I just have an honest question

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by Arlin Eastman posted 08-01-2012 04:56 AM 1994 views 0 times favorited 47 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View Arlin Eastman's profile

Arlin Eastman

4234 posts in 2588 days

08-01-2012 04:56 AM

Topic tags/keywords: honesty bigitory bullying intelligent posting irresponsible people bad attitude question

Why is it when some individuals have a poll or ask a question They really do not want an honest answer or an answer that in contrary to what they want.

Then if they have an individual answer their question they do not agree with the poster gets very hostile and curses and insults anyone and everyone.

To me personally either that person does not really want an answer or he is a bigit with zero tolerance for someone that might have a more intelligent answer them them.

I have found this on several new posts by one individual and he then drops to the 2nd grade level of being a verbal bully.

Anyone have an answer. Also Keep it clean. I do believe there are intelligent individuals that can get a point across without profanity and degrading someone eles views.


If you can not abide by my rules Please do not respond you are NOT welcome and I will Flag you or whatever it takes to get you off of my post.

-- It is always the right time, to do the right thing.

47 replies so far

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18290 posts in 3703 days

#1 posted 08-01-2012 06:15 AM

Good question. Just be thankful you are not in a job where you have to deal with the public all day, every day!

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View scharx's profile


20 posts in 2153 days

#2 posted 08-01-2012 06:38 AM

Haha nice one, working with people can really suck

-- Andrei,

View Sheila Landry (scrollgirl)'s profile

Sheila Landry (scrollgirl)

9231 posts in 2947 days

#3 posted 08-01-2012 10:20 AM

Sometimes I think when people are asking for opinions and they already have the answer, they are looking for affirmation. Perhaps they are not quite confident that their answer to the problem is correct and they want to hear others confirm their thoughts.

However, if they become abusive as you say, I would think that these people are being very egotistical. They are trying to strut their stuff and say “Look what I know!” and anyone who disagrees or gives other suggestions is regarded as a spoiler to them and they become hostile. I think these individuals are very self-centered and aren’t here to receive help or help others, but rather to show off and boost their own self-esteem. Many times people like this are so insecure in themselves, they tend to over compensate for their insecurities by posting here only to brag, and not really wanted others’ help.

If you are aware of a certain individual, I would just ignore him and leave it at that. Certainly you are not going to be able to change his ways and trying to point this out to him will only draw you into a conflict with him. I think your energy is better directed elsewhere, Arlin. You have so many wonderful and positive things going for you. That is where I would put my time and attention.

Just my thoughts on it. :)


-- Designer/Artist/Teacher. Owner of Sheila Landry Designs ( Scroll saw, wood working and painting patterns and surfaces. "Knowledge is Power"

View ShopTinker's profile


884 posts in 2795 days

#4 posted 08-01-2012 11:20 AM

When a person does a poll trying to prove that their opinion is the right one or at least the majority agrees with them and then they become unhappy, angry, or hostile to those with opposing views. I’d say it’s because they aren’t mature enough to admit they are wrong, or at least that the majority don’t agree with them.

My dad used to say “You can’t argue with an idiot unless you stoop to their level.” He would say, about the person you mentioned above, “My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts!”

The best polls seem to be ones where the poster is looking for everyone’s opinions to help them form an opinion of their own. Most everyone has an opinion on most things and as my my dad used to say to me “two heads are better then one even if one of them is yours”.

In my opinion I’m always right, except when I’m wrong. That’s just my opinion; I could be wrong about being wrong and actually be right all the time :)

-- Dan - Valparaiso, Indiana, "A smart man changes his mind, a fool never does."

View JAGWAH's profile


929 posts in 3111 days

#5 posted 08-01-2012 11:44 AM

What Shiela said~

-- ~Just A Guy With A Hammer~

View CharlieM1958's profile


16275 posts in 4245 days

#6 posted 08-01-2012 12:16 PM

Sheila is right on the money about people looking for affirmation.

I would suggest, though, that the primary reason people become hostile when you disagree with them is that they suffer from low elf-esteem. They already have a deep-seated negative opinion of themselves, so when others affirm that negative opinion by disagreeing with their ideas it makes them feel even worse about themselves, and they respond by fighting back like a wounded animal.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View helluvawreck's profile


31403 posts in 2894 days

#7 posted 08-01-2012 12:26 PM

People are very complicated creatures.


-- helluvawreck aka Charles,

View KnickKnack's profile


1090 posts in 3593 days

#8 posted 08-01-2012 12:30 PM

Why is it when some individuals have a poll or ask a question They really do not want an honest answer or an answer that in contrary to what they want.
Anyone have an answer

My view is that most of these such “questions” are posted with the specific aim of creating discord and starting fights. That simple.

-- "Do not speak – unless it improves on silence." --- "Following the rules and protecting the regulations is binding oneself without rope."

View David Kirtley's profile

David Kirtley

1286 posts in 3025 days

#9 posted 08-01-2012 12:45 PM

They do not have the background in actually knowing how to have a civil debate. They are unaware of logical fallacies. Many people only have a few talking points and are generally ignorant of the full issues involved, all they have left is to try to bully their way through.

-- Woodworking shouldn't cost a fortune:

View Porchfish's profile


824 posts in 2559 days

#10 posted 08-01-2012 12:51 PM

Arlin, the best way to deal with a bully is to ignore it ! I have asked questions before myself and have gotten some very childish and nasty responses. I don’t mind so much that there are nasty folks in this old world and ignoring them usually handles the matter. I will tolerate most anything from such a person….once… with repeated unwanted or unwarranted contacts I find it necessary to respond in kind, but very seldom does that really nasty situation present itself. There is room for everyone in this old world, even the obnoxious ! Just think of how boring it would be if everyone were as civil as we expect ! Good on’ya friend. Thanks for the post !

-- The pig caught under the fence is always the one doing all the squealing !

View JollyGreen67's profile


1676 posts in 2790 days

#11 posted 08-01-2012 02:58 PM

IF I ask a question, I am hoping for an honest answer. Not because someone believes I already know the answer, I’m just looking for someone to answer a question of what they believe, NOT some crass, smartass, below the belt, really stupid remark. Is that so difficult ? As it happens, I will no longer be asking these questions because of all the cranky garbage someone likes to interject to an HONEST QUESTION.

-- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . . . . this CRAP is not what I expected !

View PineChopper's profile


188 posts in 2224 days

#12 posted 08-01-2012 06:29 PM

Arlin, They already have not only the answer but a small mind to match.

~Never Under Estimate the Stupidity of the General Public~

View JollyGreen67's profile


1676 posts in 2790 days

#13 posted 08-01-2012 07:30 PM

Chipmunk, Sad but true.

PineChopper, The small mind is a wonder to watch when the answers show up.

-- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . . . . this CRAP is not what I expected !

View Steve Esterby's profile

Steve Esterby

285 posts in 2787 days

#14 posted 08-01-2012 11:22 PM

I can’t help but think that some of the verbally abusive behavior I see on these forums must create really crappy dinner conversations. Probably a lot of people figure they’re looking at an idiot across the table.

--,the best teacher is repetition.

View Bertha's profile


13529 posts in 2720 days

#15 posted 08-01-2012 11:48 PM

It’s called trolling, Arlin. Or “trawlin” as us Louisiana boys call it.

You put a bunch of lines in the water and sacrifice some to get what you want.
The real question is at the end of it, are you really a kingfish champion?

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

showing 1 through 15 of 47 replies

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics