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Forum topic by Nighthawk posted 10-01-2012 05:05 AM 1499 views 0 times favorited 17 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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554 posts in 2326 days

10-01-2012 05:05 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

What does one do… when you are offered some wood/lumber and you say sure I’ll take it…(happens to be another trailer load) you get it all home… when one remembers that the other day one bought home a trailer load of lumber from an auction and one struggled to store all that… and one still has two mantles to dis-assemble yet. (I love recycling wood) Also noticing that all ones cubby-holes for storing those decent off cuts are full… the rafters are full of those longer bits and skirting moulding etc, all ones wood racks are full… I have to admit that, that in itself is rare… normally other way around empty… :-/

Whats does one do?

One says… (in typical kiwi attitude) “She be right…” I tell myself, other half not so impressed… Just means one has to stay in the shop a bit longer to make stuff and make room for the new lumber… other half even less impressed…

“Do I get my shelves?” shes asks… my answer was again in typical kiwi attitude… “Add it to the list…” other half even less impressed…

Opps… :-/

-- Rome wasn't built in a day... but I wasn't on that job? ...

17 replies so far

View Nighthawk's profile


554 posts in 2326 days

#1 posted 10-01-2012 05:13 AM

Opps I think this is in the forum when I thought I was doing the blog postie thing… errrm sorry… :-)

-- Rome wasn't built in a day... but I wasn't on that job? ...

View patron's profile


13600 posts in 3310 days

#2 posted 10-01-2012 05:17 AM

sounds like some shelves
are in your immediate future

snag one for yourself
while you are at it

it must be tough
to have to much wood

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View derosa's profile


1572 posts in 2805 days

#3 posted 10-01-2012 06:03 AM

Crank out at least one thing for her, that’ll unload a little wood and at least impress her some. Maybe set up a couple jigs and crank out two or three if needed to shorten the list. You can always pass a little on; I came into a windfall of some wood and helped out a friend who is equally in the middle of no where and sent a few boards his way. Never hurts and they may get returned as another type at a later date when you’re low.

-- --Rev. Russ in NY-- A posse ad esse

View WoodWorkWarrior's profile


46 posts in 2042 days

#4 posted 10-01-2012 06:54 AM

I wish I had that problem.

-- Jason

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

28965 posts in 2307 days

#5 posted 10-01-2012 07:00 AM

NEVER turn down wood! Yea, build her something, first. I hate to think how long my list is.

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2044 days

#6 posted 10-01-2012 01:00 PM

Flowers. Best investment in the ‘keep the wife happy’ department ever invented.
Add “you know, I don’t think I tell you often enough how much I appreciate you” and you’re golden!

Or, if you like the more devious approach, start sticking your nose into a domain of hers, and offer her lots of unsolicited suggestions (like this response) and she’ll likely send you packing back out to the shop.

While I have very little experience yet with woodworking, I’m highly qualified in the wife department!


-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View lunn's profile


215 posts in 2278 days

#7 posted 10-01-2012 01:41 PM

I’d tell my wife it’s my wood and i’ll put wherever i want ! I’ll stack it in the kitchen if i want to. P.S. Be far enough away and mumble so she won’t hear. I guess thats why i’m single, she heard ! Keep em happy or you will be ! Flowers Sandra ? Does that really work?

-- What started as a hobbie is now a full time JOB!

View Kookaburra's profile


748 posts in 2193 days

#8 posted 10-01-2012 01:50 PM

Oh yeah, flowers work for most women. Why? Because they are totally impractical and have no use other than smelling nice and looking beautiful. Men are generally great at useful gifts, but sometimes you just have to do something that says “I love you and I want to brighten up your day.” A new sewing machine is very nice but does not say that. The context is all important. A spur of the moment flower gift, out of the blue, is one of the best things you can do.

And all you men who say “my wife does not like flowers” or “she does not like me to spend money on things that do not last” – you are totally missing the point. Flowers are NOT something to ask your wife if she wants. They are something to surprise her with. And when she says “Oh, you shouldn’t have” – she does not mean it. Only, if much later, she brings it up and says she wishes you would not get her flowers should you listen.

-- Kay - Just a girl who loves wood.

View daltxguy's profile


1373 posts in 3883 days

#9 posted 10-01-2012 03:12 PM

One makes a more elaborate storage system with the first set of wood that you picked up thereby solving two problems with one – using up old wood, storing new wood.
Make sure there is a project in there for other half – a nice rimu storage box – easy enough to finish in a weekend or a day.

-- If you can't joint it, bead it!

View oldnovice's profile


6773 posts in 3337 days

#10 posted 10-01-2012 04:28 PM

My wife doesn’t like flowers! She says they are a waste of money because they just die. And, she surely doesn’t want roses because she has over a dozen rosebushes to maintain.

As for the wood, I wish I had that problem too! I do have some stored on a cart under a tarp outside and had thought about renting a storage unit but that is not cheap!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

View rance's profile


4255 posts in 3129 days

#11 posted 10-01-2012 04:36 PM

1) Make her something(soon) that she asked for… AND

2) Find an up and coming, strugling, young woodworker that you can gift some of it to.

-- Backer boards, stop blocks, build oversized, and never buy a hand plane--

View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2044 days

#12 posted 10-01-2012 05:07 PM

This thread made my day! Always nice to have a good laugh.

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View Knothead62's profile


2584 posts in 2930 days

#13 posted 10-01-2012 05:38 PM

Remember- Happy Wife, Happy Life!

View helluvawreck's profile


30765 posts in 2836 days

#14 posted 10-01-2012 07:27 PM

In the molding and woodworking business for 40 years we used to go on these gigs where a trailer load of lumber was in a wreck and was all over the interstate near Atlanta. After lucking up on a couple of these deals they would start to call us because they wanted it cleared. We’d all jump in the vehicles along with our forklifts and take off for it. We always came out smelling like a rose. We might get one or two a year. We didn’t get them all by any means but we sure were thankful for the ones we got.

helluvawreck aka Charles

-- helluvawreck aka Charles,

View Milton Toal's profile

Milton Toal

107 posts in 2040 days

#15 posted 10-02-2012 05:27 AM

Two ploys.

1. Do a job, without saying a word, that you know she has wanted for some time. When you fit it, agonise a bit over the difficulty but not as a complaint. Swear softly a few times, run back and forth to the workshop for special tools – last night it was for the right-angled chuck to drill holes in cramped spaces while I set up a kitchen-implement-hanging-rod made from half a Hawaiian Sling (black fribreglass rod) hanging from simple scroll-sawed 2X1 hangers. Then apologise that it took so much time that you had ear-marked for another job for her. Pressure off the other job and you are sweet for weeks.
2. Make her something she has neither asked for nor had but makes her life so much better. I made, out of mostly scrap, a wall-hung artistic, open-fronted cupboard for the spices, sauces (non-refrigerated), vinegars, oils et al that she uses in cooking and mounted it just left of the cook-top, over the work-bench. Visitors comment how great it is and she keeps getting subtle reminders that all my time on the tools is not just about me and others whom I make things for.

I’ll photo this and put it up as a project because it was very cheap, extremely effective and she loves it every day she uses it. When you see it you will note that every item in it is visible and accessible and she can easily see what is running low and put it on her shopping list.

-- Milton Toal, Doncaster, Melbourne Australia.

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