Differences and Commonalities Between Conservatives/Republicans and Progressives/Democrats
ON FREE SPEECH
C/R: Take your garbage opinions somewhere else. I don’t want to have to see or hear them.
P/D: (Attempts civil debate and when that fails, simply ignores the wingnuts.)
ON ABORTION
C/R: It should be illegal. Doctors who perform the operations should be killed.
P/D: It’s her body. Who am I to tell her what she has to do for the next nine months + 20 or so years?
ON HOMOSEXUALITY
P/D: It’s who they are; they were born that way (of heterosexual parents) and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Besides, what they do in the privacy of their own home is none of my business – and has no impact on my life.
C/R: All fags should die and burn in hell.
ON GAY MARRIAGE
C/R: Letting fags get married would absolutely DESTROY the institution of marriage.
P/D: More happy, loving couples makes the world a happier, better place.
ON FREEDOM OF RELIGION
C/R: I’m all for it – whether you’re a Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Episcopalean…....
P/D: The founding fathers got this one right and it means freedom of religion for ALL – Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, AND atheists. We understand that all Muslims are not terrorists any more than the Westboro Baptist Church is representative of all Christians and we feel that NO CHILD should be ridiculed or persecuted in a public school classroom due to his or her (parents’) beliefs.
ON SOCIALISM
P/D: Healthcare should be an inalienable right for all Americans. Sure, abuse of social programs happens – and we should strive to eliminate that (and punish those responsible) – but when your fellow man (or woman) is in need, lending a hand is just the right thing to do.
C/R: There’s no room for commie policies in AMERICA. If you’re poor, GET A JOB. If you’re sick, GET A JOB SO YOU CAN GET HEALTH INSURANCE. If you’re retired, you can live off your Social Security and get health care via Medicare.
ON IMMIGRATION
P/D: They’re coming here in search of a better life. If the tables were turned, I would do no differently. In fact, that’s precisely what my ancestors did.
C/R: Build more/higher fences! More funding for Border Patrol! Shoot to kill!
ON TAXES
C/R: Taxes are too damned high. Anything I can do to pay less, I will. Any tax loophole I can exploit is good.
P/D: Taxes pay for the police that keep us safe, the firemen that come when we need them, the schools that our children attend and the teachers who teach them. Taxes provide for maintenance and improvements for roads and infrastructure. Do I wish they were lower? Sure. But not if it means sacrifices to essential programs and services. Of course, if the wealthiest 10% of Americans paid their fair share, it would sure ease MY tax burden…
ON GOVERNMENT/REGULATION
C/R: Government should mind it’s own business and stay out of mine. The less government, the less regulation the better!
P/D: Lack of government oversight has led to numerous financial and other catastrophes. If more government regulation can prevent oil spills in the gulf, outbreaks of salmonella poisoning or the next Wall Street collapse, I’m ALL FOR IT.
ON THE TREMENDOUS DISPARITY IN THE DISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH IN AMERICA
P/D: The wealthiest Americans are entitled to their gains – but not if they’re profiting by the suffering of others. If they can make their billions ethically, and they pay their fair share of taxes, then they’re entitled to what they have. But when they try to use that money to buy politicians, elections, and judges… when they use their money for power and influence, so that they can profit further by policies that hurt others – that’s got to be stopped.
C/R: Aw, you’re just jealous!
ON THE OTHER POLITICAL PARTY
P/D: You’re a REPUBLICAN?
How can you be so blind, gullible and just plain STUPID?
C/R: You’re a DEMOCRAT? How can you be so blind, gullible and just plain STUPID?
ON LAST YEARS WORLD SERIES
P/D: WOW! That’s probably the best baseball I’ve seen in my entire life!
C/R: WOW! That’s probably the best baseball I’ve seen in my entire life!
TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE POLITICAL PERSUASION WHOSE MOTHER JUST DIED
C/R: Gosh, I’m really so sorry to hear of your loss. Where should I send the flowers?
P/D: Gosh, I’m really so sorry to hear of your loss. Where should I send the flowers?
TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE POLITICAL PERSUASION WHOSE WIFE JUST HAD TWINS
C/R: CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY! Where’s my cigar?!
P/D: CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY! Where’s my cigar?!
ON THE LATEST PIXAR MOVIE
P/D: I sure enjoyed that! Amazing how they keep churning out great movie after great movie, isn’t it?!
C/R: I sure enjoyed that! Amazing how they keep churning out great movie after great movie, isn’t it?!
TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE POLITICAL PERSUASION WHO RAN OUT OF GAS
C/R: Need a lift?
P/D: Need a lift?
ON THE JERRY SANDUSKY VERDICT
C/R: I don’t care how long they gave him, it should have been longer. I hope he gets a 300 pound rapist for a cell mate.
P/D: I don’t care how long they gave him, it should have been longer. I hope he gets a 300 pound rapist for a cell mate.
TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE POLITICAL PERSUASION WHO JUST GOT LAID OFF
P/D: NOW do you see the result of those FAILED Republican policies? I’ll check at my work and see if there’s any openings for you.
C/R: NOW do you see the result of those God-awful Democratic policies? I’ll check at my work and see if there’s any openings for you.
ON WOODWORKING
C/R: Wow, that’s a beautiful piece! Say, I’ve got a really good tip for you…
P/D: Wow, that’s a beautiful piece! Say, I’ve got a really good tip for you…
-- Founding member of the (un)Official LumberJock's Frugal Woodworking Society - http://lumberjocks.com/topics/29451
