Warning

Dude, this has GOT to be a joke.

I would GIVE those women my wallet for that kinda action!

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

This is why I always carry a few wallets on me.

LOL!

All we have at my local Home Depot is illegal immigrants who really will steal your wallet with none of the fun stuff.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Which Home Depot was that??

must be the west coast home depot.

-- Roper - master of sawdust-

I am obviously going to the wrong Home Depot.

-- When you give someone a chance it may well be their last.

Ha, sounds like you need to drop the “m” and the “e” from the word Home in the store name.

-- Rob (A) Waxahachie,TX

I keep mine filled with Canadian tire money.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

I never carry any cash on me but this gives me an excuse to go to Lowe’s (sans my wife of course). :)

-- With God's help all things are possible- even woodworking. Woodworking is not just a hobby, it is an (expletive deleted) expensive hobby.

I may be in the minority and will probably get blasted, but here goes.

I find this type of “humor” inappropriate for this website and, in general, disrespectful to women members. Let’s keep it family-friendly.

-- Randy, Tupelo, MS ~ May I become more like the Master Carpenter every day.

Interesting point, Randy. I respect your right to your opinion, and I’m certainly not going to “blast” you for it.

The bottom line for me, though, is that practically all humor could be considered offensive to someone if you analyze it hard enough. So I personally think we have to find a sensible middle ground. I would give this particular joke a “PG” rating, and thus acceptable in this forum.

I’d like to hear how some of our female members feel about this.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Bob – What’s Canadian tire money?

-- Gary, East TX -- The longest journey begins with a single step.

I might add another point since it was brought up here. The possiblity that someone would steal from another is dependant on their personal character and not their immigration or citizenship status.

-- Jack - Mission Viejo, Calif

Gary:
“Bob – What’s Canadian tire money?”

It’s incentive paper dollars given to patrons who pay cash for goods at this chain store.
They have denominations of 5 cents 10 cents etc.
You can end up with quite a wad of these things if you shop there but they are only redeemable for more purchases.
There are lots of jokes floating around Canada regarding exchanges of Canadian tire money. <g>

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

Yep, Jack. Even though that was my attempt at humor, you’re making my point about everything being potentially offensive to someone.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Actually this is a “cleaned up” version of the orginal joke that was emailed around a while back. I don’t mind the daily humor as long as the site is not over run with joke telling. Heck everyone needs a good laugh every now and then, but the fun is over if you start in with jokes about red necks, red heads or being from Texas. : )

-- It seem's I just make scrap wood and saw dust most of the time !

Doesn’t bother me. It’s obviously a joke.

-- Betsy - GO BUCKS!

Hey runngt, did you hear the one about the red-headed redneck from Texas? :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

I think Randy neglected to tell us that he has a vested interest in monitoring the activities here.
He appears to be the spokesman for this group of worshipers.

http://www.afa.net/
Perhaps he should have made that clear before posting his comments.

Honi soit qui mal I’l pense

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

No problem Charlie.

-- Jack - Mission Viejo, Calif

Uh Oh, if we are not careful, this could turn into another “Woodchuck”.

Please!

A moment of silence for the passing of George Carlin.

-- There is no such thing as scrap wood!, http://www.saltrivergallery.com

You should put a good insurance on your wallets

-- - - Tools are nice to have but you need someone to work them - -

Just speaking as a husband, and a father of three daughters. Please, Bob #2, no personal attacks.

-- Randy, Tupelo, MS ~ May I become more like the Master Carpenter every day.

Bob #2, Mr. Sharp doesn’t have anything to hide here. Says it right there on his profile:

”Professionally, I’m a spokesman for the family-values organization, American Family Association. Here’s my professional bio – http://media.afa.net/newdesign/spokespersonsrs.asp

—Randy, Tupelo, MS”

He’s even got a picture of himself and his full name. All he is saying is let’s keep the talk here about woodworking. If we need this kind of humor or any humor, just open up your Outlook and read on. Let’s keep it where we don’t have to block this site from view of our kids and/or spouse. Let’s be proud of it.

