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Kids do grow up, dang it!

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Forum topic by fussy posted 736 days ago 985 views 0 times favorited 18 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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fussy

980 posts in 1682 days


736 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: kids life humor joy and sorrow

When my first grandson was born nearly six years ago, nobody could have prepared me for the rush of intensity of the love I felt for that messey, misshapen, howling at the top of his lungs, slimey, little mess that rolled quickly off the elevator in a portable incubator accompanied by his father and two nurses. I was stunned. I couldn’t get enough.

Over the next few minutes, he was cleaned up (he howled), weighed (howled), had a blood test (schrieked), had a foot and hand print (became apoplectic) and was generally poked, prodded and thrown around so much I am sure her felt like a foot ball. But love? I could see and hear him through the glass, but couldn’t touch, but he was MY GRANDSON.

Over the next 5 1/2 years, he has grown. He has grown physically (he’s the biggest kid in preschool, the ONLY brown belt in Tai Kwan Do) BUT HE’S GENTLE, MAKES FRIENDS EASILY, and enthusiastic. A teacher’s dream.

All this, of course comes at the expense of watching the baby become a young man. Every new challenge he takes up involves leaving behind an old baby trait; for example, he buckles his own seat belt, but he still waits expectently for his grandmother to check him and kiss him. He pours his own and his sister’s milk, but he still at times needs his porkchops cut up. He grows before our eyes daily, and we never know who is going to get in the car after school until he’s there.

When he began eating at our house at lunch three years ago, we would sing the “Feed Me Song”. from “Little Shop of Horrors” He would sit in my lap and ask for one more “bite-bite. He loved (amd still does) peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When asked how he wanted it cut (we were working in the shop by 3 years of age) we gave him 3 choices, vertical, horizontal, or the other possibility. He would proudly and decisively announce, “Daggonagle!!” (sp?) This was his hallmark.

Kids grow up, and that’s ok; it’s what we really want for them. Really! But it comes so damned fast that it seems like weeks, not years. Perhaps this is a good argument for not feeding them so well. Last Tuesday, he started kindergarten. He has new glasses, I got him a new haircut of which he is undeniably proud (His Mother was less so—her baby), he walks errect with supreme confidence, has arithmatic in the bag, is beginning to read, is beginning to understand fractions and measurement, loves tools and woods, can speak with adults on their level on many subjects, but knows when to be quiet and listen. He has grown up in the last month. Grown enough that we may be confident that we are beginning to see the fine young man he is to become. He is growing, yes; but he is not quite grown.

Our children and grand children grow up and start lives of their own long before we are ready. One can watch childhood fall away like too-small clothes and shoes (LOTS of those). Although this is painful for those of us priviledged to have been a part (we imagine and hope we were formative parts), it is only as it should be. The stripping away of childhood is both jarring and joyful. Each stage brings new challenges and new oportunities, new excitement and worry as our children prepare to take up where we leave off—hopefully to better effect. All we can do is watch and hope that the love and effort works as we want it to. So fAr, so good.

The other day at lunch we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches again. When asked his preference for cutting he thought, then replied in a thoughtful, grown-up voice, ” I think I would like daggonagle (sp?) please!” Yeah, kids grow up; too fast it sometimes seems. We know that it’s the way it’s supposed to be
and we accept it with a classicly ambiguous attitude. We’re happy for their growth and sad at what is forever lost. However, for now at least, WE STILL HAVE DAGGONAGLE!!!! (SP?)

Steve

-- Steve in KY. 44 years so far with my lovely bride. Think I'll keep her.


18 replies so far

View redryder's profile

redryder

2139 posts in 1733 days


#1 posted 736 days ago

As they say, “If I knew grand kids were this much fun, I would have had them first”......................

-- mike...............

View fussy's profile

fussy

980 posts in 1682 days


#2 posted 736 days ago

Mike,

How would that work?

Steve

-- Steve in KY. 44 years so far with my lovely bride. Think I'll keep her.

