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Forum topic by Pete Mohr posted 11-09-2011 03:33 PM 955 views 1 time favorited 4 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Pete Mohr

75 posts in 2508 days

11-09-2011 03:33 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

To all you Lexiphiles …. (those who love playing on words)

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

-- "Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another." -Anatole France

4 replies so far

View Kent Shepherd's profile

Kent Shepherd

2715 posts in 2706 days

#1 posted 11-09-2011 08:21 PM

Those are good



View dpwalker's profile


273 posts in 2251 days

#2 posted 11-09-2011 09:17 PM


Do bakers with a sense of humour bake wry bread?

The bicycle salesman had broken his ankle and was thus unable to peddle his wares.

The name of my attorney is Susan Jones. I sometimes refer to her as Sue the Lawyer.

They accused her of stealing the broach but they just couldn’t pin it on her.

-- You have not really lived until you do something for someone who can never repay you.

View muleskinner's profile (online now)


868 posts in 1856 days

#3 posted 11-09-2011 11:47 PM

Those were good. My landscape architect, Roxanne DeBrie, got a good laugh from them.

-- Visualize whirled peas

View chrisstef's profile (online now)


15459 posts in 2426 days

#4 posted 11-10-2011 12:40 AM

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot

-- "there aren’t many hand tools as awe-inspiring as the #8 jointer. I mean, it just reeks of cast iron heft and hubris" - Smitty

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