-- Makin' Sawdust!!!

Goodness gracious… or should i say Goodness Graces us… He even gave us a sense of humor to get through each day. So enjoy, don’t take it too seriously and most of all, HAVE FUN. Keep the humor coming and so will the woodworkers.

-- Even the best of men relish a little spice every now and then... HG Somers, circa 1905

Randy:

What rights would I have If I wrote “Serial Killer’ or “Gay Activist”on my stats?

You said it. It’s about woodworking and this is the coffee lounge.

Randy, you just made it to my ignore list.

For what it’s worth so did you Sawdust etc etc.

This whole thing was so unnecessary given the context of the original message.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

Randy, I apologize if I somehow offended you or any one else on the site. Believe me this post was just meant to lighten the day.

Yes, this is a woodworking forum, And should remain that way. But I for one do like a little humor in my life from time to time; that’s why it was placed in the coffee lounge. In the future I will not post such material.

Now back to making sawdust and no more bickering…

-- Brian's Table Top Toys http://home.mountaincable.net/~bgraham/

Garry….. . Check out this site. Canadian Tire money has been around as long as I have, and some of it is a real collector’s item…

CTM

-- Brian's Table Top Toys http://home.mountaincable.net/~bgraham/

Geez – I’m pretty straight laced, but I thought it was funny. Gotta take a joke for a joke.

Anyway – perhaps we should put this one to bed.

-- Betsy - GO BUCKS!

Canadian Tire money seems to be like the old “Blue Chip Stamps” we used to have here in the states.
You used to collect them and stick them into books and exchange them for products.

-- Gary, East TX -- The longest journey begins with a single step.

We just stick CT money in glove compartments and redeem it every 20-30 years, or whenever you sell your truck.

I have a MasterCard that gives me CT money as well- 4% @ CT, 1% on everything else.

I rack up a fortune every year since I went into business. Usually enough for a hammer, or a tire once a year. Ha!

-- The only easy wood project is a fire

Wow, I don’t see how this went from joke to ignore list. Sure, it did shock (For lack of a better word) me when I finally got the joke, and I don’t think it’s all that funny or appropriate, but there is no need to blow it out of proportion like this, or blow it at all for that matter. But, as far as I can understand this argument, it has nothing to do with the joke but about a person expressing their opinion about this joke.

I do have about 50 cents in CTM, but it looks like it should be at least $200! Did you guys hear about somebody getting a 2 cent CTM instead of a $20 at a ATM?

Very commendable, toyguy. Well, said.

I’m new in here and I plan on abiding by the “posting rules” and not engage in personal attacks, discussions of religion or politics and keep all my posts able to be viewed by “all ages”. I plan on doing what the rules say, “criticize ideas, not people” and not call them names like “worshipers”. And hey, and if it gets me “ignored”, so be it. If I am being ignored for showing some respect to my fellow woodworkers and standing beside my fellow woodworker who is standing up for the respect of ALL of our wives and daughters.

OK. I am stepping down from the soapbox, cutting it into pieces and making a better looking soapbox. To the shop!!!!!

-- Makin' Sawdust!!!

I’m with Bob#2. Anyone out there remember the “Dean Martin Show” or “Laugh In”? This is pretty mild stuff. Lighten up. Anyone that’s worked at a lumberyard, framed houses, or worked any kind of construction knows this. Toyguy, keep it up. bbqKing

-- bbqKing, Lawrenceville

HA!

-- Todd A. Clippinger, Montana, http://amcraftsman.com

My wife warned me of this, however she said they where young males and did I need anything from Home Depot.

-- Ron Central, CA

What a great wife Ron … always looking to help you out, eh?

-- When you give someone a chance it may well be their last.

Yea, Charlie. What do you have against those pesky illegal Canadian immigrants anyway? :-)

-- Gary, East TX -- The longest journey begins with a single step.

