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Respect

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Forum topic by Roger Clark aka Rex posted 10-21-2011 10:52 AM 1093 views 0 times favorited 33 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2088 days


10-21-2011 10:52 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor question

Respect is something that we all like to get but unfortunately sometimes we get no respect.

A day in my life:

2 flies landed on my Miter Saw, one went beserk when he flew off the handle.

Injured my hand on the Table Saw last week, cut deep right between the 2nd (middle) finger and the 3rd. If I raise my hand now and say “Live long and prosper” I could pass as a Vulcan.

My wife complains about the sawdust I bring in the house, asks why I can’t leave it in the shop. !!!!!

My wife told everyone I was a WoodWorker, now I have all the neighbors wanting me to split logs for their fires.

My wife bragged that I could make and match any furniture pieces, now the neighbors in our project estate want me to make maching pieces to their Thrift Store and garage sale purchases.

My wife is a really bad cook, yesterday I replaced her flour with sawdust and the cake she baked tasted much better.

Coiled up my Band Saw blade for cleaning in a pizza tray and accidentally dropped one of those little blue pills in. The blade uncoiled itself and and I could not get it to recoil for 4 hours.

Posted a Political thread on LJs and got no replies, everyone had left.

You can always tell a Chinese tool, just hit it with a steel rod and it goes “Chink”

Electrician and his mate in the shop today fixing problem. Heard them say something about “a twisted pair” so I high tailed it outta there quick.

I first thought that Lumber Jocks was slow moving Scotsmen’s site.

LJs has over 32,000 members, but only 100 or so are visible.

Is a PM sent in the morning really an AM?

My wife joined LJs under the name of Lucy Lastic – her street name.

Asked a question on LJs about fixing a tight joint, responses told me to roll the paper with less pressure!

I really miss Rodney. Got any good one liners to post?

Keep smiling

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.


33 replies so far

View degoose's profile

degoose

7012 posts in 2008 days


#1 posted 10-21-2011 11:00 AM

I still want to know why abbreviation is such a long work…??

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View GMman's profile

GMman

3902 posts in 2350 days


#2 posted 10-21-2011 01:46 PM

Good one Roger

View saddletramp's profile

saddletramp

994 posts in 1291 days


#3 posted 10-21-2011 01:55 PM

My 1st wife left me, after 25 years of wedded bitchiness I never expected her to do anything so nice for me.

-- ♫♪♪♫♫ Saddletramp, saddletramp, I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please, saddletramp ♪♪♪♫♪ ...... Bob W....NW Michigan (Traverse City area)

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15696 posts in 2871 days


#4 posted 10-21-2011 02:46 PM

Good stuff, Roger. Rodney was the best!

My favorite: My wife said she wanted to have sex in the back seat of the car. She wanted me to drive.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View poopiekat's profile (online now)

poopiekat

3629 posts in 2387 days


#5 posted 10-21-2011 03:34 PM

Rodney on the Tonight Show: I took Viagra with prune juice, now I don’t know if I’m coming or going…..

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View dakremer's profile

dakremer

2455 posts in 1744 days


#6 posted 10-21-2011 03:43 PM

haha poopie. :) :)

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5639 posts in 2082 days


#7 posted 10-21-2011 03:44 PM

When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6938 posts in 1567 days


#8 posted 10-21-2011 04:04 PM

Since all the “kids” have their little codes…like BFF, WTF, LOL, etc. here are some codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s

BFF – Best Friends Funeral

BTW – Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM – Covered by Medicare

CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center

FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

FYI – Found Your Insulin

GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA – Got Heartburn Again

HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL – Living on Lipitor

LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!

WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again

WTP – Where’s the Prunes

WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View TheKingInYellow's profile

TheKingInYellow

233 posts in 2183 days


#9 posted 10-21-2011 04:08 PM

Some of these are funny, some not so much, but did you really need to post the racist one?

-- I'm just learning how to cut the stuff with some other stuff...

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2088 days


#10 posted 10-21-2011 04:29 PM

TheKinginYellow,
Sorry, I am not quite with you? Are you serious about something racist? I am not aware that I posted anything racist. I’m not “having a go at you” or anything, but I am concerned that something was viewed as racist because I am not that way inclined.
Have a nice day.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Jacob Lucas's profile

Jacob Lucas

100 posts in 1085 days


#11 posted 10-21-2011 04:54 PM

Im with you Roger, I find nothing about this thread or its contents racist. I had a good laugh, thanks!

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6938 posts in 1567 days


#12 posted 10-21-2011 04:59 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chink

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2088 days


#13 posted 10-21-2011 05:20 PM

Thanks Mike, you live and learn, I had no idea.
Now I’m concerned because I often use words like: Yarpie, Digger, Frog, Kraut, Jock, Paddy, Taffy etc. Some refer to me as a whitey or a honky but that does not bother me. Soon you won’t be able to speak because of fearing to inadvertently using a newly designated bad word.
Thanks for the heads up, sorry KinginYellow, I did not see it as a slur.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1768 days


#14 posted 10-21-2011 06:03 PM

thank´s Roger and Mike for the chuckles … :—))))))
a great start on the weekend

Dennis

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5639 posts in 2082 days


#15 posted 10-21-2011 06:33 PM

cr1
Here’s another one in the same vein.
“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

showing 1 through 15 of 33 replies

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