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Forum topic by coolerjack posted 09-17-2012 09:41 PM 1335 views 0 times favorited 8 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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20 posts in 2180 days

09-17-2012 09:41 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor plane refurbishing


Woodworkers beware! A new threat to our beloved vintage tools is rising. While we painstakingly restore our pre war Stanley hand planes and Disston saws to put back to use, a sinister force is competing against us in online auctions and early morning yard sales. Well known and despised by woodworkers everywhere, the devious saw painter takes our fine hand saws and destroys them with pastoral Bob Ross paintings on the plate. Fortunately this tool poacher has been identified and we can combat against them by offering up the post war Disstons and Craftsman saws that aren’t worth restoring to use anyway. A detente of sorts has been struck where we feed them crappy saws and they keep their oil paints off our industrial era beauties.Today, I identified another species of tool poacher possibly more heinous in nature. This hand plane defiler puts even less thought into their desecration by wrapping the plane body in pretty ribbons and adorning the frog with dried twigs and berries. No talent required but in one feel swoop the poor hand plane has been swept from the shop and emasculated to the land of purse dogs and knick knacks!!uurrp…I just threw up in my mouth!This poor plane was sighted at a local craft show and I was deeply dismayed to learn that it had once been accompanied by at least 10 others like it. Those 10 of it’s brethren had already been sold into exile of the shabby chic. The evil doer even told me that these “hand planer thingies are my best seller”!!!!!!!!! (too many exclamation points…I think not)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Beware my brothers! This insidious new threat is out to snipe you on auction bids. We must infiltrate this faction and convince them that Buck Brothers, Groz, and Footprint planes are much better for knick knacks due to their rare and “highly sought after” out of flat soles and poorly cast bodies. The Stanleys of the world are too uniformly manufactured to be shabby chic and fly in the face of all that poorly decorated knick knacks stand for! I would rather see my moulding planes screwed to the wall of an Applebees than stomach the sacrilege of the dried twig and berry treatment! Unite my fellow woodworkers and stop this menace before HGTV picks up on it and broadcasts a “How to decorate old tools” show.

8 replies so far

View coolerjack's profile


20 posts in 2180 days

#1 posted 09-17-2012 09:43 PM

The original author is ” The Renaissance Woodworker “

View MrRon's profile


4764 posts in 3241 days

#2 posted 09-18-2012 06:21 PM

There are those who rescue dogs, cats and other forms of life. Maybe you can rescue the plane and nurse it back to health. Cost is $14.99.

View TerryDowning's profile


1077 posts in 2115 days

#3 posted 09-18-2012 06:27 PM

I’ve got a 1970s era Stanley (Plastic handles and all and not really worth the effort to restore, yet for some reason I can’t seem to part from it and it collects dust in a drawer) I’d gladly trade for a prewar item.

-- - Terry

View BinghamtonEd's profile


2298 posts in 2367 days

#4 posted 09-18-2012 06:40 PM

I love how they put a tag on it that says “Vintage” in artsy-looking letters. Should say “Travesty” in sad-looking letters.

Should bring it to the counter, rip everything off of it, and ask “How much is it without all the bull*t?”

-- - The mightiest oak in the forest is just a little nut that held its ground.

View Don W's profile

Don W

18711 posts in 2565 days

#5 posted 09-18-2012 07:13 PM

I don’t know guys. Anything with a pressed steel adjustment nut should stay in the bushes. As long as they stick with those, I’m ok.

-- - Collecting is an investment in the past, and the future.

View Brandon's profile


4152 posts in 2949 days

#6 posted 09-18-2012 08:42 PM

I agree with Don. Take the vintage crap planes and decorate them all you want, but don’t touch the Stanleys, Keen Kutters, Sargents, etc.

-- "hold fast to that which is good"

View lumberjoe's profile


2899 posts in 2245 days

#7 posted 09-18-2012 08:53 PM

Brandon, I don’t think they would know the difference. This is a disturbing trend. My wife showed me a bit brace coat rack on Pintrest. She thought I would think it was awesome.

Also, I H A T E the word “upcylcing”


View DocBailey's profile


584 posts in 2357 days

#8 posted 09-18-2012 11:27 PM

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