Introducing the First LumberJock Roast of Roger Clark

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Forum topic by Dave posted 01-22-2012 05:50 AM 1982 views 0 times favorited 44 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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11429 posts in 2839 days

01-22-2012 05:50 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor roast

Lumberjocks Roast
Man of the Week
Rodger Clark
Hello everyone and welcome to LumberJocks first roast. We will be roasting Rodger Clark aka Rex over an open fire of walnut and cherry. This roast is to pay tribute to Rodger so all comments are welcome. I’ll start with a bit of history on Rodger. It seems Rodger once applied for a lumberjack position in Canada. The boss man said, “You look a bit on the small side there young fellow.” Rodger replied,” Give me a chance and I will show you.”
Boss man “ See that big oak tree there see if you can chop it down.” Half an hour later the big tree was felled and the boss man was amazed. He said, ”Where did you learn to cut trees like that?” Rodger, “ The Sahara Forest.” Boss, “ You mean the Sahara Desert don’t you?” Rodger, “ That’s what they call it now.” Rodger was going to study being a tree surgeon. He found that he fainted at the sight of sap.
I would like to thank Rodger for his many……..few brilliant comments here on LumberJocks. You know Rodger I have always liked you as a friend but never as a project builder. When I see your projects I think , what was that? But your a fantastic woodworker. I know cause you have told me that many many times.
You and I have never met, I guess that makes me a lucky guy. We have never had our paths to cross or even seen each other. But you see we have an indirect relationship. I am fooling around with his wife. So we do have some things in common. You know you have a lovely house. Incidentally you are out of scotch.
I will say this Rodger never forgets a friend. Either of them.
So I will close in saying he is a wonderful guy and if any other of you fine people would like to give some insight on dear Rodger comment here.

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are."

44 replies so far

View devann's profile


2246 posts in 2692 days

#1 posted 01-22-2012 06:02 AM

Got a match? I have some pine fat,
lites real easy. It’s great for starting a roast.

-- Darrell, making more sawdust than I know what to do with

View Dave's profile


11429 posts in 2839 days

#2 posted 01-22-2012 06:05 AM

Darrell I am awaiting on the man of the week to show up. He asked for it so I started it.

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are."

View a1Jim's profile


117091 posts in 3576 days

#3 posted 01-22-2012 06:11 AM

I have know Roger on line for some time even before he was AKA Rex(I think he stole that name from his dog). I would like to join in on the roast but I like ribs better.Roger tries to convince people he’s originally from Great Britten but we all know that’s not true because we all know the Britts don’t have a sense of humor.

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 3434 days

#4 posted 01-22-2012 06:15 AM

Thank you Dave (bastard) for such an eloquent bunch of half truths as an introduction to the Great One.
Yeah, i can understand being quoted as the worst woodworker on Ljs, BUT i’m bloody good at everything else. I can’t believe you have been fooling around with my wife, I take my hat off to you, I wouldn’t touch her with your’s, let alone mine. And Darrell, yeah I got a match, – your face, my ass.
Now for some Baileys.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View devann's profile


2246 posts in 2692 days

#5 posted 01-22-2012 06:18 AM

Rog, I’ll bring the Kalula, you start the coffee. & hey you don’t have that much hair on your ….

-- Darrell, making more sawdust than I know what to do with

View Dave's profile


11429 posts in 2839 days

#6 posted 01-22-2012 06:22 AM

Darrell I am under the understanding his nose hairs are just fine…

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are."

View boxcarmarty's profile


16181 posts in 2359 days

#7 posted 01-22-2012 06:25 AM

Roger, I haven’t been around as long as you have but I’ve seen some pretty weird but interesting stuff. Like the guy that made some Honey-do quick planters…. Oh wait, I guess that was you. But I got to hand it to you on your universal box for the LJ survival kit. That is a must in any Lumber Junkies suitcase and I’m sure that’s enough to even make Stumpy proud…..

One more thing, I went on vacation last year to the Sahara forest. You can imagine my disappointment when I got there. You owe me $126.50 in gas…..

-- My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone.....

View Rick's profile


9600 posts in 3032 days

#8 posted 01-22-2012 07:21 AM


Perhaps one way of Honoring Roger and KNOWING who this GREAT Person JUST MIGHT Really be is to Understand His ”Signature Line”.

