your child is a genius: 250 to 1

Odds of catching a ball at a major league ballgame: 563 to 1

Odds of becoming a pro athlete: 22,000 to 1

Odds of finding a four-leaf clover on first try: 10,000 to 1

Odds of a person in the military winning the Medal of Honor: 11,000 to 1

Odds of winning an Academy Award: 11,500 to 1

Odds of striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow: 60,000 to 1

Odds of getting a royal flush in poker on first five cards dealt: 649,740 to 1

Odds of spotting a UFO today: 3,000,000 to 1

Odds of becoming president: 10,000,000 to 1

Odds of winning the California lottery: 13,000,000 to 1

Odds of becoming a saint: 20,000,000 to 1

Odds of a meteor landing on your house: 182,138,880,000,000 to 1

Chance of an American home having at least one container of ice cream in the freezer: 9 in 10.

Chance of dying from any kind of injury during the next year: 1 in 1,820

Chance of dying from intentional self-harm: 1 in 9,380

Chance of dying from an assault: 1 in 16,421

Chance of dying from a car accident: 1 in 18,585

Chance of dying from any kind of fall: 1 in 20,666

Chance of dying from accidental drowning: 1 in 79,065

Chance of dying from exposure to smoke, fire, and flames: 1 in 81,524

Chance of dying in an explosion: 1 in 107,787

Chance that Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years: 1 in 5,000

Chance of dying in such a collision: 1 in 20,000

Chance of dying from exposure to forces of nature (heat, cold, lightning, earthquake, flood): 1 in 225,107

Chance of dying in an airplane accident: 1 in 354,319

Chance of dying from choking on food: 1 in 370,035

Chance of dying in a terrorist attack while visiting a foreign country: 1 in 650,000

Chance of dying in a fireworks accident: 1 in 1,000,000

Chance of dying from overexertion, travel or privation: 1 in 1,428,377

Chance of dying from food poisoning: 1 in 3,000,000

Chance of dying from legal execution: 1 in 3,441,325

Chance of dying from contact with hot tap water: 1 in 5,005,564

Chance of dying from parts falling off an airplane: 1 in 10,000,000

Chance of dying from ignition or melting of nightwear: 1 in 30,589,556

Chance of dying from being bitten by a dog: 1 in 700,000

Chance of dying from contact with a venomous animal or plant: 1 in 3,441,325

Chance of dying from being bitten or struck by mammals (other than dogs or humans): 1 in 4,235,477

Chance of dying from a mountain lion attack in California: 1 in 32,000,000

Chance of dying from a shark attack: 1 in 300,000,000

Chance of having a stroke: 1 in 6

Chance of dying from heart disease: 1 in 3

Chance of getting arthritis: 1 in 7

Chance of suffering from asthma or allergy diseases: 1 in 6

Chance of getting the flu this year: 1 in 10

Chance of developing schizophrenia: 1 in 00

Chance of contracting the human version of mad cow disease: 1 in 40,000,000

Chance of dying from SARS in the United States: 1 in 100,000,000

Chance of American man developing cancer in his lifetime: 1 in 2

Chance of an American woman developing cancer in her lifetime: 1 in 3

Chance of getting prostate cancer: 1 in 6

Chance of getting breast cancer: 1 in 9

Chance of getting colon / rectal cancer: 1 in 26

Chance of beating pancreatic or liver cancer: 1 in 9

Chance of beating thyroid or testicular cancer: 9 in 10

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


198 days ago

STRANGE FACTS ON FARTS

Where does fart gas come from?

The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

What is fart gas made of?

The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of boring, inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn’t have time to absorb the oxygen.
Encyclopaedia Britannica offers the intriguing statement that some people’s farts contain no methane. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the anomaly is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.

What makes farts stink?

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and skatole in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and skatole will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why do farts make noise?

The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus.

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?

On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.
Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

How does a fart travel to the anus?

One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids, and should therefore travel upwards.
The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus. Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won’t get very far due to the complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying down.

How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else’s nose?

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity and wind speed, as well as the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.
Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

Is it true that some people never fart?

No, not if they’re alive. People even fart shortly after death.

Do even movie stars fart?

Yes, of course. So do grandmothers, priests, kings, presidents, opera singers, beauty queens, and nuns. Even Yoda farts.

Do men fart more than women?

No, women fart just as much as men. It’s just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.
I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?

A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as “morning thunder,” and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.

Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?

Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas!
Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins.
A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog’s digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog’s bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.

What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?

People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don’t. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.

Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?

No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.

Is it harmful to hold in farts?

There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for peoples’ health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.

How long would it be possible to not fart?

As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans-Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake!

Where do farts go when you hold them in?

How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it?
I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it?
The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later.
It is reassuring to know that such farts aren’t really lost, just delayed.

Is it really possible to ignite farts?

The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is not more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice.
There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.

Why is possible to burn farts?

Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.)
Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.

Is it possible to light a match with a fart?

No, even strike-anywhere matches have their limits, unless the fart has the consistency of sandpaper! Any fart that rough I would hesitate to call a fart. Also, farts have the same temperature as the body from which they emerge, and aren’t hot enough to initiate combustion.

Are there any books about farting?

There are several! My favorite is the new book, Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson. This book provides an entertaining and thought-provoking history of the fart in literature, language and society. It is very informative and very funny!
Ben Franklin’s classic Fart Proudly is still in print.
There is a collection of suggestive photographs called Who Farted Now? by St. Martin’s Press. Most of the photos come from old movies and political shots.
For children, we have the famous The Gas We Pass : The Story of Farts by Shinta Cho, and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum (Translator), and the Canadian picture book, Good Families Don’t , by Alan Daniel and Robert N. Munsch, about a highly visible fart infesting a proper middle class family.