View William's profile

William

8976 posts in 1473 days


#3 posted 736 days ago

I agree 100%. They grow up WAY too fast.
I have eight kids. Three of them have left home now. One other one is grown, but I don’t think he’ll ever leave till he finds a bride. A couple of weeks ago though, when we dropped my daughter off at college over a hundred miles away, it really hit home. My two boys that have left home, I see them regularly. My daughter now, I only hear from her between classes and social event when she can find time to give me a second or two before running off to something else. This has been a hard pill to swallow. It seems like only a few weeks ago I remember this beautiful little child crying because she didn’t want to go to kindergarden.
As for my four little ones, I have two still in elementary school, but the other two are in junior high now. How is that possible when I still call them my babies?

-- http://wddsrfinewoodworks.blogspot.com/

View chrisstef's profile

chrisstef

10692 posts in 1638 days


#4 posted 736 days ago

Steve – great little write up and story. There certainly lots of sage advice written in those lines. As you know ill be making the journey into fatherhood in less than a week. Its been a long haul for us to get there and the excitement, anticipation, and anxiety is really setting in. I had the opportunity to talk with my father last night, forever the goofball, hes always got great stories. I can only imagine the love a grandfather has for his grandchild. My old man had officially claimed next Thursday night as grandpa night. He will be joining my wife and I in the hospital to watch Nathan’s first Uconn football game with him. Hes got the babies onsie picked out all ready. “I Bleed Blue” Uconn gear. He had also suggested the he would like to home school my son so that at a very young age Nathan would know exactly how to perform a pick and roll, read zone vs. man to man defense, and when you shoot a one and one. Life’s journey will become very interesting very shortly for this proud LumberJock.

-- "there aren’t many hand tools as awe-inspiring as the #8 jointer. I mean, it just reeks of cast iron heft and hubris" - Smitty

View Porchfish's profile

Porchfish

572 posts in 1164 days


#5 posted 736 days ago

Steve, you’ve done well my friend . And I agree with redryder ….for sure… I have a grandson and a just as grand, granddaughter ! They are both in high school. One a senior the other a sophomore….damn I am lucky to be this old ! 48 years married and as crazy now as when I was 20 ! goodon’ya all !

-- If it smells good, eat it ! The pig caught under the fence is the one doing all thesquealing

View Bill White's profile

Bill White

3410 posts in 2592 days


#6 posted 736 days ago

Steve, very wel said. Somethin’ happened to my eyes while I read that though. Had to wipe ‘em a couple times.
Yeah, I’m a wuss.
Bill

-- bill@magraphics.us

View jusfine's profile

jusfine

2280 posts in 1557 days


#7 posted 736 days ago

Well written, I enjoyed it as well!

We had our first grandchild born almost a year ago, and I agree, there is nothing like it!

Since my son and daughter have been grown up for awhile, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed their expressions when they are little…

-- Randy "You are judged as much by the questions you ask as the answers you give..."

View GMman's profile

GMman

3902 posts in 2329 days


#8 posted 736 days ago

I love my granddaughters 22 and 23 (I have only two) more than anything, the oldest one as soon as she got out of the University her and her boyfriend who is an Engineer are building a new house kids today don’t fear anything.
They are moving in their new house next month and we are going down to see it (5 hours away) we love her so much that we are going to give her a nice fat check.
Our money is no good in the bank better be them having it.

View fussy's profile

fussy

980 posts in 1682 days


#9 posted 735 days ago

This is what I’m talking about!!!

William, they willl allways be your babies—allways. My two girls are 33 and 30. Both teachers, both leaders. When they call I can tell what’s on their minds. If all is well, it’s hi Dad. If not, it’s DADDY!!! They will ALLWAYS be your babies and that will allways be your crowning glory.

Chris, the anticipation you’re feeling right now is nothing like what awaits you in a few days. You are about to be hit with a high-low harder than any quarterback ever felt. It only gets better from here. Soak it in, revel in it and love Nathan and your wife as hard as you can. Watch your Dad’s reaction. It should be piceless. On this bleed blue stuff; shouldn’t that be UK?

Don, thanks my friend. You’re right; ain’t this a hoot? How do we get so lucky?

