How To Avoid Being Suspended From Lumberjocks.....some thoughts.................

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Forum topic by S4S posted 02-06-2012 09:57 AM 2120 views 0 times favorited 32 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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2118 posts in 2438 days

02-06-2012 09:57 AM

Topic tags/keywords: moment humor moment

What a great Superbowl half time show ! Very enjoyable . In fact, I think I enjoyed that and the commercials more than the game itself. Just a few more millions of dollars and technical expertise and we will start to rival the truly spectacular events like the opening ceremony at the Beijing Olympic Games . Half time will half to be much longer though , with more music , and more Go Daddys ,and more Bud Light .

Football season is now over ,so there will be the usual separation anxiety for those of us addicted to Professional Football , as we ponder how to fill up the hours with some other activities ; those now lonely and vacant Sunday afternoons and Monday nights . Perhaps some will consider doing more woodworking .I had an unsane thought just a short while ago ,since now, with the absence of football I will have so much extra time for those extra thoughts . I have noticed that some have been suspended for a short while from recently . I was thinking of a way to avoid or eliminate these unfortunate events completely It would be nice if members who were having an issue with one another could simply send each other private messages instead of having all the public ‘drama’ in the forum. Thereby avoiding all those suspensions. I am fully aware that this idea will not be everyone’s cup of tea . Many need a public ‘venting’ and I respect that. The logistics of everyone un-blocking everyone else may not be practical . The end of the Mayan long count calendar is only a few months away ,so time may play a factor.

Being a musician , I ,for one , would not mind a fellow member sending me a short Video-Gram expressing his or her thoughts on how I had inadvertently slandered or upset them over one thing or another . I would open my private message in-box and receive my video-gram , and then send an apology in a timely fashion .

As an example , I am including a video-gram below . Feel free to download it and send it to me in case I mess up and forget to use my own suggestion, because now that football season is over my brain will not be what it use to be now that I have so many more non-important unsane thoughts to fill it with . Thanks and best wishes ~Moment .


32 replies so far

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2118 posts in 2438 days

#1 posted 02-06-2012 10:03 AM

If You suspect that you are about to be suspended , please send me this Pic-Gram asap !
so that I can contact you !

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2118 posts in 2438 days

#2 posted 02-06-2012 10:13 AM

If you are a new member and simply wish to say hello , please send this..Thanks !

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2350 posts in 2590 days

#3 posted 02-06-2012 12:12 PM

Hahaha seriously, does that also happen here? I thought woodworkers were all adults :)


-- Thomas - Pondering the inclusion of woodworking into physics and chemistry classes...

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799 posts in 2290 days

#4 posted 02-06-2012 04:31 PM

Oh moment, you have been missed. I too, am concerned about the passing of feetsball season ! What will happen to bud lite sales, and oh god what will happen to the corn dog market ? Ye gods ! And I am really worried about the over taxed local gendarmes who’s numbers have been greatly diminished by our tea party generated cut backs on “gubmint” spending ! Now how are they supposed to deal with the explosion in the coming weekends of the annual increase in domestic dispute calls ? I guess we’ll have to try and talk the local churches into picking up the slack by opening new battered spouse shelter annexes in their compounds ! I guess we could pray for the continuation of this mild weather and a rapid rise in interest for an early fishing season. Perchance there is a silver lining out there (Besides Willard’s tax returns)! It is way , way , too early for an increase in woodworking shop productivity to take us through these difficult times. Still too cold in some of our environs. Besides ,we have cut back in ER personnel too (mo’ wasteful “gubmint” spending alleviated) and probably would be inundated with sander burns, thumb stitchings etc. if we just jumped into shop time before we have been acclimated ! (post feetsball shock and reactive depressions effects can linger on, doncha know ?)
I knew nothing of the banning of LJ’s ! This comes as a shock to me ! Who are the keepers of the golden attitude key ? Have I been banned without even noticing it. ? I have been too busy finishing up my kitchen to submit any new projects or forum questions ? .... How will I explain this to the children ….?

Well it is good to see you active my friend ! I hope you can avert the cravens and stay with us as long as you like. Please defer your ‘occupy LJ’s move until we at least find out who is sneaking through the underbrush looking for subversives. A list of the gatekeepers would be of assistance to those of us who are lacking in experience ! We don’t want to respond to the wrong LJ member in a way that could be construed as threatening. We ALL need to know how to avoid the wrath of the righteous ! Me thinks we should consider not considering what condition our condition is in till our attitudes have been given the requisite ‘nihil obstat’ . Not knowing from whence problems may arise is burdensome for those of us who are blissfully ignorant O’ the rising? I didn’t know you were a magician ? What instrument/s do you conjure ? See how much I has to learn ?
I didn’t watch the Stupor Bowl, so I missed the reportedly maaaaavelous half time show. About the commercials, well I’m certain they will all surface during some friggin rerun of “Murrican Idol” ! Best of everything to you and kit and kin . Your North Florida friend, don s.

-- The pig caught under the fence is always the one doing all the squealing !

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7592 posts in 2671 days

#5 posted 02-06-2012 04:42 PM

”Me thinks we should consider not considering what condition our condition is in till our attitudes have been given the requisite ‘nihil obstat’ . ”

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

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4383 posts in 3499 days

#6 posted 02-06-2012 05:38 PM

If you are feeling football withdrawls and cannot get out of bed….have your wife come sing Soft kitty

-- 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners' ~George Carlin

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7592 posts in 2671 days

#7 posted 02-06-2012 05:55 PM

FWIW, if you think posting openly on LJs is offensive, PMs are MUCH worse. For THAT very reason the only way to clean up your PM ‘inbox’ is to place a block on those with such limited vocabulary that they only speak in a series of four letter words. At least the open forum brings a modicum of civility, though even that needs some administrative assistance on occasion.