Is it possible for a talented person to earn a living through flatulence?

Few people earn their living directly via flatulence. But a friend of mine says that he saw a carnival act in which the performer whistled tunes with his farts, blew out candles on the opposite side of the stage, and sent flames all the way across the stage. A famous performer who earned his living this way was Le Petomane, who performed in France at the beginning of the 20th Century. However, my friend isn’t old enough to have seen Le Petomane, so maybe he had a chance to see Mr. Methane. Mr. Methane lays claim to the distinction of being the world’s only performing flatulist.
However, people may also earn a living through the prevention of flatulence (as do the manufacturers and sellers of Beano and other products), through the practice of medicine specializing in the treatment of flatulence and other gastrointestinal problems, by writing books about flatulence (see the question before this one), and through the production and sales of various fart gags such as whoopee cushions and farts in a can.
Fartypants sells a fart filter and a number of other fart-related products.
Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to find a copy of Le Petomane’s biography by searching at alibris by clicking on the link below. Last time I checked, they had two copies available!

Why do dog and cat farts smell so bad?

A carnivore’s protein-rich diet produces relatively small amounts of intensely stinky gas because proteins contain lots of sulfur. A dog’s or cat’s farts are rarely audible, but the odor is overwhelming. I have asked biologists why dogs and cats generally fart silently, and their theories include: (1) the amount of gas produced is small, but potent, (2) the horizontal orientation of their gastrointestinal system puts less pressure on the anal opening, so the gas is expelled more slowly, (3) their anal sphincters don’t close as tightly as humans’ because it takes less force to hold in the contents of the colon—again because of the horizontal orientation of the gastrointestinal system—and a loose anus makes less sound, and, my favorite (4) dogs and cats don’t feel embarrassed about farting, so their sphincters are more relaxed, leading to less noisy flatulence.
Mike F. points out that many dog foods are soy-based, so on top of all the above factors, add beans and stand back!
Large herbivorous animals such as cows, horses and elephants, on the other hand, produce vast quantities of relatively non-stinky fart gas. The farts of these animals are noisy and can go on for astoundingly long periods of time. Cows in particular are productive, in part because they swallow huge amounts of air. They need oxygen in their guts for the various protozoa employed there as digestive aids.

Do fish fart?

According to our ichthyologist at the University of Guam, fish flatulence per se has not been studied, although people have investigated fish digestion. They find that although most fish have alkaline intestinal environments like our own, coral-eating fish have acidic intestinal contents. The acid serves to dissolve coral skeletal material. Coral has the same composition as Tums (calcium carbonate). One product of the reaction between acid and calcium carbonate is carbon dioxide gas. Therefore, it is logical to assume that coral-eating fish fart a lot.
The other fish probably fart also, for the same reasons that we do.
However, Mike Pulte, a great fish enthusiast, said that he has never seen a fish do it.
I asked our ichthyologist if it were possible that fish gas would go into the swim bladder instead of out the anal opening. He said that modern fish have an air bladder that is independent of the gastrointestinal tract. The gas comes from enzymatic activity and not from the intestine. Older models of fish have their swim bladder connected to the gastrointestinal tract, but it is attached high up, closer to the mouth than to the other end, and these fish come to the surface and gulp air to fill the bladder. Therefore, we can assume that intestinal gas leaves the fish through the anal opening.
We also pondered the possibility of fish making noise via flatulence, but apparently most fish noises are made through belching rather than farting.
Lisa P., an aquarium enthusiast, reports that she has seen her fish fart: “I have four aquariums and many fish, and I have personally witnessed fish farting! My goldfish used to do it all the time! You’d see a little bubble come out of his anus and stay there, trapped in the mucus of a long string of poop. (Ugh!) And my opaline gourami does it too. Neither of these are coral-eating fish. I have only owned two coral-eating fish so far, but I have never seen either of them fart. It seems most likely to me that much of this gas comes from air swallowed during eating. Also, goldfish have a very simple digestive system and their food is absorbed inefficiently, so possibly the bacteria have more to feed on?”

Do turtles fart?

Yes, turtles do fart, and their farts smell incredibly bad, as do the farts of snakes. In fact, it is my opinion, based on personal experience with reptiles and not on any formal research, that many reptiles use farts as a weapon.
Reptile farts smell so bad that sometimes you can tell that one is nearby in the woods, even on a windy day, before you can see the animal. One day I was hiking through the woods in Arkansas with a friend and I told my friend, “I smell a snake fart.” A second later, the snake crawled across the path. Astounding but true!

What kind of animal has the highest worldwide output of flatulence?

Believe it or not, the animal that wins this honor is the humble termite. Because of their diet and digestive processes (with more than the usual microbial assistance), they produce as much methane as human industry. Termite farts are believed to be a major contributor towards global warming.

Is there any kind of animal that doesn’t fart?

If we define a fart to be an anal escape of intestinal gas, then it follows that animals that lack intestines or an anus cannot fart. Most animals possess intestines and an anus, but there are some that don’t. These include:
Sponges: These organisms lack true tissues and organs. They have just a few types of cells organized into a bag with holes in it. Water flows into some holes and out other holes. Sponges are so different from other animals that some biologists think we shouldn’t even call them animals.
Cnidaria: This phylum includes the jellyfish, corals, sea anemones and hydra. Their tissues are organized into a bag with a mouth surrounded by stinging tentacles. Food enters the mouth and is digested inside the bag, after which the leftovers are expelled via the same opening. In effect, the same hole serves as both a mouth and an anus. Any gas expelled by a cnidarian would be more appropriately termed a belch rather than a fart, since the animal lacks intestines and separate anus.
Pogonophoran worms: These remarkable animals, who dwell on the sea floor near active volcanic regions associated with mid-ocean ridges, possess no mouth, no stomach, no intestines, and no anus. Apparently they retain their svelte, worm-shaped figures by giving up on eating completely! They survive by means of a mutualistic relationship with chemosynthetic bacteria that live in their flesh. Anyway, these animals cannot possibly fart.