You know Francisco, I admit I did not stop to think about how that comment might be interpreted by some people. I’m sorry….that was a mistake on my part.

The joke was about being approached in the Home Depot parking lot. I live in the New Orleans area, and ever since Hurricane Katrina, you can’t go to Home Depot or Lowes without driving through, around, and often being approached by some of the dozens of hispanic males milling around the parking lot looking for work at all hours. While most of these people are honestly just looking for a quick job to make a few bucks, there have been some criminal incidents related to this activity. So, naturally, that was the first thing I thought of when I read the joke.

I apologize to anyone who was offended. However, I must say that I do take a dim view of illegal immigration, and it would be terribly wrong for anyone to equate that view with racism.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Gary, I can live with ‘em as long as they don’t try to spend any of that tire money here. :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Hi ToyGuy,

I for one howled when I read this. I told it to my wife together with the ‘Young Males version’. I too wouldn’t want to site to move from being about Woodworking, but as you say, it was in the coffee lounge and not the main forum.

I for one thank you for the good laugh.

If you don’t want to post any more – I am open to you PMing me a few now and again

Lets just keep it friendly – I too am a husband with a young daughter

-- Keep your tools sharp, your mind sharper and the coffee hot

Charlie, I was hoping to buy one of your boxes with Canadian Tire money.

-- If we learn from our mistakes, I'm getting a fantastic education.

Interesting how someone can get labeled a racist for being against someone breaking the law. What part of “illegal” don’t you understand? It doesn’t take much stretch of the imagination to imagine a person who has commited one criminal act to commit another.

I can’t see how you can be racist without even mentioning someone’s race.

Sounds like someone is feeling guilty and making assumptions to me.

Are you against people who commit murder? Then I can call you a racist according to your logic:

http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius2006/data/table_43.html

Who commits more than 50% of murders in the US?

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

MrWoody, maybe we can make a deal. Whatever you paid me in Canadian Tire money would be more than I’ve been paid in Amercan dollars for any of my projects. LOL!

As for all the rest of this stuff, I vote we put it to bed, Guys. Let’s leave politics to political forums.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Understood, Francisco. No hard feelings on my part.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Maybe I did mis-speak. I should have said “racial guilt”. Sorry.

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

family values eh

if the world was one country and only one person was elected to be “President” or “Prime Minister” and there are three candidates to choose from as follows…....who would you vote for?

Candidate #1. drinks and constantly drunk. never did well in school, perhaps expelled several times. Cheats on his wife and loves a cigar. He’s also fat.

Candidate # 2. drinks, smokes cigars. Never did well in school or business and is known for his fillandering ways. Is also known to hang his hat with gangsters.

Candidate # 3. Was a top student through school, Validictorian, an excellent athelete. Doesnt drink nor does he smoke and has never cheated on his wife.

.
.
.
.
. #1 was Churchill

#2 was Roosevelt

#3 was Hitler

Thanks for the humour

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

This thread is useless without pics :D

-- Hrolfr

So what should we do then, Roman, just throw out all morals, and go the relative morality route (What’s right for me is ok; what’s right for you is ok too)?

And your scenario falls flat on deeper examination. While Churchill and Roosevelt were not perfect (no one is), I don’t think what they compares to slaughtering millions of people, as Hitler did.

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

What’s this racism issue? If people, be they Mexican, Canadian or Irish are coming into this country other than by legal means, and staying here, they are illegally immigrating; can there be any argument?

We, as a nation, need to control our immigration numbers, so we can build the necessary infrastructure (schools, housing, etc) to accommodate these people. If we just open up the borders – to any group – then chaos occurs. That’s not racism, that’s reality.

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

Its called humor people. I personally thought it was funny, does that make me any less of a person? If you do not like the joke, ignore it. We have every right to laugh at something and you have every right to ignore it. Its getting to be in this country, that anything said by anyone, will offend someone. This is just nuts. If a person wants to go “morally correct” good for them. But please let the rest of us have a laugh, we need it with the “pressure” to be politically correct.