Randy, what gets me is the eyes. They say everything they’re thinking. They can’t hide anything at that age and everything is a thing of wonder. So much excitement there.

GM, right you are. You didn’t feel much fear at that age either, did you? Youth does that for you. By the time you get to be our age, you’ve seen and done so much, there’s nothing much left to fear. They will make good use of the money and you will be happier knowing they were able to because of you.

-- Steve in KY. 44 years so far with my lovely bride. Think I'll keep her.

View SchottFamily's profile

SchottFamily

105 posts in 1124 days


#10 posted 735 days ago

Wow – well articulated! It touches on my best aspirations and worst fears as a father of 5. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

-- IZZZZZI BoB IZZZZZI

View OldMarine's profile

OldMarine

70 posts in 904 days


#11 posted 735 days ago

I view my grandkids as revenge on my children. :)

Kidding, love ‘em all.

-- Jim, Southern Oregon

View WoodenFrog's profile

WoodenFrog

2737 posts in 1544 days


#12 posted 728 days ago

Hi Steve, I just wanted say that I really enjoyed your words here.
I am A proud father of three,21, 13, and 11.
I am close to my younger ones, the older boy is from my 1st marriage. He is a step child I raised him and his older brother (I lost his brother at age 17 to another boy playing with a loaded gun) so really I am the only Dad the ever knew. He is at that stage in his life when he thinks he doesn’t need me( I do need him)
As for my 2 little Babies I still call them that! they are doing like your grand kids are GROWING UP!
Too fast for my liking, but if being a grand dad is all that you say it is I can’t wait.
I lost my dad this last Feb. I do remember his face when he was around the Grand children, he let them get away with so much more than he ever let us.
But the smiles on his and their faces is what I enjoyed most.
He Lived not to far from you, Irvine Ky I have a lot of family all through those parts, what beautiful country that is down there.
Thanks and God Bless.

-- Robert B. Sabina, Ohio..... http://www.etsy.com/shop/WoodenfrogWoodenProd

View fussy's profile

fussy

980 posts in 1682 days


#13 posted 727 days ago

Schott Family, Thanks for the kind words. FIVE kids? Wow. thought it was busy with two daughters. Good fortune to all of you.

Old Marine, Jim, Thanks for beilng one of the best. Now’s the time to show your grandkids what the Best Grandfather can do.. Love the bodiddley out of them! Thanks.

Robert (WoodenFrog), I’m really sorry about the loss of your 17 year old. I won’t tell you I know how you feel, because I truly hope I never have to find out. The hurt will leave, gradually—just the worst part of it. NEVER allow his memory to fade. But try to keep his memory AS GOOD AND FRESH as you can. Remember him as the good kid he was.

The 21 year old will come around. They like to show the old man they know their schtick better than he does. It’s part of grownig up. My youngest, the mother of the 2 1/2 grandkids, for a while didn’t want to be reminded she HAD parents. much less being SEEN with us!! Just tonight, I had to drive into the University where she teaches, to jump off her car (left the lights on All day.). This attitude lasted until the first grandson’s 3rd year. Now we’re back to normal.

Just keep the love lines open, be encouraging, not judgemental, be ready to help when the need arises, and don’t give up. He will be back. Dads and Grandads are hard to do without. The ‘little babies’ you can love as much as you want. Just don’t be too easy on them. They want limits; consistent, firm and fair, and they will thrive.

Thank you for the kind words and keep at it. A parents job os NEVER DONE.

Thanks,
Steve

-- Steve in KY. 44 years so far with my lovely bride. Think I'll keep her.

View WoodenFrog's profile

WoodenFrog

2737 posts in 1544 days


#14 posted 727 days ago

Thank you Steve! I will try and use your words and keep at it!

-- Robert B. Sabina, Ohio..... http://www.etsy.com/shop/WoodenfrogWoodenProd

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15688 posts in 2850 days


#15 posted 727 days ago

Nice thoughts, Steve.

My kids are 26 and 23, and no grandkids yet. But I can definitely relate to one thing you said: My younger one (daughter) lives half way across the country from us now. When the phone rings and the first thing I hear is “Daddy” I know she has a problem she needs my help with.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

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