A second category of animals that probably don’t fart are animals that live very deep underwater. At high pressures, gas remains in solution rather than forming bubbles. So there is a good chance that all those clams, echinoderms, fish and other animals living near the sealer don’t fart because their farts stay in solution and never emerge as bubbles, even though the animals possess perfectly good intestines and anuses.

Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?

Judging from what I see when I do the laundry, I’d say that the answer to the first question is definitely yes.
As for the causes, we must remember that what we call “fart” and what we call “poop” are just end-members of a continuum. That is, we can have a pure fart, or a pure poop, or anything in-between, depending upon the admixture of the two.
If a sample consists mostly of poop with only a small fart component, you get such things as jet-propelled bowel movements and spongy, floating fecal masses (you know, the ones that refuse to be flushed down the toilet—they keep popping back up).
If the sample consists mostly of fart with only a small poop component, you get what is known as “skid marks” or “fart art.” These can also result from inadequate wiping, but the shape of the stain is different in the two cases. Inadequate wiping leads to elongate marks parallel to one’s crack, usually with well-defined edges, whereas fart art is generally more circular and has an air-brushed look.
Fart art is most likely to occur if (1) a person is suffering from diarrhea, (2) the person is trying too hard to fart, and (3) the person mistakenly perceives the pressure against his sphincter to be gas pressure rather than liquid pressure. Again, that last situation is most likely to occur if the person is afflicted with diarrhea.

How can we tell when it’s only gas needing to come out, rather than something more serious?

Our ability to distinguish between the need to fart and the need to poop is something that we learn gradually in the process of toilet training and early childhood. With the tactile nerve endings in the rectal area, we can actually feel different sensations depending upon what is waiting by the exit. Of course, sometimes we are fooled, especially if the substance at hand is extremely fluid in nature, and that is when we have the unfortunate accident of venting a squirt of diarrhea rather than an innocent fart.

Why do chicks always deny farting?

I suppose I should start by saying that only some chicks deny farting. The rest of us acknowledge our gaseous accomplishments with pride.
However, a great many sisters do deny farting. The reason is that they have been misled into thinking that farts are not ladylike. It is a great mistake to say that farting is not ladylike. The reason is that all people fart, including ladies. Anything that ladies do is by definition ladylike, and that includes the emission of anal gases.

Is is possible that, by inhaling other people’s farts all day long, my own farts will smell more?

No, inhaled farts would go into the lungs rather than into the digestive system, and would simply be exhaled again, although it might be possible that some of the fart components might be absorbed into the blood. If you wanted to benefit from other people’s farts in the way you describe, you would have to swallow them somehow.

Is it possible to get stoned after inhaling two or three farts in a row?

I am not aware of any intoxicating agents in flatulence. However, most farts contain very little oxygen, and you may experience dizziness if you are inhaling overly concentrated fart essence, simply from lack of oxygen. On the other hand, if you are inhaling farts in the open air and are breathing rapidly in order to inhale as much fart as possible, you may be hyperventilating, which also induces dizziness.

Then there is the intrinsic hilarity factor: farts are so funny in both sound and odor that you might feel high just from the basic entertainment value of farts.

Is it possible for a fart to kill you?

A great many of you have asked if farts can be fatal, or if you can die from smelling a particularly bad fart. My initial response to this question was “no,” but I thought I’d better ask a doctor. So now it is official, the medical opinion I received is no, a fart can’t kill you.
However, if you really work hard at it, you can manage to kill yourself with just about anything. I recently read of a man who hooked up his nose to his anus with a system involving a gas mask, rubber tubing and a hollow wooden post. He died of suffocation. This story comes from the Darwin Awards, and I personally cannot attest to the overall veracity of their stories.
The story of the bed-bound obese man who died from inhaling his own flatulence (and whose farts almost killed the paramedics) is an urban legend that has been in circulation for some time.

Can excessive farting cause impotence?

That depends on the tolerance level of the person with whom one is trying to be potent!
Fortunately for humans, farting doesn’t cause tissue damage. Other animals aren’t so lucky. Soldier termites can actually turn themselves into bombs by detonating themselves via the explosive release of gas and feces, a process called “autothysis.”

Is it possible to inhale (suck in air) via one’s anal opening?

Yes, but it’s a rare talent. The great early 20th Century French flatulist, Le Petomane, was able to do this, and in fact was able to suck up an entire bowlful of water (just the water, not the bowl) into his colon and expel it again with considerable force. By sucking in large quantities of air, he was able to perform lengthy shows on stage, and could imitate musical instruments, farm animals, and bird songs, whistle melodies, and play the ocarina. His productions were said to be virtually odorless, which is to be expected from air obtained directly from the outside.
Here is a message I received recently (November, 1999) regarding the skill of inhaling via the anus:

“i would just like you to know that i am part of a trio, who can suck in air in our anal openings. we are somewhat air-bandits. we can let the longest farts you have ever heard. our record holder, chad, stands at 24 sec. the record for most farts in a row is derek, at 492. and i, robert, have earned such nicknames as: Mad Crapper, gurglemeister, and old wetful. We have followed Le Petomane example, and have mastered the art of farting.”

What causes the burning sensation that sometimes accompanies a fart?

This is generally caused by a recent meal of hot peppers or related spices. The oils associated with these foods remain intact and active all the way through one’s gastrointestinal system.

