LumberJocks

right on ranting

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by patron posted 873 days ago 1399 views 0 times favorited 54 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View patron's profile

patron

12977 posts in 1946 days


873 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor

with all the influx of directional and divisional posts lately

and the inherent problems of getting the point across
to any wandering listener (especially one that cares)

it came to me that we might help some of these ‘ranters”
by having a ‘SOAP BOX CONTEST’
so they can be seen and heard easier by the passing public

as we are all woodworkers
it seems only right
that anyone wishing to rant and rave
should have a legal and trusted aid
to do their work from

i propose a box to stand on
i shall make a few rules
to keep this equal for all

1 – the box must be made of wood and be posted on the project pages
as a completed project (or it might be removed thereby making it invalid)

2 – it must fit under the seat in front of you
if carried on an airplane
(not in the overhead rack
lest it fall and hurt someone
in case of an emergency)

3 – it must be an original work
no plans or links to other tried and tested boxes allowed
(no live trees cut down to get lumber from)

4 – it must be portable and light enough
for the average riot cop to conveniently
take to the storage room and to court

5 – any add-on’s must fold into the box
and not obstruct any innocent passing pedestrians

6 – the finish must comply to all codes
and be approved for water and smoke damage
and not leave a stain on anyone’s clothes
that may come in contact with said box

7 – a maximum of 50 bd ft of lumber allowed
(no super-pac’s allowed to help)

the judging will be on thursday the 17th of march
by anyone on LJ’s that cares
(and hasn’t been barred or removed)

well that about covers it folks

i of course will not vote or enter in this contest
as it might be construed as a conflict of interest
or a rigged vote

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle


54 replies so far

View superstretch's profile

superstretch

1482 posts in 1298 days


#1 posted 873 days ago

Ha! I’m thinking 50bf might not be enough ^_^

Also, no need to build in a birdcage, since no one will ever admit to eating crow

-- Dan, Rochester, NY

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6915 posts in 1519 days


#2 posted 873 days ago

;-)

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View BarbS's profile

BarbS

2433 posts in 2690 days


#3 posted 873 days ago

;-) Good one, Patron!

-- http://barbsid.blogspot.com/

View Greg In Maryland's profile

Greg In Maryland

382 posts in 1603 days


#4 posted 873 days ago

Just brilliant!

Since the judging is March 17th, St. Patrick’s day, i would like to suggest that entries all be painted green.

Greg

View Manitario's profile

Manitario

2265 posts in 1488 days


#5 posted 873 days ago

best contest ever! Thanks for the smile Patron!

-- Sometimes the creative process requires foul language. -- Charles Neil

View stefang's profile

stefang

12605 posts in 1939 days


#6 posted 873 days ago

How about some alternatives, like a high horse for example?

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View patron's profile

patron

12977 posts in 1946 days


#7 posted 873 days ago

well so long as it ROCKS mike
so you can move on down the road
when the police tell you to

we may have to create a committee to augment the rules
and you know how long that takes
to get anything done

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5418 posts in 2033 days


#8 posted 873 days ago

A pedestal, maybe.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View RandyM68's profile

RandyM68

693 posts in 923 days


#9 posted 873 days ago

I’d love to enter, but I couldn’t build a box without plans.

-- I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. I'm sorry,thanks.

View patron's profile

patron

12977 posts in 1946 days


#10 posted 873 days ago

randy

can you stack boards ?

i can’t offer any more than this
as it might be construed as coaching

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View shinju's profile

shinju

185 posts in 1937 days


#11 posted 873 days ago

One great contest,thanks for the laugh….shinju

-- enjoy, be well and enjoy life with all around you

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2040 days


#12 posted 873 days ago

The top should be a cutting board

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View patron's profile

patron

12977 posts in 1946 days


#13 posted 873 days ago

rex

you mean like for making sandwiches
to garner votes
that would sure get the homeless to listen

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View Karson's profile

Karson

34862 posts in 3005 days


#14 posted 873 days ago

I was thinking that the contest closing date be changed to April 1st.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2040 days


#15 posted 873 days ago

No Karson, that would be foolish

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

showing 1 through 15 of 54 replies

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

GardenTenders.com :: gardening showcase