W O W !!!! SOME OF US NEED TO TAKE A CHILL PILL…
IT WAS ONLY A JOKE AND PERSONALLY I LMAO WHILE READING IT EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A WOODWORKING SITE .
PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE TO ME NO MATTER WHAT THEIR RACE IS OR BELIEFS ARE ….PLEASE RELAX AND MAKE AND POST YOUR WONDERFUL PROJECTS FOR EVERYONE TO ENJOY ON THIS SITE AND LET US LEAVE THE POLITICS , ETC. TO THE OTHER SITES OUT THERE THAT SPECIALIZE IN STUFF LIKE THAT …..I HAVE NEVER MET A FELLOW WOODWORKER OR BEEN TO A WOODWORKING EVENT THAT ANY OF THE ABOVE ISSUES WERE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT ….PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE : )

-- Dusty56@comcast.net

When we had rainy days in so. ca. as a child we would play inside during recess. One of these games was called telephone.The teacher would whisper something into the first childs ear, that child would whisper what was said to the next and so on and so forth. At the end of the long line of children the last one would say aloud what was told to him. It used to be hysterically funny (of course we were 6 to 8 years old) because how totally different the last child said was ,to what the teacher had started with!
Did this thread not start out as a joke? AND I am not 21 and it wasn’t home depot. As a woman I sometimes need extra cash too!
NOW SMILE EVERYBODY!!!
It WAS just a joke!!!
Oh and
PEACE!!!

-- Allison, Northeastern Ca. Remember, Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic!

-- Hrolfr

You got that right Francisco. They are human beings.

What do you do when a human being breaks out of jail? Why, you put them back until they get out the right way.

Suppose a human being broke into your house? What would you do?

Would you let him stay? Feed him, pay for his medical, his schooling? Let the rest of his family move in also?

That’s what’s happening to this country.

You wrote: “Even when that people is braking the laws of this country, they are still HUMAN BEINGS, and don’t deserve to be treated in a such way.”

Treating human beings breaking laws in this country what way?

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

I have it on good authority that we are supposed to have a sense of humor and be able to just laugh-

Lew

I guess I’m one of those bible toting rednecks clinging to my guns and religion with antipithy toward others who don’t understand me, but in all seriousness, I’m friends with several people from south of the border of the hispanic persuasion. While they are truly a proud, decent and hardworking people, if they aren’t here with the grace of the US government, (ie: have a green card or a visa) they are here illegally. I really don’t understand all this PC crap and it’s really refreshing to here most of you here just state the truth. I’ve got my asbestos underwear on, so flame away. And last but not least, yes, I laughed at Charlie’s joke.

-- Carl Rast, Pelion, SC

I got a dollar that says poor Toyguy will never post another joke on this site. Any takers.

-- Better to say nothing and be thought the fool... then to speak and erase all doubt.

I think your dollar is safe—Toyguy is in the same doghouse that Odie is in for some comment about comments and the same one I’m in for taking offense at sexy titles. It’s a dog house that needs a bit of expansion right now. :-)

-- Betsy - GO BUCKS!

I agree with you 110% Carl, from what I can see nobody even said anything that was ment to demean anyone. Looks like we get to hold onto them guns for a little while at least, can’t belive that it was 5-4 that is to close.

Yep don’t think that I would blame him eaither, post a simple joke and get everyone all upset.

-- Glenn, New Mexico

Toyguy, you did spark a few to come out of the woods. I don’t think Bunnings down under(similiar to Lowes) sell wallets, so I am safe.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

Betsy, I take offense to that. Toyguy’s very funny joke doesn’t compare to what I’ve done in the past (and what I plan to do in the future). How many of you (be honest) can remember the original joke?

I also have a confession to make, I have lost many a wallet that way. That is how I met Allison.

Toyguy, Please keep it coming. You offended only two people ( who try to be offended ) out of over 4700 … that’s pretty good. If you stop posting your humor, the “word” police have won.