If you fart in the bathtub, is the water polluted and should you refill the tub?

As long as what comes out is only fart and no poop, your bath water should not be significantly polluted. Most of the gas just bubbles up and contaminates the air rather than the water.

Is it true that a woman can fart out of her, shall we say, frontal opening, and if so, where does the gas come from?

Yes, it is true! The gas that emerges is simply trapped air, for there is no gas production in the genitalia of a woman. The air can enter because the system is open to the outside. This highly specialized kind of fart is sometimes called a queef.

Can a man fart out of his genital opening?

I have asked various men this question and they all deny it emphatically.

Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use?

It should be theoretically possible to do this, but there would be lots of logistical problems. I would suggest using a plastic bag instead of a jar. You might try the following as a science fair experiment:
Fart into several plastic bags and seal them carefully. Then fill several other plastic bags with ordinary air. Wait 24 hours. Then get volunteers to smell the contents of the bags to see if they can correctly identify which ones contain the farts. This should tell you if it is possible to store a fart in any useful way.

Malachi and Megaera have come up with a way to capture a fart in a jar. They say to do it in the bathtub while bathing. Fill the jar with bath water and then hold it with the open end downward. Lean back in the bathtub so that your fart bubbles will emerge in front of you rather than behind you where you can’t see them. Catch the bubbles in the jar, and put the lid on the jar while it’s still underwater. This way, you capture a fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air. To enjoy your captured fart to the fullest extent, make sure that your jar does not already smell like whatever was it it before, like pickles or peanut butter.

Is it weird to enjoy farting?

It is not unusual to enjoy farting. I believe that enjoyment of farting is a healthy attitude, since everyone has to fart. If a person is farting to the extent that it creates problems and unhappiness, then a visit to a doctor is in order.

What color is a fart?

Farts are, alas, colorless. All of the gases that make up farts have no inherent color. But just think of how interesting it would be if farts were bright orange like nitrogen dioxide gas! It would certainly take the mystery out of who farted.
Never-the-less, a high-personality gas like fart gas suggests color to people. Some people envision farts as brown, others as green or yellow. I have always thought of farts as brown, presumably because poop is brown. When someone farts in our car, that person might say, “You better not breathe through your mouth for awhile, or your teeth will turn brown.”
I knew a toddler who used to draw pictures of farts as yellow rectangles full of holes, like a slice of Swiss cheese. She thought of farts as yellow, and said that she knew they were rectangular because she could feel the sharp corners scraping against her on the way out!

Do other people smell a fart better than the farter?

The fart should smell just as much for the person who created it as it does for other people. However, the farter is somewhat protected by having the fart propelled away from his body in a direction opposite to his nose. Farting upwind nullifies this advantage.

Why is it that when you scratch your ass through two layers of clothing (your underwear and your jeans) your fingers still stink?

As pointed out by Barb F., who contributed the term listed below, a fart can be regarded as “aerosolized poop,” which means that microscopic fragments and droplets of poop are actually distributed throughout the gaseous matrix of the fart. When delivered from the anus with some force, the components of the fart can penetrate one’s clothing and these tiny particles can be trapped in the fibers of the cloth. The particles are transferred to your fingers and then your nose when you scratch and sniff.

Where does the word “fart” come from?

According to Eric Partridge in his excellent book of word origins (Origins: A Short Etymological Dictionary of Modern English), our word fart comes from the Old English word feortan, presumably of echoic origin, meaning that the word was chosen to sound like the object named.

When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

Now, that’s an interesting idea! My guess would be yes, since farts are nice and moist like our breath, but this is one question that I’m not in a position to answer. I live in the tropics, and it never gets cold here. So all of you who live in cold places, try it out and let me know. I’d guess that there are really two questions here: can you see the fart with no pants on, and can you see the fart even with pants on…

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


198 days ago

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station.

They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it.

“Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace” said the younger of the two.
“Take us to your leader.”

The gas pump (of course) didn’t respond.

The younger alien looked cross, and the older one spotted this. “I wouldn’t push it, if I were you” suggested the older one.

The younger creature ignored the warning and repeated the greeting.
Again there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, “Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire!”

The older alien again warned his comrade, “You don’t want to do that.”

“You really don’t want to make him mad!”

“Rubbish” replied the younger alien at his rapidly retreating comrade.
He carefully aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled less 200 yards into the desert.

Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, re-focused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna array, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.
“What a ferocious creature”, said the young, fried one. “It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?”

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my travels through the galaxy.” said the healthier one. “When a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don’t mess with him.”

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


198 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


198 days ago

A fart is just a gust of wind
it gives the body ease
it warms the bed on winters nights
and gasses all the fleas

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


197 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


197 days ago

um Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


197 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


197 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


196 days ago

Top O D Mornin
A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, ‘Free Sex with Fill-Up.’

Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.

If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, ‘You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.’

A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another
fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Paddy guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, ‘Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free sex this time.’

As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy,
‘I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.’

Paddy replied, ‘No it ain’t, Mick. It’s not rigged at all.
My wife won twice last week.’

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


196 days ago

Top Ten Signs Gas Is Expensive

10. It’s so expensive, Batman is patrolling the streets on a Schwinn

9. It’s so expensive, mobsters are dousing snitches with olive oil

8. It’s so expensive, Domino’s only delivers within walking distance

7. It’s so expensive, moviegoers flock to “RV” just to see someone driving

6. It’s so expensive, Tom Cruise agreed to be a guest for 5 gallons of unleaded

5. It’s so expensive, you’re actually willing to carpool with Regis

4. It’s so expensive, Starbucks is selling Gasaccino

3. It’s so expensive, it’s negatively influencing our foreign policy, hurting millions of hardworking Americans and threatening to throw our economy into absolute chaos

2. It’s so expensive, Anna Nicole Smith married the night manager of a Texaco

1. It’s so expensive, Britney Spears’ baby is driving a Prius

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


195 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


195 days ago

passing gas Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


195 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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bowyer

342 posts in 290 days


195 days ago

A fart is just a turd honking to get out

-- If at first you don't succeed...Don't try skydiving

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


194 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


193 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


193 days ago

STRANGE FACTS ON FARTS

Where does fart gas come from?

