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Forum topic by BobM001 posted 04-26-2012 05:26 PM 1476 views 0 times favorited 20 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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BobM001

388 posts in 1079 days


04-26-2012 05:26 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago,
you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would
have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago,
you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all
the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund,
you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink
heavily & recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.

And as a bonus…

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a
year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of
alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41
miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an American!
­­

-- OK, who's the wise guy that shrunk the plywood?


20 replies so far

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chrisstef

11464 posts in 1755 days


#1 posted 04-26-2012 06:20 PM

now that is some wise investment tips … you convinced me .. im cashing in my 401k for beer!

-- "there aren’t many hand tools as awe-inspiring as the #8 jointer. I mean, it just reeks of cast iron heft and hubris" - Smitty

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DS

2132 posts in 1169 days


#2 posted 04-26-2012 06:28 PM

Redneck reasoning at it’s best!
:-)

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

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S4S

2123 posts in 1429 days


#3 posted 04-26-2012 06:59 PM

If you had bet $ 1,000 in January ..that Mitt Romney would be the Republican Party nominee for President,
you would have $ 2,540 on August 31 , no beer or re-cycling needed . Told you Repubs that back in January ( any takers ?). Show me a man who says he never gets a break , and i’ll show you a man who never takes a chance . I’m just a liberal punter, but I do know how to maximiize my short term investments . I woudn’t recommend repeating that bet on that particular horse on Nov. 6 ,though . Buena Suerte, amigos y amigas . : )

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NBeener

4806 posts in 1922 days


#4 posted 04-26-2012 07:03 PM

Momento: No estoy seguro de que esta elección será de la suerte, pero la presciencia, la previsión, la visión, el conocimiento y la especulación.

En la medida en que puede prescindirse de la ideología, e ignoran los medios de comunicación (y Joe Lyddon), todos vamos a estar mejor.

Si.
Esa.

-- -- Neil

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DrDirt

2597 posts in 2491 days


#5 posted 04-26-2012 07:06 PM

Moment – you could actually have made that bet in Vegas…..they have the odds and bookmaking for just about any outcome of anything happening if you were willing to give them a wager.

So did you make any money on your prediction?

-- "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves." Edison

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S4S

2123 posts in 1429 days


#6 posted 04-26-2012 07:21 PM

@ DrDirt , When Mitt reaches the delegate number needed , or accepts the Nomination on Aug 30 , I will be very happy . Not $ 2,540 happy , but happy enough . I don’t let ideology interfer with making money ! If politics teaches anything , that is one obvious lesson to be learned from politicians . Right ,Neil ? : )

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patron

13171 posts in 2089 days


#7 posted 04-26-2012 07:34 PM

la mordida

y el singaso sige

aun lo que ceremos
o hacemos
nosotros

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

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murch

1186 posts in 1373 days


#8 posted 04-26-2012 07:45 PM

“The average American drinks 22 gallons of alcohol per year and walks 900 miles per year”

Is that over and back to the toilet?

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

View Don W's profile

Don W

15546 posts in 1316 days


#9 posted 04-26-2012 08:15 PM

finaly, investment advice that makes since.

of course I probably drink twice as much and walk half as much, so I’m the SUV of americans at 20 miles per gallon.

-- Master hand plane hoarder. - http://timetestedtools.com

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DS

2132 posts in 1169 days


#10 posted 04-26-2012 08:23 PM

...and a math genius to boot! ;-D

Twice of 22 gallons is 44 gallons.
Half of 900 miles is 450 miles
450/44 = 10.2 mpg

But point made/taken.

The Hummer of Americans perhaps?

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

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Don W

15546 posts in 1316 days


#11 posted 04-26-2012 08:27 PM

your right, I double the gallons and halved the walk, but only halved the equation. I’d better have another beer.

-- Master hand plane hoarder. - http://timetestedtools.com

View jeepturner's profile

jeepturner

928 posts in 1541 days


#12 posted 04-26-2012 10:29 PM

That joke worked better in 2009, because if you invested $1000.00 in Delta a year ago, you would have made ten percent on your investment, on AIG about two percent, and Lehman Brothers you couldn’t really call that an investment last year. May sixth 2009 the DOW was at 6626 today 13204.
Doesn’t mean that I am not investing in beer though, but when I do it’s in bottles so I miss out on the return from selling the aluminum. I guess you could say, that when it comes to investing in beer, I am more of a short term return guy.

-- Mel,

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David Craig

2135 posts in 1857 days


#13 posted 04-26-2012 10:35 PM

Two other benefits neglected to be mentioned. The size of the corporation can grow 25-50% in just a few years and when beer is in the fridge, your company just grows and grows :)

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

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SASmith

1636 posts in 1736 days


#14 posted 04-26-2012 11:19 PM

If only I could get 21% of my beer money back by recycling.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/beer.asp

-- Scott Smith, Southern Illinois

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Craftsman on the lake

2420 posts in 2186 days


#15 posted 04-26-2012 11:30 PM

Ha! We get the same mileage out of Moxie here in Maine.

How about Apple stock. In 1996 they were on the verge of bankruptcy…. about $12/share. What is it now $600 or so? yesterday they posted another blockbuster quarter. Sold 40 million iphones in 4 months. Analysts predict it to be the first Trillion dollar company in about a year. I specifically remember thinking about buying stock in the late 90’s… never did. Now that’s mileage!

-- The smell of wood, coffee in the cup, the wife let's me do my thing, the lake is peaceful.

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