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Forum topic by TopamaxSurvivor posted 01-26-2012 06:04 AM 1292 views 1 time favorited 13 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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TopamaxSurvivor

15077 posts in 2424 days


01-26-2012 06:04 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

And God said that it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God, again said that it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

-- "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence


13 replies so far

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patron

13171 posts in 2089 days


#1 posted 01-26-2012 06:09 AM

well bob

that’s probably the best explanation
on the meaning of life
i’ve ever heard

i’m off to the porch now too

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

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BlankMan

1487 posts in 2101 days


#2 posted 01-26-2012 06:14 AM

LOL Love it!

-- -Curt, Milwaukee, WI

View devann's profile

devann

1735 posts in 1441 days


#3 posted 01-26-2012 06:14 AM

grrrr…

-- Darrell, making more sawdust than I know what to do with

View Dick, & Barb Cain's profile

Dick, & Barb Cain

8693 posts in 3048 days


#4 posted 01-26-2012 07:06 AM

That was quite a story about life.

I’m a little disappointed though, because I’ll be turning 80 next month,

and I haven’t been on the porch yet. <(:0}$

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1

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studie

618 posts in 1895 days


#5 posted 01-26-2012 07:15 AM

So funny and true! If we plan our life right we get these rewards. otherwise be a wood gloat like me:)

-- $tudie

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tom427cid

294 posts in 1219 days


#6 posted 01-26-2012 09:13 AM

Woof!

-- "certified sawdust maker"

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jeff

689 posts in 2213 days


#7 posted 01-26-2012 09:36 AM

so right now im a slave to my job,i’m not close to being a monkey yet and my wife says a already bark to much…thx for read…

-- Jeff,Tucson,Az.

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bluekingfisher

1106 posts in 1728 days


#8 posted 01-26-2012 11:07 AM

Hate to be the cynicc on the story Bob but making the cow produce for the humans that don’t yet exist???...............c’mon…..........(-;

-- No one plans to fail, they just, just fail to plan

View Lee A. Jesberger's profile

Lee A. Jesberger

6699 posts in 2728 days


#9 posted 01-26-2012 02:42 PM

Yup, that about covers it.

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

View Roger's profile

Roger

15319 posts in 1552 days


#10 posted 01-26-2012 03:08 PM

sounds bout right. I sip on a Guinness in-between grrrrrrowlzzzzzzz hehehe

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Kentuk55@bellsouth.net

View helluvawreck's profile

helluvawreck

16033 posts in 1615 days


#11 posted 01-26-2012 06:09 PM

Bob, that was a good one. Best I’ve heard in a while and my wife will love it. I’m not at the time where I’m suppose to be barking yet but I’m sure that my wife will say that I’m sure practicing up for it already.

helluvawreck

https://woodworkingexpo.wordpress.com

-- If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Henry David Thoreau

View stefang's profile

stefang

13633 posts in 2083 days


#12 posted 01-26-2012 08:53 PM

Personally Bob, I am doing more debarking than barking. Maybe god just made us woodworkers a little backward.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

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darinS

406 posts in 1616 days


#13 posted 01-26-2012 09:35 PM

Bark, bark, bark…..

-- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

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