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Forum topic by David Craig posted 12-09-2012 06:20 AM 1567 views 0 times favorited 57 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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David Craig

2135 posts in 1775 days


12-09-2012 06:20 AM

Topic tags/keywords: strange conversations woodworking humor

I think some of it is the area in which I live, woodworkers are not in high quantity where I live. It seems that innocent trips to the store for a thing or two will sometimes lead to amusement for me, confusion for all.

Last summer I was working on a project and bought a couple cans of paint. I was a little confused when they wanted my driver’s license.

“What do you need my license for?”

“So we can discourage people from sniffing paint”

“People who sniff paint don’t have driver’s licenses?”

“No, we write down the information and notify the authorities if you buy a lot of it.”

“I am a woodworkier. Shouldn’t everyone just assume I am using paint to, I don’t know, paint wood?”

“Not around here.”

And so it goes. I have a rap sheet for being a notorious paint user. I would have thought this would make home depot happy…

Yesterday, I was approached by a very sweet and well meaning lady in the pharmacy department because of the quantity of bottles of Mineral Oil I picked up. It would seem that she was concerned about my regularity. When she was recommending prunes, I was trying to figure out how they could be used to protect a cutting board and thought I was going to learn a secret technique. She was a little embarrassed after I explained.

What strange conversations have you had when you were out and about?

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.


57 replies so far

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

14345 posts in 1005 days


#1 posted 12-09-2012 06:26 AM

Yea, I have had a few conversations with people and got the deer in the headlights look. They seem to think it’s magic and not hard work that makes a piece beautiful. Ugh!

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it.

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Tedster

2271 posts in 878 days


#2 posted 12-09-2012 06:47 AM

I was at the lumber yard once when somebody was arguing that the 2×4s were 1 1/2×3 1/2. He was serious.. he wanted “real” 2×4s and the yard guy was trying to explain to him about nominal dimensions.

-- I support the 28th Amendment. http://www.wolf-pac.com/28th

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David Craig

2135 posts in 1775 days


#3 posted 12-09-2012 06:50 AM

That is hillarious Ted. The fellow probably was fuming after leaving the grocery store with a 12oz bag of chips and a six pack of 11 1/4 oz beers and thought the lumberyard was taking their turn. :)

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

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crank49

3443 posts in 1637 days


#4 posted 12-09-2012 07:44 AM

My business partner and I were picking up some supplies for our store at the next door Home Depot. He placed two quarts of denatured alcohol on the checkout. The clerk informed him, “We can’t sell you two of those”. He turned to me and handed me one of the quarts. Then the clerk, obviously bewildered with this “end run” around the rules said, “I don’t think that works either. Y’all are together.” To which I said “Would it make you feel better if I move back to the end of the line. Then we wouldn’t be together.” This was okay. Go figure.

All this made me curious as to why I couldn’t buy two quarts of alcohol; my Dad used to buy 10 gallons at a time when he was a hardwood floor finisher. Turns out it is an ingredient used in making Meth.

-- Michael :-{| “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” ― A H

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David Craig

2135 posts in 1775 days


#5 posted 12-09-2012 07:56 AM

Now I am beginning to understand why people look at me strange when I am out. People in my town think I am a constipated meth manufacturer with an addiction to sniffing paint. I guess that is the most logical assumption :)

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

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oldnovice

3774 posts in 2034 days


#6 posted 12-09-2012 09:35 AM

Here I can’t buy a can of spray paint, varnish, shellac, or primer off of the shelf as it is all kept in a locked cabinet. I know this is to discourage taggers but here is the funny thing; if and underage boy/girl wants to buy out of this cabinet they need a note from there mother ... not father only notes from the mother are accepted.

I was in line behind a man and boy and the boy as buying a can of spray paint. The clerk ask for a note the boy said this is my dad. The clerk had to ask for ID to prove that the man was actually the boy’s father!

I think this had gotten a little out of control!

But it is funny!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

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David Craig

2135 posts in 1775 days


#7 posted 12-09-2012 09:46 AM

Truly hillarious, in a very sad kind of way :)

I run into frustration with that whole “mother knows best” thing. I can understand why women were not amused by the way they were represented by media in the 50’s.