Finally, You Two really, are you the ones who listen to a whole radio show that offends you instead of changing the station?

I’ve always suffered from “foot-in-mouth” disease, and this might be further proof of that. Lighten Up!

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke".

Most of you have probably noticed that Mr. Luna has no answers to my questions. Too bad.

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

The thing about not “offending” anybody is really just apathy; don’t you dare say anything that can be even remotely construed as being judgmental upon someone else! This is moral relativism at it’s core; a sin-less world, in which judging is the last sin. Calling out inequities raises the specter of judgment, and if you are a moral relativist, this is insufferable.

I call a spade a spade, not to be mean, but to point out moral-less behavior (in my opinion).

We’re not suppose to say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings? Tough. Not having hurt feelings is not a part of life.

I know that sounds harsh, but that’s how I feel.

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

Q:What did the zero say to the eight?
A; Nice belt.

I hope this does not offend anyone…. I just posted it for sure enjoyment and to win a dollar off of Chip…. Now I’m off to the big box store to be mugged…. again and again….and again.

-- Brian's Table Top Toys http://home.mountaincable.net/~bgraham/

toyguy, as a proud Numerite, I am offended.

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

Picking on numbers, OMG, whats next!!!!
Next thing you know we will be cutting trees for our own pleasure.
Oh yeah, we already do that.

I think that a joke about an eight looking like a zero with a belt tightened up around it is nothing more than a veiled insult to fat people. Brian, I’m becoming more and more convinced that you really are a troublemaker.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Sure, give all the attention to whole numbers without any regard for Henry the Eight who invented fractions.

-- There is no such thing as scrap wood!, http://www.saltrivergallery.com

geezzz charlie there you go picking on Fat people again geeeezzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am offended !!!!!

ok not really :D

-- Hrolfr

Don’t look at me…. I’m not the one telling fat jokes!

Since Churchill was brought up here earlier, it reminds me of one of my favorite, supposedly true, stories.

Winston was at a fancy dinner party, three sheets to the wind as usual, when the snobby woman seated next to him said “You, Sir, are drunk!”

Churchill replied, “That’s true, Madam. But you are ugly, and tomorrow I will be sober.”

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

That reminds me of another Churchill one.

A woman told him, “If you were my husband I would poison your drink”. To which he replied, “Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”

-- Gary, East TX -- The longest journey begins with a single step.

There you go, picking on people who drink.

Which reminds me- I had an uncle who worked in a wine factory but he didn’t care for is job title- cork soaker.

Another uncle was an illusionist- he could walk down the street and turn into a bar.

Someone told me I was going to drown in a vat of whiskey- ahh, death where is thy sting!

I was not aware that Canadian Tire money was around that long. I actually had enough one year to get my Dewalt router. The funny thing is that you cannot get rid of the stuff. If you pay for an item in full with CT money . . . you will get some back on the purchase. Its funny actually.

-- The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them

I’m with Pashley Toyguy, how can you insult numbers like the that. Next you will be using combinations like 69 & 181. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

God Odie you have a big mouth!!!, You promised not to tell!!!
To toyguy, It is 1:34 in the morning and I just woke up the old man,husband,hubby,(Careful not to offend, ya know!) because I was laughing Soooo hard and loud at at your “what did the zero say to the eight, joke” I don’t know whether I am laughing at the joke or the distance to left field you took from the original post. Keep it up! I for one like your style. And back to odie I don’t have no gin but I got some rum if you want to wash that foot down your throat. I for one enjoy some good humor in my otherwise rather mudane life.
Keep Smilin, and
PEACE!!!

-- Allison, Northeastern Ca. Remember, Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic!

Allison: Glad to see you have a sense of humor, hope your hubby does too. You should always leave sleeping hubby’s sleep is my moto !

Charlie: You are not the first to call me a trouble maker. Just the other day Mr. Woody dropped me an email stating the same. I just don’t get it. Me a trouble maker? ... not at all.