The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

What is fart gas made of?

The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of boring, inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn’t have time to absorb the oxygen.
Encyclopaedia Britannica offers the intriguing statement that some people’s farts contain no methane. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the anomaly is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.

What makes farts stink?

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and skatole in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and skatole will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why do farts make noise?

The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus.

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?

On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.
Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

How does a fart travel to the anus?

One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids, and should therefore travel upwards.
The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus. Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won’t get very far due to the complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying down.

How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else’s nose?

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity and wind speed, as well as the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.
Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

Is it true that some people never fart?

No, not if they’re alive. People even fart shortly after death.

Do even movie stars fart?

Yes, of course. So do grandmothers, priests, kings, presidents, opera singers, beauty queens, and nuns. Even Yoda farts.

Do men fart more than women?

No, women fart just as much as men. It’s just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.
I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?

A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as “morning thunder,” and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.

Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?

Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas!
Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins.
A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog’s digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog’s bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.

What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?

People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don’t. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.

Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?

No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.

Is it harmful to hold in farts?

There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for peoples’ health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.

How long would it be possible to not fart?

As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans-Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake!

Where do farts go when you hold them in?

How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it?
I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it?
The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later.
It is reassuring to know that such farts aren’t really lost, just delayed.

Is it really possible to ignite farts?

The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is not more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice.
There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.

Why is possible to burn farts?

Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.)
Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.

Is it possible to light a match with a fart?

No, even strike-anywhere matches have their limits, unless the fart has the consistency of sandpaper! Any fart that rough I would hesitate to call a fart. Also, farts have the same temperature as the body from which they emerge, and aren’t hot enough to initiate combustion.

Are there any books about farting?

There are several! My favorite is the new book, Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson. This book provides an entertaining and thought-provoking history of the fart in literature, language and society. It is very informative and very funny!
Ben Franklin’s classic Fart Proudly is still in print.
There is a collection of suggestive photographs called Who Farted Now? by St. Martin’s Press. Most of the photos come from old movies and political shots.
For children, we have the famous The Gas We Pass : The Story of Farts by Shinta Cho, and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum (Translator), and the Canadian picture book, Good Families Don’t , by Alan Daniel and Robert N. Munsch, about a highly visible fart infesting a proper middle class family.

Is it possible for a talented person to earn a living through flatulence?

Few people earn their living directly via flatulence. But a friend of mine says that he saw a carnival act in which the performer whistled tunes with his farts, blew out candles on the opposite side of the stage, and sent flames all the way across the stage. A famous performer who earned his living this way was Le Petomane, who performed in France at the beginning of the 20th Century. However, my friend isn’t old enough to have seen Le Petomane, so maybe he had a chance to see Mr. Methane. Mr. Methane lays claim to the distinction of being the world’s only performing flatulist.
However, people may also earn a living through the prevention of flatulence (as do the manufacturers and sellers of Beano and other products), through the practice of medicine specializing in the treatment of flatulence and other gastrointestinal problems, by writing books about flatulence (see the question before this one), and through the production and sales of various fart gags such as whoopee cushions and farts in a can.
Fartypants sells a fart filter and a number of other fart-related products.
Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to find a copy of Le Petomane’s biography by searching at alibris by clicking on the link below. Last time I checked, they had two copies available!

Why do dog and cat farts smell so bad?

A carnivore’s protein-rich diet produces relatively small amounts of intensely stinky gas because proteins contain lots of sulfur. A dog’s or cat’s farts are rarely audible, but the odor is overwhelming. I have asked biologists why dogs and cats generally fart silently, and their theories include: (1) the amount of gas produced is small, but potent, (2) the horizontal orientation of their gastrointestinal system puts less pressure on the anal opening, so the gas is expelled more slowly, (3) their anal sphincters don’t close as tightly as humans’ because it takes less force to hold in the contents of the colon—again because of the horizontal orientation of the gastrointestinal system—and a loose anus makes less sound, and, my favorite (4) dogs and cats don’t feel embarrassed about farting, so their sphincters are more relaxed, leading to less noisy flatulence.
Mike F. points out that many dog foods are soy-based, so on top of all the above factors, add beans and stand back!
Large herbivorous animals such as cows, horses and elephants, on the other hand, produce vast quantities of relatively non-stinky fart gas. The farts of these animals are noisy and can go on for astoundingly long periods of time. Cows in particular are productive, in part because they swallow huge amounts of air. They need oxygen in their guts for the various protozoa employed there as digestive aids.

Do fish fart?