My 2-cents…

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

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2118 posts in 2438 days

#8 posted 02-06-2012 07:36 PM

@ Mike , You just had to mention the word ’ Block ’ didn’t you . That was not nice of you . I told you I was in

Withdrawal stage from Football . I don’t need to be hearing words like ‘block’ , ‘tackle’ ,or ’ passing situation’ .

I sent a p.m. to Breznov , requesting that you be suspended until the next football season starts or at least

until I get out of rehab . I’m real tight with management , so you are surely history for a while ! Everything

you have posted up until now has been so nice , but you crossed the line this time !

There will be a couple of burly Czech gentlemen dressed in black suites and sunglasses showing

up at your residence soon to collect all your computers and stuff . Please cooperate with them . If not ,

a non-descript fairly nice guy will show up from the power company to discontinue your electrical service .

I am good friends with your town’s Mayor , so believe me , just one phone call and it will happen .

You will be sitting in the dark eating cold beans , while I will be at rehab eating hot food and watching game

shows in the T.V. lounge ! Sorry I had to do this , but you will probably thank me later. After all ,

It’s for my own good , and that’s what’s important . I’m sure we will put this behind us when you

return from your ban in the fall . Sincerly …Moment

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2118 posts in 2438 days

#9 posted 02-06-2012 09:03 PM

Dear Don ,

As I sit here in the T.V. lounge at rehab, using the community computer, just outside of Malibu , I am reminded of what is important in life.

Well it’s not really a ‘community ’ computer at the moment , because the rest of the ’ guests ‘

are so zombied out that there is no way they would be able to type . I , on the other hand ,

Have been hiding my drugs under my tounge and then spitting them out when the nurse leaves .

I’m not taking unidentifiable drugs and tuning into a zombie . At least , the kind of zombie they expect.

Besides , I have my own drugs out in the car and I don’t want to be impaired when I try and sneak out

to retrieve them . I keep telling the staff that I am only here for football withdrawal , but they just

give me strange looks and say ” Of course you are , you’re going to be fine!” But then I hear them

laughing and snickering in the hall . They are not fooling me for a minute , because all the sports

channels are missing on the cable !

I have only been here for a few hours and it is kinda rough . there was no one at the pool when

when i went for a swim , and the lobster they served at lunch was rubbery, and the only wine they

have is moscato , yuuk .

I read what you wrote above , and was laughing very loud . Apparently , this is unusual

behavior for rehab , so the attendant immediately brought me more drugs . This is serious ,Don , you are

going to have to tone it way down and not be writing such funny stuff , They are already suspicious

of my antics , and you are not helping . I am a little stressed out . Please try to be less funny until

I can make it out to the car later . Thanks Don . I will send you an e-mail later .

Well , I guess I will gently push one of the zombies out of his chair onto the floor so I can sit

and relax and change the channel to ‘Adult Swim ’ . To my other LJ friends , please

don’t post funny stuff for a while . If you receive the Pic-Gram( illustrated below) in your in box from me ,

It’s a reminder not to be too funny . Pretty self explanatory , thanks . Carpe Crinis !

View HorizontalMike's profile


7592 posts in 2671 days

#10 posted 02-06-2012 09:03 PM

Well the Giants did a FINE job BLOCKING passes. Why are you punishing ME. That Brady character is the one who NEEDS grounded, er uh, after all HE was intentionally grounding the ball on the Saints very FIRST offensive play. Ground Brady, NOT me!

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

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4383 posts in 3499 days

#11 posted 02-06-2012 11:26 PM

The Saints FIRST Play???
What game were you watching?
I saw the Giants and Patriots play

-- 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners' ~George Carlin

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404 - Not Found

2544 posts in 2726 days

#12 posted 02-07-2012 01:14 AM

Perhaps this would be a golden opportunity for the site operators to introduce a kind of automated ‘singing telegram’ service, adding a lighthearted dimension to forum debates and instant messages.

A few examples:

Someone posts a project, tiger maple table in the style of Queen Anne

Because you admire it so much, you send a few bars of Mud
That’s right, that’s right,
That’s right, that’s right,
I really love those tiger feet

Something else catches your eye:

Send a little blast of Blur

’You’re so great’

You disagree over which TiteBond to use for a given application:

Something by Guns’n’Roses perhaps,

”You know you’re crazy, oh yeah, you know you’re crazy”

Heated debate in the NSTF,

Something from Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention should fit the bill,

”You think you know everything,
but you don’t…”
from “The Idiot Bastard Son”

”I just can’t believe
You are such a fool
I just can’t believe
You are such a fool”
from “Son of Orange County”

The potential is endless, I didn’t even get to Green Day “F O D” or Beck’s “Motherf&cker”

View HorizontalMike's profile


7592 posts in 2671 days

#13 posted 02-07-2012 02:45 AM

Yeah Dirt, I guess THAT is how much I care for the er uh Old English Patriots (the ones who failed to respond to Katrina).


-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

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2118 posts in 2438 days

#14 posted 02-07-2012 03:18 AM

I used to date Katrina , she was a waitress on Bourbon street , but that’s another story…literally.

@ renners , funny stuff ! Why didn’t i think of that…..clever . would be a good feature .

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6232 posts in 3125 days

#15 posted 02-07-2012 03:36 AM

What a wasted thread!!!!!!!!!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

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