Life is just too darn short to take it too serious…....
now the game of golf; that’s a whole other story…

I am truly happy to see this thread take on a new direction. See, humor really is the best medicine.

-- Brian's Table Top Toys http://home.mountaincable.net/~bgraham/

In the words of Larry the Cable Guy – “Now that thar is a funny joke! If’n you don’t think thats funny, you just get the (bleep) outa here!”

If anyone is offended, in the words of the Fonz – “Sit on it!”

-- last night I played a blank tape at full volume - the mime next door went nuts!

OH … I GET JOKES !

PLEASE … KEEP THEM COMING …

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke".

Not to be a jerk but ….. if you are an illegal imigrant then you are commenting a crime therfore are a criminal….. are you trying to resolve your status (become legal ) ???

-- Hrolfr

what I was just sayin :D

-- Hrolfr

Hello people, it says right there in the sub-title that it is a break from Woodworking!!!

This is the Coffee Lounge, if people don’t want to read things that aren’t about woodworking, then don’t read this section of the site. The subtitle to this section of the forum states “Need a break from all the standing and wood dust? Chat with your Forum Friends about their projects…”

Also, I am a strong christian man with a good sense of humor. I think this joke is hilarious from the point of view that it pokes fun at men and their exetreme weaknesses towards the female body. God gave us the insane ability to be completely consumed and attracted to our wives. However, given our free will, we often choose to be stupid and use that attraction to lust for others through getting our wallets stolen or just looking at the woman across the street.

Frankly, I don’t see how this joke should offend women, I think I am the one who is offended.

Toyguy, stop making fun of me, you are hurting my feelings. (can you feel the sarcasm)

Francisco – I am not saying this to offend you, but shouldn’t someone who commited a crime be rightly punished for that crime? With that said, if you are illegal, then there are consequences to you openly choosing to break the law and if you are for some reason caught, you should be treated with respect and decency while you are being sent back home.

However, if I met you in the street or knew you as a friend, I would treat you just like everyone else. I am sure you are a hardworking, decent, God-fearing person because I have no reason to think differently. If you were a friend of mine, I would probably try to help you do what you need to do to become legal. There is no reason to be in constant fear that you are illegal and could be deported at any time with just cause.

PEACE…

-- JD - Sand Springs, OK - "You can't steer a car that isn't moving..." Unknown

Exactly my point. I have mercy for you, like I said, I would treat you with all of the respect you deserve and I would do all I could to help you get legal. I agree that you deserve to live in a better place far away from war, violence and extremly poverty, but you should do it according to the law. God instructs us to obey the law of the land as well as his other commandments. I feel sorry for you in your current situation. In fact, it hurts my heart to think of all you have had to deal with, but Choices, my friend, Choices.

Out of respect for both of us and others, this discussion will be continued with Pmessages.

Sorry folks for the soap box…

PEACE…

-- JD - Sand Springs, OK - "You can't steer a car that isn't moving..." Unknown

If my home was a crappy place to live I would want to stay and make it better. Fix it up and make it a decent place to live.

I wouldn’t break into my neighbors house. That would be a crime, and that would make me a criminal. Wouldn’t It?

I’m still waiting for answers to my questions, Mr. Luna.

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Franscisco – can you understand why many of us have concerns about illegal immigration? Is it possible that we have respect for the rule of law, and worry about those that don’t?

I don’t blame you for wanting to come here; I’d probably want to as well, if I was in your situation. However, that doesn’t mean that you overlook the rule of law, does it? Do you want this country to be a nation of laws that people obey only when they want to? I’m sure you don’t.

I think I can speak for all of us here when I say we don’t hate you; and we don’t want you to leave. Maybe the rest of us can cool it on the illegal immigration topic, if you will cool it on criticizing us for it.

-- -Be Blessed!, Patrick

Of course Mr. Luna can’t answer the questions.

His actions are indefensible.

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.