According to our ichthyologist at the University of Guam, fish flatulence per se has not been studied, although people have investigated fish digestion. They find that although most fish have alkaline intestinal environments like our own, coral-eating fish have acidic intestinal contents. The acid serves to dissolve coral skeletal material. Coral has the same composition as Tums (calcium carbonate). One product of the reaction between acid and calcium carbonate is carbon dioxide gas. Therefore, it is logical to assume that coral-eating fish fart a lot.
The other fish probably fart also, for the same reasons that we do.
However, Mike Pulte, a great fish enthusiast, said that he has never seen a fish do it.
I asked our ichthyologist if it were possible that fish gas would go into the swim bladder instead of out the anal opening. He said that modern fish have an air bladder that is independent of the gastrointestinal tract. The gas comes from enzymatic activity and not from the intestine. Older models of fish have their swim bladder connected to the gastrointestinal tract, but it is attached high up, closer to the mouth than to the other end, and these fish come to the surface and gulp air to fill the bladder. Therefore, we can assume that intestinal gas leaves the fish through the anal opening.
We also pondered the possibility of fish making noise via flatulence, but apparently most fish noises are made through belching rather than farting.
Lisa P., an aquarium enthusiast, reports that she has seen her fish fart: “I have four aquariums and many fish, and I have personally witnessed fish farting! My goldfish used to do it all the time! You’d see a little bubble come out of his anus and stay there, trapped in the mucus of a long string of poop. (Ugh!) And my opaline gourami does it too. Neither of these are coral-eating fish. I have only owned two coral-eating fish so far, but I have never seen either of them fart. It seems most likely to me that much of this gas comes from air swallowed during eating. Also, goldfish have a very simple digestive system and their food is absorbed inefficiently, so possibly the bacteria have more to feed on?”

Do turtles fart?

Yes, turtles do fart, and their farts smell incredibly bad, as do the farts of snakes. In fact, it is my opinion, based on personal experience with reptiles and not on any formal research, that many reptiles use farts as a weapon.
Reptile farts smell so bad that sometimes you can tell that one is nearby in the woods, even on a windy day, before you can see the animal. One day I was hiking through the woods in Arkansas with a friend and I told my friend, “I smell a snake fart.” A second later, the snake crawled across the path. Astounding but true!

What kind of animal has the highest worldwide output of flatulence?

Believe it or not, the animal that wins this honor is the humble termite. Because of their diet and digestive processes (with more than the usual microbial assistance), they produce as much methane as human industry. Termite farts are believed to be a major contributor towards global warming.

Is there any kind of animal that doesn’t fart?

If we define a fart to be an anal escape of intestinal gas, then it follows that animals that lack intestines or an anus cannot fart. Most animals possess intestines and an anus, but there are some that don’t. These include:
Sponges: These organisms lack true tissues and organs. They have just a few types of cells organized into a bag with holes in it. Water flows into some holes and out other holes. Sponges are so different from other animals that some biologists think we shouldn’t even call them animals.
Cnidaria: This phylum includes the jellyfish, corals, sea anemones and hydra. Their tissues are organized into a bag with a mouth surrounded by stinging tentacles. Food enters the mouth and is digested inside the bag, after which the leftovers are expelled via the same opening. In effect, the same hole serves as both a mouth and an anus. Any gas expelled by a cnidarian would be more appropriately termed a belch rather than a fart, since the animal lacks intestines and separate anus.
Pogonophoran worms: These remarkable animals, who dwell on the sea floor near active volcanic regions associated with mid-ocean ridges, possess no mouth, no stomach, no intestines, and no anus. Apparently they retain their svelte, worm-shaped figures by giving up on eating completely! They survive by means of a mutualistic relationship with chemosynthetic bacteria that live in their flesh. Anyway, these animals cannot possibly fart.

A second category of animals that probably don’t fart are animals that live very deep underwater. At high pressures, gas remains in solution rather than forming bubbles. So there is a good chance that all those clams, echinoderms, fish and other animals living near the sealer don’t fart because their farts stay in solution and never emerge as bubbles, even though the animals possess perfectly good intestines and anuses.

Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?

Judging from what I see when I do the laundry, I’d say that the answer to the first question is definitely yes.
As for the causes, we must remember that what we call “fart” and what we call “poop” are just end-members of a continuum. That is, we can have a pure fart, or a pure poop, or anything in-between, depending upon the admixture of the two.
If a sample consists mostly of poop with only a small fart component, you get such things as jet-propelled bowel movements and spongy, floating fecal masses (you know, the ones that refuse to be flushed down the toilet—they keep popping back up).
If the sample consists mostly of fart with only a small poop component, you get what is known as “skid marks” or “fart art.” These can also result from inadequate wiping, but the shape of the stain is different in the two cases. Inadequate wiping leads to elongate marks parallel to one’s crack, usually with well-defined edges, whereas fart art is generally more circular and has an air-brushed look.
Fart art is most likely to occur if (1) a person is suffering from diarrhea, (2) the person is trying too hard to fart, and (3) the person mistakenly perceives the pressure against his sphincter to be gas pressure rather than liquid pressure. Again, that last situation is most likely to occur if the person is afflicted with diarrhea.

How can we tell when it’s only gas needing to come out, rather than something more serious?

Our ability to distinguish between the need to fart and the need to poop is something that we learn gradually in the process of toilet training and early childhood. With the tactile nerve endings in the rectal area, we can actually feel different sensations depending upon what is waiting by the exit. Of course, sometimes we are fooled, especially if the substance at hand is extremely fluid in nature, and that is when we have the unfortunate accident of venting a squirt of diarrhea rather than an innocent fart.

Why do chicks always deny farting?

I suppose I should start by saying that only some chicks deny farting. The rest of us acknowledge our gaseous accomplishments with pride.
However, a great many sisters do deny farting. The reason is that they have been misled into thinking that farts are not ladylike. It is a great mistake to say that farting is not ladylike. The reason is that all people fart, including ladies. Anything that ladies do is by definition ladylike, and that includes the emission of anal gases.

Is is possible that, by inhaling other people’s farts all day long, my own farts will smell more?

No, inhaled farts would go into the lungs rather than into the digestive system, and would simply be exhaled again, although it might be possible that some of the fart components might be absorbed into the blood. If you wanted to benefit from other people’s farts in the way you describe, you would have to swallow them somehow.

Is it possible to get stoned after inhaling two or three farts in a row?

