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Political Science for Dummies (2 cows)

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Forum topic by CampD posted 1017 days ago 2618 views 0 times favorited 5 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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CampD

1199 posts in 2111 days


1017 days ago

Someone emailed this to me, thought I’d share it.

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’s private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows. They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish. The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the bestlooking cow. Jeb agrees.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese Only five speak English. Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

-- Doug...


5 replies so far

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2060 days


#1 posted 1017 days ago

Precious

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View nailbanger2's profile

nailbanger2

958 posts in 1769 days


#2 posted 1017 days ago

Hey, I is a Floriduh corporation! I resemble that comment.

-- Wish I were Norm's Nephew

View CharlieM1958's profile (online now)

CharlieM1958

15683 posts in 2843 days


#3 posted 1017 days ago

Funny stuff!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View CampD's profile

CampD

1199 posts in 2111 days


#4 posted 1017 days ago

Mhmmmm,... Beef!!

-- Doug...

View CampD's profile

CampD

1199 posts in 2111 days


#5 posted 1017 days ago

cr1,
ya see cows fertilized the trees to help them grow strong!
geesh

-- Doug...

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