I did have one humorous moment when I had my oldest over my shoulder and they wouldn’t allow me to buy a six pack because the store had a zero tolerance policy of adults purchasing alcohol for minors. My kid was one at the time. I just looked at the clerk and said “seriously?”

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 2827 days


#8 posted 12-09-2012 09:48 AM

My jaw is open, my eyes are “deer in the headlight”. I’ve never heard these stories before! Really?

I’m still stuck on demanding the driver’s license. I don’t think they can do that, can they? Of course I guess they can just not sell you the product if you don’t play by their rules.

And then the “note from the mother” YES!! That’s so awesome, strange, funny… what??? :)

And to David, the constipated meth manufacturer with an addiction to sniffing paint, I can say “I knew you when you were just a woodworker.”

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

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MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 2827 days


#9 posted 12-09-2012 09:49 AM

oh, and oldnovice—I’m going to quote your story if you don’t mind.
I have a new G+ Community about empowering women and this story fits perfectly.

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

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David Craig

2135 posts in 1775 days


#10 posted 12-09-2012 09:59 AM

When I really lose it Debbie, you might catch a glimpse of me during one of those New York New Years broadcasts. I will be the fellow streaking past the camera, holding a 64 oz. pop, a cigarette in my mouth, and flipping the camera off as I run by. I would be locked up for life, but I wouldn’t care at that point :)

The law for spray paint was geared to prevent graffiti. So you can’t spray on buildings and subways unless you are an adult. Then it turned to issues involving paint sniffing. Large pops are not allowed to be sold in New York. You can’t purchase more than two packets of allergy medicine or too much denatured alcohol due to meth labs. You can’t wear a costume at movie theatres any more due to potential violence. Apparently, only people with makeup can potentially draw a gun. The rule of thumb is beginning to turn toward treating everyone like a potential fellon to prevent fellonies.

Irony is that I live in Michigan. I would make the trip to prove I am crazy :)

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

View lumberdog's profile

lumberdog

226 posts in 1934 days


#11 posted 12-09-2012 10:00 AM

I don’t find it very funny OLDNOVICE, i find it kind of sad. Afew years ago i went to a local lumber yard to purchase some 2×4 s to build some porch railing, when i made the purchase then drove around back to the pile of lumber, a young man in his early twenties started putting the 2×4s in the back of my truck, The ones he was choosing were not straight and some were twisted, i told him to stop and take them back out of the vehichle because i needed better ones than that and i wanted to pick them. Then he asked me what i was going use them for and i told him i was building some railing for my porch and he says ( well then you don’t want this stuff, we sell porch railing already made up, you can go back inside and choose what style you want ) then i told him i was designing my own and i needed the 2 X 4s and he said that he didn’t think they could sell them to me for that purpose. I wound up getting the lumber after going back inside and reporting what had happened.

-- Lumberdog.. Michigan

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Bagtown

1712 posts in 2397 days


#12 posted 12-09-2012 10:23 AM

Wow.
I just sent a link to this to a friend that works the desk at our local small town hardware store.
I think I like my little town.
I am apparently very naive to the ways of the big bad world.

-- Mike - In Fort McMurray Alberta

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 2827 days


#13 posted 12-09-2012 11:12 AM

I, too, love my small town/ rural world!

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

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patron

13064 posts in 2008 days


#14 posted 12-09-2012 11:48 AM

we have a ‘no smoking’ rule here in town
within 25’ of any business

there are now lines of smokers
on the yellow line
down the middle of main st
puffing away

while cars full of ‘the righteous do-gooders’
and their lawyers cruise by
looking for violators

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View David Craig's profile

David Craig

2135 posts in 1775 days


#15 posted 12-09-2012 11:54 AM

I got kicked out of a restaurant after the non-smoking bill went through here. I walked up to folks and made recommendations that they skip the cake and go with the salad. I thought since everyone was concerned about my health, I would repay the favor.

I learned my lesson :) Kinda…

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

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