I am not aware of any intoxicating agents in flatulence. However, most farts contain very little oxygen, and you may experience dizziness if you are inhaling overly concentrated fart essence, simply from lack of oxygen. On the other hand, if you are inhaling farts in the open air and are breathing rapidly in order to inhale as much fart as possible, you may be hyperventilating, which also induces dizziness.

Then there is the intrinsic hilarity factor: farts are so funny in both sound and odor that you might feel high just from the basic entertainment value of farts.

Is it possible for a fart to kill you?

A great many of you have asked if farts can be fatal, or if you can die from smelling a particularly bad fart. My initial response to this question was “no,” but I thought I’d better ask a doctor. So now it is official, the medical opinion I received is no, a fart can’t kill you.
However, if you really work hard at it, you can manage to kill yourself with just about anything. I recently read of a man who hooked up his nose to his anus with a system involving a gas mask, rubber tubing and a hollow wooden post. He died of suffocation. This story comes from the Darwin Awards, and I personally cannot attest to the overall veracity of their stories.
The story of the bed-bound obese man who died from inhaling his own flatulence (and whose farts almost killed the paramedics) is an urban legend that has been in circulation for some time.

Can excessive farting cause impotence?

That depends on the tolerance level of the person with whom one is trying to be potent!
Fortunately for humans, farting doesn’t cause tissue damage. Other animals aren’t so lucky. Soldier termites can actually turn themselves into bombs by detonating themselves via the explosive release of gas and feces, a process called “autothysis.”

Is it possible to inhale (suck in air) via one’s anal opening?

Yes, but it’s a rare talent. The great early 20th Century French flatulist, Le Petomane, was able to do this, and in fact was able to suck up an entire bowlful of water (just the water, not the bowl) into his colon and expel it again with considerable force. By sucking in large quantities of air, he was able to perform lengthy shows on stage, and could imitate musical instruments, farm animals, and bird songs, whistle melodies, and play the ocarina. His productions were said to be virtually odorless, which is to be expected from air obtained directly from the outside.
Here is a message I received recently (November, 1999) regarding the skill of inhaling via the anus:

“i would just like you to know that i am part of a trio, who can suck in air in our anal openings. we are somewhat air-bandits. we can let the longest farts you have ever heard. our record holder, chad, stands at 24 sec. the record for most farts in a row is derek, at 492. and i, robert, have earned such nicknames as: Mad Crapper, gurglemeister, and old wetful. We have followed Le Petomane example, and have mastered the art of farting.”

What causes the burning sensation that sometimes accompanies a fart?

This is generally caused by a recent meal of hot peppers or related spices. The oils associated with these foods remain intact and active all the way through one’s gastrointestinal system.

If you fart in the bathtub, is the water polluted and should you refill the tub?

As long as what comes out is only fart and no poop, your bath water should not be significantly polluted. Most of the gas just bubbles up and contaminates the air rather than the water.

Is it true that a woman can fart out of her, shall we say, frontal opening, and if so, where does the gas come from?

Yes, it is true! The gas that emerges is simply trapped air, for there is no gas production in the genitalia of a woman. The air can enter because the system is open to the outside. This highly specialized kind of fart is sometimes called a queef.

Can a man fart out of his genital opening?

I have asked various men this question and they all deny it emphatically.

Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use?

It should be theoretically possible to do this, but there would be lots of logistical problems. I would suggest using a plastic bag instead of a jar. You might try the following as a science fair experiment:
Fart into several plastic bags and seal them carefully. Then fill several other plastic bags with ordinary air. Wait 24 hours. Then get volunteers to smell the contents of the bags to see if they can correctly identify which ones contain the farts. This should tell you if it is possible to store a fart in any useful way.

Malachi and Megaera have come up with a way to capture a fart in a jar. They say to do it in the bathtub while bathing. Fill the jar with bath water and then hold it with the open end downward. Lean back in the bathtub so that your fart bubbles will emerge in front of you rather than behind you where you can’t see them. Catch the bubbles in the jar, and put the lid on the jar while it’s still underwater. This way, you capture a fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air. To enjoy your captured fart to the fullest extent, make sure that your jar does not already smell like whatever was it it before, like pickles or peanut butter.

Is it weird to enjoy farting?

It is not unusual to enjoy farting. I believe that enjoyment of farting is a healthy attitude, since everyone has to fart. If a person is farting to the extent that it creates problems and unhappiness, then a visit to a doctor is in order.

What color is a fart?

Farts are, alas, colorless. All of the gases that make up farts have no inherent color. But just think of how interesting it would be if farts were bright orange like nitrogen dioxide gas! It would certainly take the mystery out of who farted.
Never-the-less, a high-personality gas like fart gas suggests color to people. Some people envision farts as brown, others as green or yellow. I have always thought of farts as brown, presumably because poop is brown. When someone farts in our car, that person might say, “You better not breathe through your mouth for awhile, or your teeth will turn brown.”
I knew a toddler who used to draw pictures of farts as yellow rectangles full of holes, like a slice of Swiss cheese. She thought of farts as yellow, and said that she knew they were rectangular because she could feel the sharp corners scraping against her on the way out!

Do other people smell a fart better than the farter?

The fart should smell just as much for the person who created it as it does for other people. However, the farter is somewhat protected by having the fart propelled away from his body in a direction opposite to his nose. Farting upwind nullifies this advantage.

Why is it that when you scratch your ass through two layers of clothing (your underwear and your jeans) your fingers still stink?

As pointed out by Barb F., who contributed the term listed below, a fart can be regarded as “aerosolized poop,” which means that microscopic fragments and droplets of poop are actually distributed throughout the gaseous matrix of the fart. When delivered from the anus with some force, the components of the fart can penetrate one’s clothing and these tiny particles can be trapped in the fibers of the cloth. The particles are transferred to your fingers and then your nose when you scratch and sniff.