”Always Look On The Brighter Side Of Life” A song written by Eric Idle for Monty Pythons … ”Life Of Brian”

UTube has a number of Videos on it that I could link you all to.

HOWEVER! ....Listening to, and Watching a Video is NOT the same as Understanding what the WORDS really mean.

To me …the WORDS that follow ARE Roger Clark.


“Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle,
Don’t grumble, ....give a wistle!
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…
And….........always look on the bright side of life!

Always look on the bright side of life…
If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten!
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle—that’s the thing!
And… always look on the bright side of life…

Come on!

Always look on the bright side of life…

For life is quite absurd,
And death’s the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin—give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it—it’s the last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life’s a piece of shit,
When you look at it.

Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true,
You’ll see it’s all a show,
Keep ‘em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)”


Those are the WORDS. They are also OUR Dear Friend ROGER CLARK!!

Thank You for being who you are Roger. I’m PROUD to know you as a Friend and “MY BUDDY”.

Warmest Regards: Rick

-- LIFE is what happens when you're planning on doing Other Things!

View William's profile


9949 posts in 2841 days

#9 posted 01-22-2012 07:40 AM

Roger Rabbit?
Who the hell is Roger?



I like him. He’s that old guy that makes me look young. And makes me seem to have a great memory.

In all seriousness. I like Roger. He’s a good guy. He’s one of those Lumberjocks that always helps anyone he can on here. He doesn’t take everything too seriously like some people do. In other word, HE CAN TAKE A JOKE.

And I happen to be real good friends with SuperD,
And I have some bad news for you Roger. He is fooling around with your wife. I didn’t know it till now though when I read your response, but I knew he borrowed mine last weekend for something. I know now what he needed it for. Now make him bring it back!!!


View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

10100 posts in 4051 days

#10 posted 01-22-2012 08:10 AM

Well, howdy Roger… you old COOT… you!

Just stick around & see if we give a HOOT!

Do we like it Rare, Medium, Well Done?

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: ... My Small Gallery:"

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 3434 days

#11 posted 01-22-2012 11:42 AM

I hope you guys all understand I’m taking down names.
Dave, my old fart nasel hairs have been adapted to sensors and wild eyebrows to antennas, so now I’m able sense where the straw is when taking my RegenOF elixior, and I can pick 128 Hd channels on my eyebrows.
Rick, you are one sick puppy with diarrhea
William, yeah, I sure can take a joke – I talk to you, don’t I? If anyone is fooling around with my wife then they are bigger fools than me, so anyone fooling around with her, Thanks for the premium break, just wish they would take it on permanately.
And Joe, what a wonderful friend to not have around.
Jim, what planet are you on? It’s the bloody colonials that have a stiff upper crutch, Brits can deliver more homour than you guys can understand.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View stefang's profile


15881 posts in 3333 days

#12 posted 01-22-2012 04:18 PM

Hi Roger. I probably shouldn’t give you medical advice, but I understand that sawdust contains free radicals (not the kind associated with British politics), Just breathing them in regularly might improve your health.

Unfortunately I haven’t seen most of your posts Roger and so I really don’t know you too well, but it seems obvious from all the posts that you have lightened up the lives of many overly serious LJ members ( I am not one of them). Just knowing that you are a Brit living in Texas is funny enough for me, but your humorous nature described by others seems to just magnify that fact.

Thanks for inspiring us with your indomitable will to get into your shop regardless of the circumstances, and please don’t forget to turn off your dust control system when you do!

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View StumpyNubs's profile


7592 posts in 2800 days

#13 posted 01-22-2012 04:54 PM

It’s hard to insult someone like Roger. If you say something funny, he may laugh himself into a heart attack. If you say something mean he may get angry and have a heart attack. If you say something over the top he may be so shocked that he has a heart attack.

Old people are funny that way…

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

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jim C

1472 posts in 3098 days

#14 posted 01-22-2012 05:43 PM

Here’s to the guy that’s strictly in it…....
Doesn’t lose his head for a minute…....
Know’s the game and play’s the limit….....
and still get’s all the fun that’s in it !!!!!!!!!

Happy Roast Roger!

View CharlieM1958's profile


16274 posts in 4217 days

#15 posted 01-23-2012 12:55 AM

Roger once shared his life story, and it was so sad in parts, it brought a tear to my eye. Then he posted a photo of himself and I realized God did have a sense of humor after all..

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

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