Where does the word “fart” come from?

According to Eric Partridge in his excellent book of word origins (Origins: A Short Etymological Dictionary of Modern English), our word fart comes from the Old English word feortan, presumably of echoic origin, meaning that the word was chosen to sound like the object named.

When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

Now, that’s an interesting idea! My guess would be yes, since farts are nice and moist like our breath, but this is one question that I’m not in a position to answer. I live in the tropics, and it never gets cold here. So all of you who live in cold places, try it out and let me know. I’d guess that there are really two questions here: can you see the fart with no pants on, and can you see the fart even with pants on…

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


192 days ago

Gas Progress Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


191 days ago

A Cajun walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar, turns to the astonished patrons and says, “I’ll make you a deal. “I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. Then he’ll open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.

After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up, “I’ll try it – just don’t hit me so hard with the beer bottle!”

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


191 days ago

At the 1996 COMDEX … computer show …. , Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the automotive indusrty by stating: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars that cost $25.00 and get 1,00 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bills comment, General Motors issued A press release making the following statement: “If we (GM) had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) for no reson whatsoever, your car would crash twice per day.

2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3) Your car would occasionally stop on the freeway without reason. In order to get started again, you would have to pull off to the side of the road, close all the windowsshut off the car resart it and open all the windows again. For some unknown reason, you would simply do this without question.

4) Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to resart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5) Only one person could use the car at one time unless you bought “Car95” or “CarNT”, but then you would also have to buy more seats.

6) The new seats you would need would force everyone to have the same size butt.

7) You would press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

8) The oil warning light, water warning light, and alternator warning light would all be replaced by a single “Unidentified System Error” light.

9) The air bag would ask ur freshly mangled body “are you sure” before going off.

10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you back inuntill you simultaneously lifted the driver side door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.

11) The radio antenna would be internally mounted on the passenger side of the car.

12) buying a new car would force you to also purchase a new set of Deluxe Rand McNally road maps, dispite the fact that you niether need nor want them. Attempting to delet this otion would immediately cause your cars performance to diminish by 50% or more.

13) every time GM introduced a new car, people would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the old controls would function in the new car.

14) Macintosh would make a car that was five times faster, ten times more reliable and easier to mantain, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.”

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


190 days ago

gas mask commode Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


190 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


188 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


188 days ago





-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


188 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


188 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


186 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


186 days ago





-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


186 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


185 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


185 days ago

Need Gas? Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


185 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


183 days ago









-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View odie's profile

odie

1601 posts in 734 days


183 days ago

DAN … You rock !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


180 days ago

Funny of the Week Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


180 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


179 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


179 days ago

Dan, thats what I call overtime.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


179 days ago

Dan, thats what I call overtime.
Gas Robbery Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


179 days ago

Asian Pig Balloon Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


179 days ago


.
.
must be a land without over passes

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


177 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


175 days ago







-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


175 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


175 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


174 days ago

Funny, funny, ha, ha … swim with DAN and me, Grumpy.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


170 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


169 days ago


Buck Weimer (Pueblo, Colorado) invented “Under-Ease”, airtight underwear with a replaceable charcoal filter that removes bad-smelling gases before they escape. As the slogan says: “Wear them for the ones you love”.

you can buy them here …. http://www.under-tec.com/index.php

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


167 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


167 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View odie's profile

odie

1601 posts in 734 days


166 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


166 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


166 days ago

Cartoon Funny Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


165 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


164 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


163 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


163 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


162 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


162 days ago

Woman FAIL Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


157 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


156 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


155 days ago











-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


155 days ago


-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


155 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


144 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


141 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


141 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


141 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grandpaw

21 posts in 193 days


140 days ago

this has been a funny thread.

now I’ll add my cents on gas

I’ll be dead before peak oil – SUCKERS!

-- Carving

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


133 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


131 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


127 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


127 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


123 days ago

A funny photo I took in China Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


123 days ago

blonde moment Pictures, Images and Photos

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


123 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


123 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


123 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


123 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


114 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


114 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


113 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


113 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


112 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


106 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


106 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


105 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


105 days ago



-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


105 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


102 days ago

It’s cute, frugal on gas and has a high safety rating according to the manufacturer.
Photobucket

Photobucket
Still want one? ( Picture taken outside New Orleans )

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


102 days ago

The bug car is cool. I think it might need a tall aerial with a flag on it to protect it in a similar situation.
I drove a 69 fiat spider many years ago. It was about the same size and a blast.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


90 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


90 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


90 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


89 days ago

Photobucket
Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


86 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


86 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


86 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


86 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


86 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


86 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


84 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


84 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


84 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


77 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


77 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


75 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


75 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


75 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


73 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


71 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


71 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


71 days ago


The North Yungas Road, also known as The Death Road, is a 61 to 69 km road leading from La Paz to Coroico (Bolivia’s capital, to the Amazon region) in the Yungas region of Bolivia. It is legendary for its extreme danger: in 1995 the Inter-American Development Bank christened it as the “world’s most dangerous road. ” One estimate is that 200-300 travelers were killed yearly along the road. The road includes crosses marking many of the spots where such vehicles have fallen.

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


70 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


68 days ago

I’ve been away too long !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


68 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


68 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


66 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


66 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


63 days ago

Photobucket

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


63 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


63 days ago


Das Beans - Episode 2 by ~nickowolf on deviantART

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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Grumpy

14920 posts in 745 days


62 days ago

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

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odie

1601 posts in 734 days


61 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


51 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

View DAN 's profile

DAN

6439 posts in 877 days


51 days ago

-- work from your heart and your spirit will live forever

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